Why am I so scared of the gym

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Replies

  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?
    No one really cares what you do in the gym. They are there for themselves and pay more attention to what they do then what others are doing. You know who draws attention to themselves at the gym? People you act like they own it, scream/yell on every set, slam weight down, and hotties who wear revealing clothing. If you're none of those, then don't fret.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ILuvMoo
    ILuvMoo Posts: 41
    I find I only really notice that people are new when they're obviously being given a tour by a gym employee. And I have a tendency to absentmindedly watch them walk around the gym on the tour because it's something interesting for my eyes to rest on while I'm doing cardio. Then I realize I'm staring and get uncomfortable because I'm afraid they'll have noticed me staring, and they'll think I was staring for bad reasons or thinking negative things (I'm generally not thinking ANY things when I'm doing cardio aside from counting down until I can take a break).
  • nhguy78
    nhguy78 Posts: 34 Member
    If you're intimidated then you are at the wrong gym. I go to planet fitness. I started a new free weights routine. I didn't want to but trainer set it up and get me comfortable with it. The thing is to be confident. Know what you are doing. KICK *kitten*.
  • tinak33
    tinak33 Posts: 9,883 Member
    I go to the gym when it first opens. 80% of the people there are seniors.
    And 90% of the people there are all on cardio machines.
    I head straight for the weights where there MIGHT be 1-3 people in there. And 1-2 of them are the guys I work out with. hahaha
    Perfect.

    After work, there are more young people there and yes, lots of muscle head 20 yr olds flexing in the mirrors and stuff.
    I don't want to be around that. That's why I go in the morning.

    When I first went, I made sure I had a program or something written up to follow. So I wasn't just staring. I could head into the direction where the equipment I need is. If you are going to walk/run on a treadmill or elliptical, just pop in your headphones, crank the music and GO. :bigsmile:
    People might notice you for maybe 4 seconds. After that, they are focused on their own "jiggles". haha
  • wswilliams67
    wswilliams67 Posts: 938 Member
    I have more respect for someone struggling and working their *kitten* off than some buff bro standing around mirin. Get in there and get it done woman!
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
    Just go and don't worry about what everyone else thinks. People may stare for a minute or two but most are to wrapped up in their own workouts to really think much other than, "she's new."
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?
    No one really cares what you do in the gym. They are there for themselves and pay more attention to what they do then what others are doing. You know who draws attention to themselves at the gym? People you act like they own it, scream/yell on every set, slam weight down, and hotties who wear revealing clothing. If you're none of those, then don't fret.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Hey, just because I choose to work out in a lime green thong, don't be a hater. A rep doesn't count unless you grunt and then throw the weight down!
  • admegamo
    admegamo Posts: 175 Member
    At three of the gyms I've joined in my town and at our local Whole Foods, I've been heavily made fun of. At the whole foods, a guy and his friends moo'd at me. I'm 28 and each time it was by people my age or older who were being jerks.


    I think that depeding on where you live and probably many other things, you might run into people who have just not matured. I weigh well over 300lbs and I like to stick on some headphones (they have cool "sport" type so your ears don't get all mucky and they stay in). When I'm focused with some good fast tempo music, nothing matters and I don't notice anyone.If I think someone or people are making me the subject of their "evil" thoughts or mean words, I just refocus my eyes to an area that no one is standing and keep pushing on.

    This story makes me really sad!! I'm sorry you've had that experience :/ Major kudos to you for blocking it out and getting your workout in!

    I figure I that because most of the "bullying" and "teasing" I've endured I didn't even noticed until someone who felt bad for me brought it to my attention, I should be able to ignore them on purpose. Actually my brother lost 150lbs and he suggested the headphones and focusing on me.
  • admegamo
    admegamo Posts: 175 Member
    At three of the gyms I've joined in my town and at our local Whole Foods, I've been heavily made fun of. At the whole foods, a guy and his friends moo'd at me. I'm 28 and each time it was by people my age or older who were being jerks.


    I think that depeding on where you live and probably many other things, you might run into people who have just not matured. I weigh well over 300lbs and I like to stick on some headphones (they have cool "sport" type so your ears don't get all mucky and they stay in). When I'm focused with some good fast tempo music, nothing matters and I don't notice anyone.If I think someone or people are making me the subject of their "evil" thoughts or mean words, I just refocus my eyes to an area that no one is standing and keep pushing on.

    I'm sorry that happened to you and so glad it didn't stop you from taking control of your fitness. I hope that you at least reported to the gym management the other patrons who were making fun of you? That is not acceptable behavior from any one.

    I didn't report them. I didn't even think about it at the time. I've always been pretty good at ignoring people. As I said to another person who responded to my post, my brother lost 150lbs and gave me the advice about the headphones. You're right though, it's definitely not acceptable but they weren't really quiet about it so, at the time I figured since everyone chose to ignore it, I should too. (Even though, had I been in someone else's shoes, I would have reported it.) I guess I just didn't want to make a scene.
  • mandi_444
    mandi_444 Posts: 156
    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?

    Fear is what stops you... courage is what keeps you going!!!
  • bateslin
    bateslin Posts: 67
    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?

    A lot of it is insecurity in how we feel about ourselves and how we look. I will say I never went to a gym much for the same reason, but they offered a free week in March so I told myself I had nothing to lose. I went with a friend and we both ended up getting a membership after the week. We now go usually between 3-5 days a week. I will tell you after the first couple of days you usually get over the feeling that you're on display. I started with aqua classes so being in a swimsuit was very scary for me haha. Needless to say, go and I promise there will always be someone else there thinking the same thing. I'd venture to say most people don't give anyone a 2nd thought in the gym other than maybe "it's awesome they're working out." I have had people willingly come up when they see me clueless on a machine and show me how to work it. Everyone I've encountered has been supportive regardless of size as we are all there for similar reasons.

    The only "negative" I've experienced so far was coming out of a swim class when this man was talking to someone because he was mad that only 2 lanes were open for free swim (due to aqua classes which are scheduled). He said he "didn't understand why all the lanes were reserved for walruses." My only regret was that I just ignored the comment and didn't say something. Those are the people that make others feel judged but I'd say 99% of the people don't think twice about anyone they see in the gym.

    Go for it! You have nothing to lose but the weight :)
  • bethany41h
    bethany41h Posts: 218
    I was the same way! I never wanted to go and when I did, I wouldn't go without a friend. But once you get there, you really start to feel like you fit in and gain some confidence. I always go at the same time every day so I can expect to see the same group of people, which I think it helpful as well. I like the morning because there is always an older group of people. On the weekend there are a bunch of young buff guys that make me feel self conscious. But you will start to feel more comfortable once you start going!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,989 Member
    I don't know what is wrong, but I just can't get my head around going to the gym. I can't stop thinking that everyone will be looking at my jiggling, and sweating and puffing and panting and laugh at me.

    Its really inhabiting my progress.

    Every time I gear up to go, my own self conscious lets me down :'(

    Does anyone have any ideas?
    No one really cares what you do in the gym. They are there for themselves and pay more attention to what they do then what others are doing. You know who draws attention to themselves at the gym? People you act like they own it, scream/yell on every set, slam weight down, and hotties who wear revealing clothing. If you're none of those, then don't fret.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Hey, just because I choose to work out in a lime green thong, don't be a hater. A rep doesn't count unless you grunt and then throw the weight down!
    Nuh uh. You have to take a swig of pre workout, then slap yourself in the face, do a most muscular, then get ready for you warm up set.:laugh:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    At three of the gyms I've joined in my town and at our local Whole Foods, I've been heavily made fun of. At the whole foods, a guy and his friends moo'd at me. I'm 28 and each time it was by people my age or older who were being jerks.


    I think that depeding on where you live and probably many other things, you might run into people who have just not matured. I weigh well over 300lbs and I like to stick on some headphones (they have cool "sport" type so your ears don't get all mucky and they stay in). When I'm focused with some good fast tempo music, nothing matters and I don't notice anyone.If I think someone or people are making me the subject of their "evil" thoughts or mean words, I just refocus my eyes to an area that no one is standing and keep pushing on.

    I'm sorry that happened to you and so glad it didn't stop you from taking control of your fitness. I hope that you at least reported to the gym management the other patrons who were making fun of you? That is not acceptable behavior from any one.

    I didn't report them. I didn't even think about it at the time. I've always been pretty good at ignoring people. As I said to another person who responded to my post, my brother lost 150lbs and gave me the advice about the headphones. You're right though, it's definitely not acceptable but they weren't really quiet about it so, at the time I figured since everyone chose to ignore it, I should too. (Even though, had I been in someone else's shoes, I would have reported it.) I guess I just didn't want to make a scene.

    Make the scene. Not for you. For the next overweight person trying to make a lifestyle change at that gym.
  • emmaldownie
    emmaldownie Posts: 232 Member
    Get a partner. I'd let you sit on my face during squats. Don't give a **** when you're at the gym, everyone has a goal. You're only worried about what people think "out there". Go in, own it and find out you're smiling more - everywhere. Good luck.

    :/ This is disturbing.

    I didn't go on Thursday, I made an excuse. Basically I got my monthly for the first time in 4 years and it wiped me out. I intend to try and go tonight again.
  • aelunyu
    aelunyu Posts: 486 Member
    Some studies I recall investigating self-consciousness indicate that most people are wayyy too narcissistic to be noticing what others are doing. This is probably compounded in the gym, where most of the people you are worried about judging you are probably way too involved with flexing in the mirror, or admiring their own figure. You have nothing to worry about.
  • holothuroidea
    holothuroidea Posts: 772 Member
    I started by going with a friend. We were both intimidated and tried to back out but we supported each other and got it done.

    Eventually I started having to go without her, because I became interested in weightlifting and she was interested in metcons/HIIT, but by that time I'd developed a relationship with my coach. I'm lucky enough that he does one-on-ones with me during off times at the gym, so I only have to see people I know.

    One time, though, he wanted to bring me in during open gym. When I pulled into the parking lot I had a panic attack (an actual one). He saw me pull in the driveway and sent me a text, "Come in whenever you're ready." So an hour later I managed to walk in the gym, and then I saw all the people there and I had another panic attack and he said, "We'll try again tomorrow."

    The next day I managed to make it inside the gym, I had some anxiety but it wasn't crippling. I had a really good work out that day. My coach told me that this is not uncommon at all, that he has had many people who've done the same thing. If one day you manage to get in the car, but you can't drive there, try again the next day and you might make it to the parking lot, the next day you might make it to the front door, etc, just keep at it and you'll get in there eventually.

    But do try to give your fellow gym-goers more credit, I've met a lot of people at the gym and they've all been completely understanding and supportive.

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