Not the motivator that I wanted

RunningOnPurple
RunningOnPurple Posts: 119 Member
in Motivation and Support
My MFP friends have heard this before and I suppose that it's progress that it hasn't hit me in quite awhile like it did today. In the last 11 months I have lost quite a bit of weight (and I still have quite a ways more to go). And while that's wonderful and terrific, my motivation was the passing of my sweet, sweet boyfriend, the person that I loved more than anyone else in the world.

He and I were both morbidly obese. My BMI at the start of this journey was 60.6. His was even higher. Why couldn't we see what we were doing to ourselves? Why couldn't we figure out how much better we would feel if we just tried a little bit to care about ourselves and each other more?

Why did it take his death for me to realize that this isn't just about vanity, it's about getting to live and living well and that it's something that I can achieve?

Things that I have learned along the way: Losing weight takes time. Don't expect miracles overnight. Don't expect that every week will be a victory. Never, ever give up. Even if you gain a little weight here and there along your journey, you are still a success as long as you never give up and keep trying to move forward.

Never, ever give up.

Take a look at your life, see what small changes you can make *that you can live with forever* that will make you a little bit healthier than before and start there. You don't have to figure it all out at once, you just have to start somewhere and to keep on going no matter what.

Reach out to your MFP friends for support and if you don't have MFP friends, get some. I know that mine have been invaluable to me. Above all, take the time to care about yourself and know that it is the greatest gift that you could possibly give to you and to those that care about you as well.


(I've started this thread not for sympathy, but so that others might share in the inspiration that carries me along, may it give them strength to believe in themselves and to make their health a priority.)

I wish health, love, and happiness to you all.


Edited to add: My profile picture is the two of us sometime in 2012.
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Replies

  • pinkpatron
    pinkpatron Posts: 154
    My condolences on your lost loved one. I could never pick myself up if I lost my soul mate, so cheers to you and cheers to making a better life for yourself.
  • bsuew
    bsuew Posts: 628 Member
    I'm so sorry you lost someone that you cared so deeply for! And congratulations on your awsome achievement on moving on and loosing the weight you have lost! You deserve a BIG WTG WELL DONE!!
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
    I know you didn't start this for sympathy, but my condolences to you darling.

    If I ever lost my boyfriend, I would be beyond devastated, so I know what you mean. Yes the journey to lose weight is hard. Yes we all wan to give up. But giving up would be too easy. And we all deserve better.

    Yes it was an unfortunate motivator, but sometimes its what we really need to open our eyes to the situation.

    I'm so sorry.
  • jackie_leth
    jackie_leth Posts: 10 Member
    Thank you for your post...you have inspired me.
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    An excellent post and reminder about what's really important in life.

    My condolences to you for your loss.
  • chellec23
    chellec23 Posts: 147 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I commend your strength to carry on and make yourself healthier.
  • lua_
    lua_ Posts: 258 Member
    You are an inspiration to people who "can't be bothered" to get healthy and fit.

    Thank you. Stay well and happy.
  • wateryphoenix
    wateryphoenix Posts: 644 Member
    You have done a wonderful job thus far, and I hope that you can keep going forward.

    I'm sorry that it took the loss of somebody that you cared about to get you moving. Your story helps motivate me, and I'm sure many others. Thank you for sharing!
  • pnkpassion
    pnkpassion Posts: 64 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss, I wish you healing and continue success with your journey.
  • Beckyloo80
    Beckyloo80 Posts: 1,088 Member
    Thank you for this post. I know you said it was not for sympathy, but I am SO sorry for your loss. No matter the reason that you are now trying to get healthy, I commend you, especially after a loss.

    I hope this story helps to motivate others. You can do it!

    "one day at a time, one work out at a time, one pound at a time"

    Never give up!
  • gypsyrose64
    gypsyrose64 Posts: 271 Member
    I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my mom in 2012, and it was my "motivator". After the numbness wore off, I was visiting her grave. She was 63. Looking at the empty spot next to hers that was bought for me years ago.... I realized I was going to meet her sooner than later - if I didn't turn my health around. Every day is a gift and chance to make better choices so I can live a better life.

    I commend you for your strength and success thusfar. Thank you for sharing. Never give up!
  • jellyfishbones
    jellyfishbones Posts: 123 Member
    Thank you so much for sharing your story. It really struck a chord with me. You have my sympathy for your loss.
  • allisonrinkel
    allisonrinkel Posts: 224 Member
    My MFP friends have heard this before and I suppose that it's progress that it hasn't hit me in quite awhile like it did today. In the last 11 months I have lost quite a bit of weight (and I still have quite a ways more to go). And while that's wonderful and terrific, my motivation was the passing of my sweet, sweet boyfriend, the person that I loved more than anyone else in the world.

    He and I were both morbidly obese. My BMI at the start of this journey was 60.6. His was even higher. Why couldn't we see what we were doing to ourselves? Why couldn't we figure out how much better we would feel if we just tried a little bit to care about ourselves and each other more?

    Why did it take his death for me to realize that this isn't just about vanity, it's about getting to live and living well and that it's something that I can achieve?

    Things that I have learned along the way: Losing weight takes time. Don't expect miracles overnight. Don't expect that every week will be a victory. Never, ever give up. Even if you gain a little weight here and there along your journey, you are still a success as long as you never give up and keep trying to move forward.

    Never, ever give up.

    Take a look at your life, see what small changes you can make *that you can live with forever* that will make you a little bit healthier than before and start there. You don't have to figure it all out at once, you just have to start somewhere and to keep on going no matter what.

    Reach out to your MFP friends for support and if you don't have MFP friends, get some. I know that mine have been invaluable to me. Above all, take the time to care about yourself and know that it is the greatest gift that you could possibly give to you and to those that care about you as well.


    (I've started this thread not for sympathy, but so that others might share in the inspiration that carries me along, may it give them strength to believe in themselves and to make their health a priority.)

    I wish health, love, and happiness to you all.


    Edited to add: My profile picture is the two of us sometime in 2012.
    I came here to MFP today with an angry face and hurt in my heart. You have made me snap out of it and smarten up. Your story has helped me today, so from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!! I am sorry about your loved one, but grateful that you turned it into a life lesson and have shared it with us. You are a super human! :)
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    Wow. I'm so sorry, this was heartbreaking and yet beautiful to read.

    I love your attitude, and wish you the best.

    :tearjerk:
  • Maaike84
    Maaike84 Posts: 211 Member
    my condolences for your loss - I would be more than devastated if my boyfriend passed, it hurts to even think about it...

    I think it's incredibly inspirational what you have done - not just in posting your story but also not letting such a dramatic loss get you down but instead using it to make your life better. I am sure that your boyfriend, wherever he is now, would be very proud of the things you are achieving.
  • costafortune
    costafortune Posts: 27
    I am so sorry for your grievous loss. Thank you for taking the time to share your story. This inspires me even more to continue. I don`t want my loved ones dealing with the pain of loss from my premature death.

    I wish you peace and strength.
  • RunningOnPurple
    RunningOnPurple Posts: 119 Member
    Many thanks to you all. I wish with all my heart that the story that inspired you was of us as a fabulous couple who had lost tons of weight together. Especially recently this is what hits the hardest as his birthday is next week.

    I don't know why he didn't get to take this journey with me but I am glad for the memories that I have and his inspiration. I'm glad that our story brings inspiration to others as well and it helps me to know that something good is coming from such deep sadness.
  • celtbell3
    celtbell3 Posts: 738 Member
    You are beautiful! I'm so sorry about your boyfriend. The passing of our loved ones are so hard, especially when it is due to the choices that are made. I don't know him and I don't know you; but, I would guess that he's as pleased as he can be at your progress. Good luck to you! {{hugs}}
  • berriboobear
    berriboobear Posts: 524 Member
    My condolences, and I am so proud of you! You are truly inspirational and have so much strength to have not only continued your journey, but to share with others and maintain such a positive outlook on life.

    I hope your journey continues, and that you rise to higher feats. Thank you for sharing, it's truly touching and inspirational! :flowerforyou:
  • boji4ever
    boji4ever Posts: 27 Member
    I cannot comprehend your pain, but I hope you find faith in knowing he is still beside you in this journey and that you have seen the light...I know it is not comforting all the time, but I believe that finding him and the love you shared had a plan for you to get healthy and to touch many lives along the way and help them as well. I have learned from health around me, that it is no longer acceptable to say "I'll check it out later, it won't happen to me, it's nothing". I want to be there for my kids, for my husband and for myself and I am putting my health as close to the top as I can...but it is a conscious decision I still have to make every day and not falter, let other things distract me or give up. It is MFP, sharing, caring and know there is a healther, "better" me to be found that keeps me going. Thanks for sharing and know that you are making a difference for many of us.
  • rowanwood
    rowanwood Posts: 509 Member
    He would be so proud of you.

    <3
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    My MFP friends have heard this before and I suppose that it's progress that it hasn't hit me in quite awhile like it did today. In the last 11 months I have lost quite a bit of weight (and I still have quite a ways more to go). And while that's wonderful and terrific, my motivation was the passing of my sweet, sweet boyfriend, the person that I loved more than anyone else in the world.

    He and I were both morbidly obese. My BMI at the start of this journey was 60.6. His was even higher. Why couldn't we see what we were doing to ourselves? Why couldn't we figure out how much better we would feel if we just tried a little bit to care about ourselves and each other more?

    Why did it take his death for me to realize that this isn't just about vanity, it's about getting to live and living well and that it's something that I can achieve?

    Things that I have learned along the way: Losing weight takes time. Don't expect miracles overnight. Don't expect that every week will be a victory. Never, ever give up. Even if you gain a little weight here and there along your journey, you are still a success as long as you never give up and keep trying to move forward.

    Never, ever give up.

    Take a look at your life, see what small changes you can make *that you can live with forever* that will make you a little bit healthier than before and start there. You don't have to figure it all out at once, you just have to start somewhere and to keep on going no matter what.

    Reach out to your MFP friends for support and if you don't have MFP friends, get some. I know that mine have been invaluable to me. Above all, take the time to care about yourself and know that it is the greatest gift that you could possibly give to you and to those that care about you as well.


    (I've started this thread not for sympathy, but so that others might share in the inspiration that carries me along, may it give them strength to believe in themselves and to make their health a priority.)

    I wish health, love, and happiness to you all.


    Edited to add: My profile picture is the two of us sometime in 2012.
    Very inspiring what you've chosen to do for your life... I'm so proud of you for learning to take care of YOU! :drinker:


    Sending you healing hugs on the loss of your Love, He would be (is!) so very proud of you as well, I'm sure of it!:heart:
  • RunningOnPurple
    RunningOnPurple Posts: 119 Member
    I'm bumping this thread just once because today would have been my boyfriend's 48th birthday.

    Would have been...

    Celebrate life everyday. Make yourself a priority.
  • boboff
    boboff Posts: 129 Member
    Good luck love,

    I am sure he would have been so proud of you!
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    thank you for this.

    There are many posts that are inspiring and motivating - but your post just really hit me. I have to do this, and I am not going to stop this time. I don't want to die from this.

    My heart goes out to you. It is so sad to lose someone we love. I am proud of you for having the strength to continue on this journey.
  • Harmony2376
    Harmony2376 Posts: 27 Member
    Thanks :flowerforyou:
    After reading that, I am definitely at the top of my own to-do list today :heart:
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    You ARE an inspriration. I try to get my wife on board wqith the lifestyle change i am undergoing. Keep up the trying and continuing to change. I AM proud of you.
  • tomich54
    tomich54 Posts: 99 Member
    WOW! What an inspirational story! I'm so sorry for your loss! You really have hit the nail on the head. Everything you said really struck a chord w/ me. I have been feeling very frustrated and pissy, now I realize that life is to short for all of that - and for that I Thank you! :flowerforyou:
  • Shetchncn1
    Shetchncn1 Posts: 260 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss. But it takes great strength and courage to turn a very tragic time into one that can inspire. I know he would be really proud of you!
  • RunningOnPurple
    RunningOnPurple Posts: 119 Member
    Thank you, everyone. I never cease to be amazed and overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers. Keep up the good work, every one of you!

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