NEED HELP! Need to loose 120 lbs, have no support...

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sindeesluv
sindeesluv Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
Okay, so I need to lose 120 pounds. I have a long way to go. I feel scared and frustrated. My husband is very thin and lean, and he does not understand. I cant cook two separate meals at home and I have no one to encourage me. I want to get healthy for my daughter and myself. I just don't know what to do and feel lost. I have no friends to diet with. Someone PLEASE tell me what to do.
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  • wilsoje74
    wilsoje74 Posts: 1,720 Member
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    Can everyone eat healthy? Just don't buy unhealthy food! Even if he's thin he can eat better. Take it one day at a time, log your food every day, and gradually start exercising. Couch to 5k is a great and free way to get moving.
  • KimLee76
    KimLee76 Posts: 89
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    Been there. It does feel overwhelming when you have a whole person to lose. I'd first recommend putting the total number of pounds out of your mind and breaking it down into smaller amounts like 20 lbs at a time. That's a good amount because it should get you into the next clothing number size down so you get a bonus reward.

    I also agree with the previous poster about cooking healthier meals. Just make sure your husband gets larger portions so everyone can be happy. (Honestly, I'd be tempted to try to fatten him up lol.)

    You can get started with exercising just by walking. There are all sorts of approaches you could take to it, but I find the best results from doing at least 30 continuous minutes no matter how slowly - just keep moving continuously.

    You can do this! Take it one day at a time and don't get discouraged when you mess up and you will because we all do. Just pick yourself up and carry on with the plan the next day.
  • sprintto50
    sprintto50 Posts: 410 Member
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    You can do this. I agree with a previous poster that smaller goals are the key to not being overwhelmed. Ten pounds at a time is a doable goal. And yes, everyone can eat healthy. I prepare healthy meals and if my husband would like treats or junk food, he goes out and gets them. I just say no, most of the time.
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
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    I say with all kindness-- you CAN make 2 different meals. As a mom of 3 kids, married to a caveman (and not in a good way), I used to work all day and then cook for 2 vegetarian teens, 2 meat-n-potatos "men," and for myself who fell somewhere in the middle. With a bit of ingenuity-- and if it's important enough to you-- it can be done.

    For example, I used to make meat sauce for spaghetti for the boys, and for myself, put the sauce over Trader Joes skinny frozen green beans (cooked of course), which was delicious!

    You really can do it.
  • airforcewife1007
    airforcewife1007 Posts: 35 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel! My hubby is in the military, so he's very fit and active. And all my friends are thin already. I have about 145 or so to lose, but I've found great support here. I'll add you, and you can feel free to send me a message whenever :)
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    Here is the way it went in my house.

    I buy the groceries and cook. If you do not like what I buy and cook, you are welcomed to buy your own groceries and cook your own food. Guess what? Husband even orders healthy food when he is out of town now.

    Of course I was in my 30s before I got married and pretty much had learned what I was and was not going to put up with, so I was able to stand up for myself. I hope you can too.
  • goldfinger88
    goldfinger88 Posts: 686 Member
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    Lots of us have absolutely no support. I've had none in my long road to getting to the right weight for me. But I've had the encouragement and friendship of a few very special people here and that was enough. In fact, it's great to have such wonderful friends. And I do consider them friends.

    I've chosen (and a few chose me) just a handful of really special people and not a lot of just names. The point is, that's something you might try. And you have to be willing to offer support too because this is a two-way street. Other people need you as much as you need them.

    I know it's hard to have a husband who is not supportive and of course you can't cook two meals. You may have to set him down and tell him that you need him to work "with" you in your weight loss effort and your road ahead. If he loves you, he'll work with you. And, you can fix your personal meals and snacks ahead as much as you can.

    If he eats bad foods, let him. That's his choice. But there's no law that says you must eat as he does.

    This is no time for excuses. If you want to lose the weight, you have to think of "you" and do what's best for you. You have to be selfish. Having that much weight is extremely dangerous. I'm sure you know that. So, it's a fight for your life. Don't let other people dictate to you. And find some good pals on here who will support you. Reach out to them and don't wait for them to reach out to you.
  • coco3382458
    coco3382458 Posts: 296 Member
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    my hubby was not interested in a healthy life syle when I started this. But after he saw how good my meals were and tries everything he decided to get on board and now even works out with me which is a miracle. You dont have to servce tofu on a rice cracker every night. Just use different ingredients to make less calories out of it and you dont even have to tell him he is eating healthy :)
  • Georgianbaygirl67
    Georgianbaygirl67 Posts: 97 Member
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    You can add me if you like! I'm a Mom to 3, and have been doing this just over 70 days. I have tried once before on MFP, but this is the first time I have had 'friends'. It does work- really!
    I have over 80 pounds to lose. My husband just lost 50, making almost no lifestyle changes. It is incredibly frustrating- wish it was that easy for me!
  • lbowman32
    lbowman32 Posts: 8
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    Amen!!
  • jcwandel
    jcwandel Posts: 8 Member
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    You can do this! Like others have said, break it down into chunks and start to celebrate your progress. If you can get out, try to find an in-person support group, such as Overeater's Annoymous, which is free. I have a friend who just lost 150 pounds....It took about 18 months but she is doing great. You can do this! Envision it and believe it and it **will** happen!
  • Kushy8
    Kushy8 Posts: 103 Member
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    Feel free to add me!
    I have about 65 to lose.
    I log in everyday and look forward to us encouraging and motivating one another!
  • mrsjay4life
    mrsjay4life Posts: 34 Member
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    I am very happy you have reached out for help and I definately
    understand what you are going through. I am in the same boat but
    I had to do what need to be done for me! So what I did was cooked
    one pot but I ate more vegetables with my meats. At the end of the day
    I was full and they were happy. Then I started making more healthier
    meals just so you know when using MFP its a life style change. And
    Not a diet so soon enough he wont even realize how much healthier
    he has been eating and everyone is happy. So when you are shopping
    buy more healthy snacks for your snacking pleasure. In the last 4 months
    I have lose weight and am closer to my goal thx for all the lovely
    People I have met on MFP that encourages me daily. And you can do it too!
    Feel free to add me once you are serious good luck!
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,022 Member
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    feel free to add me if you want support is important. I started MFP in july 2010 and have lost 114lbs since . I cook healthy meals for everyone, my kids and husband get bigger portions sometimes they get dinner rolls which I dont always eat . when i make baked sweet potatoes i make regular baked potatoes for the kids they dont like sweet potatoes, As for snacks I buy the kids snacks that do not tempt me, ex I dont like mint so mint chocolate chip cookies do not tempt me, I also dont like cheese puffs. So they still get snacks that they like.
    When I started 100 plus lbs seemed impossible so I just concentrated on 10 lbs at a time and for every 10 lbs I bought myself a new pair of earrings, You can do it, just stick with it and dont give up
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I make 2 different meals nearly every day. :) Tonight, I made my b/f baked trout and I had broccoli quiche. We both had the same vegetable...spinach. But he had potato salad and I didn't. It CAN be done. And my b/f is one of those lean guys too. :)
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
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    :) add me girl, I have 150lbs to loose and started at needing to loose 180!!! I have 1 1/2 people I need to loose on myself, so you are not alone with needing to loose a huge amount. Its 1 day at a time, if you need to slowly move your WHOLE family into healthier, add more veggies and salads to a portion size of meat. With my husband it has to have meat or he won't be happy! LOL, which is fine with me as I need to eat some meat to but I eat smaller portion as I am very picky with my meats. Its easy to make two different meals :) just use the same ingredients for the meal your making for hubby. What I do is I changed everything to homemade no boxed foods ( other than mac & cheese, will not give that up LOL, but I go Organic) It does take a little longer to prepare but I figure we work hard so we deserve the best food health wise as possible!

    Also to be successful you need to knock that fear away or its going to be that little voice in the back of your ear whispering "You can't do it." I know this from experience. You knock it down with a sledge hammer and you get pals who build you up and show you, you are AMAZING and CAN DO IT!! Just takes determination and great friends!!
  • marc8686
    marc8686 Posts: 199 Member
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    I have apx 180 lbs to go on my journey, posting encouragements on YouTube multiple times a week. Feel free to subscribe to get some updates. I guarantee if I can do it so can you! Search YouTube for "adams fitness journey" by marcus adams
  • kburrows82
    kburrows82 Posts: 49 Member
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    I totally understand how you feel. I have about 150lbs to lose and my fiance is tall and skinny. He can eat anything and if I just look at food I will gain weight. I would be happy to help be a support system for you on MFP if you would like to add me as a friend :) You can lose weight and get healthier just believe in yourself and remember that it will not happen over night :)

    P.S.
    If anyone else would like to add me feel free as well
  • mainey65
    mainey65 Posts: 342 Member
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    I have found SO MUCH support on this site, and you will too! Make friends, get into a group of people simillar to you and you will find the support you are looking for! I joined MFP about 2 yrs ago and was lucky enough to get into a group of women who are wonderful. They have been there to support me in not just my weight loss journey, but my ups and downs in life too. I also have A LOT of weight to lose (I weighed over 300 llbs when I joined MFP) I just try to focus on losing 20 lbs at a time and forget that I have SO MUCH to lose. You CAN and WILL do this! Good Luck!
  • mainey65
    mainey65 Posts: 342 Member
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    feel free to add me if you want support is important. I started MFP in july 2010 and have lost 114lbs since . I cook healthy meals for everyone, my kids and husband get bigger portions sometimes they get dinner rolls which I dont always eat . when i make baked sweet potatoes i make regular baked potatoes for the kids they dont like sweet potatoes, As for snacks I buy the kids snacks that do not tempt me, ex I dont like mint so mint chocolate chip cookies do not tempt me, I also dont like cheese puffs. So they still get snacks that they like.
    When I started 100 plus lbs seemed impossible so I just concentrated on 10 lbs at a time and for every 10 lbs I bought myself a new pair of earrings, You can do it, just stick with it and dont give up

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