What do you want out of life?

Some of you might know that in Nov 2012 my hubby and I completed P90X and because of my before and after pictures, I won $1,000 from Beachbody for the month of Nov for my age group. The money was nice and I felt terrific so I was satisfied with my results but, to be perfectly honest I wasn't' thrilled. I didn't see the changes I had made, only the flaws that were still there. I went on and tried Brazil Butt Lift but it wasn't for me and then I completed Chalean Extreme. I really enjoyed the workouts and even though I didn't log most of my foods, I thought I was doing good until I took my 90 day measurements and saw that I had actually lost muscle definition, talk about not realizing what you have until you lose it! When I told my hubby he said well of course; you didn't eat right (really didn't like hearing that but it was true). So after some pouting, I tried doing Body Beast to get back into things, at this time my mom who has dementia took a "BIG" turn from the worse, I have ulcerative colitis and that was full blown, so my life was crazy and I put "Me" on the back burner.

Jump forward to April: I received an email from BB stating that I'm up for a chance to win $25,000 & a trip to the Las Vegas summit; for my age group if I've maintained or improved my results from Nov. I had two weeks to submit a current picture, so what to do? I had a mole scheduled to be removed in 3 days and no workouts for 21 days after that, I could have sent a picture without the measurements, I could have explained my bloating from colitis, gave them my sad story but, instead, I took a picture (no spray tan to help definition) gave them my honest measurements and hoped for the best (I've added the pic to my profile page). As you might have guessed, I didn't get the invite. So now every time I hear "summit" it kind of burns, I think to myself; you should have pushed back the surgery, kicked butt with the workouts, got a spray tan, blah blah blah!

Now that I've had time to think about it, I don't think I pushed myself because I didn't believe in myself, I didn't want to do all the hard work only to be told "No, not good enough" but, that is the wrong attitude to have, I need to stop comparing myself to other people (models), we all have different body shapes and I really I shouldn't be doing this for anyone but "ME" first and foremost. I've started Body Beast again, this time with my hubby (who could use the support too) but this time, I'm doing it for me. I want to feel good, have more energy, plus eating clean helps with colitis and I like how I look even if it's not model perfect. I'm not sure what you'll get from all this but hopefully realize that you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to have 6 pack abs unless you want them for you! Just think about what you want, be healthy and happy with your life!