Anorexia is real. It happened to one of my own.

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ugottafriend
ugottafriend Posts: 97 Member
in Food and Nutrition
I have a distant cousin who passed away at the young age of 40. She was anorexic. People think it can't happen to them but what you don't realize is that when you're doing this to yourself, you don't get how bad off you really are. Everybody sees themselves differently than others see them so things are not always what they seem. This applies to life in general...to everyone.

Educating yourself as to what is healthy and ideal, striving to be self-aware, and being honest and rational is vital to health and well-being. Please understand that weight loss can be just as dangerous as weight gain. As with everything, moderation is the key to wellness. If you're eating very little, thinking you're doing yourself a favor, please reconsider. Amy's family tried to help her but she was too far gone...before we knew it, her organs were shutting down. She died a horrible death, alone and broken in a nursing home. She was only 40 years old with a teenage daughter. Please assess yourself, find a safe person that you can be accountable to, and make healthy, REASONABLE choices above all else.

I'm glad that MFP is here to promote and support safe and healthy practices. Thank you for reading.

-Kelli in Alabama

Replies

  • norahwynn
    norahwynn Posts: 862 Member
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    Thanks Kelli and so sorry about your loss...
  • AnsiStar
    AnsiStar Posts: 165 Member
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    I'm so sorry for you loss :(

    I have recently been battling an eating disorder associated with anorexia. It started off as just wanting to lose weight but I became obsessed and kept exercising more and eating a hell of a lot less. Doing a lot better now though.
    I'm using my desire to build muscle as a way of making myself eat more. I find people on MFP forums give healthy advice the majority of the time which is great :)
  • WillLift4Tats
    WillLift4Tats Posts: 1,699 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • kelleygi
    kelleygi Posts: 650 Member
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    It is RAMPANT on this site.............
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
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    Sorry for your loss :(

    It is real, but I have alwasy thought it to be something more common in teenage girls. This is a good eye opener that it can touch all ages.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
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    It is RAMPANT on this site.............

    Soooo true!

    And sorry for your loss.
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    I'm so sorry your family is going through this, and it's heartbreaking to hear. Thank you for this reminder.

    I used to think only certain people were vulnerable to these disorders, but when I was in my 20's -- depressed after a breakup, bad job, little money, etc. -- I started losing some weight and after a 6-month roller coaster, realized how close to spiraling down into something I came. When I was losing (probably too fast), my sadness was overlaid with this weird euphoria. I felt like SuperWoman, manic. Once my life calmed down, and I started gaining some weight back (healthily this time), I got hit like a train with another round of depression and it was all suddenly centered around feeling fat, lazy, lost. Even though I was settling back to "normal," my brain was not interpreting it that way. It was interpreting it as "You're FAT, LAZY, outta CONTROL. You suck" and it came with a big side of crazy anxiety.

    It took me about 5-6 more months to swing back to center and realize that the way my brain was processing everything during that time was way OFF. But it really made me realize how -- given the right bad set of circumstances -- your chemistry can throw you into some strange places that you may not be able to find your way out of easily. It made me appreciate how "seemingly normal / healthy girls (or boys)" can end up with eating disorders.

    I really can't say "I've been there" at ALL -- and I'm not trying to take anything from the stories directly from people who struggle with this stuff daily. It has to be terrifying to go through, and to watch someone go through. But for me, that little episode was an eye-opener, too, of how it can happen to anyone, anytime.

    Take care of yourself, and your family -- I'm sure you are all devastated. Hug your cousin's daughter tight. I can't imagine going through that as a teen. :flowerforyou:
  • ugottafriend
    ugottafriend Posts: 97 Member
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    Thank you all for the kind words.
  • christianteach
    christianteach Posts: 593 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss! Sadly, millions of people have this awful eating disorder which can be very difficult to treat.
  • destined4thinness
    destined4thinness Posts: 3
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    I'm currently in recovery, so I know what you are talking about....its more than a diet, yes, I agree, it starts off as a diet, but then it becomes more of an anxiety reducer, then you go further, body dysmorphia kicks in, and if its not caught/recovered, you are in trouble. I have been battling it for 35+ years but like you, I want to be heatlhy and have a toned not sknny, physique.
  • destined4thinness
    destined4thinness Posts: 3
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    hi Sweetheart....as you know Anorexia may have originally started as a diet; however, there was something deeper than food. Food is a manifiestation of the core issues. Psychologists state those with Alcohol, Drug and Eating disorders...and really any other addictioins, have that core issue if not treated coudl be fatal. Many addictions have crossed over , as those with substance, alcoohol, etc have crossed over to eating disorders becaue they can do the other in all/nothing. Eating has to be the worst in my eyes, (not minimalizing), because you dont' have any other addiction to survive, but you have to have food to survive, therefore you are dealing with it everytime you put a morsel in your mouth. My feeling has been that it gave me a sense of calmness when Id idnt' eat, etc....or I'm so stressed out at that moment I couldn't deal with processing what I ate, etc ....I dont have the time to do so....so yes, its a very complex disorder. I'm so sorry for your loss....

    I'm southern too..though I live in Nebraska I am from Nashville,Tennessee:)
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    Sadly, it does not only affect teenage girls. Children as young as 5, and women as old as their 50s are being diagnosed more and more often. I developed it at 13, and hit 70Ibs at 5'11 by the age of 18, with my organs shutting down, hair all over my body, my lips were blue much of the time, and the doctor, knowing little about anorexia, did nothing more than monitor me and tell my parents I would be dead within 24 hours if I didn't eat. I had whittled my intake down to half a rice cake a day. It is very, very easy, if you are that way inclined, to get hooked on the numbers game, to get hooked on the feelings of elation and perfection that come with having that degree of willpower, and to just totally lose sight of what is happening.

    Obviously, my wish to live kicked in, in time, but I will never be 100% free of ED thinking, it is a constant battle, and one reason I often do not bother asking to add people as friends, lest they do not have the patience for the bad days I get among the good. (I am a healthy weight and eating at maintenance mostly.). My anorexic turned into binge eating for a time, and then bulimia. I think it is very often a combination of perfectionist nature and a feeling of needing to have control, for one reason or another, that triggers EDs, either that or just being prone to obsessions with things, including numbers. Probably why quite a few on the autistic spectrum, higher functioning(like myself), develop EDs.

    Sorry for the loss of this lady, and hope her teenage daughter will be able to come to terms with it. It is a terrible way to die. Some just give up fighting, unable to reverse the patterns that have formed in their minds.
    I also have had several on my friend list in the recent past, whom I saw heading down that route, eating less and less each day, and knew I could not offer and support really. They have to come to that realisation themselves.
  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I'm currently in recovery, so I know what you are talking about....its more than a diet, yes, I agree, it starts off as a diet, but then it becomes more of an anxiety reducer, then you go further, body dysmorphia kicks in, and if its not caught/recovered, you are in trouble. I have been battling it for 35+ years but like you, I want to be heatlhy and have a toned not sknny, physique.

    Yes, the worst part is indeed that the further you get into it, the more you lose touch with reality, and the greater the fear becomes of any small gain in weight, any small loss of control with eating. It does mess up the brain chemistry which is a large part of what makes it that much more difficult to recover from. It was like living in a totally separate world from everyone else when I had it. I would hide in my room most of the time, checking if I could still get one hand around my thigh, checking my bones in the mirror (as I could see I was emaciated, but I did not wish to change it), screaming blue murder when my father tried to take my scale away, or tried to corner me and make me eat. I would not even have a drink without checking my weight afterwards. I was a pretty severe case, but I recovered physically quite rapidly as I went from one extreme of eating to another, due to no professional treatment.
  • astrovivi
    astrovivi Posts: 183 Member
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    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    I want everyone to know that it is possible to be 100% well again and free of this disease.
    I am very lucky to have made a full recovery and have left behind the last remnants of anorexic thinking and habits.
    But it did take many years. I succumbed to it at the age of 15 although my mother says i showed some warning signs earlier (but who knew?)
    While i recovered by the time I was in my 30s, after dropping to 38kgs, it took years to confront and defeat the persistent gnawing negative talk (that voice inside your head that every anorexic has), and the ingrained habits with regard to diet and other things.

    You make a good point that weight loss can be a dangerous game for some people.
    A strong support network is only part of the story, but a definite must have.
  • MinimalistShoeAddict
    MinimalistShoeAddict Posts: 1,946 Member
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    I am very sorry to hear about your cousin. Thanks for sharing.
  • ugottafriend
    ugottafriend Posts: 97 Member
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    I'm sorry that I was away from this thread for so long. I really appreciate everyone's input, and wish you all safe and healthy lives.

    -Kelli
  • EmilyEmpowered
    EmilyEmpowered Posts: 650 Member
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    I'm so sorry your family is going through this, and it's heartbreaking to hear. Thank you for this reminder.

    I used to think only certain people were vulnerable to these disorders, but when I was in my 20's -- depressed after a breakup, bad job, little money, etc. -- I started losing some weight and after a 6-month roller coaster, realized how close to spiraling down into something I came. When I was losing (probably too fast), my sadness was overlaid with this weird euphoria. I felt like SuperWoman, manic. Once my life calmed down, and I started gaining some weight back (healthily this time), I got hit like a train with another round of depression and it was all suddenly centered around feeling fat, lazy, lost. Even though I was settling back to "normal," my brain was not interpreting it that way. It was interpreting it as "You're FAT, LAZY, outta CONTROL. You suck" and it came with a big side of crazy anxiety.

    It took me about 5-6 more months to swing back to center and realize that the way my brain was processing everything during that time was way OFF. But it really made me realize how -- given the right bad set of circumstances -- your chemistry can throw you into some strange places that you may not be able to find your way out of easily. It made me appreciate how "seemingly normal / healthy girls (or boys)" can end up with eating disorders.

    I really can't say "I've been there" at ALL -- and I'm not trying to take anything from the stories directly from people who struggle with this stuff daily. It has to be terrifying to go through, and to watch someone go through. But for me, that little episode was an eye-opener, too, of how it can happen to anyone, anytime.

    Take care of yourself, and your family -- I'm sure you are all devastated. Hug your cousin's daughter tight. I can't imagine going through that as a teen. :flowerforyou:

    This is me soooo much. I feel lucky to have realized it before it got too bad... Even so, I do have some health issues related to that period of my life that will probably always be there for me to deal with. '

    I cant fully say I have "been there" either, but I can say that it is a scary feeling to know you are being sucked into something so hard to get out of, and I truly wish I could reach everyone on that path and try to help them. I still suffer with the self esteem issues and obsessiveness and control about my weight and weight loss in general, but not as bad as I once was and luckily can see it before it is too late.

    It is a shame that something within people can hurt them so badly that they treat themselves so horribly. I am greatly sorry for your loss

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