Why must I cry EVERYDAY!?

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KPaden1221
KPaden1221 Posts: 433
in Chit-Chat
Ok.. so this is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, but I cannot stop crying!! A few years ago the 2 people I was closest to in my family (other than my parents) passed away and I'm just dealing well with it now. They are supposed to be here with me!! One of them, was only in her early 50's her son, who is a year younger than me recently got engaged and she wasn't here for that. She is missing all of the biggest happiest moments in our life. Why isn't she here!? Why did she have to die? And my Aunt Lorene who passes away was much older and sick, so I know that she is in a MUCH BETTER PLACE but she was my rock and always supported me in everything I did. And she's not here either!! Neither of my Grandfathers are here to see this big day either. Neither is my best friend who passed away when we were 17. I dunno why all of this is hitting me now and why i'm having such a hard time dealing with this. I'm just so totally misterable and cannot stop crying. And i am so stressed about this wedding. But honestly, I'm the luckiest girl inthe world. My fiance is the most amazing loving caring man out there.. although sometimes i get really frustrated with him I know there is absolutely no one else I wanna spend the rest of my life with. He has become my rock, my happy place, my world! I am just so ready to be his wife. I'm sorry for this rant, but I really needed to get it out. I do feel a little better now...

Replies

  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    Aw, hon. :( I'm sorry you've had so much loss in your life. Just think that now you're gaining so much! You're going to be a wife and one day a momma and I'm sure you've already made him the happiest man alive, just as he's made you the happiest woman!!

    That's really the tough thing about life... everything has their time and course and sometimes the times and courses of things of others' lives don't coincide with the times and courses of OUR lives even though we really want them to.

    Just remember that your best friend, grandpas and everyone else is watching and they're so happy for you.
  • Amandac6772
    Amandac6772 Posts: 1,311 Member
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    I think it's natural when you are heading into life's big events to want to share them with all your loved ones. My grandmother and my favorite aunt wanted me to have children so badly and neither got to see me do that. I just think how much they would have loved my son and I hate he is going to miss those two amazing women. Even though they are not here on this earth, they see and know about your wonderful life and your wonderful man. Take comfort in that they would be so proud of the choice you made.


    BIG (((HUGS)))!!!
  • lpoor
    lpoor Posts: 6
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    I think this is so normal. I lost my mom in 2006 and I seemed to cope with it for the first year or so, but then as some different things in my life happened, I really missed her more and more. I was nominated to receive an award at work and I was praying that I did not win because I thought I would burst into tears thinking that she was probably the one who would have been the most proud of me. Different people would remind me of her and I would get so sad, I was weeping almost daily. I think it is normal that you are missing these people because you wish they were here to share your wedding day. You should keep talking to people about it and if it continue to be so difficult talk to your doctor. There is medication or therapy to help you through these rough times. It really helped me.
  • FoamyRiver
    FoamyRiver Posts: 276 Member
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    And just remember that a lot of people have these kinds of days. I know I do; I call them my weepy days. Sometimes I don't even know why I can't stop crying I just know that I'm sad and the slightest thing (like a commercial on TV) will make me cry but those days don't last for long. I think sometimes it's like a cleansing and once I am all cried out I feel much better.

    It also helps when you have a great support system, like your fiance, family, friends and all of us here at MFP. I hope you feel better soon and I wish you much happiness in the future!
  • 00963
    00963 Posts: 1
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    So sorry for your losses. I lost a daughter 8 yrs ago when she was 23 yrs old. After 3 years and 3 months exactly, I heard her tell me to let her go cause she had work God wanted her to do. I do have a beautiful grand daughter from her. I lost my best friend to cancer when she was 30, my brother to leukemia at 29, my dad at 57 and my mom 1 yr ago. I know how hard it is to lose someone. But remember that they can still see everything and you can still talk to them. I don't know why God took my child instead of me but I do believe God knows what he's doing. Hang in there and get an antidepressant if needed for awhile. Quiet walks and the Bible might help also.
  • catnrnd45
    catnrnd45 Posts: 3
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    You hit it on the head when you said you are just now dealing with it. Guilt over being happy is one of the most self destructive things we can do to our selves. When you can accept that the people you have lost would want you to be happy and are still with you in your heart the next step in healing will begin. Let the tears wash away the pain to make room for your new beginning.
  • kduff0101
    kduff0101 Posts: 3
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    I am sorry you have lost so many loved ones...
  • bree1609
    bree1609 Posts: 136
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    It's natural to be stressed out around this time in your life when you're planning a wedding. All those emotions can seem overwhelming, but just remember that all of those people became a part of you in the way they affected you throughout your time with them. Because of that, they will never be too far away!

    Congrats on your upcoming marriage! Remember, all that matters at the end of that day is that you will be a married woman!
  • Rivalee
    Rivalee Posts: 22
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    Perhaps it's important to remember that this is both the beginning of your wonderful future and also the end of your past as it was. We focus so much on celebrating these kinds of changes (marriage) and tend to forget that we must also grieve the loss of what is. We should be held and embraced by the ones we love during these great transitions, and I am so sorry that your loved ones can't be there for you. We are each sending some love your way today, and it's okay to cry for your losses at the same time as you celebrate your new life. Congratulations and many, many blessings.

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