do you have 'people pleaser' issues?

glovepuppet
glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
in Chit-Chat
what sort of problems does it cause for you?

Replies

  • sockoholic
    sockoholic Posts: 52
    That people are pleased?
  • Snow__White
    Snow__White Posts: 1,650 Member
    lol
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    no the heck w ith them
  • runner2runner
    runner2runner Posts: 1,937 Member
    I'm a people pleaser through and through!! And yep the only problem it causes me is that people are pleased!! Yep, people being pleased is one of the biggest problems on the planet!!!!!!!!
  • sockoholic
    sockoholic Posts: 52
    I'm a people pleaser through and through!! And yep the only problem it causes me is that people are pleased!! Yep, people being pleased is one of the biggest problems on the planet!!!!!!!!

    Pleased people suck
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    i will resist the smutty innuendo.
  • hautetheory
    hautetheory Posts: 88
    I don't think I'm a people pleaser but if I give someone my word then I will do almost anything to stay true to it or at least let them know I won't be able to do whatever it is I said I would do. I really look up to my husband and admire him so I try to make him proud and really hate it when I dissapoint him. Really anyone I admire I like to please but that has helped me, not hurt me.
  • Big_Bad
    Big_Bad Posts: 57
    In some ways. I'm kinda like a teenage girl. I can't quite handle people not liking me. I've been told by my mother that eventually I'll outgrow it and not give an F what people think. Not everyone will like you. It's the way the world works.

    In some ways it's nice though to take pleasure in someone else's pleasure. Especially from a BDSM perspective.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    I will be polite to a reasonable point but 99/100 times I will call people out if they overstep.
  • toaster6
    toaster6 Posts: 703 Member
    Not in the slightest.
  • LoraleiDean
    LoraleiDean Posts: 100
    Probably, and also I've been brought up to be sickeningly polite, result is I get walked over then I get angry and have a tendency to completely snap and shock most people, then feel terribly guilty for about an hour.

    ^This!
    I've had this problem for many years, starting with how I was raised (by a 50s Mom). I treat others SO well, that they start to treat me like a servant/slave, make derogatory remarks, and get angry with me when I can't read their minds.
    A psychoanalyst could spend their life on, and make a fortune off of, me!
  • Microfiber
    Microfiber Posts: 956 Member
    I really look up to my husband and admire him so I try to make him proud and really hate it when I dissapoint him.

    Sweet
  • Iron_Duchess
    Iron_Duchess Posts: 429 Member
    I am a people pleaser and it causes me all kinds of trouble, especially because most take advantage and I end up getting hurt. I don't know how to say no, therefore everybody asks for favors, I cook for most family gathering, my house is used for most holidays, family is always asking for $, I do all the travel arrangements for family and friends, and online shopping. Now when I need something only my mom is available... Sigh. The problem is that, like I said, I always say yes because is the way I show that I care.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    I am a people pleaser and it causes me all kinds of trouble, especially because most take advantage and I end up getting hurt. I don't know how to say no, therefore everybody asks for favors, I cook for most family gathering, my house is used for most holidays, family is always asking for $, I do all the travel arrangements for family and friends, and online shopping. Now when I need something only my mom is available... Sigh. The problem is that, like I said, I always say yes because is the way I show that I care.
    this is what i've seen. if everyone were like you then the world would be fabulous, but for every person like you there seems to be several who will happily take advantage.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    i'm getting better at protecting my time when someone wants it for something i see as not urgent, but find it hard to refuse requests for help that's genuinely needed when it conflicts with something i have to do.

    (or even non-urgent requests from people who are vulnerable or having a rough time.)
  • DYfive
    DYfive Posts: 491 Member
    Yeah, I'm definitely a people pleaser. And it's gotten so bad in the past couple years that I've developed some anxiety issues!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I am with my roommates, because it makes life more pleasant for me if they're happy. This means I have to clean up after them more than I should.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Yeah, I'm definitely a people pleaser. And it's gotten so bad in the past couple years that I've developed some anxiety issues!
    how so?
  • PamelaGatorMom
    PamelaGatorMom Posts: 348 Member
    I use to be a people pleaser... well I guess I still am since I'm the one always trying to "fix" things but I will say as I've gotten older I've learned to say "no" more often so that I'm not being used and also I've learned that I'm important too and there are times that I need to please myself before I worry about others.
  • DYfive
    DYfive Posts: 491 Member
    I've always had a problem with worrying and ulcers. Recently though, I've noticed when I start stressing about stuff, and people, I just feel generally terrible.

    For example. Big family vacation coming up on Friday, multiple families car pooling. And today I all the sudden noticed I just started feeling like crap and realized it's because I'm worried about people getting upset on the vacation.

    Even to me it's completely silly and dumb. But I guess I still worry! idk!
  • AB4u
    AB4u Posts: 57 Member
    Oh this is totally me. It stresses me out if I don't make a good first impression, I need to be well liked, if I'm not it bothers me.

    I was also raised to be extremely polite and somewhat selfless. Its a bad thing because I become passive aggressive. As I think others will return the favours in the future, and when they don't and keep demanding things from me, I eventually snap. And as others mentioned above, people are very surprised when i do snap as they had no idea they were bothering me.

    its a problem lol
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    I've always had a problem with worrying and ulcers. Recently though, I've noticed when I start stressing about stuff, and people, I just feel generally terrible.

    For example. Big family vacation coming up on Friday, multiple families car pooling. And today I all the sudden noticed I just started feeling like crap and realized it's because I'm worried about people getting upset on the vacation.

    Even to me it's completely silly and dumb. But I guess I still worry! idk!
    it's not dumb.
    making yourself ill fretting over their happiness is no more dumb than depression.
    you can see from this thread that other decent, intelligent people have similar issues.
  • JBApplebee
    JBApplebee Posts: 481 Member
    The only people I need to please are me & my own. My wife will always worry about what other people think & it drives me sane! If people don't like me that's their problem. I won't go out of my way to be a richard, & I'm very tolerant, but only up to a point.

    If you try to please everyone, you will never succeed.

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