So, I screwed up - again...

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howel1227
howel1227 Posts: 1 Member
in Motivation and Support
...and tonight I FORCED myself to step on the scale. It sits at the bottom of my bed, waiting quietly for me to come around. I am sure that it has a sense of my dread. I weighed myself, knowing that it was NOT going to be good - AT all. Knowing that I have done some HORRIFIC eating for the past month without ANY regard for my health, emotional or physical. And tonight, I have to start over - again. Because I gained all that I had lost. I just can't get over how utterly careless I was. A lot of reasons, really. My daughter, my "rock" moved out. I have been so depressed, even knowing that this day was coming and that it is the BEST of times for her - I find it hard to breath some days. I have another child whose marriage is totally in the toilet and grandchildren involved. My finances are rocky at BEST for the next three months. A LOT of emotional eating. But, in the end, I have no one to blame but myself. I did not love myself enough to put all the other stuff aside and reach into my reserves to save myself. And so now I start again. This sucks.

Replies

  • Julietecosse
    Julietecosse Posts: 165
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    I hope you have a better day today. I know it is a cliche, but things can only get better. Sending you a big hug.:love:
  • Shock_Wave
    Shock_Wave Posts: 1,573 Member
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    journey to success starts with that first step. you gotta start some where. Stay focused and relearn better eating habits. You can do it if you put your mind to it. :flowerforyou:
  • FixIngMe13
    FixIngMe13 Posts: 405 Member
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    ...and tonight I FORCED myself to step on the scale. It sits at the bottom of my bed, waiting quietly for me to come around. I am sure that it has a sense of my dread. I weighed myself, knowing that it was NOT going to be good - AT all. Knowing that I have done some HORRIFIC eating for the past month without ANY regard for my health, emotional or physical. And tonight, I have to start over - again. Because I gained all that I had lost. I just can't get over how utterly careless I was. A lot of reasons, really. My daughter, my "rock" moved out. I have been so depressed, even knowing that this day was coming and that it is the BEST of times for her - I find it hard to breath some days. I have another child whose marriage is totally in the toilet and grandchildren involved. My finances are rocky at BEST for the next three months. A LOT of emotional eating. But, in the end, I have no one to blame but myself. I did not love myself enough to put all the other stuff aside and reach into my reserves to save myself. And so now I start again. This sucks.

    (*(*( HUGS )*)*)
    First of all....No more beating yourself up. Tomorrow... it is a new day. You are going through a lot right now emotionally. It really has to be hard on you with your daughter moving out and your other one going through a miserable time with her marriage. I am so very sorry. You know something... The best thing I could have done for myself when I was going through a horrible time in my life (very depressed/anxiety) was go walking at the local park. I would go even if it was raining... because the feeling I got out there in the fresh air revived me... lifted my soul up... and I had a chance to get my thoughts together while I walked. I did my best thinking out there in that fresh air.
    There is always going to be times in our lives that are gonna make us go crazy emotionally. We are gonna be stressed over finances, we are gonna be hurting because someone is moving away... it is just bound to happen. I know what you are going through financially though...and that is a huge stressor. I only made 14,000 last year and supported 3 children on that. Talk about stressed out last year!!!! But hey... you are starting over. CLEAN SLATE. NEW DAY. Pick yourself up.... dust off the negativity... and how about taking a walk (I downloaded a bunch of contemporary christian songs on my ipod) and clearing your head... thinking about ways to make yourself feel better. I'm not saying you need to download christian songs... but maybe download nature songs or hey... if you like Rock, go for it. Whatever you need to make you relax and enjoy your surroundings. You are getting a good workout in in the meantime. Anything that gets you up and moving is a good thing!

    And I am praying for you. It is hard. Life is hard.... but God never promised us it would be easy....he promised us that he would be with us every step of the way.

    I really do wish you the best. :flowerforyou:
  • 19sherry58
    19sherry58 Posts: 8 Member
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    I am so sorry to hear the stress in your post. I know all about emotional eating, child with marriage problem ( they are divorced and she is happily remarried) and children involved and also finances. Then when we add on top of that our weight and how we have let to get out of control we fell even more depressed and want to eat, or I should say at least I do.
    I know a lot of times we just need to vent. You have done the right thing in taken the first step by joining here and hopefully we both will make friends who will support us as we change our lifestyles. if you wish you can add me as a friend and we can go through this together.

    Oh and don't worry about screwing up... I haven't had a very successful day since I joined earlier this week!:blushing:
  • jamiek917
    jamiek917 Posts: 610 Member
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    we all screw up, and some of us backtrack a lot. but every day is a chance to turn it around.

    maybe use this life change as a chance to truly focus on you...make a committment to your health and your emotional wellbeing. getting back on track with diet and exercise will make you feel proud and empowered- and you deserve that
  • madddonna
    madddonna Posts: 5
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    If you keep beating yourself up, you are only going to get more depressed. The best thing you can do is forgive yourself and reinforce the positives in your life. If you can't think of any positives, here are a few:
    . you have a daughter , 2 actually, to love
    . you are above ground
    . tomorrow is another day
    . you can still afford to buy food

    See, I've never met you, but I know these positive things about you by reading your post.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    so you were upset and you over indulged? never mind! that was yesterday.
    today you need to get back up on your feet. you need to show that kid that it's ok for her to go, that she doesn't need to feel guilty. you need to start taking care of your physical and mental health, buy something yummy and healthy, make yourself socialise.
    even when they're all grown up, kids need their moms. you owe it to her to be well.
  • archer1972
    archer1972 Posts: 3 Member
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    don't beat yourself up, we all have setbacks and disappointments, just remember that tomorrow is a new day and a chance to start again. try not to let other peoples emotional issues affect you too much, and I know that's easier said than done.
  • gpiercebutler
    gpiercebutler Posts: 15 Member
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    One thing you know now: you can lose the weight. You started it and were doing well. Now you can start again with more knowledge about what works and you know you can do it.

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