What is Support , to you?

What is support to you ? To some people a "Bra" is considered a support, and as big as I am currently I could possibly wear a bra too, BUT LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR, I AM NOT, lol.

But ok, honestly I think so many think of support in many different ways, as are the people included in your support system. Most common are family memebers/spouses, kids, parents, and other relatives. Then there are best friends and co-workers, neighbors and workout buddies. Also you could have a Doctor and other medical people helping you, ,( if you can afford them), like nutritionist, dietician, chef, personal trainer, massuese, etc. And last you may have the online community like MFP or SP, yet these are people you never met, and most likely never spoke to, only PM'd , yet some love to PM and text and couldn't live without doing so, but not all of us are up to doing this, or can afford chef's and such.

I was wondering where most people fell into the categories listed above and where they get there most strongest support from. I would think the paid support staff would be the most consisitent and reliable, then family and friends/co-workers next. I left out a few like a "Shrink", or Surgeon and you could list more if you want.

You see I have MFP, and lately I have slowly gotten the Co-Workers to inquire and ask about my struggles, and do so with sincere care, not some false , "How Ya Doin ?", remarks. I finally got thru and have been allowed to ro get a dog with a Non-REFUNDABLE 250.00 DEPOSIT, which I will gladly pay, sso within in the next few months, maybe sooner , I will scour the shelters for a small to medium size dog , potty and chew trained, as much as I would love a puppy, they chew too much, they can't help it. So hopefully God willing , he will put me in touch with the right dog soon . So little steps are being made in my struggles, this one is very huge in so many ways, mentally and physically, but now at least I have something to care about other than just me, which for most people is enough, but lately for me it does not seem to be, or else I would not be as fat as I am and still struggling as hard as I am.

Now back to the other support system people, how many of them do you think you see daily, or speak to daily, almost all of them, not including the new age communication of the text messaging ( used instead of actual phone calls ) , thou I am not yet one of those people, for me speaking is the best form of communication, not typing into a phone, or laptop. Ya see where I going here, Support is given by those you speak to, see a few times a week, at minimum, not from people you never met or never spoke to, yet a few may be the exception, but I then would like to know the true amount of weight they had to lose, 2-20lbs most likely, 250lbs or more. Is this wrong to think so many do not know the true meaning of being alone and on your own in this big world of ours, for what-ever the reason, for me it mostly mine own demons that have kept me this way, after my tragedy that took my family from me, I never really recovered and being a trucker kept me to myself and fostered my wishing to be alone and now it has back-fired and put me in the mess I am in now, of over 400lbs, (yes once over 500lbs), but my desire to be alone has made it now difficult to break out and change this, , impossible, no , nothing is impossible with God's help, and I went belly up recently and lost my business, but yet I am still able to ick myself up and get back in the truck and currently am living paycheck to paycheck, like so many, but working I am, for now, while Ican, but if drastic changes don't happen soon, I may lose the right to drive this truck, medically speaking, and then I will truly be lost and this thought does scare me tremendously.

I have recently fought just giving up, as loneliness and depression seem to ebb and flow within me, yet deep down I wish to survive and maybe even live again, not just be the robot , going thru the motions, yet so far this has only been like a far away day dream, not something that could happen, but lately little things have been made me think that it could, and I could sure anjoy have a life once more, a reason to live and person or persons to share it with. Then I realize I am 400lbs and a truck driver, never home, don;t even have a home, I live out of the truck, and reality set back in. Who can I find willing to go on the road with me, at least once in awhile, or team up and drive with me, (this new truck is automatic) , way too much to think could ever happen.
So back to the support , I put my number out here a few times and only 1 person ever called me, and they never called back, and this did not go unnoticed by me, as maybe I finally had someone to talk to and talked there head off, went over board, most liekly, but think of it from my point of view, years of being alone, and when given a chance to talk, look out I have lots to say, especially when the damn breaks open, sorry, forgive me this, but it scares so many away...so back to being alone, the cycle seems solid and unpentrable, but I am praying to God it is not, but so far...

I think this post has straAyed way off course, I apologize, but the loneliness took over, ( no there is only 1 personality in here not many,lol) I will let this go and maybe try again.

If allowed I will leave my number here, and if overwhelmed with crazy texts and college aid phone calls I can change my phone number.. 954-614-1263

But to me support is personal and by people who you know and respect and want to please, thus the reason why they are supporting you, and done so in person mostly, but when unable to, then by phone calls , either daily (3-6 times a day ) ,yet today people text more than this on average, and for me driving and texting is more difficult, yet talking is ok.

Thank you MFP for letting me get this off my chest, maybe others are in my situation and this will help them, hope so.

Patrick