"You look horrible"

pinkraynedropjacki
pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
in Motivation and Support
Yep that's what I was tol yesterday. "You should stop losing weight cause you look horrible now"....despite the fact I'm steady on 60kg & fine with that. I'm 5'3" and still have a little way I'd like to get yet but I'm toned & fit as I can ever get. I've lost just on 80lbs, most of that was in the 1st 7 months I was even trying...since then it's been slow but ok by me. Now I just look stronger & healthier. My ideal weight is 55kg... even then being small framed I would still look ok at 50kg.

Yet here was this person who would be lucky to walk around a basketball without being puffed out telling ME I look horrid & need to stop?

:mad: Some people just need to STFU already. I didn't ask for the opinion nor was I even interested...... just pisses me off. I worked damn hard to get to the level I'm at.


/vent.

Replies

  • Mario_Az
    Mario_Az Posts: 1,331 Member
    don't listen to them do it till you are satisfied
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    A lot of times, people need to justify in their own heads why they don't need to lose weight. If you look "terrible", it justifies their own bad decisions. It's frustrating, I understand. I've received a lot of variations on that over the past year ("You're too skinny", "You can't be healthy at that weight", "I thought you looked better before you lost weight") and I'ev had to learn to shrug it off. My opinion is the only one that matters, and I think I am awesome. That means I am awesome. And that's a good feeling.
  • Tonia184
    Tonia184 Posts: 94 Member
    Congratulations on the awesome job. Just don't let the haters get you down. I am also 5'3" and curently weigh 58kgs. My aim to to get to about 53Kgs which has proven to be quite a battle. I am quite tired of people telling me that my *kitten* needs its own zipcode. I decidedly a pear and there's nothing I can do about my *kitten* seeming to large for the rest of me.

    I am currently doing insanity and have just above 2 weeks left on it. I have to say it hasn't done much for me in terms of reaching my GW but it has definitely improved my endurance. What are you currently doing to achieve your goals?

    Awesome job and keep it up!
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
    Had a quick peek at your profile pics and you look great!
  • KatManx
    KatManx Posts: 168 Member
    I find that when people are negative towards you if its becuase you have lost weight, or wearing something different etc, it stems from jealously and the fact they don't have the willpower or balls to do it.
    Ignor the haters, its what you think and feel that matters, bugger everyone else.

    :) Kat x
  • debi_f
    debi_f Posts: 330 Member
    I was told the same thing! A bunch of us moms were waiting to pick up our kids after school, and one of the others mentioned that I'd lost a lot of weight.

    I smiled and said "thanks" all pleased that someone said something, but then she kept going. "But you've gone to far. You looked good a few months ago, but now.. Well, don't you think you've lost too much?"

    Talk about a big deflating statement! I'm toned (or at least working on being more toned), but I know I look good in these jeans, and I'm not gaunt or anything.

    Now I just stand with a different group of moms. ;-)
  • carolyn0613
    carolyn0613 Posts: 162 Member
    I find that when people are negative towards you if its becuase you have lost weight, or wearing something different etc, it stems from jealously and the fact they don't have the willpower or balls to do it.
    Ignor the haters, its what you think and feel that matters, bugger everyone else.

    :) Kat x

    THis

    They are simply jealous. Also, for all they know you might be losing weight for health reasons and don't care about how you look and are now healthy instead of dangerously overweight (not looked so this is not specific to you!!)

    I think your loss on your ticker is amazing - ESPECIALLY since it is in kg which are heavier than lbs!!!!

    Tell that negative Norman that he looks horrible!
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Jealous much?

    I looked at your profile photos, WOW!!!! what an amazing transformation! Congratulations!!!

    Sometimes people have a hard time adjusting to the new slimmer and healthier person that we are becoming, and they don't know how to handle it and say inappropriate things.

    Just do what you are doing and to those people, just smile and wave :)
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 836 Member
    80lbs is a huge amount! Way to go! Very proud of that effort! I too sneaked a look at your pictures and think you look great!

    I think sometimes peoples idea of how we look in there head no longer matches how we look now - (especially 80lbs worth!) the person who said this may be thinking you are looking a little on the gaunt side or compared to how this person remembers you you may be super skinny! I would have turned around and said "so do you, lose the basketball!"

    I think you look fantastic and you should just ignore this person :)
  • RoseDarrett
    RoseDarrett Posts: 355 Member
    Don't let it get to you. I lost the 20 kilos I gained after bub and was 51 kilos before that. Had certain family and friends telling me." Oh dear ,there'll be nothing of you left. Or the " You're starting to look sick.

    Many other comments. It used to get to me,at times it still does. I am nowhere near looking sick,or wasting away.
    People are funny with weight loss. Like your weight loss somehow affects them,or their opinion is needed. I just keep doing what I'm doing.

    You've done really well. Don't worry about them.
  • JudieJudes
    JudieJudes Posts: 174 Member
    Hi Pink

    That is just plain rude and ignorant - it could be they are projecting their feelings about their own body image onto you :wink:
  • MySlimGoals
    MySlimGoals Posts: 754 Member
    You need to trust in yourself and what you want and ignore any negative comments from her. From what you said she is overweight so she may have issues judging what a normal weight is meant to be. It sounds like you've got your head straight on though. If you get below the normal BMI THEN you need to start listening to other people - but at the moment go with the weight loss until you are satisfied - and hopefully that will happen sometime within the normal BMI range.
  • TruckersWifeTruckersLife
    TruckersWifeTruckersLife Posts: 408 Member
    dam u look good girl hope i look that good when i get to my goal weight tell them to build a bridge and get over it
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    Some people feel like its their right to comment on your body. I once had a fairly elderly man in the gym come up to me and tell me I was 'lovely' and not to 'ruin' the way I look by lifting heavy weights. Ignore them.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    I find that when people are negative towards you if its becuase you have lost weight, or wearing something different etc, it stems from jealously and the fact they don't have the willpower or balls to do it.
    Ignor the haters, its what you think and feel that matters, bugger everyone else.

    :) Kat x
    yes, this.

    but it's very rude to say that you look "horrible". it's one thing if someone is concerned about your health. but there are nicer ways to ask

    and WOW you look amazing! kudos on your amazing journey!
  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
    I get the 'you should stop' thing from men, women just ignore the problem.
  • pinkraynedropjacki
    pinkraynedropjacki Posts: 3,027 Member
    Normally I would have just ignored it, but damn this person was hating on me when I was 95kg telling me "If I just lost some weight" and now this.... well it's not the 1st time from this person but damn...it's no pleasing anyone. Not that I'm out to please anyone but me :)
  • Lysander666
    Lysander666 Posts: 275 Member
    Envy at its deepest level. Pure and simple.
  • Mslibb
    Mslibb Posts: 69 Member
    Gosh, what a blunt and mean thing to say! I think you look incredible - well done on your amazing progress :)

    I've recently had two people say that I should stop losing weight now or I will get too skinny (thankfully they haven't worded it quite so rudely as your 'friend'). It's quite surprising to hear people say things like that when you're not at your goal weight yet, isn't it? (Particularly surprising in my case as I'm still in the upper end of the unhealthy BMI range!)

    I was wondering if people make those types of comments because they're afraid they won't recognise us anymore, or perhaps they just don't deal with change very well, and so they don't want to see any drastic changes in the people around them? In my case, I certainly don't think they're jealous - but I am fascinated in why they think I should stop losing weight when I'm still quite overweight. I have never heard them tell any of the people who are thinner than me that they're too skinny and should put on weight! :laugh:

    I'm lucky enough to also have heaps of wonderful and encouraging people around me, who tell me I'm doing a great job and to 'keep up the good work' - I hope you have some of those as well. If so, try to concentrate on their comments and not on that nasty, deflating one - you really have achieved something fantastic! :smile:
  • proudandprejudiced
    proudandprejudiced Posts: 127
    OOH the cheek of that! That's just nasty. Why do people think it's ok to insult thin bodies but telling someone they're fat is really offensive? People should keep thoughts like that to themselves. Don't listen to anyone else, it's your body, your happiness, your choice! Screw them, if they're carrying a few extra pounds themselves it sounds a lot like jealousy.
  • Pandora1987
    Pandora1987 Posts: 1 Member
    I know its easy to say but hard to do, but it shouldnt matter what anyone else thinks of you, its what you think of yourself. As long as you are happy with what you are doing and doing it for the right reasons then its no one else's place to comment.

    Never mind that most negative comments are fueled by jealousy... chin up chic :) x
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
    Jealousy. Are you doing it for other people or yourself? As long as you are happy and you know you are healthy, sod what people think!
  • kathymhardy
    kathymhardy Posts: 267 Member
    OMG, you look absolutely amazing!!! You have done sooooo well!! Take no notice of the person who said you look horrible. YOU DO NOT!! I can only say that they are jealous of you. Fact! You carry on with what is comfortable for you and disregard that horrible person.
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    First off congratulations on your loss and your determination! You have done an amazing job as your pictures show. I can relate to that experience. I was told " dont lose any more weight because you look gaunt and sick now". I said thank you for your concern, i got this. Then i said to myself ( since this was a customer)..good thing i dont give a crap what you think of me. Seems everyone has more concern to tell you how you look when you lose than when you are fat.

    When people having something negative to say try not to even have a conversation. Its your body and you know you are doing the right thing for it. If the person truly cares about you they will def word it alot better than that.

    YOU are doing a fantastic job!! Keep it up and i know its hard but, try not to let the negative people in.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Normally I would have just ignored it, but damn this person was hating on me when I was 95kg telling me "If I just lost some weight" and now this.... well it's not the 1st time from this person but damn...it's no pleasing anyone. Not that I'm out to please anyone but me :)
    wait wait wait - the SAME person told you looked bad when you were at 95, and now is telling you look horrible?

    Kick his/her sorry behind to the curb!

    If this person is a friend - then you need new friends!

    You are doing great and look amazing
  • NoelleS85
    NoelleS85 Posts: 89
    Stop caring so much about what other think - there will always be people commenting and saying stupid things, no matter what size you are!

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