Please help. So depressed

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jaz050465
jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Over the years I have tried everything. For the past year I've tried MFP calculations, scooby calculator, BMF and fitbit. All give me very different TDEEs but I don't seem to be able to lose weight. I am within my healthy weight range so have tried a deficit of 500 but then every so often I binge (only mini binge) and lose any deficit I had. I am constantly gaining and losing the same few pounds.

I then throw myself into exercise and am so stiff that I can't do anything for a few days. I want to do alternate days of C25K and strength training but lack of weight loss demotivated me to do this too.

I want it to work but have totally lost confidence in ever losing weight. I also don't know what to believe in terms of my TDEE and what deficit to have so I don't know how many calories to eat.

I am 47, 5 ft 7 and weight about 148 pounds. I have a small frame though and am about 36 % body fat.

I am really getting depressed by this. I am going on a beach holiday in three weeks and I really wanted to be about 10 pounds lighter when I booked it last year. I haven't really lost anything.

Replies

  • affacat
    affacat Posts: 216 Member
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    1) start slower in exercise and build up. don't try to overdo it if you're out of shape, you'll either hurt yourself, burn out, or be so sore you'll find a reason not to do it. Just start by walking everyday. After you get used to spending the time in the day exercising, start increasing intensity. Once you're really getting used to it, add in strength training.

    2) pick a TDEE and stick to it. Count your cals. Check back in a month. Adjust your TDEE accordingly.

    3) Stop setting goals a year in advance, or, at least, set middle goals. " i want to lose 10 pounds by 2017" (or, 'next summer') is so far out you're just going to procrastinate... which is exactly what you did. Rather, say, I want to lose 3 pounds by the end of the month, and 10 pounds in 3 months. Then stick to your diet.


    Don't get depressed, get ACTIVE. If you start walking, and eating healthier, many of your 'depression' issues will just fix themselves. You'll feel better, you'll likely sleep better, and you'll have more self confidence that you can accomplish things.
  • chantey16
    chantey16 Posts: 27 Member
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    just to point out that because you are within a healthy weight range, you should try to aim for a really small calorie deficit (200-300). 500 is a bit too aggressive for those only aiming to lose vanity pounds.
  • Marmitegeoff
    Marmitegeoff Posts: 373 Member
    Options
    1) start slower in exercise and build up. don't try to overdo it if you're out of shape, you'll either hurt yourself, burn out, or be so sore you'll find a reason not to do it. Just start by walking everyday. After you get used to spending the time in the day exercising, start increasing intensity. Once you're really getting used to it, add in strength training.

    2) pick a TDEE and stick to it. Count your cals. Check back in a month. Adjust your TDEE accordingly.

    3) Stop setting goals a year in advance, or, at least, set middle goals. " i want to lose 10 pounds by 2017" (or, 'next summer') is so far out you're just going to procrastinate... which is exactly what you did. Rather, say, I want to lose 3 pounds by the end of the month, and 10 pounds in 3 months. Then stick to your diet.


    Don't get depressed, get ACTIVE. If you start walking, and eating healthier, many of your 'depression' issues will just fix themselves. You'll feel better, you'll likely sleep better, and you'll have more self confidence that you can accomplish things.

    +1
    Note to self " Get on the case"
  • Mary9921
    Mary9921 Posts: 100 Member
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    I think affacat hit it on the head....

    I just wanted to reach out and tell you your not alone....

    I am 49 and trying to lose 50+ pounds....I too am depressed sometimes, but getting better....

    This website has helped me tremendously with motivation and accountability...

    I have only been here since April but it has really been a great find....

    Good luck to you, hope you feel better soon...reach out anytime, sometimes you just need a little something :flowerforyou:
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
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    Thanks for your advice and support.
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
    Options
    1) start slower in exercise and build up. don't try to overdo it if you're out of shape, you'll either hurt yourself, burn out, or be so sore you'll find a reason not to do it. Just start by walking everyday. After you get used to spending the time in the day exercising, start increasing intensity. Once you're really getting used to it, add in strength training.

    2) pick a TDEE and stick to it. Count your cals. Check back in a month. Adjust your TDEE accordingly.

    3) Stop setting goals a year in advance, or, at least, set middle goals. " i want to lose 10 pounds by 2017" (or, 'next summer') is so far out you're just going to procrastinate... which is exactly what you did. Rather, say, I want to lose 3 pounds by the end of the month, and 10 pounds in 3 months. Then stick to your diet.


    Don't get depressed, get ACTIVE. If you start walking, and eating healthier, many of your 'depression' issues will just fix themselves. You'll feel better, you'll likely sleep better, and you'll have more self confidence that you can accomplish things.

    It's the picking a TDEE bit I find difficult. I get different values from online calculators, MFP, fitbit and BMF. Then there's the question of deficit. Many people say as I'm in my healthy range it should be 500 or less but when using BMF, that didnt work. With two sets of variables - how do I know where to start? Then when I adjust if it doesn't work, do I go up or down?
  • GADavies
    GADavies Posts: 62 Member
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    It's the picking a TDEE bit I find difficult.
    Pick a number, if you don't lose weight in two weeks lower it. Repeat until weight loss happens, that's your number. Any calculator is a SWAG (scientific wild-*kitten* guess), whether you lose weight or not at a figure is the only real measure.
  • sunglasses_and_ocean_waves
    sunglasses_and_ocean_waves Posts: 2,757 Member
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    It's the picking a TDEE bit I find difficult.


    No it's not. You said in your OP that you'll lose a few and then binge eat them back. So you know how to get started, and you know what # works for you. If you're going to massage the truth to us, what are you telling yourself? You've found a great little snafu that you want to blame this on however, your words betrayed you.

    Pick something. Stick to it. Don't sabotage yourself.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    Oohh... coming in here to be all motivational and getting déjà vu! Yeah, basically what I said on your other thread. :smile:
  • eponine1976
    eponine1976 Posts: 143 Member
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    In addition to what the others said, if you're not already using a food scale to measure your portions you might want to try that. Most people overestimate portion size so it is possible you are eating more calories than you realize. Also, there have been studies showing that many restaurant foods have as much as 20% more calories than what the restaurants publish as being their calorie content so even if you are going by their data you could still be getting more calories than you realize so that you may be eating a lot closer to maintenance or even overeating without realizing it.
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
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    It's the picking a TDEE bit I find difficult.


    No it's not. You said in your OP that you'll lose a few and then binge eat them back. So you know how to get started, and you know what # works for you. If you're going to massage the truth to us, what are you telling yourself? You've found a great little snafu that you want to blame this on however, your words betrayed you.

    Pick something. Stick to it. Don't sabotage yourself.

    My gaining and losing seems mainly daily fluctuations in water weight. I haven't actually kept any weight off for months and months so I honestly DON't know how may calories I need to lose.
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
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    Oohh... coming in here to be all motivational and getting déjà vu! Yeah, basically what I said on your other thread. :smile:

    Sorry- just wasnt sure what board I should put it on ????
  • jaz050465
    jaz050465 Posts: 3,508 Member
    Options
    In addition to what the others said, if you're not already using a food scale to measure your portions you might want to try that. Most people overestimate portion size so it is possible you are eating more calories than you realize. Also, there have been studies showing that many restaurant foods have as much as 20% more calories than what the restaurants publish as being their calorie content so even if you are going by their data you could still be getting more calories than you realize so that you may be eating a lot closer to maintenance or even overeating without realizing it.

    Thanks but I DO weigh everything.

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