anyone else have a picky eater
mykahlio1
Posts: 40 Member
anyone else out there with a picky eater in the house making it difficult to eat healthy? my 8 year old step son is here for the summer and his dad and i are just starting to try and get healthy and fit . he is so picky and constantly wants to eat but wants to dictate what we eat . i need help finding food he will eat thats still good for the rest of us.
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My wife! i've been trying to diet and its hard cuz she says that i won't eat what she makes and well its true because she only wants thing with butter, grease or fast food... ugh... i wish she was the fitness type also..0
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Feed the kid the same thing you are eating. When he gets hungry enough, he'll start eating it too. Not that you shouldn't try different healthy options to find something that he does like, but at the end of the day you are the adult and he doesn't get to dictate what happens around the house.
What types of things does he want to eat?0 -
Feed the kid the same thing you are eating. When he gets hungry enough, he'll start eating it too. Not that you shouldn't try different healthy options to find something that he does like, but at the end of the day you are the adult and he doesn't get to dictate what happens around the house.
What types of things does he want to eat?
thats awesome advice...0 -
My mom had a rule in our house, "If you don't eat what is served, then you don't eat." It worked out well for us. Maybe sit and have a family discussion, explain to him how important it is to eat healthy. You can come up with a shopping list together, and perhaps if he wants to he can help with the cooking part too. Might help if he feels involved and part of everything. Good luck!!0
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Sit and talk with him about what he likes and dislikes. Try to find a way to cook what he likes in a healthy way. You can also have him go to store with you, and pick himself snacks, that are just for him , it makes them feel they are in control. Good luck....0
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I make sure to offer dishes of raw veggies I know the picky kid likes with meals. Be consistent.0
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A thought we do here is Try it Tuesdays. When we shop during the weekend I let my kids pick out something they haven't tried yet or haven't had a lot of. I then try to let them help in the prep of that meal. It has encouraged them to try lots of new things while still feeling in control. My boy has fallen in love with radishes and my girl digs on zucchini and brussel sprouts. I keep offering them good things the other days, they can take it or leave it, eventually they will be hungry enough to give in.
However I know there are just some things my kids wont eat. My boy will not touch meatloaf, not even for a crisp $20. End of the world and starving I still don't think he would eat it. My daughter isn't much for bread, she picks apart sandwiches, burgers, doesn't eat the flour shell on a taco.
Hope you find a good balance.0 -
Ditto Tim
Involve him in the process - going to buy the groceries with you, picking recipes, maybe give him some simple jobs to help with preparing meals.
Give him either/or choices for things you think he might resist. "We're going to have xyz for dinner tonight - We can either have broccoli or green beans on the side"0 -
he wants to eat constantly . for example the other night i made a lean meatloaf for dinner along with green beans with bacon and onion and fried potatoes all appropriate sized portions. he didnt want the meatloaf and basically gave it to the dog he complained about the onion in the green beans etc. i barely got the dishes done from dinner and a quick shower in and he was in our room talking about can i have a snack. i get so frustrated i just busted my fanny cooking a healthy dinner for us and i did dishes and i want to relax and he wants to eat again . he wants to get chips or candy or cookies from the pantry were trying to teach him your snack can be fruits and veggies too. we all watch movies or tv together in our room and if he brings the junk food into the bedroom my hubby will start eating it and then the next thing i know im doing it too.0
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it's a long process. start by slowly introducing the new lifestyle instead of from 0 - 100
my little brother is EXTREMELY picky.. and loves his sugar!..
at first he wouldn't even touch anything green, no lettuce, vegs, didn't want fruits and anything brown instead of white was the devil..
it took a long time but we would slowly get him used to it by taking baby steps.
he still doesn't eat very healthy but more balanced.
we started by making salad (he only eats iceberg, nothing dark green or red) but add a yogurt sauce and some corn that gave it a sweet taste.. then swap the nutella for peanut butter and the toast for whole grain toast. the whole milk he would have with his unhealthy cereal for skimmed one. for lunch & dinner he was forced to eat a proper meal, therefore could have a little desert afterwards.
i would say, it is still a pretty bad diet now (and whenever i'm around my mom and him have to here my lectures lol) but it is more balanced afterall..0 -
Feed the kid the same thing you are eating. When he gets hungry enough, he'll start eating it too. Not that you shouldn't try different healthy options to find something that he does like, but at the end of the day you are the adult and he doesn't get to dictate what happens around the house.
What types of things does he want to eat?
That's the rule in my house, with two little kids. That said, though, I try to include something at each meal that they would like so that if they don't like the whole meal, there is still something for them to eat. It's my job to put food on the table that I am comfortable with them eating, it's their job to eat it.0 -
Did he at least try the food? Something I do with my daughter (granted, she's only 2 1/2, not 8) is that she has to take a bite of everything. If she really doesn't like it I won't force her to eat it all, but she has to try a bite. Quite often that first bite leads to more, on the days when she is feeling picky.
I also like all the suggestions for involving him in the cooking and food buying process.0 -
he wants to eat constantly . for example the other night i made a lean meatloaf for dinner along with green beans with bacon and onion and fried potatoes all appropriate sized portions. he didnt want the meatloaf and basically gave it to the dog he complained about the onion in the green beans etc. i barely got the dishes done from dinner and a quick shower in and he was in our room talking about can i have a snack. i get so frustrated i just busted my fanny cooking a healthy dinner for us and i did dishes and i want to relax and he wants to eat again . he wants to get chips or candy or cookies from the pantry were trying to teach him your snack can be fruits and veggies too. we all watch movies or tv together in our room and if he brings the junk food into the bedroom my hubby will start eating it and then the next thing i know im doing it too.
The snacking thing is normal for kids - especially for growing boys. Cut him some slack in that area.
As far as everything else, you set the rules. He eats what is served, and if he doesn't, he doesn't get snacks later. You can also set a rule that he gets only 1 "treat" food per day and has to eat plenty of other healthy stuff too.0 -
he tasted some of it but this is a nightly thing it drives me crazy . he takes a few bites says he doesnt like it and then less than an hour later wants a snack. some people cater to picky eaters and i refuse to do that . i cook one dinner and you eat it and thats it im not going to seperate certain things out and cook them seperatly or serve multiple dinners my life is to busy to do that and personally i cant stand it when people do that to there kids . its pretty simple this is dinner the end ! he tells me dont put this on his food or dont do that i cook everything together and the whole meal is seasoned together so he has to learn to eat it. im constantly stuck fighting with him to eat and have to yell to my hubby who is usually in the other room by this time to back me up.0
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You are asking a child who is coming into your house to eat what you like. This is not what he is used to eating. You cannot expect him to change his tastes to satisfy your quest. Yes, it would be much easier on you if he ate what you made, but that is not going to be the case. He obviously does not know how to make good choices and that comes through education. You need to meet this child halfway. Make plain green beans for him by keeping some aside when you are going to add things. I love meatloaf, yet not one of my five children would consider eating it. To them it looked like dog food. Everyone has different tastes especially when they are not raised in the household.
Find what he likes that is within reason and make it. This is not any different than if you had your mother or father living with you who had special dietary needs. You would make sure their needs were met. Yet, we assume that children should eat whatever is placed in front of them. Think about something you loathe and decide whether or not you could bring yourself to eat it if it was placed in front of you.
I have a 7 year old grandson. I know what he likes to eat. When I make something that is not what he really likes, I do make something he likes and then I also put a little of what I made also on his plate. I ask him to try it and usually he does. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to eat it.
As for the chips and candy, those are only brought into the house in moderation. We always have popcorn, apples, bananas, berries, and his favorite ice cream. I actually make sure he has a fruit with every meal and when he is hungry, a fruit always accompanies popcorn or chips (if we have them) or even chips and salsa. I also bought an m&m dispenser at the flea market last year for a quarter. I keep it filled and on the television. It dispenses maybe 6 m&ms at a time. He will go and get a few, every once in a while. At first he went though the candy quickly. Now that he knows it's there and he can have it, he may grab some once a day or so.
Also, when kids are getting ready for a growth spurt, they eat a whole lot. They can walk away full from the table and within a half hour be asking for something else to eat. There are times when I think my grandson has eaten enough to explode, but it is just his body getting prepared.0 -
He's 8 so keep some stuff in the house that can be easily heated for him, chicken nuggets hot dogs, whatever he likes but doesn't require a whole cooking proces. Don't let it derail your goals. He obviously doesn't spend a ton of time in the house so not sure you can sway him in a few weeks to change his eating habits but try to encourage him to try new things. Like one new thing a day and make a game of it. You might find him picking healthy stuff on his own.0
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You are asking a child who is coming into your house to eat what you like. This is not what he is used to eating. You cannot expect him to change his tastes to satisfy your quest. Yes, it would be much easier on you if he ate what you made, but that is not going to be the case. He obviously does not know how to make good choices and that comes through education. You need to meet this child halfway. Make plain green beans for him by keeping some aside when you are going to add things. I love meatloaf, yet not one of my five children would consider eating it. To them it looked like dog food. Everyone has different tastes especially when they are not raised in the household.
Find what he likes that is within reason and make it. This is not any different than if you had your mother or father living with you who had special dietary needs. You would make sure their needs were met. Yet, we assume that children should eat whatever is placed in front of them. Think about something you loathe and decide whether or not you could bring yourself to eat it if it was placed in front of you.
I have a 7 year old grandson. I know what he likes to eat. When I make something that is not what he really likes, I do make something he likes and then I also put a little of what I made also on his plate. I ask him to try it and usually he does. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to eat it.
As for the chips and candy, those are only brought into the house in moderation. We always have popcorn, apples, bananas, berries, and his favorite ice cream. I actually make sure he has a fruit with every meal and when he is hungry, a fruit always accompanies popcorn or chips (if we have them) or even chips and salsa. I also bought an m&m dispenser at the flea market last year for a quarter. I keep it filled and on the television. It dispenses maybe 6 m&ms at a time. He will go and get a few, every once in a while. At first he went though the candy quickly. Now that he knows it's there and he can have it, he may grab some once a day or so.
Also, when kids are getting ready for a growth spurt, they eat a whole lot. They can walk away full from the table and within a half hour be asking for something else to eat. There are times when I think my grandson has eaten enough to explode, but it is just his body getting prepared.
Agree!0 -
He's 8 so keep some stuff in the house that can be easily heated for him, chicken nuggets hot dogs, whatever he likes but doesn't require a whole cooking proces. Don't let it derail your goals. He obviously doesn't spend a ton of time in the house so not sure you can sway him in a few weeks to change his eating habits but try to encourage him to try new things. Like one new thing a day and make a game of it. You might find him picking healthy stuff on his own.
I respectfully disagree. Why should she cook a separate meal (even if it is easily prepared like processed foods)? Why should she give into his demands and give him unhealthy foods? I don't understand..... she is making real, healthy foods. Why shouldn't he be expected to eat it? it's not like he's allergic to anything she is giving him.
On the snacking thing.... that drives me nuts at times, too. If my kids eat a full meal and are hungry a bit later, then I give them as healthy a snack as possible at the moment. BUT if they didn't eat their dinner, or only ate a few bites of something, I am not giving them a snack shortly after. Nope, go hungry. You made the choice to not eat the meal, you made the choice to go hungry for a bit. If it's been two hours since the meal, I'll give them a small snack.0 -
My children are 11 and 12. They are both some what fussy especially when it comes to vegetables or sauces. The 11 year old will eat some vegetables but hates anything with spice. We have a house rule that everything on the plate must be at tried and then they can pick what items they want to eat. I expect a pile of picked off ingredients most nights but sometimes they surprise me and eat something I thought they wouldn't. Very occasionally I will offer an alternative meal like if we are having a very spicy dish but usually they eat what we do. I have a sign in the kitchen that reads "today's menu options are: take it or leave it" :laugh: It is a matter of time and adjustment. I wouldn't expect the child to embrace everything you make but over time you may see his eating habits change. I try to have at least one thing on the plate that I know my children will eat and we have a treat night once a week where we have pizza or something less healthy.0
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I don't mean this critically, but I get the impression you don't know much about kids. A kid that asks to snack all the time is totally normal. Think about when you were a kid. You probably had breakfast, a snack at school, lunch at school, a snack when you can home, dinner, and probably desert or another snack in the evening, or maybe both. You eat less at meals, but more often. An 8 year old needs like 1500-1800 calories, depending on their size and activity level. Depending on your dietary goals, this kid could easily be eating hundreds of calories more than you every day.
Also, kids have different taste palettes than adults. It isn't until teen years that they start to develop the ability to taste foods like you do. Sweet is one thing that tastes really good to them. Onions, generally, are not. I don't know many kids who like onions, even of they are good eaters. So, for example, with those green beans you made, you could either leave them out so everyone is happy (green beans are perfectly healthy, after all, without the onions) or you could cut the onions big enough to easily pick out or you can leave part of the dish without onions. I thinkits reasonable to serve him dinner and expect that he tries it. You can even have a rule that he has to eat five bites of something before he decides if he likes it or not. Just don't be surprised when there are things he dislikes. Just as there are plenty of things you probably dislike too. You arent asking a lot to have him eat healthy meals with the family, but you are kind of asking a lot if you arent willing to compromise at all. If he doesn't like quiche, but will happily eat omelets without complaint, I'd say pick your battles.
I'd also enforce a rule that he can't call things gross or disgusting. Its rude to people who enjoy those things. Instead, he can say he doesn't care for it or something similar.
As for snacks, let him have one sweet treat (or maybe two mini ones) per day. Other than that, keep a variety of snacks that you don't mind having, but it can't really be just fruit. String cheese, flavored rice cakes, crackers and peanut butter, animal crackers, popcorn, goldfish crackers, pretzels, popsicles, pudding packs or jello, trail/snack mix, etc. If you're concerned about you and your husbands self control, parcel it all out into individual serving sizes for him in snack-sized zip lock baggies. When he gets one, your husband will be less inclined to snack because the kid will probably be less inclined to share.
Just keep in mind he is a kid. Regardless of what he is eating, he isn't accountable for what you and your husband choose to eat. By which I mean, if he and your husband choose to eat ice cream out of the container in bed every night, it isn't his fault if you get a spoon and do it too.0 -
It's ok to eat the healthy food you want to eat.0
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I understand not wanting to cook another meal for him and feel you're perfectly reasonable on that. The one suggestion I do have is since he's not with your year round find out the foods that he really does not like. So far it sounds like onions are one thing. If you have a list of things like that it's easier to either leave them out of the main dish, or pull out a small serving for him before you add them. It's less hassle than making a completely different dish and he has less excuse not to eat it.0
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I don't mean this critically, but I get the impression you don't know much about kids. A kid that asks to snack all the time is totally normal. Think about when you were a kid. You probably had breakfast, a snack at school, lunch at school, a snack when you can home, dinner, and probably desert or another snack in the evening, or maybe both. You eat less at meals, but more often. An 8 year old needs like 1500-1800 calories, depending on their size and activity level. Depending on your dietary goals, this kid could easily be eating hundreds of calories more than you every day.
Also, kids have different taste palettes than adults. It isn't until teen years that they start to develop the ability to taste foods like you do. Sweet is one thing that tastes really good to them. Onions, generally, are not. I don't know many kids who like onions, even of they are good eaters. So, for example, with those green beans you made, you could either leave them out so everyone is happy (green beans are perfectly healthy, after all, without the onions) or you could cut the onions big enough to easily pick out or you can leave part of the dish without onions. I thinkits reasonable to serve him dinner and expect that he tries it. You can even have a rule that he has to eat five bites of something before he decides if he likes it or not. Just don't be surprised when there are things he dislikes. Just as there are plenty of things you probably dislike too. You arent asking a lot to have him eat healthy meals with the family, but you are kind of asking a lot if you arent willing to compromise at all. If he doesn't like quiche, but will happily eat omelets without complaint, I'd say pick your battles.
I'd also enforce a rule that he can't call things gross or disgusting. Its rude to people who enjoy those things. Instead, he can say he doesn't care for it or something similar.
As for snacks, let him have one sweet treat (or maybe two mini ones) per day. Other than that, keep a variety of snacks that you don't mind having, but it can't really be just fruit. String cheese, flavored rice cakes, crackers and peanut butter, animal crackers, popcorn, goldfish crackers, pretzels, popsicles, pudding packs or jello, trail/snack mix, etc. If you're concerned about you and your husbands self control, parcel it all out into individual serving sizes for him in snack-sized zip lock baggies. When he gets one, your husband will be less inclined to snack because the kid will probably be less inclined to share.
Just keep in mind he is a kid. Regardless of what he is eating, he isn't accountable for what you and your husband choose to eat. By which I mean, if he and your husband choose to eat ice cream out of the container in bed every night, it isn't his fault if you get a spoon and do it too.
This x1000!0 -
Actually I don't think it is him being picky. He is playing you guys like a harp. He is intentionally not eating because he knows that in an hour when he complains he is still hungry, you guys will give in and give him what he wants. Snacks are great if he is also willing to eat his dinner or eat a fair share of it. If not, then it really is his own fault for being hungry an hour after dinner. The snacks you should give him should be healthy if he chooses not to eat his dinner. It may sound harsh, but you can't cater to him because he will only get worse.0
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My 5 year old is picky. Of course he is. He is 5! There are ways to get kids to eat better but still make it fun! I make taco night with lean ground turkey or chicken instead of beef and load up with veggies. Use whole wheat tortillas. When I make pasta (which he loves) I buy veggie noodles and I home make the sauce and add in lean meats. Just be creative. Were you picky as a kid? I think we all were... My son loves green beans and even though I get tired of them I make them often because it is one of the few greens he enjoys. He will also eat salad if he likes the dressing and it has croutons. Good luck!0
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PS snacking is normal. And be easier on him. He is 8. I am not saying he should have a diet consisting of rubbish but he is a kid and his tastes will change often. My son had eggs for breakfast then a frozen 100 cal Italian ice then grilled cheese and kettle cooked chips for lunch and then some fruit snacks and we are having veggie pasta for dinner and I'm willing to bet he will ask for dessert. Get to know your step son. Be patient and remember he is coming into your home from what he is used to try to be accommodating and make good choices.0
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I have a few picky eaters and the rule is simple: eat what I made (which is usually healthy) or don't eat.
Sometimes they don't eat, sometimes they only eat half, sometimes they're hungry enough to eat it all.
I make sure everyone gets their vitamin and I go to bed happy.
This is generally only for dinner- at breakfast and lunch they pick what they want (to an extent- fast food not an option, candy for breakfast not an option, etc).0 -
I tell my kids that I'm not a short-order cook and won't operate as such. If they're hungry, they'll eat. I don't allow snacks if they refused a meal. If they go hungry, it's their own fault.
I'm not as harsh as that may sound. I do allow snacks, ice cream, etc, and I do work around things they don't like. I'll have potato salad AND mac & cheese available so they have an option. Bottom line though, refusal of a meal when they have options results in no snacks and they have to wait until the next meal.0 -
The snacking thing is normal for kids - especially for growing boys. Cut him some slack in that area.
As far as everything else, you set the rules. He eats what is served, and if he doesn't, he doesn't get snacks later. You can also set a rule that he gets only 1 "treat" food per day and has to eat plenty of other healthy stuff too.
The 'eat what is served or no snacks later' is what we do. And if he doesn't eat his dinner, it gets set aside for when he says he's hungry and wants a snack...hungry? Eat your dinner, it's still there waiting for you.
No way I cave and let my kid get chips and cookies in place of eating somethig healthy.
New foods that our boy (he's only 5) says upon seeing 'I don't like that' although he may never have tried it before he's required to have at least one bite before saying he doesn't like it.0 -
We have a problem with my stepdaughter eating our healthy food as well. She's 11 and very picky. She would eat snacks and unhealthy stuff all the time though. She knows the rules though...we don't make her anything special - she eats what we eat and has to try a bite of everything. Then if she doesn't like it, we cut her a little slack. But if she doesn't eat what we deem as an appropriate amount - there's no snacks later in the evening. She's gotten a little better at eating but we still have our moments. I definitely agree about including him in the process of making the menu and shopping. Although, with my stepdaughter we can't do that - the only thing she ever wants is pasta - so we include maybe one pasta meal a week and the rest of the week is meat and healthy stuff...you have to find a balance! Hope this helps!0
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