Relationships

2

Replies

  • 1PatientBear
    1PatientBear Posts: 2,089 Member
    When we've had more than two serious conversations about whatever the issue is and still nothing has changed. At that point, it's never gonna.

    People stay in relationships that make them unhappy because they fear change. Life is too short for that, it really is.

    Agree. I'm going through a divorce right now for exactly the reasons above.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    When you're unhappy.
  • m76b
    m76b Posts: 1,498 Member
    When you're unhappy.

    THIS
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    After 1.64 days without sex.
  • minijag06
    minijag06 Posts: 70
    If he is a liar and a cheat, let him go.
  • socajam
    socajam Posts: 2,530 Member
    When I was married....my best friend at the time told me:

    When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired...you will leave!

    I was in an abusive relationship. I remember all these women getting killed here by their men. I still remember my wake up moment. He had hit me and I was lying on the floor. We were in the process of packing and moving. I looked up and saw a bed rail. Thought OMG if he would hit me with that I would be dead.

    At that moment I said this SOB is NOT killing me. So I took my baby and I left. NEVER LOOKED BACK!


    Same thing happened to me and I never looked back.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    when i'm tired, exhausted, and have nothing left to give.

    smarter people would leave earlier than that, but that is my experience. i leave when the fights don't even upset me anymore, because they're normal, because the frustration, doubt, broken trust, is all normal.
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
    If you don't have kids with this man and you have doubts, get out. It's so much easier to do so before having kids.

    If you already have kids, then seek counseling if it's something you both are committed to fixing.

    If it's something like abuse (physical or verbal), then talk to a professional who can guide you out safely, step-by-step.

    If it's something you can fix and you love each other, try couples counseling.
  • lripson28
    lripson28 Posts: 213 Member
    When you feel the need to ask that question?
    Seriously it all depends on the situation, what's not working and if you think the issues are fixable or they will always be a road block.

    This. If you even consider whether or not you are truly happy, I think that is when it could be time to call it quits.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    2 things need to be happening to continue working on a relationship that makes you unhappy:

    1. COMMUNICATION. are the two of you communicating about the emotional needs that are currently lacking for each of you in the relationship?

    2. ACTION. assuming the two of you have shared what is bothering each other, are each of you making efforts to satisfy the emotional needs of the other party that were not being met. It takes both of you to put in the work. If only one of you is putting in the work, its time to move on.

    the amount of time that you give to the communication/action paradigm depends on whether you are unmarried, married without kids, or married with kids.... I think, as you move along that spectrum, you give things a little more time and more effort to see if you can reach a resolution. However, I can tell you from personal experience as someone who did not want to get divorced and break up my family, there does come a time when you get tired of being the only one trying to meet the other's emotional needs. BUT, if you're not married and do not have kids, the saying "life is too short" applies. Give communication/action some time, but move on once it becomes clear that the other person isn't trying OR you don't have the desire to continue trying.
  • abheshek
    abheshek Posts: 525 Member
    move on from what ? :bigsmile:
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    Any or all of these answers:
    - when you feel it has cost you too much of yourself or your dreams to maintain this relationship.
    - when you get more trouble than enjoyment from the relationship
    - when you are standing in someone else's way of happiness (whether they realize it or not)
    - when someone else is standing in your way of happiness
    - when you realize you have very mismatched goals for life
    - when you no longer love this person the way they should be loved
    - when you don't feel you're being loved the way you should be loved
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    At what point do you stop trying, and move on?

    When you've licked the last bit of icing from the fork, when the plate is so clean that the dog won't even lick it, then it's time to move on.... to the next cake!


    Oh, for people? When you don't value the relationship. It's worth fixing when you value the other person still.
  • djsupreme6
    djsupreme6 Posts: 1,210 Member
    the point where it doesn't flow and it seems like work
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    I knew I was ready for a divorce when I would start fantasizing about my husband dying in a car accident. He's a real friggin' jerk.
  • Kpablo
    Kpablo Posts: 355 Member
    You never stop trying. You don't ever completely move on.

    At some point though, you break up.

    wrong. you stop trying, and you move on emotionally then break up.
  • butterflyluv1218
    butterflyluv1218 Posts: 430
    When we've had more than two serious conversations about whatever the issue is and still nothing has changed. At that point, it's never gonna.

    People stay in relationships that make them unhappy because they fear change. Life is too short for that, it really is.

    This is so true and is my relationship right now. Oh and "for the kids".
  • CountingCaloriesSuxass
    CountingCaloriesSuxass Posts: 387 Member
    when the other person gets fat.
  • ReNewYou
    ReNewYou Posts: 49
    Some people say “Oh a relationship should be so easy" this is crap. For any relationship to work (marriage, friend, parent/child) it requires work. You must be validating, trusting, open, and honest. You must work to find common ground but never give until you are angry. Your anger should be your guide as to how far and what you will comprise on. You must always maintain your autonomy (sense of self) for once you lose that you start to build bitterness. As for those who say once you lose the "butterflies in your stomach” That is a very poor judge of a relationship, for who wants to be always nervous around their partner. But in the end it comes down to you, you are the only one who can make that call. Good luck and I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
  • WhyeatKachra
    WhyeatKachra Posts: 404 Member
    When you know what bound you two at first place isn't there anymore. When you are by his/her side and all you do is go back on how things were... you miss them despite being with them. It's time to move out.
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
    Immediately if there is lying, drugs, abuse, or cheating.

    When you determine that you are not compatible in what you want in life - for example one wants marriage or kids and the other doesn't.

    I knew for sure when I would pull up to the house in my car and see he was home and not even want to go inside.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,323 Member
    i need more answers people. LOL

    the level of crap that people will put up with varies from individual to individual.

    we need some info too...
    how long have you been dealing with this?
    what exactly are you dealing with?

    details yo!
  • CountingCaloriesSuxass
    CountingCaloriesSuxass Posts: 387 Member
    i need more answers people. LOL

    the level of crap that people will put up with varies from individual to individual.

    we need some info too...
    how long have you been dealing with this?
    what exactly are you dealing with?

    details yo!

    excatly..like you put up with alot of my crap
  • MaydayParadeGirl
    MaydayParadeGirl Posts: 190 Member
    When you have to ask perfect strangers advice on it on the internet is probably a pretty good indicator. You should always try adn talk it out with them first, unless the desire to make it work really isn't there, then you usually look for other people to tell you what to do.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    When you realize there is not point in continuing to try.
    When you are happier not spending time with that person.
  • SStruthers13
    SStruthers13 Posts: 150 Member
    When you have done all you can, it still isn't working and your miserable.
    When they aren't trying.
    When abuse is involved. (physical, mental or emotional. lying and cheating is abuse)
    When it is emotionally painful.
    When they are an unrepentant loser or living off of you.
    When you no longer love the person.
  • Hexahedra
    Hexahedra Posts: 894 Member
    Relationship is work. There's no point of continuing if the other person refuses to put effort into it anymore.
  • Bettysnyder75
    Bettysnyder75 Posts: 2
    I just wonder if people really put the amount of work/effort/dedication/determination into their relationships/marriages as they do their workouts(pertaining to this site)---would even be having this conversation.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Are you talking about friends, co-workers, or romantic/lovers/spouses relationships? Huge difference.
  • tryp66
    tryp66 Posts: 2
    .

Categories