Just cannot do it!

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2

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  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
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    I started losing weight at the same time my friend had the lap band surgery...well here we are now I lost a LOT of weight and she weighs 10 pounds more than she did before her surgery. The problem with surgery is it does not fix the mind. You have to conquer your mind before you can conquer your body. There is NO QUICK FIX to weight loss
  • mamasmaltz3
    mamasmaltz3 Posts: 1,111 Member
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    I don't know what kind of plan you were following, but I find a moderate approach is much more sustainable than severe restriction. I don't have anything off limit and if I want it then I have it. As soon as I say to myself I can't have something that something becomes all I can think about. I make fitness goals and work to improve that area. So, a natural result of wanting to reach my fitness goals is that I eat more nutritious food. I weight train and try to reach my protein requirements for the day.

    A big thing for me has been to concentrate on ADDING healthy food and movement to my days. Don't concentrate on what you can't have or do. Add more fruits and vegetables to what you are already eating. You can be successful. The biggest battle is with your mind and all the crazy diet schemes seem to come from everywhere.
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
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    The problem with being an emotional eater is I have a combo of bipolar disorder and I am a recovering borderline personality. I turned to prescription drugs for years and it was easy. I had a drug of abuse for every mood-valium for the anxiety, caffeine pills plus pseudoephrine for drowsiness or slow thoughts and my favourite, the opiates for sadness. People take painkillers for physical pain all the time (and that is how I started out on them) but I ended up taking them for emotional pain and if I had gone on I would have killed myself the doses I was on.
    Now I do not have my drugs I am turning to food to alter my mood. It works in the short term but then I get an energy crash and weight gain is slowing me down.
    I have put on about 50 lbs since quitting drugs. It is just really tough. I struggle to control my emotions and thus struggle to control my eating. I am thinking of trying overeaters anonymous and seeing if that helps.

    Sounds good. You may also benefit from individual therapy that focuses on building healthy coping skills and behaviors. The key is to own your issues, and make the decision daily to address them appropriately and consistently. Take responsibility for your physical and emotional health and get good people on your team-friends, therapists, a support group like OA, etc.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,051 Member
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    GB surgery doesn't cure depression.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    The problem with being an emotional eater is I have a combo of bipolar disorder and I am a recovering borderline personality. I turned to prescription drugs for years and it was easy. I had a drug of abuse for every mood-valium for the anxiety, caffeine pills plus pseudoephrine for drowsiness or slow thoughts and my favourite, the opiates for sadness. People take painkillers for physical pain all the time (and that is how I started out on them) but I ended up taking them for emotional pain and if I had gone on I would have killed myself the doses I was on.
    Now I do not have my drugs I am turning to food to alter my mood. It works in the short term but then I get an energy crash and weight gain is slowing me down.
    I have put on about 50 lbs since quitting drugs. It is just really tough. I struggle to control my emotions and thus struggle to control my eating. I am thinking of trying overeaters anonymous and seeing if that helps.

    The combination of getting sober and taking meds for bipolar disorder helped me pack on 90+ lbs. Until I got sick of being fat, unfit, unable to live the life I wanted to live. So I came to MFP, educated myself about successful weight lose, healthful eating habits and exercise and put what I learned into action.

    6 months later I am 30lbs lighter and feeling better than ever. I can't wait for my work to result in the lose of the remaining lbs.
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    eating poorly to "soothe" your emotions only causes you to have something else to be down in the dumps about...your health. In my experience, when dealing with emotional trauma, if I can continue to make healthy choices, I feel better about myself and I deal better with the emotional trauma. Unfortunately, I had some pretty extreme emotional trauma last summer and I stopped making healthy choices....and that just compounded my troubles. Not only was I having to deal with some emotional crap, but I then became really down about losing the good health that I had gained. It was difficult to stop that growing snowball until I finally did so around Memorial Day. By that time, I had gained back 62 of the 75 pounds I had lost. I am now back on it and doing well...but it really does suck to have to lose the same weight again.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
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    Hi have been away from MFP for about a month now. I joined up in January and managed to lose a stone. Everything was going well and I lost 1 stone. Unfortunately I have been under a lot of stress in the past few weeks and am suffering from depression. I am back to comfort eating and am undoing all my good work. Seriously considering the gastric band option.

    If it were mey, I'd try counseling first. You need to deal with your depression and find ways to comfort yourself without food, or you'll just end up gaining it all back.
  • DancesWithBirds
    DancesWithBirds Posts: 25 Member
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    I struggle with an anxiety disorder.

    Three years ago, when I was first diagnosed, my doctor put me on medication for it but said, "you know, the best way to manage this is with cognitive therapy, diet and exercise. The medication is just a tool to help get you straight so you can get to a place where you can manage without it."

    I didn't listen to him, but I hated the meds. I bounced in and out of them and in and out of severe anxiety attacks and depression.

    One year ago my life situation made my anxiety and stress unmanageable, and since I didn't have insurance I couldn't go to the doctor for cognitive therapy OR meds. My choices were to keep going the way I was going and let it overwhelm me and just die, or find another way out. One night after dinner I went for a run. I use the term "run" loosely because I was severely out of shape and couldn't jog for more than 30 seconds at a time. But I felt better when I got home and I kept doing it. After a couple of weeks of nightly runs, I started working on my diet. At first it was just keeping within a calorie goal. Eventually I started actually eating better food.

    It's taken me a year, but I have managed to separate my emotions from eating, and boy I did a lot of emotional eating! I gained 10 pounds in two months last summer before I decided to try to manage my situation in another way. And it started with exercise. It got me into a different head space.

    I'm telling you this because I came to realize that taking care of my body was part of taking care of my mental health. I still have quite a ways to go before I'm whole again, but I feel like I'm on the right track. Try replacing your emotional eating with something else.

    Incidentally, now that I can run, I don't run anymore. I rediscovered my bike and I much prefer that. I've also been strength training. Find something you love to do, even if you suck at it the first time you try. It does get better.
  • crisbabe81
    crisbabe81 Posts: 170
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    I had lap band in 2009, lost weight initially, but gained it back when I started to get depressed and ate my emotions. PLEASE address your emotional issues and stress otherwise you will yo-yo. I've been over weight most of my adult life and I know the weight is a big reason I get depressed. You're taking the right steps in asking for help. Take it one day at a time. You have to walk before you can run. Best of luck
  • nono422
    nono422 Posts: 2
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    Okay, the first successful thing that I believe you did was to share this very private issue. The replies have been very good and honest. Now, its up to you, how serious are you to get this surgery done to your body? It is a serious type of surgery with many restrictions and challenges. Are you up for that now in your life? Should you decide to wait, perhaps the issues need to be addressed first and foremost. Try making small goals and reaching them within 15 days. Along with that make some changes within yourself holding you back. Perhaps reach out to a good honest friend or relative to help you be accountable. If that does not work for you, a good book offering some self help, personal improvements. The book that helped me with my weight of burdens was Traveling Light, Traveling Light is about leaving your heavy burdens behind and moving forward. Excellent reading. Really keeps you focused and helps you discern the areas in your life that need to be tweeked. A good feeling type of book.
    You CAN do it, its just a bump on the road that you can walk over ...soon. Good luck and the sun will shine through these dark clouds today.
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
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    You do understand that even with the surgery, you'll have to change your habits, right? The surgery isn't an automatic success.

    ^^ This. My sister in law and her daughter both had the surgery. The mom gained it all back and then some and the daughter is currently gaining it back. The mom however, has now lost almost 50 lbs by tracking her intake vs her output. The band is not an option if you're not going to change the habits that got you here in the first place.
  • rosiecbolton
    rosiecbolton Posts: 85 Member
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    Thank you for the lovely messages. I thought I would get a load of "just go on and eat then...or go back to drugs" type of messages so glad about that.
    I have referred myself to a counselling service and am waiting for an appointment for that.
    I am giving it another go so no more food tonight!
  • rosiecbolton
    rosiecbolton Posts: 85 Member
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    I wish they had surgery where they could just cut out your stomach totally!
  • luulu1999
    luulu1999 Posts: 119
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    You can def do it without surgery....I know several people who have had the lapband it they are just as fat now as they were when they got it.....and I know several people who have done gastric bypass that it has made horribly sick because they don't follow the diet.....there is no fast fix to being overweight that is going to be permanent except changing your lifestyle just about every diet pill says take with diet and exercise...well if you still have to diet and exercise you might as well just do that and not worry about side effects from procedures and meds....all you need is a little faith in yourself and you can get back on track
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
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    Thank you for the lovely messages. I thought I would get a load of "just go on and eat then...or go back to drugs" type of messages so glad about that.
    I have referred myself to a counselling service and am waiting for an appointment for that.
    I am giving it another go so no more food tonight!

    So, you did decide to begin? Hot damn! Making that choice is victory number one right there!

    And if you apply yourself honestly to a program and it isn't effective (no I didn't say if it wasn't comfortable b/c it probably won't be, but effective), then keep trying things until you find something that makes that light come on, and go full tilt on your own behalf. :)
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Thank you for the lovely messages. I thought I would get a load of "just go on and eat then...or go back to drugs" type of messages so glad about that.
    I have referred myself to a counselling service and am waiting for an appointment for that.
    I am giving it another go so no more food tonight!
    :flowerforyou:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    I wish they had surgery where they could just cut out your stomach totally!

    they do...it's called an RNY

    then they make you a new stomach with your upper intestinal tract and you STILL have to learn to eat properly and you STILL have to learn to be responsible for what food you put in your mouth

    or else you gain it all back.
  • terrabit
    terrabit Posts: 33 Member
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    Thats nothing... I was down from 320 to 220 in 1 year. I am back up to 290. Dont give a ****... started the program again last week and will follow through. This was a huge setback, but much like quitting smoking, it usually takes me a try or two for it to stick.
    Jogging is *really* hard now. I was doing 2 5k runs per week, a bike ride, and a 10+K every weekend, and now I am struggling to walk/run 3k.

    Its really sad but at the same time I am sooo mad at myself and thats a good motivator.
  • thisdamselflies
    thisdamselflies Posts: 92 Member
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    I think the support system of OA could definitely be helpful, and the people there should be able to point you in the direction of a trusted therapist if you're interested in something like that. I would also suggest that if you're using food to essentially self-medicate, you can also start searching for healthier alternatives to replace food in that role. Exercise will provide an endorphin high that will improve your mood naturally. Getting outside, even just to walk around the block, can help boost your mood as well. Other than those two things, try to find other things that make you happier every time (and aren't food). I find that good music usually puts me in a better mood, anything with a beat that makes me want to dance. Dancing and hanging out with my friends and/or my dogs improves my mood. Hobbies that require me to use my hands like sewing, bookbinding, or writing, keep me from eating while doing them and are also satisfying.
  • rosiecbolton
    rosiecbolton Posts: 85 Member
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    I have had a horrible experience with a despicable law firm which have made my life a misery. I run a micro contract cleaning firm and they have been a nightmare and will probably not cough up their last bill of £700 (just over 1000 usd). They have told me that if I go to the small claims court they will counter sue as once all the lawyers were having a meeting and I needed to get a note to one of them so I opened up an accountants notebook to tear out a page and write a note (foolish I know with hindsight). They are now saying I was deliberately trying to steal confidential information even though I have no accountancy qualifications and so would not have understood anything I read anyway. It has really got me down.

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