Could use some motivation to eat right now

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suunflower
suunflower Posts: 36
in Motivation and Support
I'm trying to stop my disordered eating. I'm 5'10 and 114 lbs. Last year, at this time, I was 164.

MFP says just to maintain I need 1,690. But I've only been eating 1,200 at most because the irrational fear is still there.
I look pretty sickly, and it's scaring me. I don't want to lose more weight, so clearly I need to eat more. Or else I will.

I want to try to get over 1,200. But it's 10:30PM at night. I'm afraid that's too late to eat and it will throw everything off or make me gain a lot of weight? I'm not hungry either, but I don't get hungry much anymore so I schedule my eating.

I'm really confused and honestly -- scared. I'm not sure what to do.

Replies

  • Daphne1994
    Daphne1994 Posts: 32
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    Definitely eat something, eating at night is not going to make you gain a bunch of weight. eat something healthy and nutrient rich. Its important for your body to get the nutrition it needs : Good luck
  • VaingloriousVictoria
    VaingloriousVictoria Posts: 137 Member
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    Start fresh tomorrow. Have you thought about eating a little more, more often? I eat about 1200 calories a day, but I still need to lose weight.

    This would take you to 1600 calories a day, but you could start off with smaller numbers and work yourself back up. Good luck!

    Breakfast- 400 cal
    Morning snack- 200
    Lunch- 400 cal
    Afternoon snack- 200
    Dinner- 400 cal
  • Jamie_Lauren
    Jamie_Lauren Posts: 211 Member
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    Firstly - congratulations on deciding to get help for your disordered eating, you are already stronger than a lot of other people in your situation for doing that.

    It must be a scary goal for you to increase your calories, and it's hard to silence that voice that you've listened to for so long. Remember why you're doing this. If you have a doctor helping you on your journey, remember that he/she would not give you any advice that would cause you to put on a crazy amount of weight and get fat. They are there to guide you towards a healthy way of life. Keep trying by taking small steps, if you feel that you should add a few more calories into your day, eat something healthy and nutritious like some fruit or nuts.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    The "don't eat after ___pm" thing is a total myth. Eating at night won't make you gain any weight, so go eat something and enjoy it!!

    Good for you for recognizing that your eating is disordered and reaching out for help. Have you seen any sort of therapist? If you know you need to gain weight, but you're still afraid to eat, that's definitely a red flag. I would definitely recommend you seek help and get this thing sorted out before it gets worse. You can do this!!
  • lisabinco
    lisabinco Posts: 1,016 Member
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    Firstly - congratulations on deciding to get help for your disordered eating, you are already stronger than a lot of other people in your situation for doing that.

    It must be a scary goal for you to increase your calories, and it's hard to silence that voice that you've listened to for so long. Remember why you're doing this. If you have a doctor helping you on your journey, remember that he/she would not give you any advice that would cause you to put on a crazy amount of weight and get fat. They are there to guide you towards a healthy way of life. Keep trying by taking small steps, if you feel that you should add a few more calories into your day, eat something healthy and nutritious like some fruit or nuts.
    This! Good advice. One step at a time, you can get past this.
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    It sounds like you don't trust your feelings of hunger to properly regulate your weight. That makes sense; those of us who have gained lots of weight without intending to do so have learned to distrust our regulatory systems.

    In the short run, I'd advise you to remember that one day doesn't make a difference in the long run. If you feel like you haven't eaten enough, you have the permission of many random Internet strangers to eat as much as you want, or think you need.

    In the long run, you need what John Walker calls an "eat watch" in "The Hacker's Diet": http://www.fourmilab.ch/hackdiet/e4/

    I recommend that anyone who has a complicated relationship with food read Walker's book; though it's aimed at people who have put on weight, the overall principles work for everyone who can't maintain a healthy weight intuitively. The physiological parts aren't up to date, and the Excel spreadsheets are broken, but the rest is timeless.
  • unFATuated
    unFATuated Posts: 204 Member
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    If you can, just try to rationalise this - gaining a lot of weight overnight is impossible. One late-night snack is not going to make you wake up at 200lbs tomorrow. Find something you like to eat and put it in your mouth. Even 1 cup of air popped popcorn or something light will help.

    Try to increase your calorie intake slowly. Don't go right up to 1600 straight away (obviously you probably wouldn't anyway, it would be hard for you to do) just try adding in some nice, nutrient-dense food each week and see how your body responds. You will probably find that the more you eat the hungrier you feel. Don't ignore hunger, trust it as it will be your body telling you it needs energy. Your body deserves to be treated well, and you deserve a healthy, happy body which will allow you to achieve what you want to achieve.
  • suunflower
    suunflower Posts: 36
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    Thank you all so much! I actually just had a little ice cream bar. Wasn't much, but, again -- babysteps. And it showed me that it's okay. All of your advice is really helpful and I appreciate it tons!!
  • ghost139
    ghost139 Posts: 7
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    i vote to try some protein shakes, and maybe build more muscle, naturally, and i swear there is something wrong with having NO fat on your body, but a little is important (its stored energy)

    If you can find a shake that you like the taste of, then you should have little trouble hitting your desired calorie intake without feeling sick from over eating, and know that everything you are eating is healthy and that of course you wont become obese from doing so.


    Good on you for seeking help! Best of luck!
  • Saraaw23
    Saraaw23 Posts: 35
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    I agree with everyones advice here so far! Take it in and I hope it helps! One way to add calories to your day but is nutritious, Bananas with peanut butter! Tasty, adds calories (but not a super ton) and protein.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
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    Under eating will only hurt you in the long run. I know because I've done it. A number of years ago, I decided I was fat and needed to lose weight. I did this by developing an unhealthy fear of food. I started eating less, feeling guilty about what I did eat and exercising more. I eventually reached a point where I was eating about 300 calories a day and exercising six days a week. I did lose weight, but I was tired, irritable, hungry and contantly sick. I got down to 185 lbs and had a 38" waist. Eventually, I couldn't keep it up any longer and I started eating again, but I had already done an immense amount of metabolic damage to myself. It took several years to straighten it out, and in the process, I gained about100 lbs (more than I had lost in the first place). This time, I went to a dietician to get help losing the right way and make sure I stayed healthy. I am now down to 195 lbs, but my body fat is 5% lower than when I was eating at anorexic levels, and my waist is 4" smaller. When you starve yourself, your body tends to burn muscle, not fat. Muscle requires more calories to maintain than fat does, so it gets consumed at higher levels. It why people who go on anorexic diets look like walking skeletons - all of their muscle tissue was burned away, but the fat remained, so they kept not eating until there was nothing left.

    I would recommend consulting with a dietician (not a nutritionist - nutritionists are not licensed and their expertise can vary widely) to help put together a healthy plan and keep you on track. Don't be afraid of food. I eat 2200 calories a day now, and I am still burning fat. Food is not the enemy and neither is your body. Your fear and your unhealthy relationship with food are the enemy, but they can be beat. Good luck.
  • castelluzzo99
    castelluzzo99 Posts: 313 Member
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    The "don't eat after ___pm" thing is a total myth. Eating at night won't make you gain any weight, so go eat something and enjoy it!!

    Good for you for recognizing that your eating is disordered and reaching out for help. Have you seen any sort of therapist? If you know you need to gain weight, but you're still afraid to eat, that's definitely a red flag. I would definitely recommend you seek help and get this thing sorted out before it gets worse. You can do this!!

    Precisely. I have realized that the problem most people have with eating at night is that they don't need more calories, or they eat more than they need. My husband often eats late (9 pm last night), because he's starving (needs an extra 800+ calories, for instance), and if it's late, he'll just eat them anyway, then stay up a bit for them to digest (maybe an hour) before going to bed. And he's not got an extra ounce of fat on him. Really. He's 5'9" and 145 lb soaking wet. :)

    And I also agree that you need to seek professional help. Good luck!
  • JoanB5
    JoanB5 Posts: 610 Member
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    The time of day doesn't matter to your body...a calorie is a calorie. Try to move up in small steps and let your body readjust to the new calories. You may gain three pounds or so, but it will normalize over the next several weeks. Something I do is calorie cycling. First, I moved my calories up by a couple hundred (a hundred a week). Then, I ate 200 more calories for days I get either a half hour weight lifting session or a half an hour run in.

    This is a start to helping me build muscle (not look sickly)...my body is getting some of the extra calories it needs to start to form muscle. And, I still need to do some body fat cutting for abs, so that cardio and trying to eat more clean helps with that some (long process). The main thing is to try to make sure you are eating quality foods as you increase cals. I did well with this the first month, but the second month, I'm eating white bread a couple times a day due to grilling season, leftovers, and busy summer schedules with kids. I hope to eat more clean in the next few weeks. Keep measuring, taking pics, setting goals, and you'll still feel in control of your body without being on a severe dieting deficit.
  • jennagoogles13
    jennagoogles13 Posts: 266
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    Step 1: Grab a spoon
    Step 2: Grab a tub of peanut butter
    Step 3: Go to town!!
  • violettatx
    violettatx Posts: 230 Member
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    Thank you all so much! I actually just had a little ice cream bar. Wasn't much, but, again -- babysteps. And it showed me that it's okay. All of your advice is really helpful and I appreciate it tons!!

    Great! I mean, its good to know in advance what you are going to eat, but life happens! Don't be afraid to eat some ice cream, fruit, or whatever when you need more calories to meet your goals.
  • adsdfjksdf
    adsdfjksdf Posts: 2
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    Someone told me something that has stuck with me. Whether whatever issue we struggle with our body - if it is self-induced then we are abusing our body. You most likely (I assume) would never imagine the abuse of another person. By treating our body badly, you are not only physically abusing it but mentally. By not eating you're not nourishing your body with nutrients and energy.

    You won't be afraid to eat once you educate yourself more on what you NEED to eat and a healthy amount. You also need to educate yourself on a personal body weight that's healthy for you. You could easily gain TONS of pounds and be okay - I'm sure you may be aware. You'll realize that WHAT you eat and portion SIZES are far more important than calories. I know tons of health foods that rack up on calories.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
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    First off you are very underweight so you need help to realize that gaining weight is a good thing not a bad thing. Secondly you may not have even been overweight in the first place. I don't know your frame size but you were under the top range for your height.

    And there is this to get in some calories without feeling too stuffed. I recommend this as a night smoothie though so you get the full calorie benefit (not the eating at night will make you gain thing it's the drinking this will kill your appetite thing).

    1 banana
    2 or more tablespoons of peanut butter
    1 scoop of protein powder
    couple tablespoons of cocoa powder
    sweetener like agave, honey, sugar, something with calories

    You should be able to bump your calorie intake up 500 calories with this. But, I stress this should be a night time thing because when I have something like this in the morning it can keep me full for many hours.

    Also I suspect your calorie plan is too low. It looks like you set it at sedentary and that you want to maintain. You really should be trying for a gain. But, baby steps. So, maybe 1800 to keep your weight on and then start bumping it up from there. It really is harder to gain than lose so keep that in mind when you are afraid of gaining to much.
  • suunflower
    suunflower Posts: 36
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    And there is this to get in some calories without feeling too stuffed. I recommend this as a night smoothie though so you get the full calorie benefit (not the eating at night will make you gain thing it's the drinking this will kill your appetite thing).

    1 banana
    2 or more tablespoons of peanut butter
    1 scoop of protein powder
    couple tablespoons of cocoa powder
    sweetener like agave, honey, sugar, something with calories

    I really like this idea! Think I'm finally going to invest in some protein powder and give it a go. Thank you!
  • Amym26
    Amym26 Posts: 83 Member
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    I really suggest some counseling as this sounds more than some advice on a forum can resolve. Also, meeting with a dietitian that can suggest options for a healthy diet plan. It sounds like to me you are afraid to eat as it might "set you off" and you will gain all the weight back. I can relate to this.

    I do agree with eating food with a lot of nutrition with calories if you cannot get yourself to eat more. Bananas, greek yogurt, peanut butter, full fat cheese, protein powder with milk. You will be fine with these options it's the junk food that is what isn't okay to add calories. And I imagine will make you feel bad and go back to eating a low calorie diet.

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