No longer in denial, need some support!

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igypsy
igypsy Posts: 64 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi guys

I've been lurking around here on and off for ages, but this is my first "introductory" post.

I am female, 5'9" and 193lbs. I had no idea that I weighed this much! I think I have finally pulled my head out of the sand and am accepting that I am not just "imagining" that I am overweight, I REALLY and TRULY AM overweight. And now I want to do something about it, for real this time.

Generally, I have 2 "body image" coping mechanisms. The one is that if I feel disgusting and fat, I will binge eat as much comfort food as I can... i.e. the good old "eat my feelings" method. And the other is that I convince myself that I am actually a lot less fat than I think and so I don't need to worry too much (I'm not fat, I'm just a little extra curvy) - so I try and eat healthily but still snack on (not just a little) chocolate after dinner... and obviously neither of these methods are working out very well!

I have been working out quite a lot (Insanity, I'm in the last week of month 2) and before Insanity I used to jog quite a bit - so when I got on the scale for the first time in months this morning, I really thought that the number would be a lot lower than it was. I feel so much stronger, fitter and more energised than before starting Insanity - and I thought that this would have automatically translated into an awesome body. But it hasn't. The muscle is hiding under a layer of fat.

I haven't counted calories in ages - and I haven't been following the Insanity food guidelines. My meals are always really nutritious and I use "real", fresh food most of the time. It's the late night snacking on junk food that is my biggest enemy. That, along with weekend bingeing sessions. For a while now I've been justifying my actions by thinking that my hardcore Insanity workout means that I "deserve" those 2 candy bars after supper.... yeah right!

So - I am on a mission now. I've taken some "before" pics and I've taken measurements along with recording my weight - just so that I can't get back in denial! I'm going to count calories and make sure I am eating properly. I want to get to 160lbs initially and then take it from there.

I'm really keen to get some support on here to help keep me accountable - if anyone has similar issues, stats/goals to me please feel free to add! And any advice or guidance would be appreciated!

:smile:

Replies

  • c50blvdbabe
    c50blvdbabe Posts: 213 Member
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    First off, congrats on identifying your mindset of thinking you are "allowed" those 2 candy bars becuz you kicked *kitten* doing your workout. I sure all alot of people, myself included, feel you can eat anything becuz of this and now we know that's not the case. I believe identifying and correcting our habits is the biggest part of weight loss. Your diet and exercise will follow suit.

    With that being said, you can do this. If you need a late night snack, try nuts and yogurt, or a piece of fruit followed by a small glass of water. Log your food into MFP before you eat it. That has saved me from putting some things in my mouth. Keep a journal if necessary.

    Remember this is not a sprint. The journey is in identifying and correcting/replacing the underlying issue of why we eat the way and things that we do, which 99% of the time has nothing to do with food but the emotion we're feeling at the time
  • jjay23
    jjay23 Posts: 160 Member
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    FIRSTLY CONGRATS ON BITING THE BULLET! i was similiar, i got to 188lbs and did the whole meh im curvy or lets inhale food to make me feel better. I have really been sticking to this for 5 weeks and putting in serious exercise. I have managed to lose a good portion so far but always looking for support. I will add you, i am finding having extra people to see their progress or see that they are having the same issues as me is really helpful!
  • mlogantra76
    mlogantra76 Posts: 334 Member
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    You can do it! It looks like you have the fitness aspect down and just need to be sure to follow the diet aspect. Just be sure to track everything in mfp. You burn a lot of calories in Insanity so you need to eat at least some of your exercise calories. I understand being in denial about things. I lost 120 lbs 10 years ago and its been in the last two years that I allowed myself to regain 125 lbs. On January 2nd when I decided enough was enough, I did so without stepping on the scale. I didn't want to know my weight. I am not saying that is what you should do or anything. I'm just saying I couldn't handle seeing the number. Instead, I went by how my clothes fit.

    As for diet, I find its hard for me to decide when I have had enough food and so relying on calorie counting helps. This is even with eating nutritious whole foods like you. Could you be not eating enough in the week so when you reach the weekend, you lose your willpower? That was happening to me. Its been hard for me to break the "Its the weekend, go ahead and eat that" mentality.

    I do plan on using a scale once I reach goal and I do plan on working in a "treat" every now and then if it fits in my calorie plan.
  • igypsy
    igypsy Posts: 64 Member
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    You can do it! It looks like you have the fitness aspect down and just need to be sure to follow the diet aspect. Just be sure to track everything in mfp. You burn a lot of calories in Insanity so you need to eat at least some of your exercise calories. I understand being in denial about things. I lost 120 lbs 10 years ago and its been in the last two years that I allowed myself to regain 125 lbs. On January 2nd when I decided enough was enough, I did so without stepping on the scale. I didn't want to know my weight. I am not saying that is what you should do or anything. I'm just saying I couldn't handle seeing the number. Instead, I went by how my clothes fit.

    As for diet, I find its hard for me to decide when I have had enough food and so relying on calorie counting helps. This is even with eating nutritious whole foods like you. Could you be not eating enough in the week so when you reach the weekend, you lose your willpower? That was happening to me. Its been hard for me to break the "Its the weekend, go ahead and eat that" mentality.

    I do plan on using a scale once I reach goal and I do plan on working in a "treat" every now and then if it fits in my calorie plan.

    I can relate to this so much! The reason I hadn't stepped on a scale in so long was because when I did have a scale, I was obsessive about weighing and it would totally mess up my mood for the rest of the day (or week...!). So I got rid of the scale and focused on getting fit and strong, which has worked - but it's all about the diet in the end, isn't it!

    I must say I am lazy when it comes to counting calories. It just seems like so much effort when you're cooking a meal that involves lots of different things... but - I do know that it works, and you're right - I have NO idea how much I am actually eating! I often get so wrapped up in work that I will skip lunch and then be ravenous at supper time - and end up going way overboard.
    I think I am going to try and "standardise" a lot of my meals to make logging less of a chore.

    Well done for making the decision to get back on track - I know how tough it is when you lose weight only to put it back on (I've done this countless times...) - it really is disheartening, but, you know it can be done, and you know what to do to get yourself where you want to be!
  • healthytanya1
    healthytanya1 Posts: 198 Member
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    Add me I'm similar. SW 200 CW 169 GW 150. I started out eating healthy then slowly added more and more exercise.
  • kag896
    kag896 Posts: 12 Member
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    I have similar stats. SW 197, CW 188, GW 140-150. I just started 5 weeks ago. I had my 3rd baby 4 months ago and the image of being "just a little curvy, not overweight" got blown out of the water for me. I want my pro-kids body back. I don't want to settle for being overweight the rest of my life.
  • amlygo
    amlygo Posts: 126 Member
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    I can related too. I just went too much on the snacking side and when the scale was creeping up to close to 200 lbs that really gave me a reality check. I usually have no will power but I started this 2 weeks ago and haven't looked back. It's hard at times I admit but I try to keep pushing through. You can do it!
  • igypsy
    igypsy Posts: 64 Member
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    Thanks for all the support guys - its really great! :)

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