kids and calories

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monakowal
monakowal Posts: 3
in Health and Weight Loss
I have a 13 year old daughter that had a complete melt-down yesterday. I know, I know......she is 13.....however, it was about her weight. She is a little heavier than she should be and her anxiety has been amplified because her dad has lost 40 lbs recently and keeps talking about weight loss and calories. I have lost some weight as well and we are making better food choices overall. I have 3 girls and 2 sons, for the most part they are all within a decent weight except my oldest son who is trying to lose weight and my 13 year old daughter who is now just realizing her self image. This is a very touchy subject for everyone. If my other kids try to encourage her she gets upset and if I suggest something else for her to eat instead of chips she is offended. I am trying to teach her to eat in moderation and make better choices and to get up off the couch and exercise with me but the other kids feel they are being penalized for her weight. Any suggestions on how to handle this situation so everyone will be ok?

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  • ashlee954
    ashlee954 Posts: 1,112 Member
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    Making healthy food choices and getting off the couch is not just for the person trying to lose wight. This is for everyone and will help the thin keep from gaining or becoming unhealthy. Maybe this is something you can explain to your other children? That these are changes the entire family needs to make, not just your daughter. That way your daughter recognizes that everyone is doing it and the focus can be taken off of her, which might be making her self conscious. Good luck to you. And good luck to your family!!!
  • jrh5249
    jrh5249 Posts: 28
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    Well, im not a parent. But i was an over-weight child and teen with an anger problem, and was extremely touchy about the same kinds of things. I would say keep making healthy suggestions and keep up the encouragement. One day she will wake up and realize that if she wants to feel comfortable in her own skin she will have to make changes. She most likely wont have to make any big changes. I know i woke up one day and realized if i wanted to look the way i wanted i had to make changes, and havent looked back since, i just hope she has the moment quicker than i did, it took me to my freshman year of college to make my changes. Hope that helped =] - and as far as your other kids feeling like they are being punished, maybe keep a few things that arent so healthy but encourage moderation for everyone.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    Also try not to keep unhealthy food in the house, that way if they want to snack it has to be something healthy.
  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
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    Oh I feel for you . . . 13 year old girls are pretty tough to deal with. You could say the same thing 2 days in a row and get completely different reactions!
    My husband and I just completely revamped our kitchen (everything, what we buy, how we cook, view food, etc) a few years ago. All of our kids were already either moved out, or just about to, so they missed all of that education on eating properly. You are VERY lucky that you are making these changes while they are young enough to get used to it and consider it normal.
    With kids it is usually black and white . . . so I would suggest making sure there are never chips around the house, or any other junk food. Prepare chopped veggies in snack bags (so they are portioned) and have lots of smart pop popcorn handy for ther snacking. Don't make anything but healthy stuff available in the house.
    Let your other kids know they are not being penalized, you want them all to be healthy, no matter what their weight is and even a slim person should not be eating junk.
    Instill these good habits now . . . and yes you are going to have some attitude at times, but luckily kids are adaptable and figure it out pretty quick.
    For your daughter, plan "mother and daughter dates" where you either go for a power walk, swimming, or some other activity then hit a salad bar or a food court for a healthy smoothie . . . plan this at least once per week.
    I started doing this when my daughter was 13 as a way to keep a good connection going with her as teenage girls really need that. My daughter is now 21 and we had an amazing relationship because of our closness, and I attribute that to those "dates".
    Good luck!
  • AMOMONAJOURNEYTOCHANGEHERLIFE
    AMOMONAJOURNEYTOCHANGEHERLIFE Posts: 170 Member
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    I would get the junk out of the house for everyone. I can see how she would be offended when everyone else has the same food options. Only get that fun food for special occasions and don't get them regularly in the house. Make a life style change instead of dieting.
  • gottaluvboyz
    gottaluvboyz Posts: 555 Member
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    Making healthy food choices and getting off the couch is not just for the person trying to lose wight. This is for everyone and will help the thin keep from gaining or becoming unhealthy. Maybe this is something you can explain to your other children? That these are changes the entire family needs to make, not just your daughter. That way your daughter recognizes that everyone is doing it and the focus can be taken off of her, which might be making her self conscious. Good luck to you. And good luck to your family!!!

    My thoughts exactly...

    I have four boys 6 and under so while I haven't hit the teen years (yet) we are trying to set healthy goals early on. Everyone gets the same thing for dinner...we do family walks/bike rides/etc. Good luck!
  • KZOsMommy
    KZOsMommy Posts: 854 Member
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    I completely agree with ashlee! Just because your other children are skinny or within a good weight does not mean that they are healthy! It is about 80% of what goes in your mouth and the rest is exercise. Your other kids should not be eating the chips and junk either. Get it out of the house!!!!! I know it is hard I have three young children. I have worked hard at teaching my kids moderation and eating healthy. My three kids teach their grandparents about eating healthy when they are with them. It is hard for them to learn not to eat that way as it is for us as adults. Who ever buys the food needs to buy healthy and you know your kids will eat it when they are hungry. Give them a week or less and they will not miss the nasty junk. Do family exercise like going to park and playing games together or talk family walks every night after dinner. It is a healthy life style not just for people that are over weight!
  • LadyNay191
    LadyNay191 Posts: 38
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    A family that plays together stays together!! Keep junk out of the house and take advantage of every opportunity to get out of the house and be active together. Summer's almost over, but it's not too late for volleyball games, softball with another family, bike rides, swimming, kayaking... all things you can do as a family that are fun and active for everyone without singling anyone out.
  • stringcheeze
    stringcheeze Posts: 286
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    Are there any sports that you all love that you could play together (like play a modified baseball game in the backyard or neighborhood park, kick around a soccer ball, play tag football)? Any nearby ponds you could walk to and feed the ducks?

    Sometimes if you frame exercise as play, it'll be a lot less stress on everybody and your daughter won't feel like she's being singled out.

    Other idea with "bad" foods: Take the chips for example. If she wants to eat them, make sure she's not taking the bag with her and munching directly from it. If you find a container that fits the serving size of the chips, tell her to fill up the container and eat from that (under the guise of not wanting crumbs everywhere). At least that way, it's portion control, and you might be able to tempt her with something else one day by putting a couple of slices of apple in that same bowl and say "here, how about these?"
  • Fancy_Nancy2
    Fancy_Nancy2 Posts: 545 Member
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    Don't make it about weight loss but make it about living a healthly life. I was told once that kids should not be put on a diet and should not try to loss there weight but they should grow into there weight (that is if they are still growing). And I would get rid of all the junk food and tell your kids it is as a family you want them to live a healthly life. Make sure you get healthily stuff they like and get them to help you to make healthly food.
  • scrappymel
    scrappymel Posts: 107 Member
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    i agree about keeping junky snacks out of the house. if the kids absolutely HAVE TO have chips, you can always try the 100 calorie packs, but i don't think any kid ever died from not having chips! :O) good luck to you and your family!
  • sjcply
    sjcply Posts: 817 Member
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    :happy: I have this same problem....I posted this topic @ a month ago on this. My dtr is 9 and a tad overweight, my 5 yr old and 14 yr old are skinny. My 9 yr old didnt have this problem until she started hanging out with 2 of our overweight neighbor kids. I am trying to limit her time with them and I only keep healthy foods in the house and I have her active in gymnastics and dance. So far there is a little change, but I just encourage her to eat good and I let her see me and her dad be active and exercising, and she will catch on. Just be patient with them and encourage them. I had fear of focusing on it too much, and it getting worse! I didnt want to give her a complex about it, being a teenage girl is hard enough!
    Good luck to you!
    The best thing you can do for them, is be a good example! :happy:
  • ElmFive10
    ElmFive10 Posts: 12 Member
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    I would handle it like a birds and the bees talk. At 13 all girl's bodies change. I'm sure her metablolism has changed from the time she was an adolescent and could eat chips and candy and burn it off by riding bikes in the cul de sac or what have you... It's all hormones and puberty and a ton of really not-fun grown up things going on. Tell her that her body is changing and she needs to take care of it. If you teach her to make responsible decisions about this, that will carry over for other things in life! You're a woman, you've been there too! Girls have it HARD. I feel so sad for teens these days, the pressure is overwhelming. Best of luck to your family!

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