Crack - I need me some.

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* Lilliana is my 3 year old daughter that has never been in school before and just started preschool this past Monday.
* Sal is my husband who lives and breathes for Lilliana.

Okay so last night after Lilliana came home from school she was really cleared that she did not want to go back. "Mommy, I don't want to go to school anymore". I was very consistent with the school is fun, you'll love it, yadda yadda, etc. etc. Now know that my husband is not very INTO this school thing because he still thinks she is a baby and should stay home with my mom. I think it's definitely more that he doesn't have to really worry about her with my mom and she's comfortable there. So not only am I having to convince Lilliana that school is good for her, i'm having to convince Sal. It's ****ing exhausting. But, I am making this decision and I will fight this battle because I know it will be very good for her. I finally had Sal on the same page as me (somewhat to where he wasn't really questioning but still wasn't thrilled).

THEN, my brother comes over to bring my a cupcake (lol). He comes inside and asks Lilliana about school and is talking to me and Sal and then he asks me what time I take her to school. I told him I drop her off at 6:30 and pick her up at 4:30. Then my brother says "WOW, that is a LONG day. It's going to wear her out".

:indifferent: :indifferent: :indifferent:

OMG I could have shoved the cupcake so far up his *kitten* for saying that because Sal's face immediately got this I TOLD YOU SO look and the WE ARE DOING THE WRONG THING look. So in Arabic I cussed him (my bro) out and told him i'm going to kick his *kitten*. :laugh: I did it in Arabic so that Lilliana wouldn't understand.

Bro left. Ate dinner. Had cupcake. Finally went to bed. She sleeps.

(This part is important for later on in the story :laugh: )

This morning I get up to get ready. I don't feel like wearing jeans, because it's ****ing hot in Texas. So I decide i'm going to wear a dress. The only problem is, my legs aren't freshly shaved. I mean not like omg she can braid the hair on her legs, but definitely stubble. I thought to myself....FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE CALM THE **** DOWN and just wear it. I'm in an office, no one is going to be looking at my legs. So I wear the dress.

(okay back to Lilliana)

Get her ready. She's crying. I'm trying to be chippy and happy and school is fun. School is great. We love school. HAPPY ****ING SCHOOL DAY! Get her to school, she's freaking out. I am talking to the teacher and asking about yesterday and she tells me that Lilliana doesn't play with the other kids. She sticks with the adult. This is Lilliana to a T. She has always been that way. She likes to be with adults and doesn't really play with kids except for Jenna (her cousin). She tells me that it's only her 3rd day she'll get use to it, but if she doesn't then she can have someone come out and evaluate her (WTFWTF?). So Lilliana cries. I leave. I cry. It's a ****ing mess and i'm exhausted emotionally, physically (I basically have been waking up 5am and don't stop literally until 8pm - and i'm fasting all day). And MENTALLY (because i'm always trying to be happy about this school situation with Lilli and with SAL). I decided not to fast today.

(okay this is where the top part comes in)

So, I get to work, walk into my office and I hear "Wow, look at those legs". I'm thinking ****ING GREAT!!! I walk out a little and this one girl that works in the cube across from my office (who is training this new guy that is sitting there too) says "I love your legs. You have the kind of legs that looks good with high heels. Muscles and everything. I wish I had your legs". Well OF COURSE then people start to look at my legs. YES, the ones that have STUBBLES all on them!!!! :indifferent: :indifferent: The one damn day of my life that I don't shave i'm getting complimented on my legs by half the office. Which yes, I was very flattered and it was nice, but i'm mortified with the stubbles.

Will Lilliana start to play with kids? Why did the teacher bring up evaluation? And WHEN IS THIS MADNESS GOING TO END?

Thanks. :bigsmile:

Replies

  • Breenee
    Breenee Posts: 6 Member
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    LOL...I can relate! Pass the crack if you get some....:drinker:
  • shell1205
    shell1205 Posts: 138
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    Wow... you have a lot on your plate, girl!!

    Lilliana will adjust. Kids are resilient. Maybe bribe her with something... IF you are good and don't cry and try and make friends with the other kids, I'll get you a special toy or something... I know it's not the ideal solution, but bribery can be a good thing...

    And when she adjusts, your hubby will adjust. Don't fret!! And I have stubbly legs, too, and am wearing capris... so don't feel bad!!

    Hope things get better for ya!!
  • ladyofivy
    ladyofivy Posts: 648
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    Aww she will play with other kids. It will just take time. Relax. And nice legs. :smile:
  • kendra1976
    kendra1976 Posts: 90 Member
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    Lina, you are too funny.. this shaving leg story is almost as funny as your "gas pump" story.. lol

    Anyways, she will be ok. Andrew is only a month younger than her and he started daycare right before he turned 3 after being home 100% of the time with my husband (SAHD). He was like her, wanted to talk to the adults since they "got" him. As in he talked way more than some of the kids in his class and the kids bored him. lol. So finally he started to play with them, but was still bored with them. They did move him to an older class eventually. He's now in a Montessori class and does great. We have mornings, where he cries. It's normally on Monday's though, after being home with us all weekend.

    hugs, Lina. She will be fine.

    Also I think that your daycare needs to be reminded that she came from a SAH environment. They really worked with Andrew making him comfortable. They understood that this was all something new to him vs other kids that started in daycare.

    ETA.. BTW, I didn't shave today and I am wearing a skirt too.. yeah for the stubble team!
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
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    Oh...well honey you have certainly had a day so far!!!
    I agree with Ivy...she will eventually start playing with the kids. School will become more of a routine for her.
    The teacher should not have brought up the subject of evaluation at all! She should not even be thinking that if it's only freakin' day 3!

    Don't let it get to you!
    And as for the legs thing...that is totally something that would happen to ME!! Atleast they weren't rubbing your legs....and they were just looking! :laugh:

    Sorry you are having a bad day........NICE LEGS THOUGH!!!! Can I touch them?? LOL

    -LaughingDani
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Thanks ladies!

    And Danigirl, come on over and rub on momma! :laugh: :laugh:
  • jeanineadele
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    Sounds like you made these changes:

    1) Started working full time after being a full time Mom
    2) Your fasting while on your first three days of a new job, new routine?
    3) Your daughter is really stressed and unhappy, so is your husband, so are YOU!
    4) Your now to exhausted, rushed, angry and haven't shaved your legs.

    Reevaluate the choices your making. Are they having the desired results? Could you or your hubby start working PT and let your daughter have a chance to adjust. Also, be respectful to yourself, your needs, your daughters needs and of those around you. You may not agree with your husband and brother but they still have an obligation and right to state their concerns if things seem a little out of control.

    I have been a single Mom for years and I know it is tough to be all things to all people. You should realistically sit down and think about what you can handle and what your family can handle to have peace and harmony in your life. Best wishes to you and you family.
  • JustBeckyV
    JustBeckyV Posts: 182
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    I am sure she will adjust as well. Some kids just take longer than others but she will get there!

    At least you got the compliments even with the stubble lol just avoid letting anyone actually touch them ha I know for me I can get a away with it a little bit because my hair is light and I am pretty tan right now!
  • miqisha
    miqisha Posts: 1,534 Member
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    I think children starting school at age 3 is a very good idea, it is a long day for her, but thats how it goes with working parents, but she will get use to it over time.

    Yes, she will start to play with the kids, which is why I think her going is a great idea, it prepares her mentally for the actual elementary school. She will adjust and dont let them label your child. These schools love evaluating and labeling peoples' children for no reason, and once that label sticks, its hard to break, but she will be fine.

    Sorry about the bad leg day, congrats on the sext legs compliment though

    Your daughter will adjust and will be fine.
  • MickeyLeigh
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    Wow you poor thing! First the legs...that had me laughing! It ALWAYS happens that way.

    Lillianna will adjust. My son was horrible when I put him in a little preschool for three days a week. He didn't cry the first day but the second day he cried. After several days he was fine and had no problem going. I also agree with the fact the teacher needs to know she has been SAH for 3 years with your mom. It will be hard for her to relate with all of these children at one time. As to why she mentioned evaluation. That was ridiculous and should have never been mentioned as it is only the third day and some children will take longer to adjust.

    Our pre-k here only goes a half of a day but our kindergarten went to a full day several years ago and they give the kids "rest time" and I can't believe they wouldn't be doing the same thing at your school. So what seems like a long day should be broken up by a rest period and really isn't as long as it seems.

    Just keep breathing in and out. I'm sure it will get better. And if it doesn't then deal with that when the time gets there. Keep open communication with the teacher and find out how she is doing everyday.

    Michelle
  • laughingdani
    laughingdani Posts: 2,275 Member
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    Thanks ladies!

    And Danigirl, come on over and rub on momma! :laugh: :laugh:

    Ok...I am coming over and bringing the massage oils......:wink:
    Maybe that's what you need...a good leg rub with some mint massage oil or lotion...it will calm you! (HINT to the husband!!) :smile:
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Yes, they get an 1.5 hour nap. I go in there everyday when I pick her up and ask Lilliana what she learned that day. I talk to the teacher and find out if she ate well, etc.

    I know these first few weeks are going to be hard. I just hate that my baby is crying. It breaks my heart.
  • Ellem86
    Ellem86 Posts: 204
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    Hilarious story! I didn't just cry on my first few days at school - I literally screamed the place down for days. But my mother wasn't having it as she had to go back to work and I just got over it. All kids do. I studied sociology a while ago and there were a lot of studies that showed that children who start school earlier have better social skills and learning abilities.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
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    Dang girl! You had a hell of a day! I feel for ya.

    Keep the little one in day care. She has got to get used to being with kids before she starts school. My brother was a stay at home dad (disabled) to his youngest daughter. He would keep her with him where ever he went and basically treated her as a small adult. He taught her to read, write and count well before she got into kindergarden. At age 6 she started kindergarden. She didn't make it a week. She didn't like being treated like a child. She got bored with the lessons that she already knew and started making trouble. She was expelled from 4 schools before he got her asessed and got her into a school that could deal with her educational needs. Once they figured out how to keep her mind challenged she got better at being with other kids. She still isn't friendly with kids her own age, she thinks they are stupid babies, but does get along ok with those 2-3 years older. She is also seeing a counselor for her anti social behavior.

    Good Luck Hun!
  • jeanineadele
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    Yes, beware of people wanting to label your child and offering medication! That movement is running rampant in the school system.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Yeah, there is no way on this planet I will let anyone label her or medicate her. She is a normal thriving 3 year old that is just scared in a new environment.

    My heart just aches though. She's my baby. She's my life. And I hate to see her cry. I just want to go scoop her up and bring her to work with me and tell her everything is going to be okay, but I know in the long run, it will be an injustice to her.

    I want my baby to be a confident child when she gets in to kindergarten. I want her to go in there prepared and ahead of the class. The teacher she is with now has done an amazing job with my niece. She has learned so much from her, shoot, sometimes I think she knows more than me :laugh: :bigsmile: My niece is out of the country with her mom right now, but they are the same age and when she comes back in 2 weeks she'll be in Lilliana's class. I think that will help too!
  • jrsmithne
    jrsmithne Posts: 124
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    I know it does not seem like it now, but it will do her good to be around other children her own age. She will get use to it and make new friends and you will laugh about this. I know it does not seem like it now, but it will get better!! Just keep trying to be happy and upbeat about school, kids pick up on things when they know we are upset. Hold your ground with your husband, she really does need time to be with kids her own age. I have 3 daughters, ages 25, 19, and 15. I know what you are going through, just try to be strong!!

    It does feel good to be complimented on things like your legs, just not on a day you have not shaved, too funny!! I dont take compliments well and always end up saying something negative, just wish I could just say thank you and move on. Getting there, though.

    Take care!!
    Jody
  • Julbella78
    Julbella78 Posts: 161 Member
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    Lina, you are doing the right thing by sending her to school. She will adjust. Right now, she is used to being around adults so that is her comfort zone. She will slowly start to interact with the other kids when she sees the fun activities they are doing. I'm holding Hannah because of her birthday (you know the day ;0) ) so this year is her first with different kids. At orientation she was a little shy but the teachers did a great job of involving all of the kdis. Kids are resilliant and trust me she will adjust. Maybe connect with another mom and schedule some play dates. Plus, birthday parties will be starting soon and the kids really get to know each other then. This is the best for her in the long run. ((hugs))
  • jac2lyn
    jac2lyn Posts: 90
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    OMG! Pass the crack is right...

    I dont have kids but I have neices and nephews and they alll hated school at first. Try to relax, remember that yoru daughter will sense the tension in the house about school and hate it even more. (I love her name by the way) I used to work at a pre-school and my class was 3 and 4 year olds.

    Tell your husband that unless he wants a unsociable child to let this happen and support this decision and ask the teacher to give you updates once a week. I bet that once she is their for a while she will learn to really like going! Ask about friends and the other kids and maybe she will start wanting ot play. Give her fun ideas and see if their is a show and tell. That sometimes makes kids want to talk to others (sounds stupid but sooo true). Let her pick her most favorite toys when it is show and tell or even encourage something else like having a play date.

    It all sounds really time consuming and I know its stressful but we always suggested play dates to parents and it really helped the kids branch out. Even in a park or something. She will get used to it and get comfortable.

    Good luck!!! (I bet the cupcake was delicious after all that)
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Yes, my little birthday buddy Hannah! :love: