It Is Impossible To Lose Weight

_Waffle_
_Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
edited January 28 in Chit-Chat
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WASHINGTON—According to a groundbreaking new study published Monday in the Journal Of The American Medical Association, it is impossible to lose weight, no one has ever lost a single pound of fat through diet or exercise, and those attempting to do so are advised to abandon their weight loss goals immediately.

Source - http://tinyurl.com/mg7l6j5

I'm just going to give up. Apparently all of this is out of my control and I'm just a product of natural selection. Survival of the fattest. One of these days when the apocalypse arrives I'll be able to depend on my fuel reserves to get me through the first part of the 7 years of terror. Those of you that were born skinny and stay skinny with little effort will be the ones that suffer then while I sit back on the sofa and reap the rewards of carrying around my own grocery store in these size 52 pants.
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Replies

  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I will join you, my corpulent brother!
  • Reneeisfat
    Reneeisfat Posts: 126 Member
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  • jsj024519
    jsj024519 Posts: 400 Member
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    2Ua2sPl.jpg
  • AJ_G
    AJ_G Posts: 4,158 Member
    2uizse0.jpg
  • Lovdiamnd
    Lovdiamnd Posts: 624 Member
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!

    Giggle.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!

    CHEESECAKE FACTORY!!!!
  • DainaLC
    DainaLC Posts: 18,937 Member
    I thought he looked slimmer in the after photo! But who am I to disagree with reports out of Washington.
  • CharliesInCharge
    CharliesInCharge Posts: 278 Member
    2Ua2sPl.jpg

    amen!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I heard obesity is a disease. Is it contagious?
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!

    CHEESECAKE FACTORY!!!!

    Go big or go home right?
  • BrainyBurro
    BrainyBurro Posts: 6,129 Member
    i believe you mean "loose wait".

    you're welcome. :flowerforyou:
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!

    Dibs on the Chocolate Fountain!!!!! Mine Mine Mine!!!!
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!

    CHEESECAKE FACTORY!!!!

    I'll meet you at Cheesecake Factory - one slice of each? You betcha!
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    Would not bang.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
    OP. . .after looking at your profile pic. . .now I want WAFFLES!!!!
  • Tricep_A_Tops
    Tricep_A_Tops Posts: 319
    Damn you waffle!! I feel as devistated as I did the day I found out that there isnt a Santa Claus.
  • RichOC
    RichOC Posts: 243 Member
    I'm about to demolish 3 Chinese buffets...
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    I wrote a very well known physics professor to tell him about my weight loss and he told me weight is impossible to lose because matter can neither be created nor destroyed. And just because I do not see it doesn't mean it isn't there.
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    What'chu talkin' bout Waffle?

    5p5250.gif
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!

    Dibs on the Chocolate Fountain!!!!! Mine Mine Mine!!!!

    That chocolate fountain is soooooo nasty. I see little kids over there licking their fingers and putting it in the waterfall....

    In other news, If we were still in the days of hunter-gatherers, I would be freaking boss, because I have stored up TONS of fat to last me through the famine:)
  • Bekahmardis
    Bekahmardis Posts: 602 Member
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    :laugh:
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!

    CHEESECAKE FACTORY!!!!

    Go big or go home right?

    You betcha. You can't be too careful about getting too skinny to survive the apocalypse.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    I will meet you at Golden Coral. LET'S CELEBRATE!

    CHEESECAKE FACTORY!!!!

    Both?!?!?
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
    I heard obesity is a disease. Is it contagious?

    Yes. You get it from McDonald's, Burger King, Arby's, Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and bacon.

    Oh wait -- NOT bacon. Bacon has a natural fat blocker.
  • spetermann190
    spetermann190 Posts: 289 Member
    I heard obesity is a disease. Is it contagious?

    Yes. You get it from McDonald's, Burger King, Arby's, Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and bacon.

    Oh wait -- NOT bacon. Bacon has a natural fat blocker.

    OH NO you Did .... N't!!!!

    Sacrilege!!!
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I heard obesity is a disease. Is it contagious?

    It's sexually transmitted...just make sure you wear a condom. Women have a naturally higher % BF than men and when we have sex with them, a little bit of their fat goes into the urethra...a little sex here, little sex there, and the next thing you know you're a 350 Lber.
  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
    I heard obesity is a disease. Is it contagious?

    Yes. You get it from McDonald's, Burger King, Arby's, Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and bacon.

    Oh wait -- NOT bacon. Bacon has a natural fat blocker.
    If you eat bacon with any of the above you will be just fine.
  • spetermann190
    spetermann190 Posts: 289 Member
    I heard obesity is a disease. Is it contagious?

    Yes. You get it from McDonald's, Burger King, Arby's, Taco Bell, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and bacon.

    Oh wait -- NOT bacon. Bacon has a natural fat blocker.
    If you eat bacon with any of the above you will be just fine.

    That explains EVERYTHING to me :) suddenly it all makes sense!!! Thank you Thank You Thank You :))))
  • PhattiPhat
    PhattiPhat Posts: 349 Member
    I heard obesity is a disease. Is it contagious?

    It's sexually transmitted...just make sure you wear a condom. Women have a naturally higher % BF than men and when we have sex with them, a little bit of their fat goes into the urethra...a little sex here, little sex there, and the next thing you know you're a 350 Lber.

    tumblr_masczmLdcM1qf250s.gif
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