Day Two - Fell off the Wagon all ready

BabyD74
BabyD74 Posts: 5
edited September 21 in Introduce Yourself
I really want to do this, I just cant stay focused. I hate to eat alone and I really enjoy eating with my husband. But hes thin, and im fat! I cant eat what he eats and I cant eat how he eats. Ive gotta find a way to enjoy my new eating habits with my old eating buddy.

Replies

  • ChristieisReady
    ChristieisReady Posts: 708 Member
    I make "altered" dishes for me and my guy. Say I'm making spaghetti: it's noodles for him and spaghetti squash for me. Tortilla soup: no cheese and easy on the chips. Generally I get a slightly smaller portion of meat than him, about half to a third of the carbs and TWICE the veggies. So, we eat together, I make 1 dish, but we have very different meals. And I don't have to give up the company of my favorite person.
  • SouthernBell86
    SouthernBell86 Posts: 275 Member
    Have you talked to your husband about this? Maybe he'd be willing to eat the things you eat in larger quantities, plus other things after your meal together.

    And really, don't view it as a wagon, that you are going to get off of one day when things are better. Just think of it as a totally new direction you are going in. If you want to keep the weight off, you have got to make it a lifestyle change! If you're going to do that, you need support from friends and family, so talk to your husband about why you need to do this, and ways he can help you :)
  • jamie1888
    jamie1888 Posts: 1,704 Member
    I found it was only hard for me to eat with my husband when I wasn't totally committed and ready to make a change in my life. Once I got serious, it was no longer difficult. I prepare our meals and cook healthy for both of us. Just because your husband is thin, doesn't mean he can't eat healthy.

    I cook lean proteins, lots of veggies (which I eat), and I'll just add some carb source for him.. potato, rice, etc. If I want a carb, I'll make brown rice, quinoa or farro. If you prepare nice, healthy meals that you enjoy eating, you wont be concerned with what you are not eating. I have learned to love veggies and just fill up on those when I want to eat a lot!
  • Shawna35
    Shawna35 Posts: 65
    I second the idea of making healthy meals that you both can share. Just because he is "thin" doesn't mean he should eat unhealthy foods! If you are doing the cooking, then make some meals that include lean meats and lots of veggies. If he wants a carb, make some brown rice or potato.
  • jeanineadele
    jeanineadele Posts: 114
    I have a similar situation with my 14 year old son. He has started eating a lot healthier since I started this program. Only thing is I try to make the meals interesting and fun. I wanted him to eat Salmon so I falked and layered it onto a sweet potato. I wanted him to eat blueberries so I add them to fruit smoothies or over the tiniest piece of cheesecake you ever saw. I think the thing that keeps me on track is desire, planning and routine.

    When my grandaughters came to spend a week with me I could not diet at all. It was just to hard to keep up the work it takes to do this.
  • iowabelle
    iowabelle Posts: 38
    It's okay, BabyD. Think of it like an experiment, and not ALL experiments work. That's how you learn. How do you fix went wrong with today?

    Don't be so hard on yourself.

    And, if your husband has bad habits, he might be getting bad cholesterol, setting himself up for a weight problem, etc. So just because he's thin now doesn't mean he always will be thin and in good health. He might need to make some changes and join with you (just in larger quantities since he's male).
  • FoamyRiver
    FoamyRiver Posts: 276 Member
    So you "fell off the wagon", just start over, right now! :) And remember we're all here to support you!!!

    I got in the habit of eating what my husband ate and how much he ate when we first got married 14 years ago. He's almost a foot taller than I am so I quickly packed on the pounds. I've lost and gained weight many times over the years but I've tried to adopted some healthier habits that work for both of us.

    I buy whole wheat pasta and brown rice, fat free milk rather than 1%, lower fat peanut butter, etc. Another thing I do is I use a smaller plate than my husband's...my plate is full but I'm not tempted to put as much on it as I put on his.
  • Xenopha
    Xenopha Posts: 6 Member
    I struggle with my boyfriend on this constantly. I love him to death and he loves me a lot too, but when it comes to eating healthy, he doesn't quite get it. He is also an emotional eater. A bad day is a justification to eat a pint of ice-cream. Something I take a great deal of pride in is my skill in the kitchen, even when preparing healthy foods. The problem becomes portion control. He hates vigorous physical activity because he can't stand being sweaty.

    It's a constant struggle with him, partially because he has very specific expectations about food and the role it plays in our lives. He doesn't see food as a source of nutrition that can taste good. He sees food as sensory indulgence intended to improve the quality of his day. It's a very different attitude and when you are trying to loose weight its an attitude that really works against you.

    What I would recommend is trying to talk with him about your concerns and why you want to loose weight. People will tell you not to pull the, "If you love me card..." but think of it like this. Relationships are like team work, you have to be there for each other. One thing I had to point out to my boyfriend is that if he still wants me to be around 30 years from now and not dead of a heart attack or diabetes he has to at least meet me half way.

    One compromise I want to try with my boyfriend when he gets back is having a date night where calories don't count. This doesn't mean we will go totally nuts, but we can indulge a little. Right now we are doing the long distance thing while he attends college in our home state (I work in NJ as a consultant) and I wanna make him a homemade pizza with ice cream for desert. Since I am making everything at home I have more control over how it is prepared and so I can minimize the most harmful stuff.

    However, don't stop encouraging him to support you in your goal. Just keep reminding him of how much he will like the thinner, healthier, happier you...and if he is one of those (*&#$(*&#$ who dates fat chicks because he needs a woman with low self-esteem to control and manipulate and so he wants to keep you fat dump his *kitten* and get a battery-operated-boyfriend.
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