I see to be making everyone else uncomfortable..

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superspork2
superspork2 Posts: 99 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello everyone! So here's the situation. Since about the beginning of the year I made the decision to really start taking care of myself (eat better, exercise and such) and I'd say over the past 3 months is really been starting to pay off and I've lost 12 pounds so far. I wont go into to much detail about my system, but its been working for me and I'm really excited about it!

I don't like bringing up fitness too much at work because I work with a lot of fitness freaks and as soon as you bring up the subject suddenly they tell you everything you NEED to do and force it down your throat if you want to hear about it or not! so I just steered clear. But people started to notice that i was getting a little thinner in the midsection and would ask me "hey, you look like you've lost weight?" and I would reply "oh yes I have actually, thank you!" and then suddenly, they would get really uncomfortable. Like just say "oh, good." and walk away or make a face.. or a super common one was "Oh well I'm pretty sure I've gained weight." And I just never know what to say back to them... I do like talking about this stuff but I feel like the only person I can tell is my boyfriend and he's probably sick of hearing me say "HEY! Look at this new muscle I have!"

So I guess I was just wondering if anyone else has the problem.. I'm really not trying to force what Im doing at people or make anyone else feel bad, but I at the same time I don't want to make myself feel guilty for being successful. Any ideas on what I should say back to those people that turn it around to being negative on them?

(sorry for the typo in the topic line.. *sigh*)

Replies

  • kitten9786
    kitten9786 Posts: 23 Member
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    I've been there! I made the decision awhile ago, and it's my grandmother who puts me down even though I am losing weight, it's not fast enough, or I'm not doing it right according to her. She depressed me so much that I fell off my track and now I'm trying to pick myself up again and surrounding myself by only people who will support me. If you ever need someone else to talk to feel free to add me! I love listening to others successes and always need someone to brag about mine!!
  • kathleennf
    kathleennf Posts: 606 Member
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    I think your response is perfect - smile, say thanks, and acknowledge that you have lost weight- and don't give more details unless they ask or otherwise express interest. I have been there too and I imagine most people who have successfully lost weight have been there. Wait till you get near your goal weight- I bet people will start following that up with asking you if you are sick and telling you that you are too thin! Just ignore them and stick to the plan (assuming your goal weight is a healthy one!).
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    i have a couple people at work that are like that. they arent uncomfortable enough yet to make the change. and every day they complain about how this is the fattest they have ever been but they continue to eat fried foods for lunch. all you can say is when you get tired of the way you are you will change it. never feel guilty for making the right choices for yourself. its their own fault for not doing the right thing. dont know if this helps but really it is their own issues they have to deal with. be proud of what you have done! no shame in that!
  • leesyc81
    leesyc81 Posts: 52 Member
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    i feel im losing friends over losing weight :-( In January many of us decided to lose weight and im the only one to have stuck at it, lost 52lb in the process and have more muscle tone that im also very proud of. i had praise in the beginning, but now my loss is noticeable i feel quite ignored. i never bring up a diet or exercise convo because i don't want to rub it in their faces . I've actually thought well was it all really worth it for how im now treated. im still gonna carry on with it but it is frustrating!!
  • krisjohnson121
    krisjohnson121 Posts: 87 Member
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    I totally feel you. First, you have every right to be proud of how of your accomplishment - enjoy the compliments. I hate when people make negative comments on their weight, I have no clue what to say. Personally I think it is one of two things: 1 - it is the skinny person saying that they are fat just so you can tell them how great they look or 2 - it is someone looking for you to justify them not being healthy i.e. 'I know its impossible to lose weight lets go get ice cream'. I refuse to do either. Instead I focus on myself (maybe its a little conceited but oh well..) Well you I find that when I .... I start to feel healthier, etc etc.

    For the people who like to offer their opinion - SCREW 'EM. "Oh that's great. I have noticed that my body responds best when I..." They can be whatever fitness expert or whatever - but you are the expert of your body and they cannot argue that.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    That's weird. Just ignore them, I guess? The problem isn't you.
  • jmreich30
    jmreich30 Posts: 23 Member
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    If they are really your friends they would be happy for you. I have a pretty good mix of friends one's that work out and are active and then others that eat whatever they want and don't. All of them have been supportive and have given me compliments about the weight I lost and how I'm looking better.

    If anybody is unhappy or negative about it they aren't a true friend.
  • BigGuy47
    BigGuy47 Posts: 1,768 Member
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    Have fun with it. Inevitably people will ask, "how did you do it? how did you lose all that weight?" I usually tell them lots of laxatives and Marlborough reds. It was tough at first, but the coughing subsided after a few days. Then just walk away as they try to process the information.
  • collingmommy
    collingmommy Posts: 456 Member
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    been there and done that!! I work with a girl that is always telling me, "im tired, my feets hurt and my dr says its cause im fat" she is 5'2 and weighs 195 .. iv offered help, but she still goes to mcdonalds for lunch everyday!! and thisother girl that weighs is over 450 lbs, she gets all quite when I am telling someone how ive lost weight, its embarrassing to her, she has been seen in the bathroom eating DONUTS!! wtf!!! then she gts all weird around me for telling ppl that are truly wanting to know what I do, its not me horking down donuts and swallowing mcdonalds cheeseburgers in one bite! I do my share of the work, they do get all freaked out when they see me with a "not so healthy " treat, though, that's when they jump in and say "your going to gain all that weight you lost back, I laugh inside! I think" really? ive ben doing this for over 2 years, and you think you know what is going on y food list? quick, whats the calorie count of your fries? don't tell me im going to get "FAT" again if I eat like "THIS" ! AND HOW ABOUT THE PPL THAT LOOK AT YOU AND SAY, "YOUR GETTING TO SMALL, STOP LOSING WEIGHT!" whole different story!!
  • bethlaf
    bethlaf Posts: 954 Member
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    1 line response...
    Success is an ugly mirror to failure
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    That is just odd.. Sounds more like they're the ones making the situation uncomfortable, not you.

    I love the suggested reply of "well you carry it well" though - what the hell else would you say!

    I was in a situation about a year ago when I ran into a co-worker who complimented me on my progress then she made a similar comment about "ha, looks like I found the weight you lost". Thing is, she looked pregnant to me but I wasn't sure if she was or not. And you ladies know, this is a touchy subject!! Turns out she was - but why she didn't just come out and tell me, I'll never figure out. It was a very odd uncomfortable conversation...
  • wateryphoenix
    wateryphoenix Posts: 644 Member
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    Um...they need to learn how to reply better? Haha. I mean, if you say "i have, thank you." they should say 'well you look great, it's noticeable.' or, if you don't offer information (I totally understand why you do not wish to) they should say 'whatever you are doing is working!' Or something along those lines.

    How they are acting? Blah. Ignore them. You are doing great. Keep it up.
  • hatkinson87
    hatkinson87 Posts: 42
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    I smell jealousy! I would keep doing what you're doing and be excited about your weight loss! That's a big deal and something to be proud of. Just smile at them and say thanks! :)

    Keep up the good work!!

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