Anyone's guy crazygoing after you lose a bunch?

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Scubanana7
Scubanana7 Posts: 361 Member
in Motivation and Support
Mine is about.driving me nuts. I look better so I guess he is feeling threatened. At OUR age, it is rather annoying and not flattering at all that he is getting jealous. He is SKINNY and I have been overweight since we met. Now that I have lost enough to show, he is acting like a teenage boy if someone compliments me. GOOD Lord. I am almost 60 and way to late in life to give a darn about some other old man!l He is sweet and gives me tons of compliments one minute and then gets childishly jealous when someone else does. I guess he thinks I am fixing to trade him in....please....like who wants to start over with another old fart! lolol

He is starting to try to sabatoge my diet "why cant you just eat normal?" "stop talkig about the health benefits of that food" If you eat healthy, why can't I?" (and then buys a candy bar....) He is 6 foot and weighs 155 since he lost 10 while I have been cooking healthy. He still eats junk and eats like a pig.

Last night he threw a hissy fit cuz I was listening to some nutrition information on my computer..

That just figures.....I work EXTREMELY hard to get fit and then I go and murder the silly man and end up lifting weights in prison.......:yawn:
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Replies

  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Well, this is a warm and touching morning read . . .
  • Scubanana7
    Scubanana7 Posts: 361 Member
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    Well, this is a warm and touching morning read . . .
    [/quote



    baahahahaha. Thanks.. I really needed a GOOD laugh. I guess it sounds a little psycho after re-reading it. lololol
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
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    No matter how old some guys are, there will always be those guys out there that are controlling and jealous of others.. Sounds like you got one.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    LOL @ Beachiron, :laugh:


    OP - maybe try telling him that you're getting your health in order so you can both enjoy a long retirement together, instead of ending up in a nursing home at 65. Even if you're doing this all for you, no harm in letting him think you're doing it for HIM.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Go talk to the man, let him know how you feel, and be happy that he's capable of showing a little jealousy at his age. :wink:
  • SteveStedge
    SteveStedge Posts: 37
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    I thought you were gonna say "Now I lost weight my husband wants sex all the time", His response is bizarro and disturbing.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
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    Mine is weirdly jealous, too. We're in our 30's. He doesn't freak out about things, like yours did, but I get 500,000 questions every time I go some place. He's never been this jealous- or really jealous at all- in the 15 years we've been together.

    There are two guys in particular who are professional contacts and our relationship is just that- professional. But my husband gets extremely jealous anytime their names come up.

    I've still got about 30 pounds to lose and I'm not going to stay fat just so he can stay comfortable.
  • jonchew
    jonchew Posts: 239 Member
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    I think he's feeling threatened - and he's afraid to lose you... confidence is waning...
    "Hey - why are you losing the weight anyway? Are you getting ready to leave me for someone younger & more physically fit?????"

    I'd be more worried if he didn't care what you did.
    Of course - support and praise would be great, I guess! :ohwell:
  • fishbarn
    fishbarn Posts: 90 Member
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    Well Scubanana7 your DH & mind are doing the same thing. My DH is over weight & has health problems as well. He just doesn't understand that this is not a diet it is a lifestyle change that needed to be made for the good of both of us. He things that popping some pills will fix everything all by itself. Both the Dr & I have told that he need to change the way he eats & move more. Well for now I'm just happy he gets on his bike & goes for a short ride everyday now. Its a step in the right direction.
  • deesign4427
    deesign4427 Posts: 14
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    I have the same issue except I have also swapped my 'job' for a 'career' so he's feeling a little put out about the competition as well as the intention (only just back on the wagon) to improve.
    My priorities have shifted a little and he's feeling left behind and just a little threatened.

    He knows I love him and that's all yours needs to know too but that does not mean compromising what's right for you. Surely if you are happier, his life is happier too?

    Just make sure you take him with you 'on the journey' and maybe he will respond more positively when he sees the benefits. Mine is slowly coming around and is becoming more comfortable with the new routines etc.

    Playing devil's advocate - I guess we can all be resistant to change when it is thrust upon us and not necessarily of our choosing. Think about how hard it is for you to keep the diet/exercise going and remember that this is not something of his choosing.
  • FarAway02
    FarAway02 Posts: 211
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    I think it is threatening for them for sure.

    I didn't (or rather, don't) have that much to lose but my partner is definitely struggling to know whether he's a) REALLY FREAKING THRILLED THAT HIS GIRLFRIEND IS GETTING EVEN HOTTER or b) whether he now feels (even more) self conscious about his own weight.

    An example: yesterday he looked down my body and said, and this is an exact quote, 'f**k, you've lost even more weight. Look how tiny your stomach is! Ugh, you so hot. I don't like it'.

    You gotta feel for them.... but in the same breath if they're not comfortable with their own bodies enough to feel like they don't match up to ours then they need to do something about it. I'm not saying they need to get buff or lose weight or whatever (unless, of course, they want to!) ... I'm just saying they need to talk it out and resolve these issues with us.

    All you can really do is explain how you feel and hope that he'll explain how he feels. And reassure him.... which sucks. I hate reassuring people. But if I needed that kind of reassurance from my partner it would be even more sucky if I didn't get it!!

    This is all a bit high and mighty coming from an 18 year old who clearly knows nothing of marriage, this is just my 2 cents, you're more than welcome to entirely disregard it :)
  • emy69
    emy69 Posts: 1
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    Doesn't matter that you are 'only' 18. You had good insight!! :D
  • dbg1
    dbg1 Posts: 208
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    Regretfully, most people exercise hard to entice attraction when dating. Then it goes away when together. But when one wants to get fit again, it has been because of interest from someone else or interested in someone else - lots of time.

    Just spend more time with your partner. Have him join you in your exercises, etc..
  • WalkingMermaid_
    WalkingMermaid_ Posts: 205 Member
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    Wow, I personally would tell him to p*ss off! :explode:

    Don't let him grind you down, you've worked hard for your new body and NOBODY has the right to make you feel bad about it, OR to make you feel bad about receiving compliments.

    Kudos to you for embarking on a healthier life, you deserve praise, not jealousy :flowerforyou:
  • tessaeve
    tessaeve Posts: 75 Member
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    I kind of went thru this when I started to lose the weight. I found out that a handful of his friends were telling him that I was losing weight to find another man. He is in excellent health but is quite a bit older than me so they were telling him that I was looking for a younger man.
    Thank goodness that with a little reassurance from me and his awesome self confidence this all passed and now he is my number one supporter. In my case it was outside influence and easily fixable. Good luck and you look great!
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
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    Well, this is a warm and touching morning read . . .
    [/quote



    baahahahaha. Thanks.. I really needed a GOOD laugh. I guess it sounds a little psycho after re-reading it. lololol

    It doesn't sound psycho. Back five years ago, I lost 121 lbs. I got downright thin. My husband was not with me, he was against me in subtle ways. Some people do not want you to change.

    I gained it all back. He reminds me of that. Last night he said that he just waits me out and knows that eventually everything will be the same as it was, seeing as though he has known me for nearly sixteen years.

    But I am not sixteen years old. I am 48. There are thirty two years of me that he doesn't know and most of those years were not spent in the range of 200-300 lbs.

    I have determination and grit that he doesn't get and now that he's seeing it, he's scared and feeling threatened.
  • JeanneROlsen
    JeanneROlsen Posts: 11 Member
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    Communicate, communicate, communicate! My husband and I talk about EVERYTHING... even that hot guy or girl jogging down the road! When we were first going out, my husband tried to tell me who I could and couldn't hang out with... TRIED! I told him exactly how I felt about that and we now both understand how much we mean to the other one. (We've been together 14.5 years now!)
    I honestly believe that a relationship needs to have communication and trust first off!
    Make sure he knows that you're doing it for your health and personal image.
    Make sure he knows how much you love and trust HIM and only him.
  • bostonwolf
    bostonwolf Posts: 3,038 Member
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    I thought you were gonna say "Now I lost weight my husband wants sex all the time", His response is bizarro and disturbing.

    This is what I was expecting as well.

    I purged my jealousy in my early 20s when I realized it was causing far more harm then good.

    He's just feeling threatened, would be my guess. Reassure him that you are doing this for yourself first and him second. Hell he should be HAPPY other guys are hitting on you. He knows who you are coming home with, after all.
  • healthygreek
    healthygreek Posts: 2,137 Member
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    Mine is weirdly jealous, too. We're in our 30's. He doesn't freak out about things, like yours did, but I get 500,000 questions every time I go some place. He's never been this jealous- or really jealous at all- in the 15 years we've been together.

    There are two guys in particular who are professional contacts and our relationship is just that- professional. But my husband gets extremely jealous anytime their names come up.

    I've still got about 30 pounds to lose and I'm not going to stay fat just so he can stay comfortable.
    good for you! Those are his issues to deal with!
  • terem00
    terem00 Posts: 176 Member
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    OMG yes yes yes!
    I've gone thru a total body makeover and I can finally say I look and feel awesome however my husband has shown little support. All he has shown me is his jealous and controlling side.
    I can't leave the house or use my phone or text anyone without him thinking I'm cheating on him. He invaded my privacy by taking my phone away and looking for "evidence", he's even gone onto my laptop to dig thru my files and pictures.
    He has had me followed by friends and has even hired a private investigator to follow me. He constantly calls me at work just to make sure I am there. I confronted him about all this but it was always my fault, never his insecurities.
    Needless to say I have kicked him to the curb and we are now seperated....what a big weight off my shoulders!

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