:( Help me help my kid (sneaking food)
rgrin
Posts: 67 Member
At 7.5, he's somewhat tall. He's not skinny or overweight, very much average. But with two parents who have always been significantly overweight, we try so hard to be careful about what he eats. We don't talk about it with him, though. We don't talk about our own troubles and frustrations with our weight. We don't discuss weight, calories, fat, etc around him. We DO talk about how too much sugar is bad (he's had several cavities) and that some foods hardly have any benefits or nutrition. We point out that fruits and especially veggies are full of good vitamins and minerals. We talk about protein being an important nutrient for growing kids. We talk about how having 5 pieces of bread in one day gives him a lot of grain, but doesn't leave room for the other foods his body needs to grow healthy and strong.
We always have out fresh fruits and the fridge is stocked with cut up veggies (carrots are the favorite), cheese sticks, yogurt, and applesauce. We encourage these foods as snacks, but limit it to one snack between each meal (2 apples and a cup and a half of yogurt is too much before supper). Drinks each day are 6 oz of OJ, 6 oz of milk, and water for the rest of the day. We do have some fruit leathers, packs of dried fruit, crackers, granola bars, and 100% fruit juice boxes set aside for out and about, but otherwise, we eat the fresh or refrigerated stuff.
But now he's sneaking snacks. He's been sneaking the packaged "out-and-about" food, scooping PB out of the jar and eating it off the spoon (multiple spoons a day), sneaking snacks from his grandparents' kitchen, and getting into our special treats (chocolate chips, mini candy bars, and popsicles).
Is this just a phase and we shouldn't make too big a deal of it? Is this something we need to nip in the bud while he's young? Should we toss it all so that he has no access EVER? Should we give him some opportunity to assert control over his environment and eating? Is he heading down this path or are we driving him to it?
We always have out fresh fruits and the fridge is stocked with cut up veggies (carrots are the favorite), cheese sticks, yogurt, and applesauce. We encourage these foods as snacks, but limit it to one snack between each meal (2 apples and a cup and a half of yogurt is too much before supper). Drinks each day are 6 oz of OJ, 6 oz of milk, and water for the rest of the day. We do have some fruit leathers, packs of dried fruit, crackers, granola bars, and 100% fruit juice boxes set aside for out and about, but otherwise, we eat the fresh or refrigerated stuff.
But now he's sneaking snacks. He's been sneaking the packaged "out-and-about" food, scooping PB out of the jar and eating it off the spoon (multiple spoons a day), sneaking snacks from his grandparents' kitchen, and getting into our special treats (chocolate chips, mini candy bars, and popsicles).
Is this just a phase and we shouldn't make too big a deal of it? Is this something we need to nip in the bud while he's young? Should we toss it all so that he has no access EVER? Should we give him some opportunity to assert control over his environment and eating? Is he heading down this path or are we driving him to it?
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Replies
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At 7.5, he's somewhat tall. He's not skinny or overweight, very much average. But with two parents who have always been significantly overweight, we try so hard to be careful about what he eats. We don't talk about it with him, though. We don't talk about our own troubles and frustrations with our weight. We don't discuss weight, calories, fat, etc around him. We DO talk about how too much sugar is bad (he's had several cavities) and that some foods hardly have any benefits or nutrition. We point out that fruits and especially veggies are full of good vitamins and minerals. We talk about protein being an important nutrient for growing kids. We talk about how having 5 pieces of bread in one day gives him a lot of grain, but doesn't leave room for the other foods his body needs to grow healthy and strong.
We always have out fresh fruits and the fridge is stocked with cut up veggies (carrots are the favorite), cheese sticks, yogurt, and applesauce. We encourage these foods as snacks, but limit it to one snack between each meal (2 apples and a cup and a half of yogurt is too much before supper). Drinks each day are 6 oz of OJ, 6 oz of milk, and water for the rest of the day. We do have some fruit leathers, packs of dried fruit, crackers, granola bars, and 100% fruit juice boxes set aside for out and about, but otherwise, we eat the fresh or refrigerated stuff.
But now he's sneaking snacks. He's been sneaking the packaged "out-and-about" food, scooping PB out of the jar and eating it off the spoon (multiple spoons a day), sneaking snacks from his grandparents' kitchen, and getting into our special treats (chocolate chips, mini candy bars, and popsicles).
Is this just a phase and we shouldn't make too big a deal of it? Is this something we need to nip in the bud while he's young? Should we toss it all so that he has no access EVER? Should we give him some opportunity to assert control over his environment and eating? Is he heading down this path or are we driving him to it?
Either dude is hungry enough to steal, or he sees those foods as "forbidden fruit"
He needs to learn how to eat. At 7.5, he's completely old enough to have some freedom and control over what he's eating.
He's going to learn how to eat by watching you, for the most part. Make sure he's got access to foods that are healthy, and for the most part, as much as he wants. Especially when kids are growing, they need a TON of food. Many kids will grow OUT, and then UP, in a cycle. So they go through some fat/lean periods and it's OK.
Deal with the "sneaking" COMPLETELY SEPARATE from food issues. Deal with the fact that he's stealing, not WHAT he's stealing. Then, once you've made that point abundantly clear, make sure that he knows that if he's hungry, he can have access to healthy foods. It's OK to discuss what those kinds of foods are. Just don't bug him about it or give him a hard time. "Here's the pile of foods that you can eat from whenever you want." Plenty of fruits and vegetables in that pile, and he'll be OK.
PS, ditch the OJ. It's basically the same as giving your kid a soda in the morning. Tons of sugar (added and natural) and acid. Just giving him a whole orange is MUCH better. Juice sucks. Eat real fruit.0 -
Yes, its just a phase. I think children do best with no extremes. Tossing it all might worsen the behavior, and ignoring it could be harmful long term. He is young, and currently at a healthy weight, so you have wiggle room to sit back and observe before deciding. Just don't tax his honesty. If he sneaks it, ask why? And simply listen. Hear his thoughts, and ask open ended questions. That can work wonders! They want to be heard, and feel like they can self govern and be respected when they make a personal choice.
If it were my child, I would take it as a chance to start something new- get him cooking with you! Let him pick out meals, snacks, desserts and such. I know you mentioned that you make an effort to NOT talk about your own troubles and frustrations with him, but perhaps speaking to him about it a little would help. Kids see so much more than we realize, and struggle with trying to understand what they see without asking questions, and that frequently leads to misunderstandings and confused relationships between unrelated issues.
Perhaps get him to be your walking buddy, or ask him to help you with a goal. Like drinking x glasses of water a day. That provides a positive example, shows him your efforts, and gives him a small feeling of control, which kids LOVE!0 -
There could be a number of reasons for this... Is he eating because he's bored? Could he not be getting enough calories or fat in his diet? Is he emotionally eating? Is he burning through all of his calories with physical activity?
I think not making food an issue is important, but emphasizing "healthy foods" is equally as important. Also, at his age it's is imperative for him to get at least an hour of heart-pumping activity a day. This is not only crucial for the body to stay fit, but for brain development.
I would suggest not keeping goodies in the house and limiting them to very special occasions. Like getting a candy bar once a week when the family does its grocery shopping or only soda/juice on the rare occasion the family eats out. Also, making sure he is getting adequate calories/exercise is important. And of course, setting a great example for him by living the way you hope he will live as an adult. Moderation is as important to learn as what's healthy and what's not.... Doing away with every treat imaginable can have an opposite reaction to overall health. Kids will binge too if they feel deprived!
If he's eating out of boredom, suggest a bike ride or a game of kick the can. It's healthy for you too!0 -
The kid is probably just hungry. Kids snack! My lil girl would sometimes overeat. Like eat a crazy amount of food in one sitting (this isn't the norm) and the next thing you know, she's an inch taller. She was just going thru a growth spurt. She's also very thin. So her weight has never been an issue. I doesn't sound like you have a problem here. Just go with it and try not to be too controlling otherwise food will become an issue with him.0
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Kids need more food especially before a growth spurt!!, I let my kid snack until 430 and then its nothing til dinner (630). Could he have worms (just asking!)?0
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At 7.5, he's somewhat tall. He's not skinny or overweight, very much average. But with two parents who have always been significantly overweight, we try so hard to be careful about what he eats. We don't talk about it with him, though. We don't talk about our own troubles and frustrations with our weight. We don't discuss weight, calories, fat, etc around him. We DO talk about how too much sugar is bad (he's had several cavities) and that some foods hardly have any benefits or nutrition. We point out that fruits and especially veggies are full of good vitamins and minerals. We talk about protein being an important nutrient for growing kids. We talk about how having 5 pieces of bread in one day gives him a lot of grain, but doesn't leave room for the other foods his body needs to grow healthy and strong.
We always have out fresh fruits and the fridge is stocked with cut up veggies (carrots are the favorite), cheese sticks, yogurt, and applesauce. We encourage these foods as snacks, but limit it to one snack between each meal (2 apples and a cup and a half of yogurt is too much before supper). Drinks each day are 6 oz of OJ, 6 oz of milk, and water for the rest of the day. We do have some fruit leathers, packs of dried fruit, crackers, granola bars, and 100% fruit juice boxes set aside for out and about, but otherwise, we eat the fresh or refrigerated stuff.
But now he's sneaking snacks. He's been sneaking the packaged "out-and-about" food, scooping PB out of the jar and eating it off the spoon (multiple spoons a day), sneaking snacks from his grandparents' kitchen, and getting into our special treats (chocolate chips, mini candy bars, and popsicles).
Is this just a phase and we shouldn't make too big a deal of it? Is this something we need to nip in the bud while he's young? Should we toss it all so that he has no access EVER? Should we give him some opportunity to assert control over his environment and eating? Is he heading down this path or are we driving him to it?
I snuck food when I was younger. My dad punished me for it yet I kept on doing it. He also tried to get me to be more active when I gained weight, while I liked the activity, I think it made me feel embarrassed about my weight. I always felt ashamed to eat what I really wanted around my parents so I would wait until they were gone and eat what I wanted or wait until nighttime to snack. I still weighed about 30 lbs over what I should have when I lived with them. When I moved out of the house and did not have that pressure I started eating what I wanted without guilt. I stopped hiding food or sneaking it. I did gain a lot of weight after I had my son, but I am trying to change. Part of the reason is that we are very poor and often I find it hard to get the healthy foods I want because it will cost too much. My husband had been in charge of grocery buying for a while, but I am taking it over again. ( I just started the past few days.) I like getting healthy food. It makes me feel so much better. I am still learning what a balanced diet is.
I think there is a problem if your child feels guilty to eat normally around you. I would not shame him into eating a certain way. It needs to come from within. If he is shamed into eating a certain way he will eat the way he wants when he moves out. I think you should teach about healthy eating and how it makes you feel so good and tell him and make him feel that there is no reason to sneak. He is a growing boy so he needs more calories. It is hard to say exactly how you should treat him, but he should feel comfortable to eat around his mom and dad and not feel the need to sneak. He needs to be accepted even if he eats empty calorie foods. I would just keep an eye on his weight and talk with him openly and honestly and try to work out something with him that works for the both of you.0 -
Get rid of the 'special treats'. Put the fruit out on the table and let him eat it when he's hungry.0
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Some people think sneaking food is stealing but I don't think it is. My dad said I was stealing food when I was a kid. I don't think I was. We had an open policy about food. We could eat what we wanted when we wanted it so why would only some foods be off limits sometimes when they never really said it? I guess the problem could be selfishness and greed if he is eating all of something and not leaving any for anyone else ( I used to do that.) Those were probably the real "sins" I was committing when I ate too much. Just some thoughts..0
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If you don't want him to eat the special foods, then don't have them in the house. Take him out once in a while to get one candy bar,etc. Other than that, I would not limit his food. Provide only foods you want him to eat and let him eat them whenever he wants. I never had a problem with my weight when I was a kid and I was allowed to eat anything that was in the house. My weight problem came much later after a child and a changed metabolism. I'm sorry, I just don't believe in limiting a child's food intake. Unless there is something really wrong with him, he's eating because he's hungry. If there are only nutritious things in the house, so what if he eats too much to eat the next meal? Its the same nutrition no matter when he eats it. Kids don't always eat on a schedule.0
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I have a 7 year old boy who is a healthy weight. Here is a typical day for him:
Breakfast:
A bowl of cereal with milk, or
Two toaster waffles with syrup, or
Two pieces of toast with peanut butter and/or jam, or
One piece toast with butter and 2 eggs
Plus a glass of milk
Lunch (school lunch packed; includes mid-morning snack):
Bagel with cream cheese or sandwich with deli meat or egg salad
A piece of fruit
A yogurt cup or cheese string
A serving of crackers, rice cakes or other savory item
Something sweet - granola bar, a cookie, pudding etc.
A juice box
After school snack (usually 2-3 items):
Fruit
Nuts
Cheese & crackers
Peanut butter & banana roll-up
Muffin or banana bread or something I may have made
A glass of milk
Dinner:
Meat, 2 veggies, starch... generally speaking
We don't usually do evening desserts, but then our kids a moderate amount of junk as you can see...
Sounds to me like maybe he's being restricted a little too much? If my kids want "more" after any meal they can help themselves to fruit and vegetables as much as they want. They're normally fine with that.0 -
Sounds like you're keeping VERY healthy options around for him, which is awesome! I think your heart is in the right place and you're doing a great job teaching him about nutrition. However, we have to remember that we're looking at this from an adult's point of view; of course we think snacking on fruits and veggies all day is awesome! To kids, on the other hand, that's not so cool. He probably visits friends' houses and sees that they snack on things like pop tarts, chips, candy, etc. Then he feels restricted by what he has at home.
I would talk to him about it; let him know that sneaking food is not acceptable and ask why he feels the need to do so. It's very possible that he just doesn't WANT to eat healthy foods all the time, and honestly, that's okay. Maybe you guys could work out something where he's allowed to have one treat food instead of a healthy snack each day. Just talk to him and see what the best course of action is from there.0 -
Talk to him
get him involved and ask his opinion then work out a solution that suits both of you. 0 -
It sounds to me like you are talking way too much about food. also like he is getting a "bad/good" message about food and it's starting to make him want the "forbidden" things. his diet may be low of fats in general and may be why he's going for peanut butter amongst other things.
IDK, this post almost read as like you are bragging how perfect the foods you provide for your kid are. it's hard nowadays to just be relaxed and natural when everyone everywhere from schools to dr's offices are all hyped up about the obesity scare but if you think your weight problems might be learned or behavior induced try to give him a chance in a relaxed and moderate environment to learn about food on his own. Provide all the good stuff sure but don't sound the alarms if he gets unhealthy things here and there. He's just a kid. You may be making the yummy stuff MORE desireable by giving it attention albeit negative. You may be boring him to death about the healthy stuff. I felt that way just reading it and I'm not even a kid. Food is not somethign that should be lectured about, worried about, obsessed about etc. It's just what your body needs, you eat it, then it's done. Try not to make such a big deal for him so hopefully he can grow up with healthy attitudes and a wide range of tastes foodwise. The limiting the milk and juice and then just water all day sounds so finger wagging and controlling it makes me uncomfortable. It also sounds straight out of the pages of the Dr's office pamphlets. Try not to take things so literal. Maybe an average is okay. Maybe some days he has more milk other days more juice etc. IDK, I feel bad for the kid. He's stealing and sneaking food. If it were my kid and this was the result of adults in my house like the other parent or grandparents or nanny or anyone, I'd put my foot down and tell them to lay off. I'd take it as a sign someone's imposing food ideas that are messing him up. That's what I would think if it were my kid. Not to be mean but I think that's what your asking, should you lay off. To me, yes.0 -
Sounds like you're keeping VERY healthy options around for him, which is awesome! I think your heart is in the right place and you're doing a great job teaching him about nutrition. However, we have to remember that we're looking at this from an adult's point of view; of course we think snacking on fruits and veggies all day is awesome! To kids, on the other hand, that's not so cool. He probably visits friends' houses and sees that they snack on things like pop tarts, chips, candy, etc. Then he feels restricted by what he has at home.
I would talk to him about it; let him know that sneaking food is not acceptable and ask why he feels the need to do so. It's very possible that he just doesn't WANT to eat healthy foods all the time, and honestly, that's okay. Maybe you guys could work out something where he's allowed to have one treat food instead of a healthy snack each day. Just talk to him and see what the best course of action is from there.
I think the friends factor is an important one. He sees how other households operate and he wants the same (perceived) freedoms. This is definitely something you can and probably should talk to him about; as it will also be a factor when he gets older: But other kids have longer curfews, but other kids can play video games for as long as they like, but other kids...
also - and honestly, form your first post I don't think this is what's happening here, I'm probably just projecting my own experiences to your situation - it could be that he thinks you're being hypocritical. My mom would always say how she hated potato chips, she'd never ever buy them. But when I or my siblings did (from our allowance), she'd go right ahead and help herself with a huge handful or two. Or three. Until they were gone. Not exactly "hating it" right? I don't think she even realized the mixed messages she was sending, and at the time I don't think I consciously perceived it that way; but I did realize it when I started making my weightloss a structured thing with portion control and calorie counting.0 -
I think you have a normal, healthy kid but you're pushing your own issues with food onto him. There's a line between educating a kid and brow beating him.
Active boys need a lot of fuel and a gazillion years of evolution have gone into directing his desires towards calorie dense foods.
Lighten up before you end up with a full scale food rebellion.0 -
why not just steer him towards sports and teach him that losing isn't acceptable
yeah, I have no kids..
still though, an active kid can eat a lot and grow like a weed0
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