Alone in my weight loss struggle...95lbs!

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lilianamarques33
lilianamarques33 Posts: 10 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I am 29 (in about a weeks) and weigh 218 at the moment. heaviest was 225 and lost 25 last year. and gained some back obviously... i am kind of stuck! can't seem to lose any weight and am alone in all of this. my husband is a masculine build tall, broad shouldered and i am not... i feel disgusting next to him and like everyone looks at us and thinks...jesus he can do soooo much better!!

i've been on every diet and have been to a nutritionist (where i lost the 25). and nothing ever seems to work.

any advice is gladly accepted!

Replies

  • clobern
    clobern Posts: 341 Member
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    Don't diet. Change how you view food, how you view exercise. Take baby steps and realize it will take some time. If you figure out your BMR and TDEE (MFP helps with that) you should be able to figure out how much to eat... once you do, track it and be HONEST. It will happen if you keep at it.
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
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    Great advice. you are NOT alone. WE are here to help! Feel free to friend me. I totally agree on finding out what calories you are eating and what your body should be at. You may be surprised at how many calories are in some innocent looking foods. Cutting back on processed foods as much as possible helps a ton. A calorie may be a calorie, but the Nutrition you get from something good vs a cookie is totally different, and how your body reacts is different.

    One day at a time! Move as much as you can. Find an exercise you LOVE and it makes all the difference in actually doing it.

    Nancy
  • RCadence
    RCadence Posts: 79
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    Try to log into here every day and record what you do. The folk on here are AMAZING and it will surely make you feel like your not alone in your fight to lose weight :-)

    Even if you fancy a rant, mutual moaning is beneficial than raiding the fridge (in my experience)

    Feel free to add me if you want an extra friend for support! :smile: :drinker:
  • jess_erin
    jess_erin Posts: 69 Member
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    Add some friends, the support helps. Start with small steps (going for an extra walk a few times a week, cutting out one snack, ect) and grow from there. Drink lots of water too. Add me if you'd like.
  • sweetness256
    sweetness256 Posts: 20 Member
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    You are certainly not alone. I am in the same boat. My husband is fit and I am no where near it. But I am working on it everyday (some days are better than others!) I weigh 218 lbs with a goal of 165. You can add me as a friend and support each other.
  • lambchristie
    lambchristie Posts: 552 Member
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    Most people are never alone. Although you mention your husband and his physical shape you did not mention if he is supportive of you and your journey. I agree, don't diet change your lifestyle and habits regarding food. Become friends with a good food scale, measuring spoons and cups; and then use them for EVERY meal and snack you have. Start with baby steps and get up and move. Be it cleaning house, working in your yard, walking around the block. Do sometime every day for 20-30 minutes; and build on your time each day. Tracking here on MFP has helped me and others a lot in our journey. I will send you a friend's request; feel free to add me for additional support.

    We are in this together! :flowerforyou:
  • Foxxyfiercefitness
    Foxxyfiercefitness Posts: 44 Member
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    Definitely add friends. While I have friends on here from all over, I started by searching for some in my area, around my age and with the same weight goals! It helps so much to see encouraging people in your news feed doing their best and helping you do yours. Especially when you have those "blah" days and you see that your friends are getting their workout in..you feel like you just have to as well! I'd also say to keep your diary open for friends. It makes you accountable for what you eat more if you know people are watching. Stay strong and feel free to add me if you want. :smile:
  • lilianamarques33
    lilianamarques33 Posts: 10 Member
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    Wow... thank you all sooo much !!

    My husband is supportive but he knows I get really frustrated rather quickly and lose hope...but he is into eating healthy. and although I weigh a lot i happen to try to eat very healthy foods, fruit, veggies, except for breakfast... i always have something quick like oatmeal and bagels...bad i know!

    i try to go to the gym 3-4 times a week and have a 3 year old that gives me a lot to do. i just have a weak spot for ice cream, chocolate and coffee (with milk and sugar)...i know! and i hate water but i know i need to drink it...so i've been trying.

    i will friend everyone!!
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    I'm about the same size as you, just older (51yo lol), but I have been losing weight. Check out my profile, if you like what you see, feel free to add me.
  • jodynolte
    jodynolte Posts: 243 Member
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    Feel free to add me as a friend. You are not alone. The support on MFP is amazing! You can still eat what you want, just stay within your calories for the day and get some exercise. I hate water too, but I add Crystal Light so it is tolerable, and since I've started doing that the pounds are coming off quicker! Good luck!
  • leeleastar
    leeleastar Posts: 1 Member
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    if you eat more fruit you won't crave sweets nearly as much... that's how I cut back
  • mandasalem
    mandasalem Posts: 346 Member
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    I completely understand where you're coming from! My husband is naturally thin, but he's SUPER supportive-- but he also doesn't always know the best choices when suggesting meals snacks, etc. because he's not metabolizing them the same way I am.

    The best tool on this site is the diary-- the next best (very close second) is the community! Feel free to friend me, if you'd like, but the forums are great for advice, the friends function is great for encouragement and accountability.

    And don't worry about what's "bad" or "good" (you labeled your breakfast bad, but oatmeal's not necessarily bad!)-- it's about choices, and quantities, and learning to choose a good balance for your day and your lifestyle.

    You can do this!

    Oh, and a big raspberry to anyone who looks at you and your husband askance! You're gorgeous, now you're just working on getting fit!
  • Camera_BagintheUK
    Camera_BagintheUK Posts: 707 Member
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    My husband is skinny - weighs about 10 stone I think. One time when we went camping, the airbed wasn't blown up enough and I spent the night lying on the ground cold, while he was buoyed up by me pushing all the air under him!

    Anyway, now I'm rapidly descending to his weight!

    You will do it! Just listen to the people telling you it's not about dieting, it's about changing your relationship with food. Stick with it and talk to people here - they're full of support and encouragement! You're so far from alone!
  • SteveStedge1
    SteveStedge1 Posts: 149 Member
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    everyone looks at us and thinks...jesus he can do soooo much better!!

    I don't think anyone thinks like that. That's a bit of a self-defeating attitude. I think you're definitely on the right path with this website! Be hardcore about tracking everything you eat on here, even if you go over, then you can be honest about your strengths and address your weaknesses. I know, myself, a can NOT have potato chips, 1/2 gall ice cream, chocolates in the house because I WILL eat them all.

    We just don't buy them.
  • anvacarz_again
    anvacarz_again Posts: 22
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    You lost 25 pounds with the nutritionist, so THAT was what worked. Stay within your macros/calories and you can even have a treat (just count it in), drink more water, and get active. It's a process but if you really want it, you'll do it. Good luck!!
  • conniebartram90
    conniebartram90 Posts: 1
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    I started this same journey 4 years ago. I was 208 pounds. I cried and begged my husband to budget for me to do Jenny Craig at 300.00 a month. He told me whatever it took to make me feel better. With my husband being in the military I just couldn’t keep up with the activity that he wanted to do on a regular basis and I always felt that he was slowing up or skipping just to keep my company. That day I started with Weightwatchers online. In the four years I lost 50 pounds. I decided that 16.00 a month wasn’t worth the last 9 pounds I wanted to get off so I quit. 1 ½ years later I found the 9 pounds was still haunting me so I decided to try myfitnesspal, free but yet the same concept. In the 2 weeks that I’ve been using this tool I have lost 3 pounds. I can’t say enough about how I changed my thought process when I found the foods I thought were good for me were really full of added sugar and calories that I had no idea about. The moral to my story is food journaling is the way to go. If you put 1/ 2 a cookie in your mouth, journal it. You would be surprised how quickly the calories rack up. As for the 95 pds or whatever it is you want ot lose, just think of it in 10% increments, it won’t seem so insurmountable.
  • greenmm1980
    greenmm1980 Posts: 86 Member
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    What is the best weight loss plan? There is no best plan. Every person is different. The only method to discover your best plan is through trial and error. However, in order to assess the effectiveness of the plan you choose, you must stick to one plan. You have to give that plan your all for at least a month before you will know if it will work for you. The best weight loss plan for you is out there. You just have to find it and stick to it. Good luck on your journey. You aren't alone, especially on MFP!!
  • lilianamarques33
    lilianamarques33 Posts: 10 Member
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    Steve, you made me cry!! but you are right!!! I don't buy sweets anymore either... i do however have a chocolate every now and again...

    Thanks everyone... I am just sort of lost as to what I should be eating... like for example... a sweet potato instead of a regular potato? how much fruit and which ones are better for you... i have the meats down and haven't had pork in like 5 months!! mostly eating turkey, chicken, and lean red meat. i try to buy no hormone, organic meats. and eat a lot of fish! i try to have an apple every day and sometimes add peanut butter.

    you guys have already helped me begin to get my confidence back :)

    where do i get my MRPP???
  • HealthyGinny
    HealthyGinny Posts: 821 Member
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    I am 29 (in about a weeks) and weigh 218 at the moment. heaviest was 225 and lost 25 last year. and gained some back obviously... i am kind of stuck! can't seem to lose any weight and am alone in all of this. my husband is a masculine build tall, broad shouldered and i am not... i feel disgusting next to him and like everyone looks at us and thinks...jesus he can do soooo much better!!

    i've been on every diet and have been to a nutritionist (where i lost the 25). and nothing ever seems to work.

    any advice is gladly accepted!

    Trust me when I say that before joining mfp, I've tried every diet too, all in vain.

    Now, I'm here and trying my best and it might be slow at times (plateaus can suck!) but it does work, it really does. First thing to do is work on your mindset (yes, I know, easier said than done) but you have to try to not be too hard on yourself and think of yourself as disgusting.

    Also, stop thinking in terms of "diet"; I don't want to be cliché and go all "it's not a diet but a lifestyle" on you but really, people who have a lot of weight to lose like us will probably have to always be careful with what and how we eat so best think of it as a longterm change of habits. At first, it can be a bit trying but it gets easier quite quickly.

    Give a chance to mfp, try things and when you think you're stuck, change things up a bit. Try to exercise if you can but if you can't yet, try to walk (I started by walking more than a year ago because I couldn't really exercise and I just took up running two weeks ago and I'm loving it!). I know it can be hard when you look at how much you have to lose but take it one day at a time and be honest with yourself about what you eat, log absolutely everything and buy a kitchen scale if you don't have one already. At first, don't keep in the house what you know will cause you to binge, try to explain things to your husband to have his support, drink enough water. Don't worry too much about eating too much fruit, people usually don't get obese by eating too much fruit!

    It's not impossible, just believe you can do it. Also, don't cut out all treats from your diet or you'll go crazy! Just try to eat within your cal goal and check your macros as much as you can :)

    Feel free to add me if you want a supportive friend!

    Good luck!

    xx
    Ginny, 25

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