I'm doing good... except when my boyfriend is around....??

Do you find it difficult to ask for help? If approached right I bet your boyfriend could be helping you. I am a private person, but I had to get over that to be successful. You need a support group. And those closest are the most valuable. Good luck.

Yes I have told him what is going on and told him I "eat my emotions". I don't think he knows how to help me. Would you have any idea as to where to start looking for a support group?

Be specific in how he can help. Could we only have healthy food in the home, including snacks. Or if he needs something in the house make is something you don't crave. I got my husband a pedometer so we could compete for steps. We got creative in what we do in the evening. This time has less to do about tv and food and more to do with going for walks and exploring new place. I am afraid with guys you have to be specific and gratefull, appreciating every effort they make.

The thing is he is healthy. We are an odd couple.. He is 175 and me ehhh not so much ... He loves me reguardless he says but I want him to want me to be healthy, if that makes sence...

First, let me say that just because he says he loves you regardless of your weight doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't want you to be healthy. I'm sure he does. But think about it for a minute from his side....if you are talking about losing weight, etc, with him, he might be afraid that if he says something agreeing with you that you need to lose weight, that you might take it as him saying you're fat. Guys are really wary about the subject of their girl's weight. They see anything having to do with our weight as the typical "do these jeans make me look fat" questions, that in their experiences, never turn out good. And as for eating your emotions, from what I've seen, not a whole lot of guys even understand this because the majority of people who do this are women. Guys hear the word "emotions" from a girl, and are instantly lost. lol

Secondly, reading your posts has been like looking into my life. There are so many similarities, especially the part I quoted, and that you and I both eat when we're emotional. My man is 175 or so, and I'm not either... He loves me how I am, but I want change for me. I've been the fat girl pretty much my whole life, and I want the outside to match what I feel is on the inside.
I don't know of any other sites to tell you, I just found this one today, but if at any time you need someone to talk to, I'm here for ya. Maybe we can help support each other through this, since there are so many similarities, we're likely to encounter some of the same issues.

One thing I know, is that if he's a junk-food-aholic like my man, he won't take it lightly if you ask to have only healthy food in the house. If I said that, he would hear it as me telling him he's going to starve, because he refers to healthy food as "rabbit food". lol

Feel free to add me as a friend, and contact me anytime. I'd love to help if I can.

Kami

oh yeah, sorry this is so long

It's almost a curse for us to have to live with their great metabolism, isn't it?
The more you write, the more I'm starting to wonder if I've found my doppelganger LOL. They say everyone has one....

I have the same problems with dinner time. I think it has to do with the fact that we cook for them, and so we cook what THEY want. One thing I've done before, that I should probably do more often, is I've started my dinner with a small salad, and then had a much smaller portion of whatever it is that I've cooked. That way, the majority of what I ate was healthy, but I still could have the same thing everyone else was eating as well.

I don't know if this is true in your case, but maybe... I know I've dealt with it.

Have you ever felt that people look at you and judge you more when you're eating healthy vs eating what everyone else eats? Fat people tend to have to deal with people looking at them for eating anything at all, whether it's healthy or not, I know. But I've noticed that they sometimes judge you or make fun of ya more when you're trying to eat healthy, because it shows to them you're not happy with your body since you're trying to change it, and that opens up your vulnerability to them. Is it possible that you have a harder time controlling what you're eating when he's around because of this? Like, 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do', 'when with the skinny bf, do as the bf does'. I know you said you've discussed your problems with your boyfriend, so I don't think you're worried so much about being vulnerable around him, but maybe subconsciously?

It could also be that we're so comfortable with them, and in trying to take care of them, we focus on them when they're home, and forget about us.... this happens with me a lot also.

my boyfriend was the same way until he gained weight and started noticing his pants didnt fit the way they used so i told him why dont we both eat good and exercise together!! duh right . but before that i started on my own working my *kitten* off whether he wanted to partake or not. i let him know that this is what i need to do for myself and if he want s to help great if not than make ur own food lol. I always cook w lots of veggies in a good protein or whole wheat pastas and tomato sauces etc. then he became more into cooking w me and we started trying different veggies to eat etc. its a process things are not going to change over night just stick with and eventually he might want be apart of it too, but if not u need to realize this is for u and how u want to feel. u eat differently when hes around prolly cuz u know hes gonna love u no matter what thats how feel when i eat more or bad when hes around like ehhh he loves me anyways hes not going anywhere.... ooh hot dog, but it is a turkey dog w a whole wheat bun! lol so u can eat junk like foods also if u put a healthy spin on it i learned that with all the bbqs this summer that was freaking hard!! try substituting those junk types of food w healthier options so it doesnt seem like ur eating rabbit food all the time. pizza get w whole wheat crust n tons of veggies. burgers do lean beef or lean turkey n wheat buns no mayo n pile on the veggies too bake potatoes that r cut into steak fries so theyre not deep fried etc theres alot of things u can do. go online look at healthy recipes for the foods u like and it will get way easier and then u will get more creative w ur cooking too.

I do really well with eating healthy during the week (try to exercise as often as I can too) but on the weekends when my boyfriend is around me a lot more, we eat out at restaurants a lot and I lose control of my eating habits. I feel like I have lost control now of my weight - I have just been gaining and gaining. I know the obvious answer is exercise and eat right, but it is extremely difficult when he is around and he has no desire to lose weight. What do you think I should do? I am going to try to eat the best possible on weekdays and do all of my workouts during the week, but I just don't want to ruin all of my hard work every single weekend....

Oo Oo Oo Me too! Me too! lol I have one of those at home. Very supportive, loves me no matter what size... yada yada yada. Mine weighs 180 and keeps saying he is fat. He has no interest in losing weight. He has gained 20 lbs in the 3 years we have lived together. I keep offering to stop cooking and he can go back to getting his work meals where ever he finds them.... his reply is always " no 'f-ing' way". Mine however does not eat vegies except potatoes, corn on the cob and orange glazed carrots. Once in a while a salad drenched (soup like) in dressing. He will occasionally eat applesauce, but no other fruits. While he gained 20, I gained 40. Go figure.

Since I started MFP I usually make one "meat" dish and separate sides for both of us. Tonight he had cheese tortollini and italian sausage while I had spaghetti squash and baked chicken breast, both of us had the home made spaghetti sauce. We both have leftovers for tomorrow. I make him something to take to work for lunch most days, and fix mine as I need them (at home doing school online).

Do what you gotta do! Find a way to work around em!