How do you break up with your trainer?

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chbruns
chbruns Posts: 16 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
When I first started my fitness quest I got a personal trainer. I've been working with her for a couple of months and have seen great results. She has really helped me. BUT....now that I'm past the "I just want to lose a few pounds and firm up" phase, I don't know that she is the right trainer for me. I'm starting to want to get a little more hardcore with what I'm doing and really start building muscle and getting stronger - I went from being a couch potato to having this urge to be at the gym lifting all the time.

She works at the gym I go to so it's kind of awkward if I bring someone else in to train me so I feel like if I stop with her I have to not get another trainer.

Anybody else been through this? Any advice?

Replies

  • GetSoda
    GetSoda Posts: 1,267 Member
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    Give her an opportunity to help you with your new goals. If she can't, ask her to refer you to someone that can.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
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    Hi <TrainerName>, I've decided to go a different direction, thank you for your service to this point. Bye."

    ETA- This isn't a friend, it's a service provider. You stop working with them the same way you change insurance companies and lawn care people. You tell them thank you, and good day. That's it. It's a business relationship.
  • davideickelmann
    davideickelmann Posts: 87 Member
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    When I first started my fitness quest I got a personal trainer. I've been working with her for a couple of months and have seen great results. She has really helped me. BUT....now that I'm past the "I just want to lose a few pounds and firm up" phase, I don't know that she is the right trainer for me. I'm starting to want to get a little more hardcore with what I'm doing and really start building muscle and getting stronger - I went from being a couch potato to having this urge to be at the gym lifting all the time.

    She works at the gym I go to so it's kind of awkward if I bring someone else in to train me so I feel like if I stop with her I have to not get another trainer.

    Anybody else been through this? Any advice?

    Here's your checklist:
    1. Explain to her that your goals have changed, and then tell her what your new goals are.
    2. Explain to her that you enjoy training with her, but that your training goals are a priority, and ask her if she is the best trainer for accomplishing your goals, or if she could refer you to someone else.
    3. If she is not the best trainer for your new goals, whether she can refer you to a new trainer or not, be sure to get her card. If she was helpful with training you, sending her additional business seems appropriate.

    Trainers expect to lose customers to progress. It's simply the nature of the business. There's nothing awkward about concluding a business relationship that has run it's course.
  • stvprod
    stvprod Posts: 4 Member
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    ETA- This isn't a friend, it's a service provider. You stop working with them the same way you change insurance companies and lawn care people. You tell them thank you, and good day. That's it. It's a business relationship.


    This is so True! I face the same problems with everyday life, I feel so worried about hurting someones feelings that I end up getting the shorter end of the stick, neglecting my feelings. Remember, The GYM is about YOU and YOUR workouts, you pay a monthly charge you should have a choice if you train privately or not, or whom your trainer is.
  • micheleb15
    micheleb15 Posts: 1,418 Member
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    Have you told her that your goals have changed and that you want to be more aggressive with weight training? If she's gotten you good results and you like her, I'd give her a shot. If it's not what you want, then I agree with others, iIt's business; but it will be weird if you see her in the gym often.
  • ucabucca
    ucabucca Posts: 606 Member
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    Talking can help to reclarify goals but most work in groups at a gym and each has their own style and comfort zones and if you let them know what you want they will shift you to another trainer n the gym if it is a better match loos at the others and see how you feel in your own gym. They really do understand and expect it too. I have had to do this a few times as goals changed
  • Doodlewhopper
    Doodlewhopper Posts: 1,018 Member
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    When I first started my fitness quest I got a personal trainer. I've been working with her for a couple of months and have seen great results. She has really helped me. BUT....now that I'm past the "I just want to lose a few pounds and firm up" phase, I don't know that she is the right trainer for me. I'm starting to want to get a little more hardcore with what I'm doing and really start building muscle and getting stronger - I went from being a couch potato to having this urge to be at the gym lifting all the time.

    She works at the gym I go to so it's kind of awkward if I bring someone else in to train me so I feel like if I stop with her I have to not get another trainer.

    Anybody else been through this? Any advice?

    Here's your checklist:
    1. Explain to her that your goals have changed, and then tell her what your new goals are.
    2. Explain to her that you enjoy training with her, but that your training goals are a priority, and ask her if she is the best trainer for accomplishing your goals, or if she could refer you to someone else.
    3. If she is not the best trainer for your new goals, whether she can refer you to a new trainer or not, be sure to get her card. If she was helpful with training you, sending her additional business seems appropriate.

    Trainers expect to lose customers to progress. It's simply the nature of the business. There's nothing awkward about concluding a business relationship that has run it's course.

    ^^^^This is good but I would add:

    Explain that you are interested in going in another direction with your training and because youve achieved results with her thus far, you would like to continue the relationship. Then ask what she can do to help achieve your new goals. Explain that you will be exploring all options and plan to start your new program in 1 month. Dont burn any bridges because she may be better than you realize.

    Be sure & convey how much you value what she has done for you. Explain that if you decide to go with another trainer that it would be on a trial basis & if it doesnt work out, would she still be willing to work with you?

    If you do change, give her a small gift or token and whenever you see her at the gym or in public greet her as an old friend & spend a few minutes chatting with her.
  • chbruns
    chbruns Posts: 16 Member
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    Thanks all for the advice. In my head I know you are right - it's like changing insurance companies - but it's harder after having interacted on a personal level for the past few months. I will have the discussion with her about my changing goals and see if she is on board with changing how she trains me. If not - I'll do the deed.
  • Azdak
    Azdak Posts: 8,281 Member
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    When I first started my fitness quest I got a personal trainer. I've been working with her for a couple of months and have seen great results. She has really helped me. BUT....now that I'm past the "I just want to lose a few pounds and firm up" phase, I don't know that she is the right trainer for me. I'm starting to want to get a little more hardcore with what I'm doing and really start building muscle and getting stronger - I went from being a couch potato to having this urge to be at the gym lifting all the time.

    She works at the gym I go to so it's kind of awkward if I bring someone else in to train me so I feel like if I stop with her I have to not get another trainer.

    Anybody else been through this? Any advice?

    Here's your checklist:
    1. Explain to her that your goals have changed, and then tell her what your new goals are.
    2. Explain to her that you enjoy training with her, but that your training goals are a priority, and ask her if she is the best trainer for accomplishing your goals, or if she could refer you to someone else.
    3. If she is not the best trainer for your new goals, whether she can refer you to a new trainer or not, be sure to get her card. If she was helpful with training you, sending her additional business seems appropriate.

    Trainers expect to lose customers to progress. It's simply the nature of the business. There's nothing awkward about concluding a business relationship that has run it's course.

    This is a positive and constructive way to address the situation.
  • OlyLiftingGal
    OlyLiftingGal Posts: 1 Member
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    Thank you so much for posting this message. I actually have a somewhat similar problem, and all the replies were very helpful. I could also use advice! I began working 3x/week with my personal trainer a year ago. I was very overweight, out of shape, and had no clue how to eat/exercise. Over the year I have had amazing results - nearly 50 lbs and over 30 inches! My trainer has been extremely attentive, created a customized meal plan, checked in with me between sessions, and supported me via text whenever needed. In the past few months however, that "extra" support has diminished substantially. Now many texts go unanswered. And when I have a weight loss, my trainer does not seem all that excited for me. Without that support the holidays were extremely tough for me. Recently my trainer cancelled a session, claiming that they needed the entire day to prepare for an exam. However, when at the gym a few hours later I saw my trainer there. It was very awkward for me. Is my trainer sending me a message? Am I expecting too much? Not sure how to address, how to solve, how to move forward. While it's "just business," this person has helped me change my life, and has been a big part of my success. Would love your suggestions! Thanks!!

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