Completely defeated
mstrickland9
Posts: 102
Hello my friends, I am coming here to confess that I have gained back ALL the 6 pounds I had lost and also gained 2 more. I have changed my ticker to show that I have started over and have lost zero pounds. I just feel absolutely disgusted with myself. I was on a good road but I just allowed myself to get complacent. There were too many family dinners and dinners out with my husband at restaurants where I just totally blew it and didn't even log what I ate for that day. I don't know if I even have the heart to start all over again, but I know I have to if I ever want to feel comfortable in my own skin again! I set my calories to lose 1 pound per week, which then gave me 1320 calories per day. I am going to really make a renewed effort here and crack down on myself. I guess I am writing to you all just to get all this off my chest, I am feeling so discouraged and defeated right now.
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Replies
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Hon, i was in a similar position a few of weeks ago. I did really well, lost about 7lbs and then after a stressful week of moving house and going to a festival, i put most of it back on. I too felt disgusted with myself, especially because i felt like i had worked so hard to lose that weight, and it was difficult to do. Suddenly it was right back to square one and i didn't know if i could face it.
Having to put my ticker back, and change my weight on MFP was such a disheartening process, and made me feel even worse, but i knew that i would never get back on track if i wasn't honest with myself.
You've taken the first step, and it takes guts; it's all too easy to close your eyes, clamp your hands over your ears and tell yourself, 'i just won't bother, i'm sure i'll lose that weight some point soon'. But you won't if you don't try, so by accepting the problem you have also accepted that you're willing to try again, which as i said take guts.
The first two or three days are the hardest; your body has got used to eating that amount again, and will probably fight you, (that's just me speaking from experience there) and you will have to be strong to resist the urge to fall off the wagon again. But once you get past those few days, it will become easier; you will remember how much you enjoy being healthy, trating your body right and being in control of your eating habits. In a weeks time when you step on those scales and see you've lost a pound or two, or maybe more, you will be absolutely elated and so proud of yourself for getting off your *kitten*, and battling through those first few days.
I KNOW you can do it. I'm two pounds away from the weight i was before i put eveything back on, and then it's onwards and upwards, (or should i say downwards!) to my target goal.
Don't give up; yes it might be difficult at first, but you've done it before and you can do it again!!!0 -
Strickland, you came BACK though! And we are all here with you, in the same boat, needing to shed loads of weight. We will do it together.
I know it can be done. One day at a time . One week at a time. One month at a time. There is no penalty for yo yo dieting either. It has been disproven. The best thing you can do is start again!0 -
Dont beat yourself up, we ALL make mistakes, have setbacks and even become complacent with progress. One of my biggest problems despite all the weight I have lost is that I tend to binge eat at times, and other times I simply over do it on the junk foods. For me, this is terrible because I gain weight easily but dont seem to lose it quite as easy either. 2 years ago I would kick myself during those moments but that didnt help. Over time I learned to simply but the mistakes aside, and focus on the current/next workout, focus on the next meal ONLY. Instead of thinking about next week, or next weekend, Im only thinking about todays workout, the next meal and how I can make the best of these current situations. If you want to lose weight, Great!, but focus on the next pound, not the next 10 or 15. Take it one at a time and you will hit your goal without even realizing it.0
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Have you considered that maybe you need to try something different? I was really *****y when I was eating low calorie. I found that eating at 1600 or 1700 calories still allowed me to lose, but prevented me from feeling so deprived that I flipped out.
Try the TDEE-15% method and see what happens. Make sure to eat at least your BMR. You might feel much better and it might be SO much easier.
http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/0 -
Thanks everyone for your encouraging words, really made me feel a whole lot better this morning!0
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Who knows? This may be you're turning point. Good luck.
A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition0 -
Hey - I just "got back on the wagon" myself. I had surgery on March 29, and the recovery was really a lot more difficult than I expected/hoped. I ended up being told that dieting during recovery wasn't a smart idea, so I ran with that.
I weighed in yesterday and gained 18 pounds. UGH.
Today's a new day, and we can't do anything about yesterday, only plan for today/tomorrow.
Keep your chin up - you can do it!0 -
Thanks for posting this! I gained 10 pounds during this past school year and am feeling totally enervated by the thought of what I am going to have to do to get back in shape.
No matter which method I use, I am stuck with low calorie eating if I want to lose the weight. It doesn't matter which measurement, which method - it is ALWAYS going to be 1200 calories and quite frankly I AM SICK OF BEING HUNGRY!
But as someone "above" has commented, (thank you, Someone!), this will become easier in time....
Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!
:sad:0 -
Hi There: Are you still breathing? Yes? Then you are not completely defeated.
Today is a new day!
Your motivation may be low-but all you need is an "Attitude Adjustment"
And I am just the gal to help you in your adjustment.
May I share a story with you? -one that may get you thinking straight.
When a baby elephant is born in a circus, the owner puts a huge chain on her ankle that is drilled into the ground.
The baby elephant pulls and tugs at this chain but is unable to get free.
As the elephant grows they keep putting larger chains on it , and again the elephant pulls and tugs at it-but is unsuccessful.
Then when the elephant is full grown-the owner replaces the huge chain with a simple rope -loosely secured in the ground-and the elephant doesn't even try to break free.
Do you know why?
Because she doesn't believe she can!!
I believe somewhere in you-you want to change your health, fitness level and physique
But I also believe you have given up.
You justify eating in restaurants, family get togethers- hubby-what have you's?
But your allowing these excuses to rob you of shining bright like the star you were meant to be.
You are justifying why you aren't succeeding.
I have overcome many addictions in my life-drugs, alcohol,smoking and now I'm working on my weight, health and pride.
It all started with the idea of being" sick and tired" of being "sick and tired"
One day at a time-is a motto in A.A.
Here it's 1 lbs. at a time.
You know what you have to do-believe in yourself!
Dig down deep-locate your courage!
Put your sneakers on.
Fill your fridge with healthy foods.-throw out the junk food-or at least hide it.
Hug yourself-because you are a wonderful woman and get started.
Finally admit that you are worthy of all the dreams you can dream for yourself.
Read the success stories-they are remarkable transformations. They did it-you can-I can too!
Now! is the time to Break Free!!!!!
I'll be praying for you!
Contact me any time!0 -
Hi There: Are you still breathing? Yes? Then you are not completely defeated.
Today is a new day!
Your motivation may be low-but all you need is an "Attitude Adjustment"
And I am just the gal to help you in your adjustment.
May I share a story with you? -one that may get you thinking straight.
When a baby elephant is born in a circus, the owner puts a huge chain on her ankle that is drilled into the ground.
The baby elephant pulls and tugs at this chain but is unable to get free.
As the elephant grows they keep putting larger chains on it , and again the elephant pulls and tugs at it-but is unsuccessful.
Then when the elephant is full grown-the owner replaces the huge chain with a simple rope -loosely secured in the ground-and the elephant doesn't even try to break free.
Do you know why?
Because she doesn't believe she can!!
I believe somewhere in you-you want to change your health, fitness level and physique
But I also believe you have given up.
You justify eating in restaurants, family get togethers- hubby-what have you's?
But your allowing these excuses to rob you of shining bright like the star you were meant to be.
You are justifying why you aren't succeeding.
I have overcome many addictions in my life-drugs, alcohol,smoking and now I'm working on my weight, health and pride.
It all started with the idea of being" sick and tired" of being "sick and tired"
One day at a time-is a motto in A.A.
Here it's 1 lbs. at a time.
You know what you have to do-believe in yourself!
Dig down deep-locate your courage!
Put your sneakers on.
Fill your fridge with healthy foods.-throw out the junk food-or at least hide it.
Hug yourself-because you are a wonderful woman and get started.
Finally admit that you are worthy of all the dreams you can dream for yourself.
Read the success stories-they are remarkable transformations. They did it-you can-I can too!
Now! is the time to Break Free!!!!!
I'll be praying for you!
Contact me any time!
Thanks for that great analogy, I see your point. And I HAVE been making excuses. I am back on track as of today. Just went for a run and I think that made me feel a little better too.0 -
Hello my friends, I am coming here to confess that I have gained back ALL the 6 pounds I had lost and also gained 2 more. I have changed my ticker to show that I have started over and have lost zero pounds. I just feel absolutely disgusted with myself. I was on a good road but I just allowed myself to get complacent. There were too many family dinners and dinners out with my husband at restaurants where I just totally blew it and didn't even log what I ate for that day. I don't know if I even have the heart to start all over again, but I know I have to if I ever want to feel comfortable in my own skin again! I set my calories to lose 1 pound per week, which then gave me 1320 calories per day. I am going to really make a renewed effort here and crack down on myself. I guess I am writing to you all just to get all this off my chest, I am feeling so discouraged and defeated right now.
I once lost 35 pounds and I put it all back on. Don't worry about it just dig in and stick with it.0 -
Hon, i was in a similar position a few of weeks ago. I did really well, lost about 7lbs and then after a stressful week of moving house and going to a festival, i put most of it back on. I too felt disgusted with myself, especially because i felt like i had worked so hard to lose that weight, and it was difficult to do. Suddenly it was right back to square one and i didn't know if i could face it.
Having to put my ticker back, and change my weight on MFP was such a disheartening process, and made me feel even worse, but i knew that i would never get back on track if i wasn't honest with myself.
You've taken the first step, and it takes guts; it's all too easy to close your eyes, clamp your hands over your ears and tell yourself, 'i just won't bother, i'm sure i'll lose that weight some point soon'. But you won't if you don't try, so by accepting the problem you have also accepted that you're willing to try again, which as i said take guts.
The first two or three days are the hardest; your body has got used to eating that amount again, and will probably fight you, (that's just me speaking from experience there) and you will have to be strong to resist the urge to fall off the wagon again. But once you get past those few days, it will become easier; you will remember how much you enjoy being healthy, trating your body right and being in control of your eating habits. In a weeks time when you step on those scales and see you've lost a pound or two, or maybe more, you will be absolutely elated and so proud of yourself for getting off your *kitten*, and battling through those first few days.
I KNOW you can do it. I'm two pounds away from the weight i was before i put eveything back on, and then it's onwards and upwards, (or should i say downwards!) to my target goal.
Don't give up; yes it might be difficult at first, but you've done it before and you can do it again!!!
Thanks for the advice on what to expect the next few days. Can't wait to weigh myself in a few days!0 -
When you think of it as a "diet" then you are always starting over.
Yes, I have also gained back pounds I lost, but I'm not "starting over", I'm still just working out the lifestyle. Things happen, we just have to adjust.0 -
No reason for disgust or feelings of defeat. Progress doesn't happen in a straight line. You are ahead of where you were. You know you can do it. And you know that eating out is currently a problem. So you can go back to what you were doing and tweak the process by rethinking the eating out piece. Here are some ideas:
1. Eat out less
2. Eat out at different restaurants
3. Review the menu online before you go, pick what you will eat and enter it in MFP before you go.
4. Exercise like a demon and make your other meals light on the day you eat out.
All of these ideas have worked for me. Don't expect that you will at anytime get it all figured out and solve the problem. You, like me and I suspect everyone on this site, will be forever tweaking what they are doing. Just pay attention to what works and what trips you up, so you can continue to progress. And ALWAYS BE KIND TO YOURSELF!!0 -
Keep at it, I'm struggling to be consistent. I can have a few great days then fall off the wagon. Any tips out there? I seem to be really good during the day but once I get home it falls apart with late evening meals and little to no exercise0
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I think it is a good sign that you haven't completely given up. You are starting anew...I tried to take it day by day and sometimes I fail but I don't quit because I know that I have a definite goal. Keep motivated and good luck to you!0
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Look, you came back, that is a HUGE step. Next just start all over again. I think all of us have those days.weeks, months. Don't worry, I still have days where I don't log in because I am ashamed of what I have eaten. You are GOOD!! And Never call it a diet, call it a life change. Cause that is what it is.0
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Well you're still here. "Mistakes" are from learning from. You identified some of the problems you had last time, so this time around you'll do better. Baby steps are better than no steps at all. You aren't "defeated" by any means! Get some good friends on here and let them be your support group. Check out some of the success stories; there is no reason you can't be one of them!
Kudos for returning! That is dedication. You haven't given up.0 -
3. Review the menu online before you go, pick what you will eat and enter it in MFP before you go.
I do this all the time. In fact, I pick restaurants specifically if they DO have their nutrition info available and on-line so I can figure out what I will let myself have before hand. Unfortunately, it's usually only the big chain restuarants that do, and I really like to support local 'mom and pop' type businesses... So, when I do go to a restaurant like that, I usually go with salads or something.0 -
One of the keys, in my opinion at least, is that you must log everything. no matter how little, no matter how trivial, no matter how bad you blew it. That way your mind doesn't help whitewash bad eating. Even if you blow it every day for a month log it all. If nothing else it's a visible tell that something is getting out of wack and you can see that you need to exercise more or eat less in the following days to help compensate and stay on track.
You CAN do this, the fact that you owned up to what you've did incorrectly says a lot for your dedication, a lot of people would have flat given up and quit-- you didn't. So get back up on the horse and ride again.
You're in it for the long haul and you can do this. Stick with it.0 -
I felt of the wagon too for the last two days. Keep log in and praying that tomorrow I will be good and go back to my healthy lifestyle/0
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I'm right there with you. I joined MFP some years back and I had already lost about 20 lbs. I lost a few more and then gained a few back. My sister messaged me and wanted me to join MFP to help motivate her without knowing I was already a member. So to assist my little sister I started logging back in and I was shocked that I had gained that much back. I started working out steadily at the first of May and I'm down ten lbs, but I'm not even back on my MFP 'radar' yet. Some days it's discouraging, but on a good day when I've got up and worked out at 6:00 in the morning and I have more energy and I'm thinking more clearly, I see it as a challenge and I know I'm working toward a better me - body, mind, and soul. The numbers are just a way to track progress.
Thanks for posting and keep up the hard work... some of us need to hear 'real' people stories.0 -
You CAN come back from this. Just remember those pounds didn't show up overnight and they won't go away that fast either. Don't try to make too many changes at one time, it's best to take baby steps. If suddenly you're working out like a fiend or severly cutting your calories it's harder to maintain.
I lost 90+ pounds 5 years ago. Then I gained about 60 of that back, mostly over the last year and a half. I finally looked at myself and saw what I was becoming again so I stopped and decided a new year, a new me. I was going good then at the end of January I got the flu and lost my momentum. After recovering from the flu and getting back on track I started really using MFP and have over 130 days of logging in. My diary isn't always pretty but I do it.
I still eat all the same foods, just in smaller portions. When I go out to eat at a resturant I try to check out the menu and nutrition facts online to pick the best foods for me. If I have a big family meal I pretty much know from the start I'll go over my calories that day. Since it's not a daily thing I don't sweat it.
So take a deep breath, stop beating yourself up, and begin again. It is worth it!
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I lost over 120 pounds and gained it back plus another 20. We're all in the same boat.
http://www.medstudentsonline.com.au/attachments/f115/689-otago-hsfy-chat-archive-madeyemoody.gif
Urghhhh! Someone fix my gif, please?0 -
Try this: Set your calorie goal to whatever it would be for maintenance at your goal weight.
It will be a deficit from what you're currently needing/eating, but it won't be as as ambitious or difficult to keep up with as if you tried to lose X lbs per week.
Because you'll be less likely to go over your daily calorie goal, it will encourage you to stick to it and to log everything you eat.0 -
Try this: Set your calorie goal to whatever it would be for maintenance at your goal weight.
It will be a deficit from what you're currently needing/eating, but it won't be as as ambitious or difficult to keep up with as if you tried to lose X lbs per week.
Because you'll be less likely to go over your daily calorie goal, it will encourage you to stick to it and to log everything you eat.
Thanks, good idea!0 -
Two and a half years ago, I dropped about 30 pounds. I was very excited to do so -- a little too excited, perhaps. I worked on my abs every single day, with no time for recovery. Eventually I had a disturbing abdominal bulge that convinced me I had a hernia. I stopped ALL activity, but ate whatever I wanted without any notion of the calories I was packing on... and the weight slowly creeped back on. Somewhere in there, I started moving around again for a while, but then I broke an arm and stopped again. I was so discouraged, I just gave up. Within two years, I had regained all of the weight I'd just lost, plus a little more.
Half a year ago, I said Enough. I felt I was on the edge where I could either change my ways and become healthier, or start facing real health problems that could do permanent damage. I got a pedometer and started walking a LOT. The weight started coming off again. I came to this site and started tracking calories, and more of it came off. I found I could do more, so I did. I used the weight machines in the gym at my workplace. As I got lighter and stronger, I found that my knees didn't hurt, my ankles didn't hurt, my back and neck weren't as stiff. And I could do more, so I did. Not just in the gym, but around the home and elsewhere. I got my life back.
I dropped a total of about 45 pounds. In the process, the "hernia" bulge became noticeable, but this time I resolved to take care of it and not let it derail me. I was surprised to find out that it wasn't a hernia; I needed some other surgery. I had that almost four weeks ago. It went a lot easier because I was in good shape. The recovery went well and I'm back at my normal activity, and looking forward to lifting heavy, learning street fighting skills, and all sorts of other things. Last night I ran a mile at a steady pace without stopping, for what I think was the very first time in my life. I just started logging my foods again last week after taking a break to recover, and was happy that I hadn't gained much at all during the respite. I've learned more about myself in the process this time, and figuring out how the past six months' worth of lifestyle changes are going to become permanent for me.
My point? I've "started over" more than once. It can be done. So sure, you're starting over. "Starting over" is just "starting." Starting is the hardest part, but here you are and you've started already. YOU CAN DO THIS. You're on the right path. Don't beat yourself up. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on.
ETA: I just looked at your profile. You seem to be EXACTLY where I was that half a year ago. I'm your age, and I'm now at that target weight of 130. A few weeks ago, I pulled all my old clothes out of the boxes and had a blast trying them all on again. I know you can do this, and I know you're going to have SO much fun once you do!0 -
Thanks to each and every one of you and your encouraging and motivating words!0
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