Job disappointment

princesspea234
princesspea234 Posts: 182 Member
in Motivation and Support
I received a job where I was in charge of marketing and development with a non-profit organization in NYC. I made the move from OKC to NYC to figure out if this job would be a fit with the support of my husband who stayed in OKC. After a few months there, I figured out that the turn-around time for this company was not the year I anticipated, but would be five years. The salary was not enough for my husband to leave his great job. Obviously, I had to move home to be with the hubby.

I moved back in March and was taken to lunch by the person in charge of development for the college where my husband works. I spent my internship in that office a couple of years ago and was excited when she told me there was a job available in events/development for the office that she wanted me to apply for...She told me she could picture me in the position and that I would be perfect for it. She spoke about the job as if I were in the position. I didn't apply anywhere else based on her word and I waited until the interview process started two weeks ago. I made it from 100 applicants to the top two and came back for a second interview where I presented a development plan surrounding a fundraising event. I thought she was just following procedure via university standards. Two days ago, she called to tell me she had to hire someone who had experience that couldn't be ignored, but that the committee could see me doing her job someday. She told me that she wanted to support me in rising to be a "rockstar" in the industry and was apologetic about the job.

Fast forward to today, I'm upset. I don't feel like eating right, exercising or even showering. I put my life on hold for a job that wasn't ever going to happen and I told several people in the community/my husband's life that I would probably be working for the college. My pride is hurt and I feel betrayed. I don't know how to get out this funk. How do you manage to take care of yourself after a large disappointment?

Replies

  • cicisiam
    cicisiam Posts: 491 Member
    Give yourself first permission to feel like crap & feel like crap. Then tomorrow wake up and wash your face and start over and put this behind you. What seems like a curse can end up being a blessing. Move forward when you are ready.
    I received a job where I was in charge of marketing and development with a non-profit organization in NYC. I made the move from OKC to NYC to figure out if this job would be a fit with the support of my husband who stayed in OKC. After a few months there, I figured out that the turn-around time for this company was not the year I anticipated, but would be five years. The salary was not enough for my husband to leave his great job. Obviously, I had to move home to be with the hubby.

    I moved back in March and was taken to lunch by the person in charge of development for the college where my husband works. I spent my internship in that office a couple of years ago and was excited when she told me there was a job available in events/development for the office that she wanted me to apply for...She told me she could picture me in the position and that I would be perfect for it. She spoke about the job as if I were in the position. I didn't apply anywhere else based on her word and I waited until the interview process started two weeks ago. I made it from 100 applicants to the top two and came back for a second interview where I presented a development plan surrounding a fundraising event. I thought she was just following procedure via university standards. Two days ago, she called to tell me she had to hire someone who had experience that couldn't be ignored, but that the committee could see me doing her job someday. She told me that she wanted to support me in rising to be a "rockstar" in the industry and was apologetic about the job.

    Fast forward to today, I'm upset. I don't feel like eating right, exercising or even showering. I put my life on hold for a job that wasn't ever going to happen and I told several people in the community/my husband's life that I would probably be working for the college. My pride is hurt and I feel betrayed. I don't know how to get out this funk. How do you manage to take care of yourself after a large disappointment?
  • mkramarz
    mkramarz Posts: 37 Member
    That STINKS and we all know it's exactly something like this that throws us off track... I agree take the nit off but tomorrow shake it off...it's not you but how that manager acted ... Don't let this or HER to get in your way... Stay on t rack you can do it !
  • iarelarry
    iarelarry Posts: 201 Member
    Bruce-Lee-Pray-for-Strength.jpg
  • zornig
    zornig Posts: 336 Member
    A boss I had very early on in my professional life once said to me: "I only allow myself 10 minutes of self-pity per day, because more than that is counterproductive."

    Regardless of the actual number of minutes you spend, think of it this way: your feelings of disappointment are valid, and you are entitled to feel them. But don't let your feelings stand in the way of moving forward, on to the next goal. You made it to the final round! That hardly means the job was "never" yours. It means you were a contender, you were taken seriously, and you nearly got it. Next time you'll do even better.

    My favorite non self-sabotaging way of indulging a funk is to spend an afternoon (or sometimes a whole day) sitting on the couch watching '80s movies (like Pretty in Pink and 16 Candles) or a whole season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Do something nice for yourself, preferably something that doesn't involve food, and then hitch up your britches and get back on the horse. Your next success is just around the corner.
  • HRLaurie614
    HRLaurie614 Posts: 260 Member
    I'm sorry. I know how frustrating it must be and it can be deflating. Let yourself be upset. It's ok.

    I work in HR (hence my Username). While I'm not in recruiting now, I have done recruiting in past roles. There are so many factors that go into selecting a candidate and making an offer. I think you have to keep positive so the interactions with the prospect are positive, but you also can't put all your eggs in one basket.

    Twice early in my career, I went through several rounds of interviews. For one, they hired someone else with that industry's experience. For the other, they decided they were going to fill the newly created position that I spent 6 weeks in contact and meetings. I've been on the other side. Where we bring someone in several times and have to make a hard choice not to hire a qualified candidate in favor of someone with an ever so slight edge. I've also had to tell final candidates that we wouldn't be filling the position.

    This is all just to say, it's part of how the recruiting world works. It sucks. I know that. Just try to keep positive and make connections. But, if you have one iron in the fire, still pursue other options at the same time.

    Hugs and best of luck.

    Laurie
  • brynnsmom
    brynnsmom Posts: 945 Member
    You have every right to feel down, that totally stinks. After wallowing for a bit, I always tell myself - when things like this happen, that it was meant to be. Something even better is out there for you!
  • princesspea234
    princesspea234 Posts: 182 Member
    Thanks for all the support! I really appreciated it. I wallowed, ate around maintenance and watched reality television the last couple of days. Husband is taking me out of town tomorrow to go hiking and to my favorite art museum/garden... The Philbrook Museum. It means I will get to be active AND have a blast with the husband. Already feeling better about everything.
  • hayleymc3
    hayleymc3 Posts: 128 Member
    There are better things in store for us than any we leave behind! Yeah the quote is overused, but true nonetheless.:flowerforyou:

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