How do or did you know you're done?

cutmd
cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
edited September 21 in Health and Weight Loss
this may seem like a silly question to some. But how will you know when you're done losing weight? Other than going off the unhealthy end of your bmi, how do you know you wouldn't look better a pound or five lighter than the weight you set as your goal?

As I fluctuate around my goal weight I'm not sure if I should aim lower or focus on maintenance. If you asked me 2 years ago I would say 118 is way too small for me, but now I'm around there and never looked better. With my height and small frame, I could go to something like 105 without being unhealthy.

I'd like to hear your thoughts! We all know most of the numbers we pick are arbitrary or based on some historical number when you had a different body composition etc. So how will you know when you're done losing weight? How will you know when you've gone too far? Do you plan on giving yourself a few buffer pounds? :wink:

Replies

  • LotusF1ower
    LotusF1ower Posts: 1,259 Member
    this may seem like a silly question to some. But how will you know when you're done losing weight? Other than going off the unhealthy end of your bmi, how do you know you wouldn't look better a pound or five lighter than the weight you set as your goal?

    As I fluctuate around my goal weight I'm not sure if I should aim lower or focus on maintenance. If you asked me 2 years ago I would say 118 is way too small for me, but now I'm around there and never looked better. With my height and small frame, I could go to something like 105 without being unhealthy.

    I'd like to hear your thoughts! We all know most of the numbers we pick are arbitrary or based on some historical number when you had a different body composition etc. So how will you know when you're done losing weight? How will you know when you've gone too far? Do you plan on giving yourself a few buffer pounds? :wink:

    It is not a silly question at all, in fact the problem you are describing is very common amongst some people who have lost weight.

    The answer I have found is, you don't know. This is why some people keep setting new goals and go lower and lower and then before they know it, they really do have a problem!

    The best thing to do is to set your goal at the beginning and stick to it. Do not veer off it, thinking that another five pounds here or another ten pounds there will make you look even better, because in reality, you have already lost sight of your goal at that point.

    Losing weight is more psychological than many people give it credit for, the mind is a peculiar thing, very powerful, it can twist things and make you see something quite different from how people outside will see you.

    If you get to your original goal weight, which should be in the healthy range for your height, age and build, then move onto the maintenance stage, it is safer to do that than trying to carry on and lose your focus x
  • jjstokes
    jjstokes Posts: 47 Member
    I have the same question! I'm very close to my goal weight. Sooo...now what? I'm also small boned and short. I'm thinking I should stay in the center of the healthy BMI range and be happy. (This web site ROCKS!!)
  • You gotta go with what you feel most comfortable being. If you think you'd feel better at the smaller weight, then go for it. You've come this far. Otherwise, go into maintenance mode. God bless you on your maintenance journey!! :flowerforyou:
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
    Thanks for the advice guys, I was hoping you all would chime in with your own personal goals and how you will know you're done - I'm nosy! :tongue:
  • LotusF1ower
    LotusF1ower Posts: 1,259 Member
    Thanks for the advice guys, I was hoping you all would chime in with your own personal goals and how you will know you're done - I'm nosy! :tongue:

    Ack sorry, my own goal is 138lbs, I have 16lbs to go, then I will go onto my maintenance stage. That will be when I eat my exercise calories and up my daily calorie intake bit by bit. It really will be hit and miss until I find my level xxx
  • rachel5576
    rachel5576 Posts: 429 Member
    well my goal right now is 110lbs but i also have a very small frame and im about 5'3 as i get closer to my goal less than 10 pounds to go!!! I'm thinking maybe 105 might be better. i really dont care what i weigh more how i look so if i do get to 105 and decide i need to gain ten pounds of muscle so be it.
  • a1schwei
    a1schwei Posts: 617 Member
    i'm curious about this too...when i originally started i thought i'd lose 10 lbs tops because i never had much success losing or keeping off the same stubborn 5 lbs, but once i'd lost the 10 lbs i wanted to try for 5 more to give myself some wiggle room...now i've lost a total of 15 lbs and i look and feel better about myself than i have since i was 15 :) (i am 5'3'' and about 127.5 lbs)...but i still have spots that could use some work and plenty of room to manuver within the healthy bmi range...so i can't decide whether i want to stick here or challenge myself a bit more...the thing that makes me teeter toward sticking where i am at is that i think that right now i am at a weight that i can maintain without too much stress and be healthy and happy...much smaller and it would be more difficult :)
  • somigliana
    somigliana Posts: 314 Member
    It's a very, very good question, and one I have recently struggled with, as well. I think I've sort of found my answer, for now. It's a work in progress, I guess, and depends on your body frame and what your musculature is like.

    In my case, although my BMI is only a shade under 23 now, my hipbones are just starting to stick out and I'm happy with how I look in the mirror and feel in my skin, so I've switched to maintenance for now. :smile:
  • shintowa
    shintowa Posts: 37
    For me, it's the midranged BMI coupled with something I know from when I was younger: I do not look good much lower than that. I know once I get to 165 to stop, I'm done, no more. When I get there, it becomes maintenance coupled with toning, so any calories I exercise off over maintenance I am going to eat back.
  • zanniew
    zanniew Posts: 23 Member
    I've reached my goal, which is the top of the chart for my age group & BMI--I'm 58, and 5 feet tall, but have always been on the curvier side of things. Weight 128 was always fine with me: less was so hard to reach over this last decade. But it's been a year since I had major cancer surgery--bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction--so that I'm figuring I must have lost a few pounds in the operating room that day. Then I've been working hard to build muscle so as to minimize the side effects of some of the surgery: Pilates and light weight work have reshaped what the surgeon didn't, and muscle, of course, weighs more than fat. So whew! I have no idea what weight is right. I do know that people are starting to give me very positive comments, and that they've also once, long ago, told me when I looked like I'd lost too much. I am remembering how when my mom was in her last decade, she had trouble eating and digesting: she said she was glad that she'd had few extra pounds to help tide her over during this hard time.
  • Jeffbri
    Jeffbri Posts: 11 Member
    Personally I use the BMI guide as well as my doctor's advice.
  • Skinnytime
    Skinnytime Posts: 279
    "You can never be too rich, or too thin" ... For me, I'll stop when I'm back into the clothes I wore when I was in my 20's. I may not choose to wear them, but I want them to fit. Then I'll know I'm good. That was when I was at my strongest and healthiest.

    When to stop is a very personal decision. It's like answering the question: how did you know he /she was the one? Many factors come into play.
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
    well my goal right now is 110lbs but i also have a very small frame and im about 5'3 as i get closer to my goal less than 10 pounds to go!!! I'm thinking maybe 105 might be better. i really dont care what i weigh more how i look so if i do get to 105 and decide i need to gain ten pounds of muscle so be it.

    Hmm, we are the same height, build, and probably the same weight, and I'm thinking to adjust my goal of 118 to 115 or 110, now you're saying 105 and it has me thinking. But i am already pretty muscular and I'd have no curves left i think, plus if my ribs stick out anymore I'll hate it. As it is I might have to consider a boob job! See, reading your goal helped me because I now feel more cemented to the idea of 110-118 :flowerforyou:

    Zanniew, what a great story! Congratulations on your survival and successful weight loss!

    Skinnytime, that's a great answer. In fact I think about the thin quote sometimes. But I guess I like to hear "how did you know he/she was the one?" stories as well :tongue:
  • kdiamond
    kdiamond Posts: 3,329 Member
    I reached my goal of 112 then kept going. I got as low as 102 and said, nah, I look too skinny, so I starting a slow bulk through healthy eating and weight training to get where I am now at 107. I love this weight and have never looked better. You will know! And then you need to switch to maintenance...
  • atynk
    atynk Posts: 400 Member
    I have hit my goal like 3 times already and changed it lol... I thought for sure 155 would be ok, then the weight kept coming off, now i am at 146 and still losing. What I did for myself was had an accurate body fat test done. The test results were that I had 27% body fat. It puts me in a healthy fat range, but if i did lose 10 or 15 more I would still be in the healthy range but my body would look better. So I feel for myself that if I keep losing and my body fat is not in or even close to the unhealthy range (as well as bmi) I can go further if I want. However my weight loss has slowed to like 1 lb a month so I know I am getting close!
  • LotusF1ower
    LotusF1ower Posts: 1,259 Member
    I have hit my goal like 3 times already and changed it lol... I thought for sure 155 would be ok, then the weight kept coming off, now i am at 146 and still losing. What I did for myself was had an accurate body fat test done. The test results were that I had 27% body fat. It puts me in a healthy fat range, but if i did lose 10 or 15 more I would still be in the healthy range but my body would look better. So I feel for myself that if I keep losing and my body fat is not in or even close to the unhealthy range (as well as bmi) I can go further if I want. However my weight loss has slowed to like 1 lb a month so I know I am getting close!

    Out of interest, where did you get your fat test thing done? I've had the calliper things before, but am wondering what other fat test tests you can have done.

    Thanks :flowerforyou:
  • atynk
    atynk Posts: 400 Member
    I have hit my goal like 3 times already and changed it lol... I thought for sure 155 would be ok, then the weight kept coming off, now i am at 146 and still losing. What I did for myself was had an accurate body fat test done. The test results were that I had 27% body fat. It puts me in a healthy fat range, but if i did lose 10 or 15 more I would still be in the healthy range but my body would look better. So I feel for myself that if I keep losing and my body fat is not in or even close to the unhealthy range (as well as bmi) I can go further if I want. However my weight loss has slowed to like 1 lb a month so I know I am getting close!

    Out of interest, where did you get your fat test thing done? I've had the calliper things before, but am wondering what other fat test tests you can have done.

    Thanks :flowerforyou:


    I got it done at a university in London Ontario... its called a bod-pod test. they put you in this little pod wearing just spandex and a swim cap so its like 99% accurate. I was shocked when he said 27% because my scale and my gym said 21% so i was a bit disapointed, however he explained that 27 is very good and most other places are off by about 8% so that makes a huge difference... makes sense though b/c I hear from other people how they have 20% or so and do not even look as fit as I so i found that confusing..now i know they probably are not that low ...

    good luck!
  • junebug523
    junebug523 Posts: 196
    My goal on MFP is 125, which, given my medium frame and 5'2" height, is right around the middle of my BMI range. When I was in high school I actually got down to 119.5 at one point, and I felt amazing. However, things have changed. Right now my big goal is to get below 137, which will put me in the BMI range. At that point, I'm sure I'll still want to lose a few pounds, but I'm also very aware that I want a healthy body fat % more than a certain number. I think what I'm going to do once I get to the mid-130's is to have my body fat tested, which will give me more of an idea where I want to be. There is a part of me that thinks it would be lovely to weigh 115-120, but right now, I can't even imagine that. We'll see! Right now, I'm hovering at 150, and can't seem to get into the 140's...so at this rate I've probably got several months to go before I need to start re-assessing.
  • Amandac6772
    Amandac6772 Posts: 1,311 Member
    My goal is 125 and i'm 5 ft 1, medium frame. I was 100 lbs even in high school but that was too skinny for me. I'll reaccess at 125. If I don't like it, I will adjust to 120 or 115.
  • katlynx6
    katlynx6 Posts: 68
    I am 5'2" and when I started losing weight, I was at about 136 and wanted to be 115 since thats about what I weighed in high school 4 years ago. However as I've started to lose weight I've realized that I'm not sure that that's a realistic goal. I've hovered around 125 for a while, but have come down to 122 :smile: but my plateau (while frustrating) has helped me realize that a realistic goal might be more like 120. My body is just different than in high school (naturally) so I think it would be detrimental to hit that same weight. I could probably get down to 115 but I'd have to be so strict that I don't think I'd even enjoy it! However I have to admit that I would love to be say... 118, 119, just to be out of the 120's, however silly that may be.
  • HOSED49
    HOSED49 Posts: 642 Member
    I reached my goal in April, so I reset my goal on here to maintain my new weight. The first thing I found it hard to do was eat close to the new calories it allowed me after I changed to losing 0 lbs. I think it bumped up like 400 calories and it took me over a month to reach that level. My weight fluctuates about 3-4 lbs daily anyways. Whoever said it is mental is spot on. I weigh every morning before my shower and every night before bed which is sad because everyone should know that the scale is not your true friend while dieting! Obviously I dont practice what I preach in that area. So when you reach your goal you will see if it is truly the goal you want or not. But know that you might reach the weight on the scale but you still might not be happy with your composition. Then you need to maintain your weight but work on paying attention to your daily intakes like carbs and sugars and fats if you dont already! I wasnt happy with my bodyfat percentage when I reached my goal so I changed a few things and got down to where I wanted, now its just maintain maintain maintain. Know that you will have your normal bad scale days, but its not like when you were 20-30-50-100 lbs away from your goal! Now its just 3-4 lbs.
  • pfenixa
    pfenixa Posts: 194 Member
    I've been thinking about this lately since I'm so close to my goal. Like right now I feel pretty good about where I've gotten. I do have some pooch and thighs I'd like to lose so I think continuing down to 116 is a safe bet. I'm about 5'2" and my goal is based on what I weighed in high school and to make an even 50 lb loss. I'm going to wait until I dead on hit my goal before I make any decisions to go lower. I don't want weight loss to become some kind of obsession that I'll never be done with and I also don't want to lose some of my curves! If bones start poking out then there's a problem. :laugh:
  • rachel5576
    rachel5576 Posts: 429 Member
    well my goal right now is 110lbs but i also have a very small frame and im about 5'3 as i get closer to my goal less than 10 pounds to go!!! I'm thinking maybe 105 might be better. i really dont care what i weigh more how i look so if i do get to 105 and decide i need to gain ten pounds of muscle so be it.

    Hmm, we are the same height, build, and probably the same weight, and I'm thinking to adjust my goal of 118 to 115 or 110, now you're saying 105 and it has me thinking. But i am already pretty muscular and I'd have no curves left i think, plus if my ribs stick out anymore I'll hate it. As it is I might have to consider a boob job! See, reading your goal helped me because I now feel more cemented to the idea of 110-118 :flowerforyou:

    Zanniew, what a great story! Congratulations on your survival and successful weight loss!

    Skinnytime, that's a great answer. In fact I think about the thin quote sometimes. But I guess I like to hear "how did you know he/she was the one?" stories as well :tongue:

    Well i think the weight thing is pretty personal. The reason my first goal was/is 110 is because that is what i have always weighed since highschool and before four kids without exercising. I've lost a ton of muscle so im working on getting that and burning this fat that i have (mostly in the middle lol). When i was really active and super fit i was somewhere between 100-105. Like i said im basing my goals on how i feel about my body. I have friends who are my height and weigh alot more and look great. so i guess you'll just know;) Good luck!
  • suckitup
    suckitup Posts: 95 Member
    I set my first "I'll be happy" goal at 5'8" was 160. After hitting that, I dropped it to 150, and now I'm working on 145. That would place me right smack in the center of a healthy BMI. I'm not trying to weigh my lightest, or even my weight in college while playing soccer. I am no longer that person. If I can hit 145, I will only focus on the c-section area since it has been the shrinking, but still hanging on for dear life! :angry: I do not agree with the "you'll know" theory...for me...only b/c I've seen friends go too far and I fear I might too. I had to put a number on it so I'll stop. I went to maintain on calories once already and quickly gained two pounds, so the worry is there for me. (that's when I picked 145 for the BMI)

    I hope people that have reached their final goals will post how they are maintaining. It seems like most people are very close, but still working to get somewhere. Good luck to all of you!
  • gibbsgirl
    gibbsgirl Posts: 72 Member
    My first goal was 135 and once I hit that, I put it down to 130. But I decided to change my goal from 2 pounds a week to 1 pound a week and it put me up to 1480 cals a day instead of 1200 cals a day. I decided that I'm pretty happy with my size, but I wanna tone up some, so I am seriously upping my workouts instead of focusing on losing weight now.
  • DeeDeeLHF
    DeeDeeLHF Posts: 2,301 Member
    Thanks for posting this! I really appreciated hearing what everyone had to say.

    I am also 5'ft almost 2 inches. I am 46 years old and the mother to 5. I post these numbers because they all play a part of what I think my goal weight should be.

    At my skinniest adult weight I was 102....that was 20 years ago and I stopped menstruating and was unable to conceive again. I focused on gaining some weight and at 112 I was able to conceive our second child.

    So, I know that 102 is out! But 112-115 sure seems nice. Here is the rub though...my husband is telling me not to lose too much more. Everyone tells me I look amazing. My mom thinks that there is something wrong...(she sends me articles about people being addicted to exercise, LOL) A friend at church that I haven't seen in a couple of months asked if I was OK. She said that I looked great but wanted to be sure that the weight loss was intentional and not because I had been sick.

    So, my current goal is120 even though plenty of people tell me I should be happy at 125. (I am currently between 125-127 depending on the day and time)


    I want to feel firmer! Strength Training seems to be the only way to cope with that though.

    I am going to keep going for a little while longer.

    And to answer your other question....YES, I want a couple of pounds wiggle room....Maybe 120 is my goal and that I never want to be above 125.

    Best of luck.

    D

    PS...for those of us who are "older" it is true that when "skinny" people get sick, they die easier. It is healthy after a certain age to have a little extra. (I have no scientific proof of this, just my experience as a nurse.) Healthy is the key! Not top-model!
  • cutmd
    cutmd Posts: 1,168 Member
    Wow, D, you are doing fantastic! Congrats on your weight loss and on looking amazing after 5 kids!!!!

    My mother was also the first to get concerned, you can always count on them to look out for you :smile:

    I decided to take some progress pics in a bikini and saw a lot of rib, so I decided to focus on maintaining and thinking this week. I have been 117.5-119 for the last few days. 118 was my goal but I'd rather be able to police it (be 115-118 and when I creep over that start cracking the whip). I do have a good amount of muscle and my body fat is low, so I shouldn't care what I weight, but it is nice to be able to give a low weight when asked :laugh:

    I suppose we can always regain, but I think that would be tough on my psyche :noway:
  • lew826
    lew826 Posts: 6 Member
    Thanks for posting this! I really appreciate everyone's personal experiences. Congratulations to everyone for being so close to their goals!
  • fudJy23
    fudJy23 Posts: 87 Member
    I'm 5'6" and I started around 168. (just started here). I'm goal is to get down to around 145-150. When I get down there, I'll be paying more attention to my body fat %. My aim for body fat % is around 22%. In my early to mid twenties when I was between 140-145, I was probably at my fittest and lowest body fat % (around 22%) but I don't think 140 is realistic for me anymore so I'm aiming for 145-150, probably closer to the 150 side.

    but I'm never done. I know from experience in the past that the minute I stop tracking calories (usually when I hit my goal), I lose control and let myself slip.
  • rose1617
    rose1617 Posts: 469 Member
    5'4" and my goal weight is 130.
    In college, I was 115-120 and looked really good. I also felt really good, but I'm 7 years older now and that may not be realistic.
    My idea now is to get down to 130 and see what happens. I'm weight training and doing cardio, so I want to see how my body looks and then reassess.
    If I think I could afford to lose more, I'll do it 5 lbs. at a time. I have a friend who is 5'9" and 120 and is cut! She looks really good! But that may not be a healthy or realistic goal for me, so I'll just wait and see.
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