Why Why Why

I started this at 376 in April 2011. I just had a surgery on March 29 that recovery was VERY difficult, and I ended up gaining 17-18 pounds from using the excuse that doctors told me (which they did) that I didn't need to lose weight while recovering.

My "moment" was when I attended a school event with my oldest daughter who was in first grade. I had a hard time walking to the door (about 30 yards away), had to stop multiple times, and once inside (it was cold out), I had to sit on the floor because I was so out of shape and had to catch my breath. I had the audacity to try to blame it on the staff there saying if they hadn't made me walk "3 miles" from the parking lot, I would have been fine. I remember sitting there thinking "something's got to change."

The next week I had an appointment with a lap-band surgeon who told me I'd have to lose 90 pounds before they'd do it. I about choked. I thought "If I could have done that on my own, I wouldn't be here!!" BUT I did what they told me to do.....meet with the dietician once a month, go have an assessment by a therapist (who recommended I see another therapist who I still see - he had the bypass surgery), the therapist recommended I also join weight watchers (I go weigh in weekly, but rarely stay for the meetings)....etc. etc. etc.

I ended up losing the 90 pounds at a rate of 1.5 pounds/week. My thought was, "If I'm losing at an above average rate, why am I going to do the lap band?" That was last September.

I had surgery on March 29 to remove the extra fat/skin from my stomach area (panniculectomy). The surgeon took off 26 pounds. I wanted to get it done because my back was still aching, and I knew it was from carrying that around and because we were going to Disney - I wanted to be recovered from the surgery and able to walk around without my back hurting (mission accomplished). Had my birthday on Friday (I'm 47 now), and went back to weigh in today for the first time since May 8....I gained basically 18 pounds. Ugh.

What I haven't mentioned yet is that EVERYBODY from my family to my husband was absolutely convinced that I needed to have the surgery done - that I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own. Here it is 2 years and 3 months later - and I've lost 128 pounds (as of today's gain). It's something! Nobody in my family nor my husband thought I'd be able to do it. Some people at work really questioned it.

I still attend support group meetings at the lap-band surgeon's office - they still invite me and I still attend when I can. That doctor has told people if there's ever a time to be selfish, it's now when you're trying to improve your health.

I've stopped at truck stops where they have fruit/veggies. Even the fast food restaurants have grilled chicken now. Get a grilled chicken sandwich without the bun, cut it up and dip it in a dipping sauce. Get some protein bars....I like the Chocolite ones (www.healthsmartfoods.com) my husband likes the cashew caramel, I like the triple chocolate fudge, and we both like the cookies/cream.

One of the nutritionists I've seen has said to focus on lean, healthy proteins, and the carbs/fats will take care of themselves. I've pretty much found that to be true.

It's important for you to try to do what you can to control your environment. I've heard a saying, "It isn't what happens to you, it's what you do about it." You can't control certain things, but your food intake - any exercise you do - that is within your control. Don't use being a truck driver and being alone as an excuse. Have a loved one write a letter or make a tape telling you how cool you are so you can have it with you on your trips. My husband and I both tell each other about "things you do I think are awesome" and when we appreciate stuff. Most people don't to that - it was something we were taught to do and we still struggle with it after 19 years of marriage.

Just something to think about.....

Pat,

You have been on my Friends list for a while, I really feel for your struggles. We have shared some nice messages back and forth and I know how hard you are trying. Don't feel like you are bothering me if you want to send me a PM, I will always answer when I can.

You are doing really good, you have gone to never logging to logging most days. You aren't logging all of your intake but you ARE logging and that is a big thing for you. You are also logging on every day for some time now, early on you would frequently only be checking in every 3 or 4 days. You have gone from having nothing but your favorite biscuits and gravy every morning to more of a variety.

While you may not be able to see it, as one standing a little bit outside and seeing your progression I can see you are making many changes that are all very positive. One step at a time, you are making improvements. Each change may seem small, but all of those small changes are very important.

You can do this, I have seen the desire in your posts!

my uncle is also a trucker. when he was told he was borderline diabetic (which meant if he'd have to kiss his job bye bye if it actually developed) he started going on 2-5 mile walks after he'd pull the truck over at a rest stop or truck stop. he also started making healthier choices in where he ate while on the road. I understand, the options are pretty limited with a truck, but you can always park it one place, and then walk over to another restaurant to get your food.

good luck to you!

I think this is an excellent idea. Hope it might work for you Patrick.

I'm alone too, but I don't let that stop me. Sure, sometimes I get down on myself when I go home to an empty house and want to eat my misery away. But, will that help me make more friends? No. But maybe, if I get my butt to the gym, I'll make a new friend there. I know this may be a little more difficult/different for you being on the road, but what it comes down to is this, you have to motivate yourself. Someone else can help give you motivation, but it really comes from inside. Why do you want to get healthier? Let that be the reason that drives you. For me I also think about the guilt. I know I can do to Dairy Queen right now and get that Blizzard I've been thinking about for 2 days, but if I do, I will only feel happy in the moment and even more guilty later. I'm trying to pull myself out of that cycle of eat-guilt-eat more-more guilt and just make good choices to begin with. The more good choices I make the better I feel about myself and the less lonely I feel.

Maybe you can also reach out on this site or within your company - send out a message to other truck drivers also looking to lose some weight. You can set up a calling schedule where you call at least one other person on the list at least once a day to check in. For me at least talking on the phone with another person is much more meaningful that communicating over the internet.

Hi
You are getting the same advice as you've got in the past but for some reason, are not taking it. If you truly want to,sort this- you are thevonly one who can do this. It's all been said before but if you want to,help yourself you need to stop making excuses and find clay to get professional help - if you feel you can't do this alone. Your friends have been saying things to help you for ages- just like people have in this thread. It hasn't worked though so you need to try something different and get help from a professional.

I know this sounds tough but you can't just keep going on like this.

This reminds me of a documentary I watched called " Fat, Sick, and nearly dead" they have a website http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/

in this documentary there is a trucker and he is at least 450lbs. It shows his transformation with exercise, and juicing (getting raw veggies and putting them in a juicer) for his meals.

This really motivated me to start my weight-loss journey though I havent tried juicing yet. I know people that do, and have had great success with it.

Oh, I'm glad you recommended that because I was about to! That is exactly what I thought of after reading the OP's post.

To Patrick: Please watch that documentary! Also, I know this sounds extreme, but maybe a career change would really turn things around for you? If it's a possibility, find something that makes you happier.

Support is nice but not a necessity. I have no real support(other than MFP where everyone has been awesome) and the person who was closest to me downplayed my weight loss alot("ohhh it's not that big of deal", "anyone could do that"). Yup. That is the stuff he told me.
You can do it. Make small changes first. Like cut out soda(if you drink it). Maybe cut out sugary stuff once a week at first and then twice a week and you get the idea. I was over 300lbs at one point and totally overwhelmed. I concentrated first on diet changes and didn't even add in exercise until I felt like I could control my eating habits. One thing at a time.