Midway progress

This is my first progress post since joining MFP. I guess some history first with a comparison picture following.

Growing up I was always average weight. I was always the tallest of my friends but never skinny. In middle school my friends wanted me to join cheerleading with them but I always thought I was too fat (which was not the case, looking back now). When I was 15 I had my first run in with feeling blue. My doctor told me to start seeing a psychologist so I did. I was put on Paxil and diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. When the medication wasn't working very well they decided to increase the dosage rather than try another medication. I was taking 100mg a day from age 15-16 (and was later told normal adult dosage is around 30mg). I don't remember 10th grade because I was pretty much an overly medicated zombie. I also gained 100 pounds in 11 months. I guess my parents didn't seem to notice but luckily my family doctor did. I was taken off Paxil and signed up for Weight Watchers at age 17 and was unsuccessful.

I remained overweight since then and when I was in a relationship in my early 20's we had issues. I started counseling again and was misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder (which was really just depression and my "episodes" that they thought related to bipolar was really just me coping with an emotional and mentally abusive relationship). I gained another 75 pounds on Depakote, which did nothing for me since I wasn't bipolar.

So that relationship ended 4 years ago and instead of doing anything about it I wallowed around in self pity and the painful acceptance that I was going to be fat, miserable, and unhealthy for the rest of my life.

Last February (2012) I decided to see a nutritionist with zero expectations of her helping me any. I met with her and she told me a bunch of things I already knew that I didn't think I could do. After shutting off my pessimism I really started listening to what she was telling me about portion control and calories and realized that maybe I could do this. Right before I left, she said "Oh! Just in case this is all too much, please just do one thing for me. Download this app, use it for 2 weeks, and tell me what you think at our next visit". That app was MFP. I downloaded it as soon as I got home and started using it immediately.

I think the first day of tracking was the most painful for me. Not because it was a hassle, but because I saw how many empty and hidden calories I was really consuming. It was such an eye opener! I ended up cutting out all soda (I used to go through a bottle of Sprite Zero a day, at least) which was huge for me.

I cut out red meat years ago when I was diagnosed with high cholesterol at 25(!!). Last May I went vegetarian (later vegan) for ethical reasons, but it has certainly helped with my weight loss (please no flame wars about my daily diet). I eat things now that I have never eaten in my 30 years of life. I LOVE sweet potatoes, zuchinni, squash (all of it!), onions, mushrooms and spinach. I have tried grains I didn't even know existed, cook more than I have my whole life, and actually enjoy food rather than sadly shovel it into my mouth.

I have inspired my mother, aunt, uncle and cousin to take their health into their own hands and they have all started their own diet and exercise routines. I still try to explain to them that I am not on a diet, but they cannot grasp that! Either way, they have all lost between 5 and 35 pounds themselves through hard work and it's my doing. I have inspired coworkers to start using MFP as well. I am so thankful for this website/app/life tool that it goes beyond words. It's the first time in my life I have control of things.

I do not track as often and consistently as I have in recent months but a lot has been going on. I still use it when I can and I LOVE the recipe tool. It is a life saver.

I reached 70 pounds lost (my tracker isn't working properly right now for some reason) this week and I bought my first pair of jeans in a year. I was tired of pulling up my pants all the time. I still have a long way to go, but I finally feel the effects of what I have lost so far and I feel amazing.

So my advice to anyone just signing up is to go for it. When I joined, I spent a good 5 hours looking through the success stories and BAWLING my eyes out. So many amazing people, so many rough, hard, painful, upsetting, rewarding journeys. Start on your own journey, take control, and live an amazing life. You all can do this. Everyone. Be a superstar!



So here is my midway progress pic, from 339 pounds down to 265. My goal is to be under 200. A specific number is not important. I have no idea where I want to be except in ONEderland. I will make it and I can't wait!



I was making a dumb EEEE! face so that's why the star, sorry.


Here's a 50 pound progress face picture, from my DL and work ID


and a happy me!

(I am 30 years old, 5'9¾ and 265 pounds)