BATTLE OF THE SCALES...Old vs. New

Yes, this really happened. Enjoy!

Many of you know that I have been dealing with a scale that my hubbie even called DEMON POSSESSED. Despite moving it from room to room, feeding it new batteries several times and even stepping on it BACKWARDS, this fickle scale would give me outrageous readings. Those morning weight ins would often be 1 to almost 2 pounds difference within the same minute. 'That beast' gave me no reason to believe in the numbers on that brightly lit scale.

I prayed over it, threatened it, nearly tossed it into the trash can one day and finally made up my mind to...REPLACE IT.

After careful research, I discovered what is supposed to be one of the best, most accurate scales available...short of those stand up monsters in the doctor's office. Yes, I ordered a brand new Eat Smart Precision Digital Bathroom Scale with a glass top. This was the heavy duty, elegant replacement for the evil white scale with the nasty attitude.

The champion arrived yesterday in the mail. As soon as Ed and I figured out the proper alignment of the batteries and got the new device calibrated 'for accuracy', it was placed on the kitchen floor beside 'my nemesis'...the evil one.

You could feel the tension in the air as Ed stepped on the new scale. He noted his weight, stepped off and mounted 'the fickle beast'. Of course, it said that he weighed less. The stupid scale would do anything to please Ed. I had seen that in the past. Ed had to concede that the new scale was probably giving him the more accurate number; but of course, the beast made him happier.

Now, it was my turn. The new scale gave me a reading that was accurate, though 0.2 pounds higher than my morning weight that had been taken on the old scale. Just for pure meanness, the old scale decided to match that number. I stared down at both the scales and thought but didn't say it out loud..."I will see you both tomorrow morning for BATTLE OF THE SCALES." I looked at the old scale and said out loud, "One of you is history, and I think that we both know who that will be."

It gave me pleasure to turn my back on that nasty, mechanical tormentor and walk from the room...leaving the monster plenty of time to consider its fate. Will it end up in Ed's bathroom...the best hope for the demon? Will it be put on an upper shelf in a dark corner...to rust and die? Or...will it be gutted of its batteries, before it is tossed unceremoniously into the trash can and buried in a trash heap in the desert somewhere to rust and decay?

The morning came. I went to the kitchen with my dog as the only spectator. I stripping down for the naked weigh in and greeted the contenders. Showing respect to the bright, new, glass top champion...I stood on that scale first. It registered 219.2 pounds. Sad. That is 0.2 pounds higher than my weight, recorded by 'the beast' on the previous morning. I stepped on the new scale a second time. No change. Oh, well. At least, I know the truth.

Now, I face the creature who has been tormenting me for more than 6 months with it's constant mood swings from good to bad to ridiculous. Today, it's time had come. I tapped the scale with my foot which caused the 3 little zeros to light up and dance. Then, the 0.0 showed on the face plate. That's when I gave it my full weight. The number flashed and finally settled down.

"You've got to be kidding me!!!" That scale said that I weighed 218.0 pounds. "WHEN PIGS FLY!!! I did NOT lose 1 pound since yesterday morning.", I yelled at the scale.

This was obviously a last, desperate attempt to win my favor. The beast knew that it had to do something to tempt me...to win me over...to lie big enough that I might just keep it around...because I liked that number better than my true weight which showed on the new scale.

That's when I got back on the beast and said, "Show me my TRUE weight...NOW!" The numbers flashed again, but this time they stopped at 219.2 pounds. The old scale conceded the fight. It knew the battle had gone to the newer, bigger, more accurate scale.

Long live the Champion! :happy:

As for 'the beast', it will have to beg for a home with Ed. I will no longer strip down in the morning and let that creature play it's nasty games with me. I have cast out that demon from my life...never to return.

*****

Some folks may asked why I put this post into the Motivation and Support section. That simple. We all can be a little bit crazy about our weights and let the scale determine our mood. I know that I am not alone in my obsession and craziness. I know that I am not the only person who talks to 'the beast' at our feet.

If you can relate to this...to laugh at this...to just find some joy in reading this, then maybe I have helped you to feel better about yourself. We are all human. We all are concerned about our weight and often let the numbers control our moods. If this crazy, old lady can survive more than 6 months of torment with a demoned possessed scale and still lose 52 pounds...so can you.

I hope for your sake that your scale is not like 'the beast'; but if it is...just read this story of the BATTLE OF THE SCALES to your 'beast'. Then, look it squarely in the face plate and say, "Are you ready to tell me the truth, NOW!" :laugh:

By the way...Here is a picture of this mornings contenders.



And here is 'the beast' in his final attempt to win me over.

:noway: