Please help- I'm all over the place

You sound a little 'all or nothing' - I've always been the same, until MFP. Try a smaller deficit since you're close to goal - you'll be more likely to stick to it. And start working out twice a week maybe and build from there - don't try and work out every day. Someone else probably has better advice, but this is what's working for me - start small.

You're right. I suppose I struggle sticking to anything as I'm never sure if I'm doing the right thing. How long should I stick to a regime before I adjust it?

How about: stop doing "regimes"?! No wonder your mind is rebelling. Physical deprivation can cause binges. Psychological deprivation can cause binges. It's normal. For some people, this is more of a risk than for others, but the process of dieting can seriously mess up people's relationship with food. If you're binging (however mini; the point is you feel out of control with it) then that's a clear sign that what you're doing isn't working. You don't need to get more will power, or get more motivation, you need to find a different way. You say "I'm a very all or nothing person". Well - maybe you need to try to do things differently.

By cutting 500 calories a day, you're aiming for 1 lb a week of fat loss, which is not realistic or recommended for someone who is already a healthy weight. And clearly, it's not working for you psychologically. Try a smaller deficit - like 250 calories. Forget your 3 week deadline, in fact try not to have deadlines at all. Accept that you're not 10 lbs lighter than you'd hoped you would be, and don't let that ruin your holiday.

Stop "throwing yourself into things". Make small, gradual changes, that you know you can sustain. Eat the foods you like, just make sure you're consuming a little less energy than you're expending. Find exercise that you enjoy. I can't recommend the C25k highly enough, but only do it if you enjoy it. Don't force yourself to do things that become a chore. Weight loss/maintenance is hard, but don't make it harder than it needs to be.

Forget the number on the scale, and forget using that as your motivation to continue something. If you aren't already, start measuring your body, and taking progress photos.

Given that you have a relatively high body fat % for your weight, you need to be able to lose fat while maintaining the lean mass that you have. Strength training is going to be key to getting the body that it sounds like you're after. Again, stop making it about "weight". The number the scale tells you when you step on it already puts you in the healthy range for your height, so you can tick that box. Focus on body fat % now. (Just as a side note - if you're getting your fat % from your scale, they can be wildly inaccurate). For strength, check out the New Rules of Lifting For Women, or Starting Strength, or Stronglifts 5x5. Maybe following a set programme would give you the motivational boost you need. Strength is not just important for getting the look you want though, it's really important for health, for maintaining muscle mass and bone density.

You might find it helpful to read some of Lyle McDonald's articles where he talks about some of these issues. http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/category/fat-loss/psychology-behavior-fat-loss

Also, check out this MFP group: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/10067-eat-train-progress- There's a great thread on there if you want someone to estimate your body fat based on photos, and if you're really struggling with your numbers, they can help you out with that too.

Finally, for a little inspiration from a couple of ladies in their 40s:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/903628-one-year-of-barbells-and-ice-cream-my-story-so-far-pics
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/709987-how-wrong-i-was-600-days-of-mfp-lotsa-pics

I had a similar situation. I believe AGE has a lot to do with it. I too am in my mid-40's and is sucks to lose weight once you get to this point in your life. Look around at the ladies your age - we all have similar problems. I have always been an athlete. I have always had to be actively at the gym to keep the weight off (never been a "skinny" person, but always fit) and never had much of a size difference (6-8 most of my adult life) until I had a ski accident and had to have several leg/knee surgeries that kept my off my feet for nearly a year. 25 pounds later I finally was able to get into an exercise routine with a personal trainer. It took ONE full year to lose only 10 pounds! I was so bummed and depressed and wanted to give up several times. I did the 17 day diet which showed me a new way of eating so now I am very conscience of what I put in my mouth. Still I couldn't shift the last 15 pounds and I have been working my butt off (or so I thought). Recently I upped my cardio to 90 minutes a day and have taken up horseback riding as well as yoga. At first no weight loss, but slowly I noticed the muffin top go away. The scale did not budge during this time but my clothes became looser. I've added 30 day shred as well as some barbell classes into the mix over the past two weeks and guess what? Instantly I've lost 3 pounds! It is true the older you get the harder you have to work out. If you aren't loosing anything - push the cardio. I just make sure I get between 1100 - 1600 calories per day. And no I am not going into starvation mode! As long as you get the minimum and it's healthy calories you will be fine. I also work out 6 days a week. 4 pretty rigorous, and 2 not as much, and 1 totally off unless it's walking or riding.

Read the Beck Diet Solution Book, by Judith Beck. She also has a website beckdietsolution.com. I have made this book my new staple in my diet. She keeps me remembering to focus in the right places. So helpful. Your head has to be in line before your body can follow. At least that is what works for me.
Good luck and give yourself a break.
Margaret

I have registered for 5k run in August and am doing C25k programme. I want to alternate it with strength training.

I have tried chalean Extreme, body by you (you are your own gym) , body Revolution and 30DS. I don't want to join a gym and haven't got room for a squat rack so can't do a heavy lifting programme. I'd like advice on which of the above would be best. If I did BR or CE, I'd take out the mainly cardio workouts.

Anyone that can help you with the weights?
My friend who's been doing weights at my place has to have me lift the weights on to her back, because the DIY power cage is setup for me - I could as well be lifting them from the floor.

Adding weights to Cardio isn't really 'doing weights', it's just making cardio a bit harder - a big difference.

At the moment I've been doing weights Monday/Wednesday/Friday and usually about an hour to an hour and a half running (depending on pace - 6 to 9 miles generally) on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

But I'd agree with the above, it does sound like you need some consistency - if you do something for a month and don't find the scales going down but otherwise find you're ok, I'd then look to lower calories a chunk personally (I know that isn't popular around here.)

go onto youtube and look for instructional videos for dumbbell squats and flys, etc. or msg me and I can. You can find a lot of weight exercises that you don't need a squat rack for. To work the shoulders, back, arms, core, legs, all over really and your body will thank you for it