I had to put my cat to sleep

imagymrat
imagymrat Posts: 862 Member
So, here I am, a few hours after I had to make the decision on wether or not to put him down, the vet encouraged me, that the surgery really wouldn't help and his problems would return, so I decided to do the humane thing and put him to sleep. I feel like a complete *kitten* for doing it, it doesn't feel right, I don't feel any better knowing that he isn't in pain. I'm selfish, I want him back with me. I took out a loan agaisnt my home to pay for the surgery, I decided he was worth fighting for. I'm heartbroken, I want to make it right. The funny thing about Eddie, I diodn't want him when my oldest son, 12 at the time brought him home, wanted nothing to do with him. I was going through an awful divorce and this was cat was very important to my kids, so I let him stay. Guess what, I fell in love with him, I mean I never was a cat person, I don't really know what happened, but I looked forward to seeing him in the window when I came home from work, looked forward to having him curl up in my bed at night purring me to sleep. He's the one fellow who stuck by my side no matter what. I didn't cry this much over my cheating exhusband and the divorce that followed..how freaking crazy is that? I feel ridiculous that I feel this way, and it totally blows my mind to realize how special he really was in my life and how much I am truly going to miss him. I needed to talk about it, and really, my friends think i'm crazy for being this emotional over "a cat" well, I am, and this really sucks, and this is how I will always remember him.

A Cat's Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
The king-size bed is soft and deep...
I sleep right in the center groove
...My human can hardly move!

I've trapped her legs, she's tucked in tight
And here is where I pass the night
No one disturbs me or dares intrude
Till morning comes and "I want food!"

I sneak up slowly to begin
My nibbles on my human's chin.
She wakes up quickly, I have sharp teeth -
And my claws I will unsheath

For the morning's here and it's time to play
I always seem to get my way.
So thank you Lord for giving me
This human person that I see.

The one who hugs me and holds me tight
And sacrifices her bed at night.
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Replies

  • Jendf
    Jendf Posts: 36 Member
    Aww, I'm so so sorry for your loss :sad:
  • khskr1
    khskr1 Posts: 392
    Our pets are an extension of our families! I am so sorry for your loss.
  • Nina74
    Nina74 Posts: 470 Member
    I'm so sorry. They are such a huge part of our lives.
  • FoamyRiver
    FoamyRiver Posts: 276 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss! I've never had to make that decision but I've had pets who've passed on...and I have a cat that I didn't want but wouldn't take the world for now.

    Praying that you find comfort while you're going through this difficult time.
  • sweetn3ss
    sweetn3ss Posts: 341 Member
    I am sorry you have to go through this. I know where you are coming from. It will take some time but the tears will slow down. Hang in there!
  • : ( I am so sorry for your loss! It is a huge part of your life that is missing when a pet dies. I still miss my cat and she had to be put down 4 years ago. (she was only 4 and had an enlarged heart and "threw" a blood clot to her brain...makes me sad thinking about it) It will get better. Be strong!

    Thinking of you!
  • Ely82010
    Ely82010 Posts: 1,998 Member
    Several years ago I also had to put my cat to sleep. I think that he never kenw that he was a cat because he behaved better than all of us in the family, and he was part of all of us.

    He would "talk" to me, although I never knew what he said, and I used to think that he agreed with me and comforted me when I needed. I cried when I brought back home his limp body from the vet, and I saw my husband crying when he burried him in our back yard in a shady flower bed. I still miss my kitty and I will always remember him.

    I feel your loss.
  • johnjely
    johnjely Posts: 99
    I'm so sorry. I can sort of relate. About four years ago, there was no hope for my male cat who had stones blocking his urinary track. He left trails of blood in the house and his lower stomach became swollen to the point where it looked like he had swallowed a tennis ball, all because his urine had no way to leave his body.

    I was younger, my first or second year in high school, but it was tough. I was woken up in the middle of the night when his mom had her litter, so I saw him being born. He'd been with me since then, and saying goodbye before the doctor put him to sleep was utter torture.

    I still miss him sometimes. I'm so sorry for your loss of Eddie, and I hope you and your kids will be okay in the near future.
  • Zita_Jenn
    Zita_Jenn Posts: 252 Member
    I am so terribly sorry for your loss. It isn't easy to make these kind of decisions (pet or human). Just try to believe that you made the right choice, you didn't keep him suffering for selfish needs, you set him free to be with our creator. Eddie will always be in your hearts. Take time to grieve, like the previous poster said, cats are family as well. Hugs to you.
  • kelika71
    kelika71 Posts: 778 Member
    Nah, you're not crazy...you're human. I'm so sorry for your loss. I was like that last year with 2 of my dogs. I even cancelled the first appt. to put them out of their misery. So, how horrible was I to do that to them?! It took me a long time to get used to them not being here. Even now, I still miss them.

    Again, so sorry!!! :(
  • bonitatica
    bonitatica Posts: 34 Member
    aww i'm so sorry to hear about your cat :[ its better to express what you're feeling then keeping it bottled up so don't listen to your friends. technically your cat was your "friend" although he didn't talk back when you chatted to him, he was there no matter what

    i know what it feels like to lose a pet. my dog was bitten by a coral snake in our back yard when i was younger. now and again when i think about her i still get teary eyed. she was a great dog.

    it gets better. i know anytime anyone came up to me and said they were "sorry about your loss" i would burst into tears.

    just breathe, have a good cry.
    something i would recommend would be helping out the vet's clinic or animal shelter. sometimes cheering up another little pet who's going through a rough time might make you feel better too
  • imagymrat
    imagymrat Posts: 862 Member
    I'm so sorry. I can sort of relate. About four years ago, there was no hope for my male cat who had stones blocking his urinary track. He left trails of blood in the house and his lower stomach became swollen to the point where it looked like he had swallowed a tennis ball, all because his urine had no way to leave his body.

    I was younger, my first or second year in high school, but it was tough. I was woken up in the middle of the night when his mom had her litter, so I saw him being born. He'd been with me since then, and saying goodbye before the doctor put him to sleep was utter torture.

    I still miss him sometimes. I'm so sorry for your loss of Eddie, and I hope you and your kids will be okay in the near future.

    Oh wow, this is exactly what his problem was, blood everwhere, I though he was pooping it, turns out the crystal were completely blocking his urinary track. They would have to do extensive surgery to save him, with no guarantees. It's awful! Thanks everyone for your support, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but wow, didn't expect it to be this difficult, my teenage daughter is so angry with me, she thought I didn't give him enough of a chance, and should have paid for the surgery, she's not speaking to me, and it's just adding to my guilt, I had her there at the vet with me so he could explain there was little hope, but she's just not convinced.
  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
    pets are the best part of coming home, when I walk in the door and the dogs nub in wagging and he's just happy to see.

    it's hard letting a pet go and one that melted your heart, You did the right thing.
  • ChristieisReady
    ChristieisReady Posts: 708 Member
    I'm so sorry that you're feeling it so deeply: it just goes to show hat a big heart you have. There are very few things that are as hard as having to let a loved one go, worse when it has to be your decision, whether they have 2 legs or 4. You're not crazy. :heart:
  • mysi019
    mysi019 Posts: 55
    I am so sorry for your loss, loosing an animal is painfull. Remember though that you did all that you could and there is no more suffering. I had to put down by childhood cat about 7 years ago, my sisiters cat about a year after and just 3 months ago i put down my dads dog. It doensnt get any easier. You did a very unselfish thing letting it go. Pets are great companions and bring us so much joy and love. If i could have a million I would. Again sorry for your loss.
  • jaxatac
    jaxatac Posts: 1
    last summer, just over a year now, we lost Maxwell aka The DUDE. I went to the vet with the intention to bring him home...
    but we did not. We still miss him dearly and shed tears. Right now I am sitting next to our new crazy puppy Moose.
    You will still cry but you will be happy.

    I was given this poem by a friend and our vet.


    Rainbow Bridge

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
    When an animal dies that has been especially close to
    someone here, that pet goes to the Rainbow Bridge. There
    are meadows and hills for our special friends so they can
    run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and
    sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All of the animals who had been ill and old are restored to
    health and vigour. Those who were hurt or maimed are
    made whole again just as we remember them in our
    dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy
    and content, except for one small thing, they each miss
    someone very special to them who had to be left behind.
    Then one day comes when your pet suddenly stops and
    looks into the distance. Their eyes are intent; their eager
    body quivers. Suddenly they begin to run from the group,
    flying over the green grass, their legs carrying themselves
    faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special
    friend meet, you cling together in joyous reunion; never to
    be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face.
    Your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look
    once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long ago
    gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...
  • skywalker
    skywalker Posts: 1,533
    I'm a little choked up reading this, so DO NOT feel ridiculous for crying. Eddie became part of your family. Cats have a way of doing that. About 10 years ago I lost my cat of 21 years. From age 6 to 27 she followed me everywhere. I cried like I'd lost a child when she passed. I now have 2 who are ages 8 and 9 and I can't even think about losing them. :frown:
    I'm so sorry you had to make that decision, but it sounds like you made the "right" choice, even though it never feels like a good choice. :cry: :heart:
  • muth3rluvx2
    muth3rluvx2 Posts: 1,154 Member
    I've almost always had at least cats - and MY baby left to die several years go - I never got to say goodbye. I still cry.

    One of our cats, only a couple of years old, just recently disappeared. I try not to think about it. He was big, strong, regal and smart. I'm hoping he just chose another family/human.

    My siamese has breast cancer. I will be taking her in soon for a second surgery (I hope?) - mostly just to make her more comfortable. I can imagine the swelling from the tumors in her mammary gland can be comfortable. It probably won't be long before i have to make this decision as well. I feel lucky though, in her case. I have had time to accept it, to say goodbye, to let her know we love her and even my kids have come to terms with the idea that she won't be with us much longer.

    As far as your daughter goes, just give her time - and space. Don't bring it up - let her. She'll talk to YOU when she's ready. I get where she's coming from, too and in a way, she's right. Ideally, you would be able to go through with the surgery and hope.... and it wouldn't be until there was absolutely no options at all left that it would be okay to let Eddie go (in her eyes). But we don't live in an ideal world and during all this, Eddie would be hurting, drugged, uncomfortable and his misery prolonged.

    You did do the right thing, even though the ache is so incredibly intense right now. And I would bet anything that he is grateful for being such a responsible kitty-mommy and doing the hardest thing we could ever do, and that's to let go when we aren't ready. HE was ready, and you listened. What an absolutely selfless act! Not to mention, he got to pass knowing that he was loved, unconditionally.

    I wish I could be there to hug you and your daughter..... and I love the poem. Thank you for sharing Eddie's story and that lovely feline dedication. Now, he is forever remembered - here and in the minds and hearts of many. What a wonderful gift he's given you and your family to pass on.
  • sarahwright01
    sarahwright01 Posts: 229 Member
    I feel so sad for your loss. Our pets are a huge part of our family.

    You should tell your teenage daughter this when she is ready: God made us humans to be in charge and caretakers of his animal creations. He expects us to treat them with the respect and dignity that they deserve. Our animals which are domesticated (Cats and Dogs) do not have enough natural instincts to know when it is their time to give up. If Eddie had been a wild animal, he would have known that it was his time and that God was calling him home. (I have to believe that God allows animals in heaven ;))
    This being said, for our domesticated friends, we sometimes have to make that choice for them. It does not mean that you let him down, or that you gave up on him. The condition that he had was not a happy way for him to live life, and as his designated care taker, you had to make the proper choice. It would have been inhumane to let him continue to suffer. He is Safe now.


    You and your family are in my prayers.
  • snowowl
    snowowl Posts: 2
    I'm sorry you had to have your cat put to sleep. I don't have a cat but, I do have a mini hotdog. Her name is Maggie and she has broken her back twice and thought she was going to be put to sleep but, her doctor did accupuncture on her 3 times aday for a month both times. She now walks normal and shows no signs of ever being hurt. I hope you find another cat soon. My name is snowowl and I'm new.