I feel alone.

baconandcandy
baconandcandy Posts: 8
in Chit-Chat
My fiance has his own things going on. I'm trying to find my own way in this life. I'm trying to watch what I eat and try to get as much out of this life as I can. He chats with his buddies, he laughs, he's social. All in front of his computer. I'm in front of my laptop trying to find ways I can better myself. Ideas, aspirations, dreams etc. I just feel like I have no one to talk to about it. I know weight loss doesn't come fast or easy, it's a life altering, life-long uphill battle for some (me) but I'm hoping slowly I'll see some progress. I hope I feel some progress too. Pain has always held me back from getting out and doing what my body needs. I seriously just need to push through it. I can't wait to sweat & not wheeze for air. I can't wait until people can see a transformation. I can't wait until I can see a transformation. I'm doing this alone because I need to & I can't wait anymore for anyone to join this ride with me. I can't hold it off until next week. I can't afford to gain weight. I'm doing this for the future of my unborn children. I'm doing this so hopefully I can conceive in the near future. This is all I want in life is health & a family. This is why I chose not to give up and eat endless amounts of ice cream or cookies, which I LOVE. But I'm just not going to. I love my alcohol as much as the next 24 year old gal, but I choose no to take another sip. I just finished my first day and I know it sounds a little preachy but it's never too late to start. a new life. cheers (with water) to all of you who've accomplished & trying to accomplish your weight loss :wink:

Replies

  • ouiouilezizi
    ouiouilezizi Posts: 36
    Hey, best of luck with your journey!

    I'm the same age (24) and in a similar relationship situation although not married (been living with my boyfriend/future husband for five years now, hehe). Ultimately having the support of your partner is very important in this journey, so talk to him and explain that you need him to be there for you. Communicate your needs.

    Also, be kind to yourself and realize that weight loss may take time for you... like, a lot of time. It's taken me 2 years to lose about 40 pounds, because I didn't (read: couldn't) go nonstop on "diet" mode, and found it best to tackle my weight loss in spurts where I lost 6-10 pounds, then maintained, etc... I also found it helpful to focus on small changes/ habits, that over two years have seriously added up!

    I adore cookies, cakes, sweets, etc. and still eat them, but I've really altered my relationship with them over the past couple years. An example of one evolution: I used to buy chocolate chip cookies from TJ's and eat 4-5 a night. Then, I decided I would begin making my own cookies to better understand what ingredients went in them and to prevent myself from easy access. I began altering the recipe to make them (sorta) healthier by using only organic ingredients. I used to enjoy cookies with whole milk, but I eventually swapped that with vanilla coconut milk to reduce calories. Once I realized that portion control was an issue, I continued baking cookies but last month I started using a 1/4th recipe (which yeilds 4 cookies total) so I get two, "hubby" gets two and there's none leftover.

    So, something as simple as my relationship with COOKIES, actually had quite the evolution over two years, and this is how it is with lots of aspects of weight loss. For me, I've been overweight my whole life (seriously: born 11lbs 3 oz LOL) So, I can't expect to change ALL the behaviors over 24 years that contibuted to my condition, and neither should you! Tackle little changes over a long time.

    Finally, be kind to yourself. Even if your husband is not supportive, ultimately we need to be our greatest companions in life!
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    I'm late forties and something just clicked over or me this year. I realized that I was spending my time waiting. Waiting for my husband to want to do something, sometime just waiting for him to notice me. Waiting for him to wake up or get off he omputer.

    My new jolt to myself is that when I get in that mode, I ask myself, "What would I be doing if he was not here." What would a WANT to do?

    Then I do it.

    I'm not a lady in waiting anymore.
  • baconandcandy
    baconandcandy Posts: 8
    I love that, thank you so much. I'm tired of waiting.
  • Caged_Heat
    Caged_Heat Posts: 1,031 Member
    I turned 60 when it clicked for me. I'm still trying to lose my original goal of fourty pounds. I have been up to -33 but have slipped back some. I'm not discouraged. I am three weeks into a workout plan that includes cardio and strength. First time ever for me.

    I let my 40s and 50s tomb feeling overweight, unappealing and getting older every day. I don't feel that way any more. Even 20 pounds can make a huge difference.

    Good luck. You should also post this in the Support forum if you haven't already done so.

    :flowerforyou:
  • baconandcandy
    baconandcandy Posts: 8
    Thank you so much for your encouragement. It's so nice to have people here that know what you're going though. Just for that, I plan on sticking it out until my goal is reached. Rainy days outweigh the sunny ones around here so I'll have to find something to do inside. We have a pretty small place & my fiance & I bump into each other way too much. I want to try to Xbox kinect, we have a few games on there that get you sweating but I'm so embarrassed if he or anyone (neighbors) see me jumping around like a monkey LOL

    Portion control has to be practiced around here more thoroughly. I find it hard to eat big meals through out the day but once 9pm comes along i'll have a big plate of starchy fatty food (courtesy of my fiance) & that's how I'm just used to eating, for the past 6 or so years. I have to change that little habit & start cooking for the both of us rather than have him practice his culinary skills. He cooks the most delicious foods, but I'm not there standing over his shoulders watching what exactly he puts in.
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    I was 50 before it clicked for me so congratulations on taking steps at such a young age to get healthy! I like what one poster above said about tired of waiting for her husband to be a part of it. The hard truth of life is that there is no guarantee that any of our friends or relatives will be there tomorrow to give us what they're giving us today.

    When it comes to self transformation, you have to do it yourself. I'm the one that has to get out of the chair and move. I'm the one that has to say no to the 3rd cookie or 2nd piece of cake, or the big dish of ice cream just before bed. I had asked my husband for support (by giving up his chips and sweets) hundreds of times and finally I realized that it wasn't fair of me to ask him to change a lifestyle that worked for him ((he's tall and fit) in order to change my lifestyle that wasn't working. Now that I'm making my own decisions about my health, he is extremely supportive emotionally, which is really what I need most from him.

    Reach down inside. Find the inner you that is healthy and strong and invite her to come to the surface!

Categories