Feel so insecure at the gym
Replies
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First off, f*** anyone who would say anything negative to you. You're all there to be healthy and fit, so your goals are aligned in that aspect.
Seriously consider hiring a trainer and being taught how to do basic compound movements (bench, deadlifts, squats) and then once you got it dialed in go for it. Everyone is at different levels when it comes to lifting. Every body is different.
GO.
LEARN PROPER FORM.
LIFT HEAVY.
QUIT WORRYING WHAT OTHERS THINK.
ENJOY RESULTS.0 -
it's pretty much all in your head. i know, because i was the same way.
remind yourself that all the guys there started where you are now.
remind yourself that they are their because they are still working on themselves.
remind yourself that their work out is not your work out, and vice versa. concentrate on yourself.
and if you really have a problem with it, go really early. thats what i did. at 530am, there is no one at my gym.
This! There are times you can go (sunday morning for example/ Friday night, etc) hat the gym will almost be empty and I love to play around in an empty gym.
But you know, sometimes when I look at someone I am not judging them, I am impressed they are starting. But Im not even worried about what they are doing.
Honestly, I don't think anyone really is thinking anything negative, even if they glance at you, you can nod your head, people are usually nice, they just look serious because they are working out.
Okay and here is something SO RUDE (and I don't mean it that way) I just love this quote, it has gotten me through situations. "Why do you think your so important that everyone in the room is thinking of you/ or looking at you" so I take this statement and use it, I think about it, when I feel someone is looking at me or judging me I think, you know what I bet what I'm doing didn't even cross their mind. I know that statement is harsh but I loved hearing it, it kinda made me think, yeah why do I think everyone is judging me, I am I like that important that everyone needs to know what Im up to. I don't know maybe you will use it, maybe you wont. I didn't mean it to be rude, but you gotta think, Im sure they are more worried about how their workout is effecting their looks happy lifting!0 -
First off, f*** anyone who would say anything negative to you. You're all there to be healthy and fit, so your goals are aligned in that aspect.
Seriously consider hiring a trainer and being taught how to do basic compound movements (bench, deadlifts, squats) and then once you got it dialed in go for it. Everyone is at different levels when it comes to lifting. Every body is different.
GO.
LEARN PROPER FORM.
LIFT HEAVY.
QUIT WORRYING WHAT OTHERS THINK.
ENJOY RESULTS.
where's a good place to find a trainer? the ones at the gym seem generic to me..kind of vague and they turn over quickly...I think what I'm asking is where to find a trainer who will go to gym with you ( and hopefully monitor diet) but isn't employed by the gym..0 -
Id say its in your mind. No gym Ive ever been to has people watching and judging. To solve your problem though just to a google or youtube search for dumbell and whatever muscle you want to work, will find a bazlillion videos showing various ways.0
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I was reading this article and it reminded me of your post. Take a look it might help you out with feeling the way you do!
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2010/08/09/infiltrating-the-empire-how-to-workout-properly-in-a-commercial-gym/0 -
If you want to take on the challenge and lift straight away at the gym, that's amazing!
Maybe the company of a friend would help you feel less conspicuous - do have a friend who'd be interested in going with you?
It is also reasonable to start doing work at home until you feel a bit more confident. There are lots of instructional videos on youtube. You could even film yourself, and make the channel private, and invite particular people to give advice on your form. I'm sure many here would be willing to offer constructive, supportive comments.
I think, whatever you need to do to feel comfortable is fine. Getting moving doing something is the main thing. I'm positive that once you get into a groove, you'll feel better about everything, and it will be easier.0 -
Everybody started somewhere man. I walked in my gym skin and bones with a tank top on the first day because I didn't know any better. I seen guys 3x the size as me. I never wore a tank top to the gym again. It can be a humbling experience.
Goto bodybuilding.com and check out exercises, attempt them with light weight in the gym. Start slow you'll get there0 -
Yes it really is just all in your head! I say this because I get paranoid, too, haha I think we all do at times, especially when starting something new. I just started the Strong Lift 5x5 program and it took me days to work up the nerve to go to the free weight section with all the macho dudes (and Im in SoCal, lots of them to be found haha). Once I found the equipment I needed, I just did it, and it wasnt as bad as I thought. It wasnt bad at all, actually. Oh and I found wearing headphones helps for some reason, helps you to focus on yourself and not what others are thinking....0
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I thought the same as you when I started going to a gym 2 weeks ago. However, by just talking to these people raising an eyebrow, it turns out they are actually knowledgeable and helpful, telling me what the best way to proceed was. Don't worry about not lifting as much as they do, just do what you can do.
Bottom line, do what you can and don't worry about anyone else!0 -
I 100% relate to what you're saying. Props to you for trying. My first day at the gym on machines, I literally got so uncomfortable that I sat by the entryway and waited until my gym buddy was able to leave. The next time I built up the courage to go, I fell on the treadmill about 3 minutes into my workout. So embarrassing! But honestly, whatever. It definitely can be an intimidating environment but everyone has to start somewhere. Those guys didn't start off lifting trucks. You & I have every right to be there as much as the next person. I recommend listening to some good music and just focus on yourself and try not to look at everyone else there. The gym is about you and it's a place to improve yourself. If you have a smartphone you should check out the Jefit app, BTW. It's free and has a ton of dumbbell exercises with little animations on how to do them. It definitely comes in handy if you're just starting out and not sure what to do. Good luck!0
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I've been a casual observer of humans for some years now.
They all feel insecure.
They all worry about whether they are doing the right thing, and even if they KNOW they are doing the right thing, still worry that others (most often humans they don't even know) might judge it as the wrong thing.
They all feel uncomfortable and nervous when trying something new.
Once something is repeated several times and is no longer new, their confidence in the task and themselves is increased proportionally.
ETA: I also have a hypothesis, that those individuals that repeatedly practise trying new things, become more confident in the concept/execution of trying new things.0 -
dude, go make some friends with those guys you see lifting ask for some advice from them i am sure those guys would help you out and then you won't feel like a fool cause they all now know you are new to it and need help they will help you and give you some tips then before you know it you will be doing some Presses to make those girls take off their dresses lol jk man just go have a good time man bodybuilding should enhance your life not take away from it. good luck man. don't give up or let anyone or anything stop you from your goals0
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Dont feel bad im right there with you I am extremely insecure at the gym0
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If you have the money I would hire a personal trainer just for a week to teach you the basics. Everyone has to start somewhere and believe me everyone is clueless when they first start. Don't let your insecurities stop you from reaching your goals. Be a alpha son!!0
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If you have the money I would hire a personal trainer just for a week to teach you the basics. Everyone has to start somewhere and believe me everyone is clueless when they first start. Don't let your insecurities stop you from reaching your goals. Be a alpha son!!
i sort of agree. i was at my gym for a few months, doing what i could, learning, and figuring out what else i wanted to learn. i talked with the fitness manager and told him some of my goals, and he set me up with a young personal trainer that was outstanding. i told him my goals, and what i was looking for. basically i told him that i really wanted to work out my legs, and that i believed that if i did that, the rest would follow. his eyes lit up at that. he described himself as the "leg guy" at the gym, and he proved himself to me. no, he wasn't some jacked swoll guy, but definitely knew his stuff.
and i bout a package that had me working out with him twice a month, for six months. you don't need to buy it so that he is your every day work out buddy.0 -
I was at the gym today and tried to watch them for a while. All I saw was a room full of men doing bicep curls, and a few guys my own age who were mostly talking and joking around.0
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I know this a month old board topic ,but I had to respond anyways. I don't know what gym you go to maybe it's a high school gym ,but it sounds everyone there are there to show off and not workout. A real gym everyone respects each other and highly respect the ones who are fat and skinny that are just starting. I use to be 105 lbs in high school and now I compete fitness physique at 165 lbs, so I know where you are coming from. I see it everyday those guys that come in big groups try to lift more then what they can lift , wear those shirts with the long cut on the side that shows their stomach and chest and harass women . I know talk they talk crap about me because of jealousy and I don't care, so you lose either way.
Everyone starts at the bottom ,even those meat heads you see talking crap. What's funny is what I noticed everyone who goes to the gym are deep down still unhappy a bit with their body ,that's why they keep returning. If you think about it if you were comfortable with yourself you'd stop going and let yourself go.
Anyways long story short ,just change gyms . Small local gyms are good ones to join or do what I do put on headphones and ignore everything around you.
good luck buddy0 -
Most people feel like they are being stared at or judged while at the gym, but most likely there are few, if any, people who are actually watching you at all.
this, mostly. when i see newer members or those that aren't lifting that much i'm usually thinking "good for them...yayyy" or something like that
i've seen men benching/squatting the bar only and i have never had any kind of negative thought. maybe they're new, doing physical therapy, rehab, etc i do not know their story so why judge
i do look at people lifting in between my own sets but it's mostly just looking at people because they're there to look at (and checking out cute guys of course LOL)
so please get in there and do your thing OP0 -
It's not about the weight, its about the form.0
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I have felt that way. But all those dudes had to start somewhere... they weren't just born ripped. I suggest finding a buddy to go with you. I always felt more secure with someone. NOW i'm finally at a point where I can go by myself but a while ago that would never happen. Some free weight stuff... i'm dying to do but I'm by myself and don't touch. As soon as my dad is there or brother or whoever, I don't even need them to help me, it just makes me feel more secure and i have no problem doing it. You gotta stop caring what they think and use free weights. nothing is like free weights.0
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