How much before people begin to notice???

jendykstra67
jendykstra67 Posts: 252 Member
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
I'm wondering how much weight did you lose before people began to notice it? I've lost 18 pounds (10 with mfp, 8 before that) and I'm wearing 1-2 sizes smaller clothes. But still, nobody has said a word about it to me. Of course I'm not losing weight in order to get compliments from other people. But really, it would be nice if even ONE person noticed the results of all my hard work!

I guess this came up for me, because my parents and siblings were here this weekend. I haven't seen them since pre-weight loss, so I expected somebody to say something about how different I look. My family is aware that I'm trying to lose weight, but they didn't say anything about it. I know this sounds like I'm being really vain, but I'm seriously not like that. I guess I could just use a little external motivation from close family or friends sometimes.

Jen

Replies

  • Dont be discouraged that your not getting noticed yet... It will come. What matters is that you know that you've lost and that you feel good about it. The recognition will come with time, just keep up the good work and the compliments will be here before you know it!!!!! Keep up the good work :)
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
    No one has noticed mine either, I would like to think it was done too slowly to notice. Suppose its different for everyone, how much weight you have to lose, where it comes off from. At least we still have that day to look forward too.
  • Mentioning weightloss, even when you know someone is trying is one of those touchy subjects. Some people, even family are afraid of offending if they mention it. Assume that they noticed but were afraid of saying something, not realizing that you've been working hard and were looking for some positive reinforcement.
  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
    Most people don't seem to notice until it is 25 or 30 pounds, but of course it totally depends on the person because we all carry our weight differently.
    I had a few people mention something but at 24 pounds the response from everyone was overwhelming!
  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
    At 5'5", it apparently takes more than 19 pounds...... or my coworkers are particularly unobservant....
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    I'd like to start off on a slightly different track:

    Of course we are losing weight for ourselves - the be healthier, feel better and be happy. But that doesn't mean you should ever feel any shame in wanting other people to notice! Getting compliments is good reinforcement and feedback. It's not wrong to feel good about yourself and want other people to think you look great too. It's natural, it's human, it's fine.

    What you may not realize is these people probably have a lot of stuff going on with them too! Maybe one of them got a mole removed and they were sad that you didn't notice. Or someone got a nose job and no one has said anything about it either! The best way to get the recognition is to be up front about it! Tell people "Yay! I'm down 18 lbs!" and everyone will be more than happy to celebrate with you! They'll look closer and see that you are thinner, and your skin is clearer and you just look more vibrant!

    Tell people what to look for and they'll find it :)

    On that note - super congrats on the 18 lbs!!!
  • abaerny
    abaerny Posts: 10 Member
    Jen, I was wondering the same thing. The women at my gym seem to notice but my family wasn't saying anything. My sister was here for the weekend and has not seen me for awhile. I have lost almost 40 and she did not say anything. So I finally just mentioned that I was working out more and was on a calorie plan. She then said " I wanted to say how good you were looking but I was not sure if I should". This might be the same as your family. But when it comes down to it the only person who really matters is you and if you are feeling better and can notice the difference then that is great. In my case I still have another 60 to go so I think it is not as noticeable as it will be my the time I hit my goal. Just stay focused and know we are all her to support each other.

    Adrienne
  • I totally agree weight loss is one of those things that you just dont bring up unless you sure... In my experience it was between 15-20 lbs that it was noticed. But again, everyones body is different and you lose from different places...
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
    Today my dad of all people noticed. I've lost 20 pounds now. So I think your time is soon. I wonder if people don't say anything because if like me you have gained and lost the same 15 pounds a few times. It's like they are hold their breath to see if you get out of the cycle first. But 18 pounds is success. It took me 4 months to do that. Great Job, Great Effort, Great progress be proud of yourself you have earned a pat on the back and I think soon people will start paying attention. New cloths help too, sometimes the old cloths are big on us and don't hide the changes. Any reason to shop, you deserve a new outfit.
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    Also, there are two other observations

    If they don't see you often they may just remember you skinnier than your start weight so now you look normal as opposed to being shocked that you're bigger than they remember...

    Or if they see you frequently that nothing really drastically noticeable has happened over night. We get to see ourselves naked in a mirror, so all of these changes are easily noted by us. :)
  • baldric1331
    baldric1331 Posts: 30 Member
    i got noticed by my other half with a comment of how my tops fit me but i did have to drop the hint to her about it rofl
  • MaureenH39
    MaureenH39 Posts: 315 Member
    About 4 years ago I had lost some weight and felt like nobody was ever going to notice..when I hit 23 pounds my boss finally said "Have you lost weight?" I said "yes" then she said "Yeah...you have lost A LOT actually, haven't you?" I told her 23 pounds. It is funny because I have lost 10lb now and I notice a significant difference but I guess nobody else does.
  • islandnutshel
    islandnutshel Posts: 1,143 Member
    One other thought. Two guys mentioned it to my husband and even though I know them well, they said nothing to me. Dangerous topic for guys, they get scared to enter that topic.
  • megamom
    megamom Posts: 920 Member
    I just started back to work after being off for 6 weeks. I have only lost about 5 pounds since then but maybe more inches because when I got back almost everyone said something about my weight loss. With the 8 pounds before I started here that would be a total of 43 pounds, LOL. Maybe my tan makes me look thinner.:laugh:
  • KimbersNewLife
    KimbersNewLife Posts: 646 Member
    Oh my Gosh I know what you mean I have lost 35lbs.....I lost 11 before MFP and 24 after signing up and let me tell you it makes me mad! I look so different like I lost half of me!!!! Everytime I see my in laws I am like are you stupid blind or just plain mean I know they notice the are obsessed with weight all they ever talk about is how fat or how thin people are. It infurriates me!! I did have a close friend finally say something today and you know what she told me "She didnt want to embarrass me" So you never know people may notice and just be afraid to say. Like if they said "OH my where did the rest of you go" or "wow you were huge what happened?" they are probably afraid they will hurt your feelings.
  • Sumatra
    Sumatra Posts: 181
    I've just reached 20 lbs and I've just gotten comments within the past few pounds (other than my sweet husband who tells me he can tell all the time). I'm 6'1" tall though, so it takes more weight loss for it to be noticeable on me. Were you wearing baggy clothes were maybe it wasn't really obvious? Or maybe they didn't want to draw attention to it for some reason? I know some people don't like those comments because it draws attention to the fact that they used to be bigger and they are embarrassed by that.
    Try not to let it bother you. If you are wearing two sizes smaller, that is AWESOME!!! Just keep up the good work!

    By the way, i LOVE your goal of running with your daughters! Excellent goal!!!
  • CGerman
    CGerman Posts: 539
    Seems like I heard before people will start to notice when you've lost 10% of your starting weight - not sure how true that is. I'm sure some depends on how you carry the weight, if you carried it pretty well it won't be obvious until you've lost quite a bit. I agree with some other posts though, sometimes people don't say anything to avoid hurt feelings - weight is a touchy subject.
  • sublimechik28
    sublimechik28 Posts: 74 Member
    after like 20 lbs people noticed for sure but most of the time it started off " if you dont mind me asking,"or
    "not to offend you, have you lost weight?" then i would smile and say yup and say how much then they ask what you did n how you did it etc. some people dont ask bc they dont want you to take as if u were so huge before or something. which i saw and i know i was so its ok offend me lol
  • Binki
    Binki Posts: 13
    Its when people that you are not as close to or haven't seen in a very long time that notice. I've has more friends make comments than my own mother, but I see her looking at me or my waist. People will notice. Keep it up!
  • The topic of weight loss and weight gain is a very tricky one. In our weight obsessed society, everyone has an opinion. I would rather not hear anything, one way or the other. It is such a sensitive subject for me, with all kinds of emotional, self-loathing, confidence issues that are tied in to my weight. I do a lot of yoga and if someone mentions that I am looking good, I always say it has to do with yoga. I guess I don't want comments when I have gained weight, so I will forgo them when I lose weight. My goal is to make peace with my body and stay healthy.
  • Steph_135
    Steph_135 Posts: 3,280 Member
    Hi there! My aunt always notices when I lose weight, but she's the only one. I, for one, have no clue whether people look like they have lost weight or not when I see them. Your family might be the same way. Don't let it get you down, and keep working hard. Sometimes I have less motivation to try hard at what I'm doing when people comment about my weight loss. :flowerforyou:
  • pinbotchick
    pinbotchick Posts: 3,904
    It was 30 pounds before they said anything. I actually started getting more compliments when I bought new clothes that were form fitting rather than cont to wear my old "baggy"clothes. After 30 pounds my old clothes were falling off me and the bagginess just hid the fact I was losing weight.
  • JoyElizabeth
    JoyElizabeth Posts: 65 Member
    Hey there,

    Another thing that can happen is that when you start doing something for yourself and you start to feel and look good, some people don't like to admit that you are being successful - it makes them feel guilty and points out to them perhaps how unsuccessful they are at applying the level of commitment that it takes to make visible change. Most people don't like feeling less than anyone else, so rather than open that can of worms, they choose not to say anything so they don't make themselves feel any worse than they already do - often this is all subconscious behaviour, and if you were to talk with them about it, they wouldn't have a clue.

    But something else that can happen is they can become so jealous of you, sometimes even getting cranky at *you* simply because you've changed - like I said, it makes them feel bad because they know they either can't or won't be able to keep up with you - your success simply shows them that change is possible and most people aren't willing to change - it's too uncomfortable for them and they know they wouldn't be able to put up with that sort of pressure before caving in.

    But that brings on something else - when you change, it can affect their perceptions of how they should interact with you and so they can sometimes withdraw because they can feel like they don't know you anymore - for example, if you no longer eat burgers, fries and take out meals, or you have limitations when you go to restaurants, they don't know how to cater for you and so it all just gets too hard for them and so they can sometimes even slowly withdraw their interactions and invitations too. Meanwhile you are left feeling that losing weight wasn't the best thing after all and so we can sabotage our success by reverting back to our old habits simply to gain the approval and acceptance of our family and friends.

    That's where it takes real courage to stand strong, holding tight to why we wanted to do this in the first place, and not letting anyone steal our dream of a strong, fit, healthy body. If you hang out where other strong, fit, healthy people hang out (like here on MFP) then new friends can be found that are more supportive and that helps you stay strong until you get the support of your family - funnily enough, when you show them how committed you are to your change, it seems they do eventually give up being alienated from you, and sometimes you even inspire them to believe that change is possible for themselves and from there you can begin to share your journey with them and they will applaud your successes because they at least have an understanding of you and what you've been going through - and sometimes this even takes your relationship with them deeper and it becomes more rewarding.

    And just one more thing, without sounding rude, maybe they are just so caught up in what's going on in their own world that it doesn't even occur to them to be mindful of your world and what's going on with you. In this case if you don't share with them and bring you excitement to their attention, it would almost be a bit silly to expect that they would even notice - having this sort of expectation would only set you up for disappointment.

    So suss them out to see what's going on with them - maybe you need to take a fresh approach to gain the well-deserved acknowledgment that is always good for your soul.

    And don't be backward about coming forward! You deserve every compliment you get - that's a terrific result and you should be proud of yourself.

    Hope this helps you to stand strong until they finally get their heads around your success. Good on you for sticking with it.

    Kind Regards,

    Joy.
    :heart: :heart: :heart: :flowerforyou: :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • jendykstra67
    jendykstra67 Posts: 252 Member
    Thanks for all the comments everybody! I hadn't thought about the fact that some people are reluctant to bring up the topic of weight loss because they're worried about offending me. And also, I have been wearing a lot of the same baggy shirts because I can't afford to buy a whole new wardrobe. So those could both be reasons why nobody has said anything.

    I'm feeling better about it today. I know I'm looking better than I was a few months ago, and I'm definately feeling a lot better. So that's really all that matters. And I get plenty of compliments and support from my friends on mfp so that helps a LOT!

    Jen :smile:
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
    People didn't start to notice until about 25lbs had been lost...But I definately noticed changes after around 18lbs.

    You will find that when you get one compliment....you will receive quite a few from then on!

    Remember, the first fat that is lost from the body is the unhealthy, but unnoticeable fat that surrounds your internal organs...once this has been successfully shifted...fat from other areas becomes targeted. I think this may answer the questions regarding people not noticing untill 25lbs plus!

    Please don't get dismayed about it....you are doing amazingly...and the compliments WILL come! :flowerforyou:
This discussion has been closed.