What do you want to hear?

iwantniceabs
iwantniceabs Posts: 357 Member
in Motivation and Support
What do you want your friends to tell you when you make comments about your own body not being the way you want it?

I have a cousin who is trying to lose some weight, and she often says things like, "I waddle when I walk" or "my fat self can't do that yet" - what would be a really encouraging and helpful thing for me to say when she says these things?

Replies

  • iwantniceabs
    iwantniceabs Posts: 357 Member
    ? anyone?
  • Laurenmp16
    Laurenmp16 Posts: 344 Member
    That's hard! I would maybe tell her she shouldn't put herself down, and should focus on the things she likes about herself while she's trying to better herself. What do you like about her? Tell her you like it and she should try to find positive things she likes about herself too!

    Personally - I get really annoyed with this, and after a couple of times of telling her I'd probably be less patient about it, but it's worth doing the nice thing once or twice?
  • mkkhoza
    mkkhoza Posts: 79
    I would say something like...honey you are doing great with this journey, you may not be where you want to be yet but I want you to know that I am in you corner and you are going to be able to do everything you want to do...just take it step by step. I'm with you...now let's go get it :)
  • nrz242
    nrz242 Posts: 76
    I'd like to hear something along the lines of "Thats cool, hey we should go for a hike" - I really appreciate offers of action/productivity and I think its preferable to sympathy/empathy, but thats just me
  • simplyciera
    simplyciera Posts: 168 Member
    Lol well I'm not the type that complains a lot & I don't really have friends that ask "do I look fat in this?"
    My best friend always says, "Ciera, if you ask me if you look fat then you probably bought it in the wrong size."
    Mehhh if someone else complains though I try to be encouraging and be like "girl you are so beautiful. Go kiss yourself in the mirror, you're so sexy."
    But it's a shame, overall, that we women don't love our bodies more. How can someone else love us, if weeeee don't love ourselves.
    Love your bodies, ladies! You're effing gorgeous. Every single one of you!
  • jamiek917
    jamiek917 Posts: 610 Member
    i definitely think u can avoid the potential awkward comments about her appearance by just motivating her to work out, get on MFP, or telling her the tips u have been learning. u are obviously on this site bc u care about your appearance and health, so tell her what u learned, what u struggle with, or things u have improved on. its nice to know you arent alone, and helps to know that some thin people dont just wake up thin with zero effort.
  • Lonarae12
    Lonarae12 Posts: 10
    From personal experience I just say hey, talking like that makes you feel worse about yourself than you should so stop it. You're working hard and I think that's great but you need to remember that no changes happen overnight. I'm super excited that you're motivated and wanting to be healthy and I am with you 100 percent - and you should feel the same about yourself!
    Now, if she falls off the "wagon" as my friends have and I have too just give her gentle encouragement by offering to go workout with her or talking about how much better you both felt when you went and worked out (cuz everyone feels better after! It's the getting there that's the issue!) I hope this helps!
  • Lonarae12
    Lonarae12 Posts: 10
    oh! And note differences in her appearance that she probably doesn't see! Like I told my good friend how great her bum was looking lately lol cuz often times people don't see the progress they're making with themselves
  • Brookie911
    Brookie911 Posts: 1 Member
    I am that Great friend that Lona told that to and I happen to think my bum is looking mighty fine also. And It made me feel GREAT that she noticed! Hehe. Who doesn't love a compliment after a ton of hard work?!
    P.S. Lona you are looking mighty fine yourself.

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