Very discouraged...

ywantstobefit
ywantstobefit Posts: 32
in Health and Weight Loss
Hey MFPs,

Okay so, I'm a 19 year old girl who spent the last 4 years trying to lose weight. I've had times where I've lost it the unhealthy way and gained it back, and others where i stuck to a healthy diet and all that but I can't be 'consistent' .
I've researched and read about everything and i know how weight loss works, i don't want to lose much; in fact i want to lower my body fat % and be more fit. I feel like I've lost my motivation and willpower, I can't keep doing the right thing for more than a week it's depressing me. I want this, why am I such a failure?

I'm not overweight or anything, but I have that picture in my head and that goal that I want to achieve but it feels so distant and impossible.
I know many things play a part in a weight loss journey.. so i'm a pharmacy student and there's a lot to study, i don't have a steady routine, i do go to the gym every now and then but i don't have a fixed plan which sucks i don't know what to do about it. and sometimes i barely have time to do anything when i have exams. That being said, you can see that i'm an emotional eater and a bit moody.... meh.
Last thing, I'm so bored with my life, I honestly need someone to push me and motivate me. I know how you should be you should be your own inspiration but i'm so lost lately, i feel i dont have a purpose and i don't know i just feel empty. Like this year has been a huge turnover and a lot changed, friends, family, everything.
So lets say i'm gonna start fresh, a whole new beginning. Where do I start? What do I start changing?

I hope I didn't give a wrong impression about myself, i'm not 'depressed' as in 'depressed'.. I'm fine. It's just one of these days where you don't know what you're supposed to do. I can't lose those 5 kgs. It's not happening. I tried... so i just wanna know where im going wrong.

Thanks.

Replies

  • flgrl1974
    flgrl1974 Posts: 3 Member
    I understand how you feel. I often feel the same way. I am looking forward to the replies. May be it will help me as well. I understand how it feels to have a lack of time. One thing I have started doing to help is taking short breaks to do squats, jumping jacks, sit ups, etc. Nothing big just 50 to 100 at a time. It adds up.
    I often feel (and am currently there) that I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. Thank you for sharing.
  • run2bfree
    run2bfree Posts: 108 Member
    need to see what your exercise & food log it to make any opinion. but i would first of all say, take it easy on yourself. :) you got a lot going on and a lotta life to live. stress can halt your progress - so try to take it down a notch - always easier said than done as i am a huge offender! :)

    key things - eat well and lift heavy weights..
  • babbs770
    babbs770 Posts: 27 Member
    Change by creating a routine for yourself. The same way you brush your teeth, wash your face, etc, every morning, do some exercise every day. Find a couple basic things that you can do every day like pushups, 15 min video, crunches, whatever you enjoy, and feel good when you are done. For me, classes work better than doing it on my own, since I get motivated by the people around me, as well as by my wonderful instructors. Good luck!
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    If you can't find the fire within yourself, no amount of words from others will help for any duration of time. Encouragement from others helps only when you have the inner drive to achieve something. You can trigger this inner drive by writing down all of the things you don't like about your current lifestyle...and the things you hope to obtain with a healthier lifestyle. If you're honest enough with yourself, dig deep enough, and hate your current lifestyle enough...you will find the inner drive. Write those reasons down so you can review them whenever you begin to struggle.

    You cannot fail if you continue to try. So, no, you're not a failure.

    Know that making healthy eating choices is 90% of losing fat....so inconsistent exercise is not a reason why you can't lose fat. However, given your hectic schedule and that you're not terribly overweight, might I recommend dailyhiit.com. 12 minute HIIT workouts, 5 days a week, that will help accelerate fat loss if you're eating properly.
  • Curleycue0314
    Curleycue0314 Posts: 245 Member
    I totally understand how you feel! I too am an emotion unconsious eater! I've got a lot to loose! First, add me as a friend, you've been on here for 2 years and don't have one and I've found they really do help! Next do a reset. Just eat, don't think about eating the right thing, and log it! That is what made me realize i needed to make a LIFE CHANGE not be on a diet. then you can start to make smart changes about what you eat, how much and when you are triggered to emotionally eat. Then BE CONSISTANT with your workouts. Your body needs it, you will feel better, and you'll be able to feel in control of what you're eating! it takes 40 days to make something new a habit! Keep track of your days!
  • MrsLadyL2268
    MrsLadyL2268 Posts: 3
    I do not have any words of wisdom to offer you and I am sure others will chime in possibly. I am however moved by your honesty and for asking for help. I find myself in the same predicament at times and I am in my mid forties. You are yet young and realizing that you need to make some changes to get where you want to be. If I could offer one suggestion, that would be to find something to be thankful for each day and then go from there. Think of the things that you are grateful for and what you do like about yourself and then make plans to aim for better. Set mini goals!:happy:
  • sydneymiranda
    sydneymiranda Posts: 3
    I know how you feel, I'm 20, 21 in August, and I always start with a lot of motivation and then it just disappears. I've been trying for months now to get really serious about getting healthy, but something always sets me back. The person I live with doesn't help either; there is always bad food in the house and I have a big problem with cravings. I also have an idea of where I want to be on a healthy level, and since taking this journey I've had to broaden my goal. At first I just wanted to tone, but I've ended up gaining more weight so now I have to lose fat. No, it's definitely not muscle, it is FAT!

    I have a tumblr, which is just an online blog that is filled with all kinds of inspiration for me and recipes and things like that. It really helps me get in the right mindset. It's like a less hands on version of these forums, people can communicate, but I like to use my blog for me. My biggest motivation is my blog.

    It's nice to know I'm not alone in these feelings, and more importantly, you are not alone either! It's a difficult journey, especially when you have so much already going on in your life, and we're all going to have days when we want to give up, but it's that ultimate goal of happy and healthy that we're striving for. Making plans and setting small goals and rewards helps. Any contribution to a healthy lifestyle is good, so even if you don't get to the gym a lot, getting there at all is what matters.
  • sydneymiranda
    sydneymiranda Posts: 3
    Just eat, don't think about eating the right thing, and log it! That is what made me realize i needed to make a LIFE CHANGE not be on a diet.


    YES!!! I realized that helped me a lot, too. To kind of just log everything I eat before making the big change. That way I knew just how much I was changing and how much better it was for me. I log all the food, even the bad ;)
  • lulavenus
    lulavenus Posts: 14 Member
    First thing's first: chin up! You are totally allowed to have days like this, remember that. how realistic is your goal? Is 5kg perhaps too much? Maybe aim for 3 - it will be in closer sight, and you'll feel like you're reaching your goal quicker. Then when you lose that 3, it might be even easier to think 'just another 1' and again another 1. I started by just cutting out the unnecessary stuff - replacing mayo with extra light mayo, omitting the cheese from my ham sandwich, cutting out mid-week alcohol and rationing a handful of m&m's in the evening rather than sitting with a full bag! After the little changes, it's easier to continue. Leave a little bit on your plate when you eat a meal - even if it's just a couple of forkfuls of pasta etc. I feel that sometimes I would finish everything on my plate just because it was there, but that can lead to over eating so i always try to have some left over when i'm done. I think when you cut out the over-eating, the over-snacking and become aware of the hidden calories, it's easier to then actually start 'dieting' or just eating less. for me, it's easier to thinkg of it as a long-term process (a matter of months) rather than a short-term solution. Small changes can have good results. Finally, if you're feeling moody or sad or grumpy and you just want some chocolate - have a little! Everyone reaches for some chocolate when they're an emotional eater - just don't be an emotional over eater, because the guilt that follows might not help. You're a 19 year old student - don't think your life is boring. You're learning, meeting new people, and have your future laid out in front of you. So make it a good one!
  • freemystery
    freemystery Posts: 184 Member
    I've been where you are and I sorta go back there every week or so. All I can share is what worked for me.

    Same situation for me, I'm a completely different person to 13 mths ago with a completely different mindset and outlook.

    What works:
    Logging everything you eat. You can't always get to the gym and you might walk less on some days. Faithfully log and weigh and measure. Buy some good digital scales.

    Love your food, appreciate it. Don't eat in front of the TV. Chew it and taste it and ENJOY it. It is not just fuel and it is not your enemy it is a tool, you need to master it to get the best out of it. So you don't try to survive on three rice cakes and a yogurt for most of the day then flip out and have a kebab with chips. This is the stage I'm in, mastering the art of food.

    You CAN lose the 5kg. You WILL. You're just not losing YET. Start now, start today not tomorrow. Make incremental changes, just take a 30 minute walk in your lunch break. Put a podcast on or listen to some music and just move. Dance in your pyjamas to cheesy pop songs, hey it all counts! You don't have to be wearing spandex lifting weights for it to be counted. You'll be out of your rut before you know it.
  • fooninie
    fooninie Posts: 291 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that you are discouraged. Let's look at the positives! You are not overweight. That's AWESOME! You are starting from a great vantage point!

    You have an image of what you want your body to resemble. GREAT! Goals keep us motivated to push through those ruts. What works for me is I keep an image of an Runner's World mag with my "goal body" in front of me when I am lifting, when I think I can't, I look at the photo and think "I have to, I want to have that definition".

    Bottom line: 80/20 rule works. Keep it clean and train dirty 80% of the time and 20% of the time enjoy and relax!! If you start healthy habits at your age, there will be no limit to what you can achieve!

    Keep your head up!
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
    If you can't find the fire within yourself, no amount of words from others will help for any duration of time. Encouragement from others helps only when you have the inner drive to achieve something. You can trigger this inner drive by writing down all of the things you don't like about your current lifestyle...and the things you hope to obtain with a healthier lifestyle. If you're honest enough with yourself, dig deep enough, and hate your current lifestyle enough...you will find the inner drive. Write those reasons down so you can review them whenever you begin to struggle.

    You cannot fail if you continue to try. So, no, you're not a failure.

    Know that making healthy eating choices is 90% of losing fat....so inconsistent exercise is not a reason why you can't lose fat. However, given your hectic schedule and that you're not terribly overweight, might I recommend dailyhiit.com. 12 minute HIIT workouts, 5 days a week, that will help accelerate fat loss if you're eating properly.

    ^^^ I agree with these comments.

    I'm an older student (went back to college for another degree), so I understand the crazy schedule and lack of time. However, it will help you mentally as well as physically if you can find one activity during the week that you truly enjoy. For me, that's walking/hiking in a national park near my house. It could be something else for you -- find something you love to do and fit in, and your discouragement should start to lift. It doesn't even have to be exercise.... it could be something else that you walk or run to attend. Best of luck!
  • groundhawg
    groundhawg Posts: 121 Member
    First of all- you need to change your mindset, and that is the hardest thing about changing your body. You need to forgive yourself, not drive yourself into the ground. I honestly try and start every day with a quote frmo Buddha or a poem from one of my favorite poet. Something calming, it just puts me in the right mindset.

    Second, wake up, and just do 8 minutes of working out. Squats, jumping jacks, anything. You can find all sorts of 8 minute burn Tabata style work outs oinline, do them before you eat. Just get them done. You'll be amazed at how a subtle change like 8 minutes can really change things- your mood, your routine, your fitness.

    Third, join a class. Join a rock climbing class, belly dance, something fun, something that will also keep you accountable to other people, and something that will get you OUT of your routine, something that is challenging but interesting to you that will motivate you to your goals. Thats what belly dance is for me :smile: :smile: . I want to look GOOD in my jingling costume, I want my movements more fluid, so it motivates me to do hard core muscle workouts. You need something fun and new in your life- join a hobby type of class. Krav Maga was great for a while. Join MMA. I mean, there ar ea hundred things you could do, and if you are at a University its usually easy to find these things for cheaper than elsewhere.
  • MoJoPoe
    MoJoPoe Posts: 139 Member
    I am fortunate to have so many failures in my life because without them, I would not have any successes.

    First of all, accept yourself as you are.

    19 is an age where you get some extra fat. It is part of being a woman. I chose NOT to fight the hormonal weight gains, (but I AM fighting a large gain now that I have stabilized at age 52.)

    Don't let your challenge stress or depress you because those feelings are far worse for your health that a bit of extra weight.

    You will find your way! :flowerforyou:

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