How to start again.... it seems impossible.

I think airplanes seemed impossible until they were invented.

Kristen - thanks, it seems like such a daunting task though

It really isn't any more daunting than going back to school, getting a new job, etc. Every change in life is "scary". But you have to change to make things better.

I am a self acknowledged food addict. I got to the size I am now through inaction and over eating. I used to start my plans with a cleanse, because it helped me curb my sugar addiction and see portions correctly. But my last cleanse (7 day master cleanse) left me weak and very sick. So I'm stuck in this evil pit where food is so wonderful and fulfilling that the idea of giving it up makes me so sad.

I honestly feel like I can't connect food to my weight. I can eat a candy bar and look at weight-loss inspiration and not feel like I'm cheating. I don't get it. I know everything there is to know about a calorie. I can work out like a champ, not that I've gotten to the gym in a couple of months. I know what I need to do, but giving up huge portions and all the free time I have when I don't work out (I have 2 jobs and am going back to school) seems like such as huge sacrifice that I've actually cried about it. Food makes me ridiculously happy. Even though I have more energy when I eat right and I feel amazing when I exercise, it seems like it's not worth it because of how strongly I'm addicted to food.

I've thought about giving up control of my food and investing in a weight-loss plan that sense pre-packaged meals, just to help me eat right. Thoughts?

I've also thought about going to OA, but that seems like a group of people who will tell me what I already know about my problems. HELP! I don't know what to do!

Firstly, I would say: you don't have to do everything at once. Baby steps. You don't have to give up "all" your free time to exercise, in fact you can lose weight without exercise. Personally, I would recommend exercise until the cows come home, for all its benefits, but it's not necessary for weight loss. If that part's not happening right now, concentrate on the food. Don't try to make massive changes - start by logging what you're eating. Look at your diary, and if you're struggling to meet your calorie goal, then look at where you can tweak things a bit. Stop doing cleanses, or looking for quick fixes. Start with calorie intake. Create a moderate calorie deficit (eg. set MFP to lose 1 lb a week). Make whatever changes you can live with long-term. Keep eating the foods you enjoy. Look at meal frequency and timing to see what suits you. Some people with overeating and/or binge problems find that intermittent fasting helps, because you get to eat a larger amount of food all at once. Experiment.

Secondly, I don't really know anything about OA, but why not give it a try? It seems like it's a popular thing (along with AA, NA etc...) If people keep going to these things, then obviously they're getting something out of it, and I'm sure it's not just the information that they're overeating. Alternatively, yeah - why not look into seeing a therapist or counsellor? If you can afford it, a good therapist is money well spent imo.

In the mean time, try to change your mentality a bit. Try to stop looking at eating as "cheating" - even overeating. I don't know too much about food addiction as such, but I was (and often am still) an emotional eater, and I was for a long time a compulsive overeater. I can tell you that you can learn to change habits. It can happen. Letting go of the guilt/shame/beating yourself up about food & eating is absolutely necessary if you're going to develop a good relationship with food. Food tastes good. We evolved to enjoy it, especially food high in fat and sugar. Some people respond more to food than others due to their genetic makeup. This is nothing to feel guilty about. It also doesn't mean that you can't change your habits.

I used to start my plans with a cleanse, because it helped me curb my sugar addiction and see portions correctly.

But that obviously didn't work, or you wouldn't be starting over all the time. No cleanses necessary. Just start logging everything you eat. No food is off limits. You can eat whatever you want - you just can't eat all of it all the time. Think about this: they are making more every day. Assuming you have a little money, a car and some free time, you can get any food you want pretty much whenever you want it. You don't NEED to eat 2 candy bars today. One is fine because you can get yourself another one the next time you want one. Also, candy bars aren't the evil devil that the diet industry wants you to think they are....stop putting food into good and bad categories and you'll stop stressing out so much about what's ok and what isn't.

I know what I need to do, but giving up huge portions and all the free time I have when I don't work out (I have 2 jobs and am going back to school) seems like such as huge sacrifice that I've actually cried about it.

So don't work out right now. You don't have to work out to lose weight. If it's too stressful right now, don't do it.

I've thought about giving up control of my food and investing in a weight-loss plan that sense pre-packaged meals, just to help me eat right. Thoughts?

If those worked, none of us would be here right now. Learn to do it yourself. It takes practice. You won't be perfect. But that's ok. Practice and patience will get you there.