Hoping to find at least one person who understands.

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Hello! I'm totally new to this website and feel a bit awkward about it seeing as how I don't normally get involved in online communities of any sort, including the usual social networking sites, and I feel like my problem might be completely out of place with most everyone else's. But I figured I'd give it a go.

I don't have a problem with my weight in the sense that I'm overweight and need to lose a bunch of pounds. I'm actually almost underweight. My eating and exercise habits aren't healthy though. I'll go through weeks of extreme dieting where I can't bear to take in more than 700-1000 calories, and then I'll start binge eating like crazy - thousands and thousands of calories type crazy - forcing myself to drastically lower my calorie intake again. It's been hell on my body and hell on my mental health/sanity. I've decided to finally start gradually upping my calorie intake by eating more healthy foods, and I'm tired of just walking/running all the time for the sole purpose of getting rid of any fat. I want to try a variety of workouts so I can at least be somewhat toned with a little muscle, instead of just skin and bones. It's just insanely difficult for me to eat more without feeling disgusting, and even harder for me to endure a complete workout without giving up after ten minutes.

I know that was a lot to read and if you read it all, it really means the world to me. Uhh I don't know how to end this. ..Okay.

Replies

  • Jimaudit
    Jimaudit Posts: 275
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    I would start with some serious counseling. figuring out why you have the violent swings in your eating patterns might help smooth them out.

    I also am a binge eater with anxiety and panic thrown into the mix. I get anxious about eating that next meal.....your mind can really screw you up so take the time to recognize that it's not always just a food issue.


    Good luck.
  • x_Shruti_x
    x_Shruti_x Posts: 21 Member
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    It sounds like you have a bad relationship with food. Something which most of us here have and want to change. I'm not there yet but you'll definitely find the support you need at mfp!
  • harphy
    harphy Posts: 290 Member
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    +1, get help, you have eating disorder.

    You are on the right website, this page is not just for overweigt but for all who wish to be fit and healthy. Make sure you log everything you eat wheteher it's zero or 3000 calories. Get friends who will monitor your eating or open your profile to the public. You can add me, if you wish! Good luck!
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    Firstly, you're definitely at the right place. Try looking for some ED support groups, there are several on here, the people who are going through what you're going through can be a huge support.

    However I think you're dealing with the symptoms instead of the cause right now. If you can, please seek help from a psychologist?

    From my own experience... When I had a burnout from stuff at work, I used to punish myself by eating junk. I wasn't even craving it, just... Well. And I was thinking suicidal thoughts because of being unhappy overall and with my body, then I'd stuff myself again. I honestly don't think I could have gotten my eating under control if I hadn't dealt with the burnout first.
  • astrovivi
    astrovivi Posts: 183 Member
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    Get some professional counselling.

    Forums can be helpful in getting some moral support but every person is different and has their own issues to sort out.

    You should not be solely reliant on mfp or any other site for guidance. Everyone is well meaning but some pro counselling is a good start. You can easily get more confused if you rely on forum support.

    Your relationship with food is a symptom, not the main issue.

    Wishing you well.

    I also battled an eating disorder many years ago. Have faith that if you sort out the root cause issues and really want to overcome it, your chances of doing so are infinitely greater.

    :smile:
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    First off, I agree with the other posters that you may need to get some counseling. EDs are serious and if you don't address it now, it can be a lifelong problem.

    Perhaps though, MFP can help. Learning about how to balance your macros, eat a healthy diet and exercise in a productive manner could go a long way and it has helped others on here. If you want body recomposition (less fat and more muscle), and that sounds like what you want, consider adding strength training to your exercise routine and cut down on the cardio for now. Perhaps agree with yourself to work out for 5-6 hours a week and no more. You can definitely use MFP to gain weight and many of us use to cycle through periods of gain and loss. Some basics (1) get 1 gram of protein for every pound of lean body mass, (2) at least 0.35 grams of fat per pound of total body weight, and (3) get enough fiber and micronutrients (the MFP guidelines are okay for these). If you satisfy those then have something that you enjoy, such as ice cream. Try to slowly get yourself to learn to eat at the right calorie level every day rather than binging and then starving.
  • astrovivi
    astrovivi Posts: 183 Member
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    I'm agree with the recommendation for counseling. In regards to your frustration with putting on lean muscle, I can relate. I was always "skinny fat." With proper diet and a weight training routine though, it most certainly can be done. Create a plan, stick to it, and within 3 months you will see significant results.

    this is true. I have put on 2kg of lean mass and it's taken me a year to do it but in that time I experimented to find what worked for me in terms of training and diet.

    Patience and the willingness to give it a go will pay dividends. I was underweight for years but have been making really good gains, especially this year. I am no longer "skinny fat".

    Best of luck :)
  • taitmamly
    taitmamly Posts: 19
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    Sorry sweetie but you have an eating disorder.

    I used to be like that in my early teens and I found sport to be the answer for me. I played rugby, did long distance running and used the trampoline classes available to build a very healthy body. I advice studying nutrition to an extent too. Find out exactly what your body needs (not the averages etc) and then give your body it. You'd be amazed at the changes :)

    (Just don't do what I did and forget to stop eating as much when you stop doing the sports!!!)
  • Camera_BagintheUK
    Camera_BagintheUK Posts: 707 Member
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    I'm not going to repeat what everyone else has said - I hope it's helpfu to you

    But I wanted to say it took courage and insight for you to come here and say that. So take heart - you're on your way! :flowerforyou:
  • nilleah
    nilleah Posts: 177
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    Of course I am in agreement with what everyone has said but I am also like you.

    I only with say that I would like to help you and if you want I would ask that you add me as a friend and I will do all that I can to support and help you through this. :)
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,366 Member
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    Well done for taking the first step and admitting you have a problem. That takes a lot of courage and means you have turned the corner.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    Yes, do get counselling. Your doctor is the first call. I used to suffer with depression and was a big overeater. I have had SOOOOOO much therapy and don't overeat now and am a healthy weight at last.
    Bump up healthy protein as a first step. Also good fats. - nuts, avocados etc. They will feed your hair, skin, teeth and your brain. Your brain needs healthy fats to work properly.
    Good luck. You have been brave to come on here and share.. YOU CAN DO IT! :heart:
  • Lithium119
    Lithium119 Posts: 10 Member
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    You've found more than one person who understands :) I would also agree that you would almost definitely benefit greatly from some counseling, but we here can try to help you with food choices and exercise ideas. You said you can't stick to a whole routine, I can understand that. Some of the things that might help are:
    - get a workout partner
    - get a personal trainer (expensive, I know)
    - try using a workout DVD, those workouts are usually 30mins long and the instructors are usually very good motivators.

    Best of luck!
  • LizardQueen4PointOh
    LizardQueen4PointOh Posts: 245 Member
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    I, also, do not have much to add that hasn't already been mentioned, but I wanted you to know I read your post and I'm rooting for you! :flowerforyou:
  • katy_trail
    katy_trail Posts: 1,992 Member
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    I, also, do not have much to add that hasn't already been mentioned, but I wanted you to know I read your post and I'm rooting for you! :flowerforyou:

    and x10 on the strength training and everything beach said. You'll feel so much more confident and appreciate your body when you focus on what you can do.
  • SandyC04
    SandyC04 Posts: 32
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    Bravo to you for posting here... I don't have anything else to say that hasn't been already posted... I was told by my doctor, re my obesity, that first step is recognizing the issue... the second is beating it... Wishing you the best of luck on changing your life!!!! You have come to the right place... some amazing people here!!!