What did your friends/family think after you lost weight?
hiyomi
Posts: 906 Member
I was wondering, what did your friends and family say after you lost weight? I have friends that make fun of me, mostly jokingly, but sometimes they don't realize that it pisses me off. I was supposed to have lost at least 30-35 by now, that was my "plan". I've only lost 20-25 pounds so far, and they keep saying how I was supposed to have lost more and now they just think I'm not exercising at all anymore or trying, in which I am. (Besides last week which in I got sick lol) Makes me wonder, do people like this just lose things to say once you have lost all your weight? How did people react when you lost it?
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It can be frustrating when you have lost some but not all of what you had planned. Like you really need them to tell you what you already know. I have not lost to my goal either and my husband will remind me to exercise or ask if I am going to... bah its my journey and it will happen as I make it happen. He is constantly trying to be "helpful" and tell me how he does things. You just take it with a grain of salt.0
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I totally feel your frustration. My family typically only brings up my weight loss when I mention that I've reached a certain goal (ex. 25 or 50 pounds lost...so not often). However, they constantly go on and on about how wonderful my sister looks and how skinny she is now...even though we've lost the same amount of weight. I started out much heavier than her, so my results aren't as shocking or "beautiful" yet. It's really disheartening and makes me feel like I've done nothing whenever all of the praise and boosting goes to her. I'm sure I'm just jealous, but it still kind of sucks.0
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That is so obnoxious. Really obnoxious. You have done great. We all lose at our own rate
Frankly, I would tell them they're out of line. What have they done that's so much better? If it hurts your feelings (or pisses you off) let them know. If they really are your friends, they will stop. They could either be just giving your backhanded compliments or they could be trying to tease you for having 'overly ambitious' plans. It doesn't matter. Tell them they're being hurtful.
BTW . . . for me, no one said anything for 25 pounds (I needed to lose 38). Then people started asking/complimenting. And since it's basically been all off for 6 months, people are asking how I did it and many of them have actually joined MFP.
Except, of course, my mom who keeps telling me I look too skinny (Love you Mom!).0 -
Under 10 %BF..cocaine addict haha0
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I totally understand where you are coming from! My family has not said a word about my weight loss to me and it is clearly visible at this point. I am not sure if they are afraid they will offend me because of how heavy I was? All of my co-workers notice and talk with me about my weight loss and it makes me feel good, most of my friends on the other hand are like my family and say nothing. I guess I feel I wasn't doing this for the kind words from others or to impress anyone, I was doing this for me!0
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My husband is very happy with my weight loss and compliments me so sweetly all the time. He really cheers me on and I appreciate it so much. I've had one friend say, "You look like YOU'VE lost weight," with obvious annoyance in her voice and that's the only comment I've gotten from anyone I know, friend or family. And my weight loss is obvious that this point. I agree with the previous poster who said she's not doing it for the comments, but it would be nice to hear one once in a while. A little pat on the back here and there can be a great motivator.0
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It's kind of a mixed bag. I wasn't really prepared for people to notice. My family all was very positive. I had a couple friends who at first were upset/concerned but then later wanted my advice on things. I had a couple co-workers tell me that I "didn't need" to lose weight. But that is really none of their business.
ETA - my husband has been amazing. He thought I was sexy when I was 20 lbs heavier, and still believes so now. He is very encouraging of my health and has surprised me by embracing healthier choices in his own diet.0 -
I agree with the previous poster who said she's not doing it for the comments, but it would be nice to hear one once in a while. A little pat on the back here and there can be a great motivator.
I feel the same way. I am on this journey for myself, but when has anyone not wanted, or even needed, a little self-esteem booster every now and then?0 -
My family, most of my friends compliment me on my weight loss, but there are some like HOOLLY I wanna punch them. "That's all you have lost? I feel bad for you."
"Are you even going to gym? I think you are just going to fail again like always"
(I've only tried losing weight once before and stopped!) >.<0 -
My family, most of my friends compliment me on my weight loss, but there are some like HOOLLY I wanna punch them. "That's all you have lost? I feel bad for you."
"Are you even going to gym? I think you are just going to fail again like always"
(I've only tried losing weight once before and stopped!) >.<
Wow. Just wow. I'm so sorry you've had to hear that from people close to you. That's just mean. I hope you can turn that negativity into something positive and let if motivate you to succeed instead of letting it get you down. :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm down 34.5 pounds since March 15th and nobody has noticed or if they have they haven't said anything.
At the 20 pound mark I was slightly annoyed nobody said anything but then figured it didn't matter I'm losing weight because I need too so I no longer care if anyone else notices the changes.0 -
I chose not to tell anyone what I was doing... Some family members (my worst critics for my entire life) saw me recently and just could not stop with the comments; however,some where backhanded compliments.."wow, I couldn't recognize you, your chest has decreased so much, it was so heavy before"... really? is that supposed to be a compliment?:frown: :huh:
it made me feel good they noticed and bad for the other stuff. My husband had tried to be "helpful" and ask when I was going to exercise but I stopped that on the first attempt and now he doesn't butt in... He did say the other day "'Im so proud of all the work you are doing" (He had also just gotten his *kitten* kicked with me doing a JM video, lol)...
I take it as it comes and try not to let it bother me much. I think the hardest is when people tell me to stop because I dont have that much to lose when I know Im overweight... I wonder why? I feel like they are trying to make me fail...bah them, Im doing this for me and you just wait until I'm ripped, then they can really talk, lol :laugh:0 -
I only told my husband, a couple friends and then my mil (who I'm very close with), that I was working on my weight. I lost the majority of my weight during the winter months and people didn't notice under all the bulky sweaters and coat (which I kept wearing my XL coat throughout because I'm cheap lol). Easter Sunday was really the first time I showed off a bit-bought a very flattering dress for church and wow, did I ever get a reaction! I think I had ten people come up to me that morning. I even had my friend's husband walk past me, stop, turn around, come up to me and compliment me-and then he got all flustered and apologized to my husband who was standing next to me lol.
I've only had positive feedback, and I've thoroughly enjoyed it-it was hard work to get to where I am and I'm proud of myself
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I get more compliments from people at the gym saying that they can see the difference. Before I joined MFP I lost 30 pounds then another 11 after I joined. My family and friends have not either noticed or have just not said anything.0
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Some people here at work have said wow good job you look good, or man are you on a diet or what you look skinny. Just things like that.. My mom tells me, you need to stop going to the gym so much, your clothes look huge on you! Lol.. shes the sweetest.
Although my husband dosent say anything! I dont event think he notices.. Sad
But oh well, im feeling way better in my body! 0 -
Positive reactions from everyone my family noticed first and then my friends and the funny thing is my friends didn't know I was in the obese range at my height and weight ,its nice how others see you they thought I looked fine before what wonderful people I have around me love them, I told them the other day I was 25 lbs down and they were like wow and than I said I had 16 to go and their reaction really ?Needless to say I'm all kinds of happy with how things are going .Im a whole 4ft 10 so my goal is 105 to 110. But really is where I feel my best at so it could be more or less,Im only 5 away from my prepregnancy weight yippy, my daughters are 19 months apart so I have pregnant for the past 2 yrs so to say ,my body had no break anyways now it does and I feel healthier now and I have lost 2 sizes already size 12 to size 8 and aiming for a size 6 next that would be awesome. im no longer having anymore children so this is my time for myself .0
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That's annoying, you're friends and family should be more encouraging than than. My mum and sister are always really nice and supportive0
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Some of my friends have told me that I look really good, but I wish my mom was as supportive. She's always on my back about how much I'm eating and she exaggerates a lot about how I'm not eating enough. Earlier today I was helping her clean out her refrigerator and I held up this old box of leftover mac-n-cheese and went, "Do you think anyone is ever going to eat this?" and she was like, "Well, you USED to eat leftover mac-n-cheese, back in the 'Carb Days' when you liked carbs."
And this was right after I'd just binged on french fries.0 -
For the most part, my family has been massively supportive. My husband loved me at my highest weight, and loves me now. When he's cooking, he will actually weigh and measure his recipes - huge for him, the chef who never would before. The rest of the family is supportive, although I do get a few funny comments from time to time.
The worst is at work. I have to put up with a few people who think because I prefer to spend my down time at the gym or on the road instead of in front of the tv I have an issue. I don't actually mind the food pushers. I quite like being given chocolate on a regular basis, I just know to make room for it in my day.
Or the people who insist on separating food into "good" and "bad" - I hit my macros quite nicely most days, and ignore the comments on my pizza, cupcakes, whatever else I'm choosing to eat.0 -
my one friend told me i needed a sandwich LOL... my dad told me to put a coat on... the rest are very happy for me 0
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Mostly they think I am to skinny, but I'm not.
SW was 264
CW is 122
GW is 117
It is just because I was obese for so many years that is how they saw me.
I am only 5'20 -
My friends are always complimenting me. My family doesn't even notice. Yeah, doesn't notice 80 lbs suddenly gone. Not even a whisper. -_-0
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I've always been the same size, and my family is, let's just say, not very tiny. I lost 21 pounds and went from close to a size 10 to a size 4 and I was criticized a lot and told not to lose any more weight. It was actually pretty infuriating.0
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Often the critics are lashing out at you in a negative way because they don't have the drive to do the same. You are doing a great job, slow and steady is better than a speedy weight loss. Remember this is for you, it's about you and each time you catch a glimpse of yourself may you have a kind word for the person looking back at you.0
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Often the critics are lashing out at you in a negative way because they don't have the drive to do the same. You are doing a great job, slow and steady is better than a speedy weight loss. Remember this is for you, it's about you and each time you catch a glimpse of yourself may you have a kind word for the person looking back at you.
Great comment. It is true that sometimes we need to give ourselves what we wish others would give us.0 -
http://www.provepeoplewrong.com/keep-doubting
Do not let other people derail your efforts. Who knows why some people have to say negative things to us? Prove them wrong! It's usually about their own insecurities anyway.0 -
One of my friends (who was drunk at the time), started crying and asked me, now that I was "skinny" and "hot" was I still going to be their friend. I found it kinda cute. But then I slapped him over the head and said of course. Haha 0
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A bunch of my family and friends accuse me of having an eating disorder.. :grumble:0
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I don't talk about it much, I just do it. I've told a few people that I'm trying to lose weight, but I don't say how much. Actually, I've lost 29 pounds so far and the only people who have commented are those who know that I'm doing it, and those comments have been positive. It's a little frustrating that people I haven't told don't notice that I look different! But I'm sure that will happen eventually, I just have to keep going.0
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For those of you who get really horrible comments, I just can't believe people would say such horrible things! Especially if they are your "friends". Perhaps time to reevaluate some friendships?
Anyhow friends or not these people are spiteful! Its really none of their business. I personally never gotten any mean comments from anyone, maybe some "you.are fat" stares but nothing as awful as the comments some of you received.
I personally don't mention my weight loss goals with my frds and family just coz I dont want so much unsolicited.and often wrong and useless advice.0
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