Relationship issues, needing motivation and support

Hey there. Not really sure what to say, but felt like you could use an encouraging word - or at least to know that someone cares that you're struggling right now. I know it's cliche, but you have to decide what you can and can't tackle right now and do the best you can. Sounds like you're pretty overwhelmed...cut yourself a little slack and feel free to share more if it helps alleviate some stress! *sending you good wishes and positive thoughts*

At the end of the day, you're left with you. Life happens and people change, but your body and your health are yours forever. Take care of yourself first.

The last month of my life have completely turned my life upside down. I was a homemaker and real-estate-license student living with my military boyfriend of several years in northern California. My significant other was deployed to Afghanistan for four months prior to returning home last month.. and severing his relationship with me. He decided while he was halfway around the world that he just fell out of love with me. He had weeks and months to think about it. I had days. This happened the day after my 31st birthday (he was considerate enough to wait until the day after to break the news to me). With no money and no family within 2000 miles, I packed my stuff into my car and drove across the country to crash on the couch of a family member while I get my own life back on track. All my progress towards my real estate license in CA is forfeited, as it does not transfer to Pennsylvania. I feel like a visitor in Wonderland.. everything I was used to and was looking forward to is just gone... from my military friends to my pursued career to the life I was living with my significant other and the future I thought we were going to have together, including starting a family of our own.

There were several days where I basically didn't eat. Just the idea of food made me sick to my stomach. I won't lie and say that I still managed those days successfully. I was way under a healthy calorie goal for many days. But I didn't give up. I didn't dwell on needing to eat, but I would force myself to eat a couple tablespoons of peanut butter to eat least HELP, albeit only a little bit. I gradually started to eat more until I was eating a healthier amount of calories. What I DID continue to do throughout these stressful times was exercise.. mostly to clear my head. I would go out for a walk for fresh air or escape the confines of "our" home by going to the gym. Although my weight was not mentioned as a reason for our breakup, in my head I still would tell myself (and I still do) that I'm going to make myself healthier, thinner and hotter. I have been doing it for myself. But now I'm also doing it a small bit to spite him. It's like an added bonus.

I may not have handled everything in the past month perfectly, and I'm far from being alright emotionally, but I feel like a stronger person just because I'M STILL HERE! (I didn't log for 2 weeks while driving across the country, but I still guestimated what I was eating and I logged back onto MFP when my traveling was finished.) The old me probably would have dwelled in my sorrows and not bothered coming back to MFP. It would be so EASY to give up on my weight loss, gain my lost weight back, and just feel depressed about my entire life. But I'm a stronger person than that. I can be sad about my relationship loss. I can regret choices I made in the past. I can feel lost and confused about how to proceed in my life. But I will NOT throw away more of my life by regressing to old unhealthy habits. I am the most important thing in my life, and no matter what else is going on around me, I need to take care of myself above and beyond anything.

No matter what happens to you or me or anyone else on this site, remember that we are all here to help each other be healthy. When times get tough, you can get through it.. just don't give up.