Fat is not contagious!!!

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kikisf
kikisf Posts: 58 Member
in Motivation and Support
Maybe I am being hypersensitive but when I was pregnant people made eye contact with me all the time. Sometimes they would glance at my belly to make sure I was pregnant and not just fat but they made eye contact and spoke to me. Now that I am no longer pregnant I am just fat. Not overweight but clinically obese and people treat me completely differently. A little boy kept laughing at me at a restaurant and his mother didn't know why but i did. But most importantly people avoid looking at you when your fat. They don't say hello or good morning or when I try to engage them in polite conversation like the weather they barely respond or do so reluctantly. I want to shake them and scream you are not going to get fat by simply associating with me!! It sucks, sucks. sucks.

Now that I have lost some of the weight I can see some people are starting to come around again. At my Bikram studio nobody (except the owner who has known me for a long time) would say 2 words to me. I huffed struggled and sweated in my Speedo one piece bathing suit because they don't make hot yoga clothes in plus sizes. (Screw you Lulu Lemon) and the folks behind the desk never said much to me and if I said, "Whew! tough class today," in the locker area most of the men would look on the floor side to side as if they were searching for lost change and mumble something unintelligible. Last Sunday I did the 8am class and the girls behid the counter said, "Wow, how do you look so put together so early?" I was wearing the exact same shapeless terry cloth dress I always wear, no makeup, my hair unwashed for days was in a top knot that I made the day before, clogs and my every day jewelry. I was flabbergasted trying to figure out why not only did I suddenly get a compliment but they actually spoke to me beyond the required speil. I told them that the baby gets up at 6:30/7 am and they nodded saying, "Ahh, I see you are used to getting up early." I went in the bathroom to look at myself and realized the only difference between this morning and every other morning prior was that I wasn't as fat. Maybe I passed some invisible fat threshhold in which I was not so fat that I am no longer seen as a red alert contaigious risk but rather an orange or yellow alert. Bite me.

Replies

  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    I was having this same conversation with a friend! In this particular group of friends, there are two women who are gym obsessed. Like, at least 2-3 hours of cardio a day, lifting. I have been off and on at the same gym as them for years, and now I am "on" again. I was on the elliptical next to one of these women and she not only didn't acknowledge me, she wouldn't make eye contact. We have been to several of the same social occasions, too - a mutual friend's bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, etc., so she knows perfectly well who I am. I told a mutual friend, she must think fat is contagious. Then another mutual friend said this same woman couldn't hide her shock when she saw that she gained a few pounds. It's so weird how some people react to overweight people.

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  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
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    Obviously don't know the truth as to why, all of a sudden, they were friendlier. Maybe it was because it was at a different time of the day? IDK. But, I do understand that fat/skinny threshold. I have never been skinny, per se, but I have been smaller and healthier looking. I know the difference between how I was treated at 325 pounds and how I was treated at barely 200. Like you said, it does suck... suck... suck. I've learned that those stuck ups aren't needed, nor wanted, in my life. That little kid laughing, kids are mean. Yes, they are the joys of our worlds, but they are mean, plainly put. Lolz.

    I suggest just keep doing you, and keep working back to your expensive size 10 wardrobe... hehe.
  • kikisf
    kikisf Posts: 58 Member
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    We have been to several of the same social occasions, too - a mutual friend's bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, etc., so she knows perfectly well who I am.

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    You guy's went to all those events together have a mutual firiend and she still acts like that? Unbelievable! That is just over the top rude. At least a nod just to acknowledge your existence shouldn't result in any unwanted fat transfer.

    @needtolose115 I usually go to the very early class or the very late class (before or after my husband goes to work so he can watch LO) so I'm not sure it was that. It occurred to me that it might be because they had been partying the night before. I rarely drink at all these days and just one glass of wine when I do. I know that I have lost a lot of weight in my face and neck and I certainly eat clean and drink lots of water so maybe my face has the healthy glow now that I am feeding it properly. And yes, I cannot wait till I can go shopping in my storage closet!!
  • redscylla
    redscylla Posts: 211 Member
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    You're not imagining it. My mother is morbidly obese and I can vouch for the fact that when we are somewhere together, people will always try to redirect the conversation to me, rather than talk to my mother. Which is doomed to fail, because I may be less fat but I am total introvert. I have noticed, now that I'm down almost 40 lbs. from my heaviest that store clerks tend to be more helpful as well, too. Sad but true.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    You guy's went to all those events together have a mutual firiend and she still acts like that? Unbelievable! That is just over the top rude. At least a nod just to acknowledge your existence shouldn't result in any unwanted fat transfer.

    I know! We have more than one mutual friend, too!

    I have lost a lot weight in the past, and gone from really fat to normal size and I had a hard time sorting out in my head why I was treated differently. It really had an effect on me. Losing weight is definitely not just a physical transition.
  • kikisf
    kikisf Posts: 58 Member
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    I have noticed, now that I'm down almost 40 lbs. from my heaviest that store clerks tend to be more helpful as well, too. Sad but true.

    Right! I am practically invisible in stores.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    People at the gym started saying hi to me after I'd been going every day for a few months. I'm not sure that I'd say it's because I got less fat, though. Maybe it's just because people became familiar with me after seeing me around so many times?

    I mean, I agree in general that thin people are treated better than fat people, but there might be other reasons, too.
  • Delicate
    Delicate Posts: 625 Member
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    Are you sure its not a mixture of you changing physically and maybe coming out of your shell more with the exercise?

    I used to try and hide in the background, a few instructors made an effort to try and talk to me, but being a shy wee cretor and got embarrased easily.

    Yoga more than anything got me out of my shyness (with some of the positions, you cant be shy!)

    I will smile at a person I have seen a few times, but if you smile to a stranger, they think you are crazy.
  • kikisf
    kikisf Posts: 58 Member
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    Are you sure its not a mixture of you changing physically and maybe coming out of your shell more with the exercise?

    I am the opposite of anorexic. You know how skinny people think they are fat? Well I'm fat and convinced I am skinny! I have never weighed this much before. I just let myself go during the pregnacy and I honestly did not realize exactly how fat I was until I saw some photos from Mother's Day. Thats when I started really buckling down.

    Maybe they decided I wasn't crazy after they had seen me a few times because yes I am the extroverted stranger that smiles at you.
  • lithezebra
    lithezebra Posts: 3,670 Member
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    Ugh. Pretentious, judgmental people were not my favorite thing about growing up and spending much of my life in the SF Bay Area. The place seems to have a few more than its share. Congratulations on having your baby, on going to yoga whether people are friendly or not, on being nice to the people around you, and on getting in shape.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    It irritates me when someone snickers or makes a snide remark when they pass a heavy person jogging on the side of the road. Hey, at least they are out there instead of lazing around in the car like the rude person making the insulting remarks in the first place!

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