Never thought I'd write this but..

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something_vague
something_vague Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
I started to lose weight in October of 2012. By March I had lost 54 pounds, and was working out 4 or 5 times a week. My body was looking so different, I had lines and definition places I had never before. I felt the best I have in years. And I was so confident with myself, it really felt like this was the time - I had little bumps here and there but I always got back on track right away.

I stopped losing weight in March. Then I ended my long term relationship for multiple reasons, and had to move back home. I've been very depressed, and long story short - I have gained 16 pounds back. Every single day I make plans to start my progress again, but it never happens. The "slimness" I had started to feel is gone, I haven't worked out in 2 months and all the changes I had seen in my body are gone. I feel bigger than ever even though I am still technically down 38 pounds.

I'm just so pissed at myself for gaining weight back, I'm frustrated with having to re-lose that weight and to pretty much start over with my work out routines. I know it's all me, and I'm the only one who can start making changes again but it feels like I'm not in control of myself anymore. I figured back in October I would be down 80 pounds by now, but now I'm not even at 40.

I know I will feel better when I start working out and eating better again, but it's like I can't get to that place again. Every day I'm "starting over" and then everyday nothing changes. I haven't given up, because I know I can't live like this anymore. I just hate that I have to make up all this lost progress, but I know it will only get worse if I don't get over it and just do it now.

I know that it is only me who can do this for myself, I just wanted to write this out because I've been finding it too hard to talk to anyone about this. Everyone was so proud of me, and now I just feel like a failure.

Replies

  • ktsmom430
    ktsmom430 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    Things happen. You know you can do it. Ask yourself what you want more, to lose weight, or to get momentary satisfaction from eating more. This is just another "bump" for you to get over. It happens to us all. You are not alone, and it is not easy.
  • 122ish
    122ish Posts: 339 Member
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    I think many of us fall off the wagon here and there and find it difficult to get back on. I know I was so off track for 6 weeks luckily I only gained 2-3 lbs. I have been slow to start but am watching my cals and have set mfp to sedentary just in case. It's crazy how we know that what we were doing made us feel so great but can't seem to do it again. So I am just going to tell u what I always tell everyone Just Do It!

    U r not a failure, just look at what u have accomplished, even if u are only at 38 lbs loss right now that is pretty darn fantastic. If u have to start slow but don't make excuses as to why u can't because u can do this
  • MissSaturday
    MissSaturday Posts: 784 Member
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    Come on it happens! But it is not the end! And from my personal experience better alone then in bad company or someone who doesn't deserve you. Start again and by October you may also lose other 40 lbs! There are still 5months to go. If you want you can add me :)
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
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    I went through nearly the same thing. I had lost 60lbs and couldn't BELIEVE the strength my body was capable of. Then the relationship I was in at the time went to crap, and I ate and slept away the pain. I gained 24lbs back. But I felt fatter than ever! In a stroke of luck, I met and married the love of my life not too long after that, but still pushed my health to the back burner. I finally decided to get back on track, and it just feels harder. But one thing that's helped me personally is to look up and recite inspirational fitness mottos, like "1 year from today, you'll be glad you started today." I'm a few months in, and I've only lost 7.7lbs. It really is harder the 2nd time, but still as worth it as it ever was. Good luck!
  • texanintokyo
    texanintokyo Posts: 278 Member
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    I think realizing it NOW instead of after you regain ALL the weight is a step in the right direction. You did it once and you know you can do it again!! Just start tracking you calories (even on the bad days) and get moving!!

    Some days I just can't get motivated AT ALL. I know I may not make it to the gym but I will at least drag myself out for a walk and say if I still want to quit in 5 minutes I'll turn around and go back home. I have yet to ever turn around and go home and I always feel better after even if I didn't make it to the gym for a full work out.
  • Inesesfitnesspal
    Inesesfitnesspal Posts: 27 Member
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    Inspiring sentence:
    Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.
    Keep this in mind and make also notes to all over your home such reminders.
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
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    Inspiring sentence:
    Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.

    Ooh I like that one!

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