ByeBYE 105 lbs. of Self Inflicted Pain and Suffering!

I know I just posted progress over a week ago but this is a BIG FREAKIN DEAL! lol

My whole life I started things and stopped them. I never stayed motivated enough to just stick to one thing and finish. I would start and have a lot of interest in the beginning but then soon after, I would get bored and lose all interest. This may or may not have added into the many years of abuse I had put my body through.

I guess I was depressed. Admitting that to myself is probably a hard thing for me to do because I was always such a shiney happy person on the outside whenever anyone was around me. It's when I sit and think about the times I was alone that really stick out to me. Its hard to also think about the series of events that lead to this depression but it's quite obvious that being over weight was a good fuel to that fire, which in return lead to me being Morbidly Obese.

For the better part of 14 years I was severely overweight and unhappy deep down. Thinking that life was a party and nothing bad could ever happen was on my mind. If there was a party I was there or throwing it. Years of drinking and eating finally lead to me weighing 380 lbs. PLUS. I can guess that number at some point was closer to 400 lbs. Either way, I was very unhealthy. The days, weeks, months and years that went by that ended in me crying myself to sleep cannot be counted. I will never forget them but I will not miss them either.

Today, I have lost 105 lbs. I stare at that number and I cry because just 8 months ago I was that 380 lb. girl still crying myself to sleep. 8 months ago I started something and I haven't stopped and I won't. I can't. Not only am I accountable for myself but there are so many peoples lives I touch on a daily basis now its amazing. I have finally found my calling. I have a long way to go, but this time next year I will be yet another changed person.

The amount of pain my body was in for so long. I don't miss it. The activities I never participated in because I was so big and got winded quickly. I'm not a part of. The asthma attacks. I don't miss them. The things people say behind your back. I won't miss it. The attention you get from your peers because you are changing into a physically better person is what I have longed for. It's odd for people who are thin to think about how differently people treat you when you are big. In some peoples mind they can't believe the things people say and do because they wouldn't do those things. My life is becoming very surreal. Guys are noticing me, asking me out. I have more choices in my life now and those choices will only grow. I can't wait for the next 100 lbs to come off

So, take a little look at my journey