Mom says she's fat....

I read this a couple of weeks ago and I think it's an excellent read! I don't think that we often put too much thought into how our negative self-image impacts our children. I was fortunate to grow up with a mother who never put herself down or talked critically about food choices even though she was obese for most of my childhood. I try very hard to give a similar experience to my daughter. I don't talk about weight loss or calories in front of her - instead I emphasize how we need healthy food and exercise to grow up strong. Thanks for posting!

Love this.

Love love love this article

One of my driving forces behind my weight-loss is so that my negative self-talk doesn't brush off onto my children. My mother was cruel about my weight as a child and always put herself down about hers, but never did anything about it. I refuse to follow in those footsteps.

Wow!

The problem with Mom saying "And look at me, fat, ugly, and horrible" isn't that she's said she's fat. It's that she said she's ugly and horrible.

I often called myself fat in front of my daughters when I gained a few lbs, though I was never overweight until after they were grown. They are both in their 30's now and at a healthy weight. They eat right and exercise because that's what I taught them you do to keep from being fat.

Very good read, thank you for sharing this!

My mother was so far from this. She was born in the 20s in Orkney (UK) and had a very functional view of food. Food was very basic, and mostly boiled! She was a young adult during the second world war, and her mottos were "waste not, want not" and "make do and mend". My childhood was lived by those maxims. Nothing was thrown away. Everything was put to use somehow. I even remember some butter - rancid - in the fridge, but we had to use it, couldn't throw it away.

And I vividly remember a battle one day, when I must have been about 6 or 7 over a boiled carrot. I didn't want to eat it. Everyone left the table, I was left staring at this carrot. My mother insisted I had to eat it and I'd stay there till I did. Eventually, after a long stand off, she went off to the kitchen, I threw the carrot out of sight somewhere, she came back and praised me and took my plate. Years later she admitted, she knew fine well I would do that, and left the room so I could. But again, the pressure to eat all the food in front of me, the shame and guilt and stress if I can't. Even now, I struggle with leaving food on my plate! Which is unhelpful when you're trying to eat less!

I remember a few years ago, eating Christmas dinner at my sister's house. She started clearing dishes away, and pointed to a plate with an impossible mountain of food left, and said "Come on, that's got to be eaten, that can't go back in the kitchen". It was unrealistic, she didn't mean it literally, there was enough there for 4 more people! My instinctive reaction, even though I was stuffed to the point of nausea, was that I had to take more food. And it struck me then - my mother had instilled in me (unwittingly I'm sure) a sense of responsibility and guilt for wasting food. To this day I have a fight to leave food on the plate. I feel like I have to eat the last helping if nobody else will. Even now, in restaurants I have a pang of anxiety if the waiters come and take away plates with food left on them. So that's meant I've spent my lifetime eating too too much, having seconds, having the last piece.

I won't blame my mum. But while she thought she was teaching me postive values about not wasting food, I was learning unhealthy attitudes to food.

I think what everyone's saying about trying to teach their children the importance of healthy eating is good - and teaching children confidence and assertiveness to challenge negative messages, and to questions distorted ones.