Lose weight quick

icandoit
icandoit Posts: 4,163 Member
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
:laugh:
A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to VERY serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a guaranteed weight loss program. "Guaranteed my *kitten*", he thought to himself, but desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3 day 10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there is a knock at his door and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptous, athletic, beautiful babe dressed in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

The sign reads, "If you can catch me you can have me!"

Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business."

The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost ten pounds, as promised.

So, he calls the company and orders from them their 5 day/ 20 pound program. As expected, the next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunningly beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

He's after her in a shot. This girl is in great shape and it takes a while to catch her, but when he does, it's worth every cramp and wheeze. She is by far the best he's ever had. For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to his delight on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another twenty pounds as promised!

He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7 day/50 pound loss program. "Are you sure," asks the representative on the phone, "this is our most rigorous program..." "Absolutely," he replies. "I haven't felt this great in years!"

The next day there is a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink racing spikes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you!"

Replies

  • icandoit
    icandoit Posts: 4,163 Member
    :laugh:
    A fellow was ordered to lose 75 pounds, due to VERY serious health risks. As he wondered how in the heck he would ever do it, he ran across an ad in the newspaper for a guaranteed weight loss program. "Guaranteed my *kitten*", he thought to himself, but desperate, he calls them up and subscribes to the 3 day 10 pound weight loss program.

    The next day there is a knock at his door and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptous, athletic, beautiful babe dressed in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

    The sign reads, "If you can catch me you can have me!"

    Without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

    After they are through and she leaves, he thinks to himself, "I like the way this company does business."

    The same girl shows up for the next two days and the same thing happens. On the fourth day he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost ten pounds, as promised.

    So, he calls the company and orders from them their 5 day/ 20 pound program. As expected, the next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunningly beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life, wearing nothing but running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    He's after her in a shot. This girl is in great shape and it takes a while to catch her, but when he does, it's worth every cramp and wheeze. She is by far the best he's ever had. For the next four days, the same routine happens and much to his delight on the fifth day, he weighs himself and found he has lost another twenty pounds as promised!

    He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7 day/50 pound loss program. "Are you sure," asks the representative on the phone, "this is our most rigorous program..." "Absolutely," he replies. "I haven't felt this great in years!"

    The next day there is a knock at the door and when he opens it he finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink racing spikes and a sign around his neck that reads, "If I catch you, I can have you!"
  • mrsjo79
    mrsjo79 Posts: 123
    :laugh: :laugh: Too funny:laugh: :laugh:
  • Loretta_Jo
    Loretta_Jo Posts: 609 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    Love It !!
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    LOL that is great!! I posted it over at the bb.com forums hehe :laugh:
  • Thank you for making me laugh so hard. It's good exercise for my innards.:laugh:
    morecatslady
  • Anna_Banana
    Anna_Banana Posts: 2,939 Member
    That is just way too funny.
  • Hello icandoit,
    Would you send that story to my personal e-mail so I can send it to a friend. I can't seem to copy and paste it. Thanks,
    morecatslady@yahoo.com
  • destiny_206
    destiny_206 Posts: 430 Member
    lol, thats cute. thankx for the laugh
  • amandagreen1980
    amandagreen1980 Posts: 286 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • flachix
    flachix Posts: 256 Member
    :laugh: Great way to start my day....thanks
  • destiny_206
    destiny_206 Posts: 430 Member
    This was just so funny I tought people might enjoy to see it again.
  • stschulz
    stschulz Posts: 340
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • TashaKnight
    TashaKnight Posts: 50 Member
    *crack up*
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Rachael2179
    Rachael2179 Posts: 148 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: too funny. Thanks for the laugh
  • Do you have the name of the company:laugh:
  • PrincessLaundry
    PrincessLaundry Posts: 2,758 Member
    Thanks for the giggle! LOL RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!! :laugh:
  • meme2018
    meme2018 Posts: 241 Member
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: OMG that's to Funny :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • laureneva
    laureneva Posts: 372 Member
    thats so great!!! hahahaha
  • rogers8702
    rogers8702 Posts: 533 Member
    ok i looove richard simmons i had a crush on him when i was 2 yrs old---but that was funny :laugh:
  • dedelen0
    dedelen0 Posts: 21
    :laugh: LMAO!!

    I think I would join the third one!! haha it would def. put my tush in shape!:tongue:
This discussion has been closed.