Feeling like a failure....

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sunsand227
sunsand227 Posts: 4 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just looking for a little pat on the back and a swift kick in the behind. I'm feeling defeated today and want to give up. 102lbs left to lose seems impossible. I just want to binge eat, cry, and become a recluse. Ugh! When will the magic pill be created that will make me my goal weight overnight?
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Replies

  • belle_of_the_bar
    belle_of_the_bar Posts: 474 Member
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    We all wish it was instant, but alas, not going to happen. Maybe if you look at it as 10 pounds to lose 10 times? You can lose 10 pounds in 2 months! Anyway, keep your head up and keep making little choices to feel good about and it will all come together.
  • RCottonRPh
    RCottonRPh Posts: 148
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    Don't look at the whole amount you need to lose. Focus on five pounds. You can lose 5 pounds. Once you do that, do it again...and again. You will get there. It may not be fast or easy...but the things that are most worth it take effort and time. You should feel empowered and happy that you are taking steps toward changing your life, instead of wanting to give up and cry because it will not happen overnight
  • runningagainstmyself
    runningagainstmyself Posts: 616 Member
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    It takes small steps to reach the bigger goals. Take the journey 5lb. at a time, and give yourself "milestone" goals whereby when you reach them, you give yourself a non-food reward, such as a new dress or a spa treatment. Looking at the whole journey is too overwhelming. You'll drive yourself nuts every time you face an obstacle.

    602048_525580554166312_1691306727_n.jpg
  • Thena81
    Thena81 Posts: 1,265 Member
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    drop the over night idea, sorry babes but its not going to happen.
    its easy to cower, sit in the corner and eat but youll be further back
    dont do it to yourself
    all you need is willpower!
    eat the best you can, workout a hard as you can and u will see results.
    you CAN do this!!
    dont give up on yourself!!... n sorry if u think im rude, im not trying to be, just being honest! :D
  • moondawg14
    moondawg14 Posts: 249 Member
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    Just looking for a little pat on the back and a swift kick in the behind. I'm feeling defeated today and want to give up. 102lbs left to lose seems impossible. I just want to binge eat, cry, and become a recluse. Ugh! When will the magic pill be created that will make me my goal weight overnight?

    "If you're going through hell... keep going." - Winston Churchill
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    i only had ~50lbs to lose. but. what helped me was totally ignoring my goals. or rather, making *changing my habits* my goal.

    so instead of 'lose x lbs' it was 'do 30 minutes of some damn thing EVERY DAY', with the important add-on, 'no matter you you feel'*. or 'learn to cook 1 macro-friendly meal' or even just, at the beginning, 'log every day'.

    i did weigh myself occasionally but my focus was 100% on process. at the end of a year i lost it all.

    *this part changed my life in every way.
  • xstarxdustx
    xstarxdustx Posts: 591 Member
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    DON'T GIVE UP! Whatever it is that is making you feel this way is not worth it. You deserve to be fit and healthy and you can most definitely do this. Binging won't make you feel any better, just worse. Hang in there. Chin up buttercup!
  • LexiAtel
    LexiAtel Posts: 228 Member
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    Just truck on through, baby, you need to accept the fact that you have to get this under control or you will NEVER lose, and likely keep gaining wait. You don't wan to be bed bound because you have gotten so big that you can't move???

    I know it's hard, but after the first month it gets better, and after that, it gets better, and so on. We must work a little hard to get what we want :) You can do it, we can do it. So let's do it! :)
    i only had ~50lbs to lose. but. what helped me was totally ignoring my goals. or rather, making *changing my habits* my goal.

    so instead of 'lose x lbs' it was 'do 30 minutes of some damn thing EVERY DAY', with the important add-on, 'no matter you you feel'*. or 'learn to cook 1 macro-friendly meal' or even just, at the beginning, 'log every day'.

    i did weigh myself occasionally but my focus was 100% on process. at the end of a year i lost it all.

    *this part changed my life in every way.

    ^^^This is an excellent suggestion! Rather than trying to change everything, just change 1 or 2 things every 2-4 weeks. It's worked for me :)
  • JulieGirl58
    JulieGirl58 Posts: 158 Member
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    I have 50 pounds to lose but I can't think about that. I am focusing on changing my eating habits. The weight is coming off really slowly. In a year I may have actually lost it, but even if I don't, I will have made progress. The time will pass anyway and in a year I would like to look back without regrets. Take it one day at a time. One pound at a time. I'm here for you if you want to add me as a friend.
  • LexiAtel
    LexiAtel Posts: 228 Member
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    Here's a song that I played on my mp3 player while I was walking:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdzoFXTbpvs

    Learn the lyrics, sing them, mouth them, think them, whatever :)
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    Just truck on through, baby, you need to accept the fact that you have to get this under control or you will NEVER lose, and likely keep gaining wait. You don't wan to be bed bound because you have gotten so big that you can't move???

    I know it's hard, but after the first month it gets better, and after that, it gets better, and so on. We must work a little hard to get what we want :) You can do it, we can do it. So let's do it! :)

    good point - heads up on the timeline. i thought the first month was hell. much easier after that. in that first month, what kept me going were 1) the main rule i set for myself - i started with committing to exercise, so it was 30 mins a day no matter what. but it's true it's not as simple as 'just decide to make it a habit'. 2) my overarching goal came about because of life situations changing really fast, and feeling like my body was the only thing i could control. so i lucked into a moment where, unusually for me in the face of things not going well (meaning, life situations etc), i was more mad than sad.

    it will help if you can find something to hang on to for that first month (plus, commitment/habit).
  • LexiAtel
    LexiAtel Posts: 228 Member
    Options
    Just truck on through, baby, you need to accept the fact that you have to get this under control or you will NEVER lose, and likely keep gaining wait. You don't wan to be bed bound because you have gotten so big that you can't move???

    I know it's hard, but after the first month it gets better, and after that, it gets better, and so on. We must work a little hard to get what we want :) You can do it, we can do it. So let's do it! :)

    good point - heads up on the timeline. i thought the first month was hell. much easier after that. in that first month, what kept me going were 1) the main rule i set for myself - i started with committing to exercise, so it was 30 mins a day no matter what. but it's true it's not as simple as 'just decide to make it a habit'. 2) my overarching goal came about because of life situations changing really fast, and feeling like my body was the only thing i could control. so i lucked into a moment where, unusually for me in the face of things not going well (meaning, life situations etc), i was more mad than sad.

    it will help if you can find something to hang on to for that first month (plus, commitment/habit).
    I worked on proportions and calorie count my first month, I did pretty good, lost 5lbs, only exercised for 4 days! If you go this route though, you ,may not get the proper amount of macros, you'll always feel so hungry and may end up doing something not so smart. If anyone goes to do this, I would aim for your calorie count with about 15-18% protein if you are not working out, 20% if you are. Or 40-50g LEAN protein choices. Try to keep the carbs around 100g or maybe see if you can wean yourself from the bad carbs like in the ones in non-whole grain foods. Stay away from most prepared foods, they are FULL of sodium, you don't want to be eating a lot of that.

    This is my second month, I am working on exercise and strength building now :) Last 8lbs already @ 5weeks of starting this "life change" (May 17th).
  • FedoraNinja
    FedoraNinja Posts: 45
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    First, read this:
    I will persist until I succeed.

    I was not delivered unto this world in defeat, nor does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep. I will hear not those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. Let them join the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.

    I will persist until I succeed.

    The prizes of life are at the end of each journey, not near the beginning; and it is not given to me to know how many steps are necessary in order to reach my goal. Failure I may still encounter at the thousandth step, yet success hides behind the next bend in the road. Never will I know how close it lies unless I turn the corner.

    Always will I take another step. If that is of no avail I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult.

    I will persist until I succeed.

    Henceforth, I will consider each day's effort as but one blow of my blade against a mighty oak. The first blow may cause not a tremor in the wood, nor the second, nor the third. Each blow, of itself, may be trifling and seem of no consequence. Yet from childish swipes the oak will eventually tumble. So it will be with my efforts of today.

    I will be liken to the rain drop which washes away the mountain; the ant who devours a tiger; the star which brightens the earth; the slave who builds a pyramid. I will build my castle one brick at a time for I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.

    I will persist until I succeed.

    I will never consider defeat and I will remove from my vocabulary such words and phrases as quit, cannot, unable, impossible, out of the question, improbable, failure, unworkable, hopeless and retreat; for they are the words of fools. I will avoid despair but if this disease of the mind should infect me then I will work on in despair. I will toil and I will endure. I will ignore the obstacles at my feet and keep mine eyes on the goals above my head, for I know that where dry desert ends, green grass grows.

    I will persist until I succeed.

    Second: how many calories are you eating?

    It's easy, before you start a journey, to underestimate the difficulty. Running, hiking, climbing and dieting, it all looks like a cakewalk from the couch, doesn't it?

    If you feel like you're dying and you're doing like 1200 calories a day, try a less aggressive plan. There's no shame in admitting that you underestimated how hard it would be.

    Remember: slow, consistent weight loss will always be a better strategy than an aggressive diet you quit in a week.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Options
    Just truck on through, baby, you need to accept the fact that you have to get this under control or you will NEVER lose, and likely keep gaining wait. You don't wan to be bed bound because you have gotten so big that you can't move???

    I know it's hard, but after the first month it gets better, and after that, it gets better, and so on. We must work a little hard to get what we want :) You can do it, we can do it. So let's do it! :)

    good point - heads up on the timeline. i thought the first month was hell. much easier after that. in that first month, what kept me going were 1) the main rule i set for myself - i started with committing to exercise, so it was 30 mins a day no matter what. but it's true it's not as simple as 'just decide to make it a habit'. 2) my overarching goal came about because of life situations changing really fast, and feeling like my body was the only thing i could control. so i lucked into a moment where, unusually for me in the face of things not going well (meaning, life situations etc), i was more mad than sad.

    it will help if you can find something to hang on to for that first month (plus, commitment/habit).
    I worked on proportions and calorie count my first month, I did pretty good, lost 5lbs, only exercised for 4 days! If you go this route though, you ,may not get the proper amount of macros, you'll always feel so hungry and may end up doing something not so smart. If anyone goes to do this, I would aim for your calorie count with about 15-18% protein if you are not working out, 20% if you are. Or 40-50g LEAN protein choices. Try to keep the carbs around 100g or maybe see if you can wean yourself from the bad carbs like in the ones in non-whole grain foods. Stay away from most prepared foods, they are FULL of sodium, you don't want to be eating a lot of that.

    This is my second month, I am working on exercise and strength building now :) Last 8lbs already @ 5weeks of starting this "life change" (May 17th).

    Fantastic!
  • sunsand227
    sunsand227 Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    Thank you all SO much!!! I needed these words. Today is a new day and I'm feeling more motivated than ever. You all are ROCKSTARS!!!
  • fooninie
    fooninie Posts: 291 Member
    Options
    It takes small steps to reach the bigger goals. Take the journey 5lb. at a time, and give yourself "milestone" goals whereby when you reach them, you give yourself a non-food reward, such as a new dress or a spa treatment. Looking at the whole journey is too overwhelming. You'll drive yourself nuts every time you face an obstacle.

    602048_525580554166312_1691306727_n.jpg

    ^^THIS

    Please do not get discouraged!! Don't lose sight of your success. Sometimes looking back to where you came from will help with your next chapter. Remember weight doesn't come on overnight, and so it will take time to get it off. You are going in the right direction. If you do veer off course for a day, a week, a month, go easy...come back and plug away! YOU CAN DO IT!!!
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,124 Member
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    You're not alone.... I've been back on MFP since March and only lost 5# so far.... it can be very frustrating but you will get NOWHERE if you give up. You just gotta keep going... get your butt to the gym.... make that healthier choice. Also don't deprive yourself of everything you like. Give in every now and then or you will fail. Good luck!
  • jennychavez12
    jennychavez12 Posts: 3 Member
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    please don't feel like that and don't give up! we are here to help motivate you. :) i have had some bad days and have felt like that before but the key is to keep trying until we get it right and enjoy the journey. i am trying my best and looking for ways to move more. hang in there, i know you can do it. :) xoxo!
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,124 Member
    Options
    You're not alone.... I've been back on MFP since March and only lost 5# so far.... it can be very frustrating but you will get NOWHERE if you give up. You just gotta keep going... get your butt to the gym.... make that healthier choice. Also don't deprive yourself of everything you like. Give in every now and then or you will fail. Good luck!

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