Mid Life Crises at 30?

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AimeeBaumgartner
AimeeBaumgartner Posts: 38 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I started my weight loss journey 1 yr and 3 months ago and I lost 61 lbs. Two months ago I quit my job to be a stay at home mom. I wanted to focus on my kids, but I was also having a hard time dealing with all of the idiots at work too. I have regained 14 lbs. in 2 months and it's no mystery why. The kids drive me insane! Kudos to daycare workers and stay at home moms. It's not for me. So when I stress...I eat. I'm looking for another job, but no one can pay me enough to afford daycare where it's beneficial for my family for me to go back to work. I've stopped going to the gym my usual 3-4 times a week. I rarely want to go. I only eat healthy 40 % of the time and I'm drinking a lot. I'm depressed and I can't get out of this funk. My clothes are too tight now. I have muffin top and my undies are too small JUST FROM 13 lbs. I'm scared to get as fat as I was. I never even hit my goal weight of 120 lbs. I've considered joining the army so I would have to stay in shape for my job, but my mother says I'm running away from my problems. I don't know how to get back on track. I read these health magazines and I can't live on salads, water, fish and oatmeal alone. Thoughts? Advice? Positive comments only please. I've even reached out to the Lord too because this is a slippery slope. Help!

Replies

  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    I'm not sure I can be much help, but I'm 31 and a SAHM too. The first thing I'd recommend is to get a gym membership that has drop-in babysitting, like the YMCA. They give you an hour of free babysitting. Drop the kids off and go take a water exercise class (like Aqua Zumba, it's ALOT of fun). It's calming, it feels good, and you're burning calories. On top of that, you get an hour to yourself without the kids. And nobody there cares what you look like in a bathing suit, so don't feel embarrassed, lol. I use to be really self conscious about about that, but quickly realized nobody cares, they're too busy doing the exercise. After that, you can work watching your portions and calorie intake.

    But really, just that 1 hour focusing on yourself will help you keep your sanity. Good Luck!
  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    Are you still using MFP? I would do that ASAP to try to get back on track. I would try to fi d zone type of exercise either with kids or without. That will help with stress as well as give you time for just you!!
  • wateryphoenix
    wateryphoenix Posts: 644 Member
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    I agree with finding a gym where you can drop your kids off. Or if you have somebody to watch your kids for an hour or so while you go to the gym, or just go for a walk/jog by yourself. My boss has children, and I notice (and she agrees) that she is much more stressed/cranky when she doesn't get a workout in every few days.

    I cannot imagine being a stay at home mom. I don't even have children, but my best friend has 2, and going over to her house can drive me insane. You can do it! Just be patient. And make sure to squeeze in some time to yourself. Even when it is after they all go to bed and you can curl in a corner and drink some wine and read a book.
  • hisirishwench
    hisirishwench Posts: 15
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    Make time for yourself, first and foremost. Either before or after the husband comes home get to the gym for an hour or so..even if you have to get up early! As Ninkyou said join a gym with drop in daycare. Structure your children's day (if you have not) so that there is some exercise for all of you in it - to the playground, park, out for a walk. My daughter (6) and I have a dance off contest, she gets to pick the song then we dance and she has to teach me a move or two. It is fun and we also get our exercise and she gets a tired from all the moving. When you are reaching for that snack while feeling frustrated ask yourself why you are eating (emotional eating). Get rid of the junk food in the house and replace it with fresh fruits or veggies. Take out your favorite pair of jeans that don't fit and once a week try them on as you work toward your goal of losing the weight you have gained back. I did this over the last few weeks and last week I was able to button the jeans, although not comfortable, I was one step closer to my goal. I can't wait to try them on this week!
    and of course, keep reaching out to your community here :) you can do it, this is just a bump in the road...
  • AimeeBaumgartner
    AimeeBaumgartner Posts: 38 Member
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    I take the kids 8 and 2 to the park, the lake, the beach, the library, etc. I try to keep them busy, but they are a handful! The kids are very spirited! My husband would watch them so I can go to the gym, but after all day of dealing with the kiddos I just watch to zone out on the couch. He gets stressed when he's with them just on the weekends so, I bet he can't imagine the all day and night non stop thing going on here. I love them... I really do. Unfortunately the gym we go to doesn't have child care, but it's open 24 hrs which benefits my husbands erratic work schedule. I just wonder if I will always have to count calories. Just stressed....
  • Denise_1010
    Denise_1010 Posts: 8
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    One thing you and your husband have to do is get on the same page with your parenting. Just because he choses to work outside the home, and you work at home, doesn't mean he's absolved of watching the kids so you can get out of the house. He's gone 8+ hours a day. It doesn't matter how tired he is when he gets home, YOU DESERVE A BREAK!! The reason you're so tired is because you eat like crap and you're out of shape. It takes a lot of work for your body to process that crap food. Natural foods are easier to digest and give you more energy. If you spent an hour every day working out you'd also have more energy for the kids, with the added bonus of having confidence in your appearance. The weight gain, lethargy, stress, it's all contributing to your weight gain and before you know it you're going to wake up 60 pounds from now, knee-deep in a depression so bad you'll need medication to bring you out of it. Please do not hesitate to ask your husband to stay home with the kids for at least an hour every night. You don't "babysit" your own kids. He helped make them and he can help raise them. If you don't get a break you'll lose your sanity! Do it for you, and do it for your kids!
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
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    I agree with the above poster about your husband needng to make time for you if you want to leave the house. Maybe getting out for yoga would be a good option since it's also stress relieving? You work at home for (if it's like our house, 10 or 12) hours and he works outside the home... Is it possible to get some time in the morning? I never want to do morning workouts but man do they energize me and working out at the beginning or each day really helps with food choices because who wants to ruin their great workout! Big hugs, I know how tough it can be to be a SAHM -- especially when the rest of the world thinks you have it so good. xxx
  • Jaulen
    Jaulen Posts: 468 Member
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    "One thing you and your husband have to do is get on the same page with your parenting. Just because he choses to work outside the home, and you work at home, doesn't mean he's absolved of watching the kids so you can get out of the house. He's gone 8+ hours a day. It doesn't matter how tired he is when he gets home, YOU DESERVE A BREAK!!" [snip] "Please do not hesitate to ask your husband to stay home with the kids for at least an hour every night. You don't "babysit" your own kids. He helped make them and he can help raise them. If you don't get a break you'll lose your sanity! Do it for you, and do it for your kids!"

    THIS

    I would also add, do it for your marriage.

    An unhappy stressed out partner makes the other partner unhappy and stressed out.

    YOU need time for you. Your husband gets time away from the kids when he works, and when he gets out of the house to work out...why aren't you able to get even a portion of that time when he gets home every night? (even if its for you to take a walk around the neighborhood sans kids)
  • Isakizza
    Isakizza Posts: 754 Member
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    The gym is my sanctuary.

    If it wasn't for the gym, I'd completely lose my mind with all the stress of business, life, and especially TEENAGERS!!!!!
    It takes a few weeks, even months to get into a good routine where you actually don't wanna miss the gym.

    Look for one with daycare, or set a schedule with your family so you can go and no one will disturb you while you are there, it's your "ME TIME". Remind hubby of "happy wife=happy life". Being consistent on MFP will also help.

    Good luck and hang in there!

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  • sleepingtodream
    sleepingtodream Posts: 304 Member
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    I'm sorry to hear you are going through a rough time! I think with a few changes you can definitely start feeling better about yourself and have more energy. One suggestion I have is to cut out alcohol in the evening (at least for awhile). It is most likely causing you to retain water, not sleep well and possibly eat/snack more than you would. I used to have a couple glasses of wine or beers in the evening after the kids would go to bed in hopes taht I would "unwind". I wasn't overindulging, and it really did relax me but I realized it wasn't helping me lose my last 15 lbs and I for sure didn't feel good about myself (I was stilll stressed from work and my husband and my opposite schedules). I was always tired and had zero energy to keep up with the kids. Once I started drinking more water and hydrating myself I stopped snacking in the evening, dropped a couple lbs and got my @ss back to the gym. I didn't need to lose alot right away to start feeling better and to get my motivation back!!

    Good luck!!:0
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    Good luck in figuring everything else out :) I am not a SAHM, but I've already told my boyfriend when we have kids he MUST be a stay at home dad (which will be ok since he works nights, i work days at the moment)... I have zero patience I've realized the past few years. My co-workers have kids and they come in occasionally and after an hour I'm stressing and feel burnt out and just ready to snap. So kudos to you for being a stay at home mom, but if it isn't for you, you need to find what is.

    Get back into good eating habits, and the rest will come - even a good brisk walk/jog can help relieve stress. When I was home on disability I drank... a lot... I was disabled, with nowhere to go and nothing to do. But once I was allowed back at work, I found a new job that works well for (I had to quit my old one because they wouldn't accommodate me and my medical needs), I stopped drinking booze, and just making small changes... got enough sleep, started eating better... and it snowballed from there!
  • 2aycocks
    2aycocks Posts: 415 Member
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    I take the kids 8 and 2 to the park, the lake, the beach, the library, etc. I try to keep them busy, but they are a handful! The kids are very spirited! My husband would watch them so I can go to the gym, but after all day of dealing with the kiddos I just watch to zone out on the couch. He gets stressed when he's with them just on the weekends so, I bet he can't imagine the all day and night non stop thing going on here. I love them... I really do. Unfortunately the gym we go to doesn't have child care, but it's open 24 hrs which benefits my husbands erratic work schedule. I just wonder if I will always have to count calories. Just stressed....

    I REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT IT'S LIKE!!

    First of all, you MUST walk or exercise! Exercise creates more endorphins in the brain, which are natural antidepressants. See if there is anywhere you can take your kids to Mother's Day Out for at least 1 day a week. that will give you some alone time, which you need.

    Try to create some activities for your kids to keep them calmer. See if your 8 year old can go to day camp one week this summer or church camp. If any Grandmas are near, get them to babysit sometimes so you can relax. And find other stay at home Moms so socialize with. They can be a great help.
  • 2aycocks
    2aycocks Posts: 415 Member
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    One last thing..... STOP the drinking! You are adding a depressant to a depression. It will make it worse and you can wind up with a much bigger problem.

    Also, you may need to go to your doctor. Out of whack hormones can turn you inside out! But most of all, be patient with yourself. Staying at home with small children after working is stressful. But you can adjust and get to feeling better. Then you will be so glad you did!

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